Pep Watch

Apr 09, 2009 14:46

Cannot. Stop. Laughing. --credit to soarne
Oh, Pep. Times like this I really wonder what you and Deco would've been like, all stirred up in righteous indignation at the same time. Leading to The Naughty Bench 2.0, perhaps? Also, somebody needs to show this to Phil Brown to explain that Cesc wasn't exhibiting juvenile delinquent behavior, but typical culé ( Read more... )

champions league, barcelona, pep

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Comments 48

bustedflush April 9 2009, 22:43:21 UTC
OMG EIDUR! Sitting next to Bojan! *distracted* *distracted* *distracted*

Man, Pep needs to chill -- notice how he keeps pulling his pants up? That's because he just burned off about a week's worth of meals with all that flapping! Pep, you have two choices: Eat more, or calm down. Or, alternately, punch more holes in your skinny little belt. Three choices.

(I can't tell you how much I appreciate those periods of silence -- I always feel like those are signs of knowledge, because the announcers are content to watch, and don't feel the need to read wikipedia to us to show they've done their research. Are you telling me I'm misinterpreting the silence?)

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tall_tree April 9 2009, 22:53:47 UTC
And laughing at Pep!

lol Does flapping really make you lose weight? *makes note to start gesturing like Pep does* And of your three options, I think we know which one Pep is more apt to choose.

(I THINK THEY KNOW NOTHING! The Spanish commentators would tell us about what the players had for breakfast, and whether Leo had phoned his girlfriend last night, and then somehow work in how they still have a crush on Morientes. Also, sometimes I think they don't even pay attention to the game, they certainly don't seem to recognize the players. These announcers aren't at all invested in the sport.)

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bustedflush April 9 2009, 23:00:17 UTC
*sees only Eidur's hair* (I would, however, really love to know if a)Figo sees these matches, and b)what he thinks, if he does. I feel like, above all else, Pep's skinny ties are crying out for jibes.)

If you flap enough, definitely! Weren't there pickle (?) ads at some point that involved burning calories by bending your fingers? Flapping is 100x as much exertion as finger-bending!

(But how is it better to be all "He's a Capricorn who grew up in Kent, and has worn the number 10 since birth?!" That's not knowledge, that's reading. (I watched a UEFA Cup match today, broadcast buy a guy who managed to mispronounce "UEFA." My pain, it is great. But then I watched Undine on Fox Sports en Espanol, which made me feel much better.))

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tall_tree April 9 2009, 23:46:22 UTC
The hair? Really? But it is translucent! *stares through it* a) I hope he watched it b) Maybe he would advise less eye bulging and maw showing and more crotch bumping. 3) Yeah. You think Figo would recommend some good scarves for Pep? I think Pep would look good with a cozy scarf, like Yogi.

What? Pickle people are weirdos! But I will start the flapping, and if I do it fast enough, hopefully move on to flying.

(Well, I don't approve of that. I can access wikipedia too after all. But they shouldn't just sit there all silent and not call any of the plays. What if I'm out if the room when Pep flail attacks somebody, and they don't even mention it so I can run back in? the Spanish commentators would be all over that! (See, that's the magic of the Spanish broadcast, you don't understand it all! You just hear the occasional curious phrase, and you kind of wonder what Kun Aguero has to do with the Barcelona game, but it's a passing thought. ))

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guede_mazaka April 9 2009, 22:54:07 UTC
Pep and Deco would have been getting each other in headlocks out of sheer frustration. Well, no, Pep would headlock Deco, who'd look woebegone, and then bitch to some tabloid later. Have you read Pep's post-match interview yet? FranceFootball has a more extended version than the English translations I've seen and it's wonderful. "I couldn't control myself. I'm like that. For me the penalty was clear. What got me so worked up was the yellow card shown to Messi."

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tall_tree April 9 2009, 23:50:16 UTC
Deco can't reach high enough to do a proper headlock. And Pep doesn't have enough hair for him to pull, so he's outmatched on every level. No I hadn't seen Pep's post-match! Oh, that is wonderful indeed, the language of passion, the French must've loved it. *swoons* He couldn't control himself. Yes, we all saw that Pep.

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guede_mazaka April 10 2009, 00:24:49 UTC
Pep's more likely to eat Deco than Ballack. And the worst thing is, Pep wouldn't even notice he ate Deco. He'd just accidentally suck the nutria into his mouth during one of the giant inhales he must need to power his ranting, and Deco would go unmissed for hours. Oh, the indignity.

re: the pep tag. i am laughing at you. even though i'm in a worse position, having written pep into all sorts of sordid situations.

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tall_tree April 10 2009, 00:52:54 UTC
Noooooo! Surely Messi could discreetly push Deco out of the way whenever Pep got that huffing look in his eyes? Oh, God, it's too easy to imagine Deco's squirming legs and indignant face as he got sucked into infinity.

*covers face* Go on, mock my pain. :p I'd made the post before I even realized what I was doing. Then I tried to see if I could get away with just a "Barcelona" tag, but that would be lying. I never thought this day would come, in my own LJ. I'm going to refuse to give him his last name in petty revenge though.

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stickmarionette April 11 2009, 06:20:37 UTC
Ahaha oh Pep. I'm halfway convinced that Deco and Pep would be a rerun of Deco and Mourinho, except with less twisted devotion and more disturbing D/s vibes. Because Pep brings those with him everywhere. :D

I love how repentant he was afterwards. And times like these speaking fluent English must actually be a bad thing - he should have sworn at them in Italian like he used to do to the Tercera Division match officials. *g*

Re: the tag - resistance is futile. You heard Xavi. Mwhahaha.

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tall_tree April 11 2009, 20:17:14 UTC
The outrage! The indignation! He was glorious. :D Good god, even MORE d/s vibes than Mourinho? Um. *is torn* I'm going to be quiet now before Is start incriminating myself worse than I have at Pep's handling of Sammy. :p

he should have sworn at them in Italian like he used to do to the Tercera Division match officials

Hee! Bad Pep! I'm sure they could tell from the flailing he was cursing, they just couldn't prove it.

*hangs head* I really thought I could escape though! I really did!

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stickmarionette April 20 2009, 12:51:05 UTC
Well, at least more obvious D/s vibes. With Mourinho, so much of it is psychological - like that amazing Lampard interview where he talks about what Jose said to him in the shower.

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tall_tree April 21 2009, 01:59:57 UTC
Oh, God. He so did that because he knows Frank is a narcissist. While they're bathing is the best time to compliment that type.

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