Crappy therapists?

[shinedownonme]

I have been seeing a therapist for three weeks now, and am feeling really frustrated with the process. I feel like my therapist does is wait for me to say something, while she just nods or occasionally asks questions or acknowledges what I say. As a therapist is it not a part of your job to make your client feel comfortable? To guide the sessions?

Comments

[brightenmyworld]

That's strange. I never personally went to therapists but maybe she's trying that thing in "Good Will Hunting," where she forces you to open yourself up just because you want to break the silence.

[shinedownonme]

Yeah maybe. I was wondering that myself. But personally I really hate that. If she wanted me to talk, she could use a much less awkward method and just ask me to talk by asking me general questions.

Thanks for the feedback.

[almostboi]

do you know what her training/background is?
My experience is different therapists have different ways of working depending on what methods they're trained in. Some work for some people and others work better with different ways of approaching things.
Maybe if you tell her the staring makes you feel uncomfortable and see how she responds to that?

[shinedownonme]

She is just an intern. That probably explains alot.

"My experience is different therapists have different ways of working depending on what methods they're trained in. Some work for some people and others work better with different ways of approaching things."

This is true. The so called "methods" that she uses defintely dont work for me, and I'm not going to bother trying to talk to her about it becuase she just isnt attuned to me at all, and Im not going to stick around just to see if she will or will not be able to help me.

Thanks for your feedback. :)

[snoopygirlmi]

I, too, had a therapist like this (for a couple of weeks) and I found a different one that seems to be a better fit for me. I'm hoping that she continues to work out.

Apparently, just talking works for some people. It doesn't for me, so that's why I found someone new to try. When I screened this latest therapist, I came with a bunch of questions to ask about her approach in sessions. So if I had to find someone new-again-I'd know and not waste my time on a second session. And the minute that she said "I give people feedback" I felt more comfortable working with her because if I wanted to just talk-I could talk to my cats for free. 8) So I have another appointment set up for next week.

I hope you find someone that you are comfortable with. Good Luck!

[shinedownonme]

Thanks for your feedback. It always helps to know others have experienced a similar thing. I realized afetr this incident that I should most defintely screen therapist next time I decide to see one. Its so simple yet it had never occured to me that I could have my own choice in it. Because the first, second, and third times I attempted therapy, I had seen people that I was referred to go see. I was stuck in that helpless mentality, not yet realizing that I am an adult and can make the empowered choice to choose my own therapist!

One of the first things I am going to find out during my screening is if they offer feedback.

"if I wanted to just talk-I could talk to my cats for free."

Lol! Good point! :) Except at least your cats will love you and not judge you or make you feel self concious. Sheesh!

Anyway, thanks again. Good luck to you too. :)

[daisyq]

I totally know the feeling.. but some therapy is client-centered and some aren't.. you need to find a style that fits you or choose to bend with the therapy

[shinedownonme]

Thanks alot for your feedback. Since this post I met up with the therapist for the last time to tell her everything that was on my mind. I chose not to go back to her because I dont think I should settle for a therapist who cant offer what i need. And I really dont feel like she has the ability to offer the warmth, empathy, and genuiness that a therapist should have, because she never offered any of that from the begining. I'm not going to waste my time trying to find out if she can be a better therapist to me.

But I will definitely take your advice to heart for the next time I decie to seek therapy. Next time I will select a therapist on my own and screen them over the phone to see if they are more client centered and offer the type of treatment I'm looking for.

The thing is I feel so discouraged to look for a new one. Its such an uncomfortable process and I dont feel motivated to go through it again. Hopefully sometimes down the line i'll find the drive to go back.

Thanks again for your help, and good luck to you. :)

[hypatia360]

Hey don't get discouraged

[daisyq]

Thanks for all your helpful feedback. I have read a little about cognitive behavioral therapy, and I agree that it is something I would really prefer to try. Its good to know that this is now a popular model of care. Its also really good to know that I should stay away from psycho-dynamic or psycho-analysis approaches. Thank you for these tips!

Thanks for your support, encouragment, and validation of my experience. :)

[user5304792]

One thing that I feel is worth mentioning is that I think a lot of psych people tend to be rather shy, or introverted, or rather socially inept.

The reason I say this is simply because here on livejournal, I vist to lot of shyness, social anxiety, and introversion groups as well as depression groups and a very surprisingly large amount of the people there tend to be psychology majors.

Now, there's no telling how many of them actually have/will go out to be therapists but, I dunno.

Just some food for thought.

[wisdom_war]

I think that, odds are, if you looked at the number of shy, introverted or "socially inept" (term that I absolutely do not approve of) people who make up other types of livejournal communities, you might find as many as in the said types of communities. The statistical view point of the observation you proposed, though interesting, and maybe accurate on some level (who knows), is skewed in my opinion

[user5304792]

I don't believe them to be generally more shy either.

I dunno, I just thought it was strange.
Therapist isn't a profession I would have ever associated with shyness or poor social skills.

But that's what it sounds like in this case.
It seems as though the therapist is really at a loss for words.

I mean, just staring at each other in silence for any length of time is usually an uncomfortable experience for most people and a therapist should be able to easily realize that this situation is not comforting and do something to break the ice.

It could be other things though.
The therapist may simply believe that simply having somebody to talk to that listens to you is all that's needed to get better.

Again, I just don't know.
But psych majors are pretty prevalent in social anxiety communities and just given that, it would be no surprise to me if the therapist in question was just shy and/or had poor social skills.

[wisdom_war]

Sometimes there can be a lot more to the act of remaining silent though..

Sometimes what someone chooses to address can be reveiling.. almost as much as what the person chooses to avoid addressing.

I will agree that silence can be daunting for many people, but it can also be quite powerful and insightful.

My two cents!