Brilliant approach this:

[underlankers]

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/nov/16/france-nationwide-state-of-emergencyRead more... )

Comments

[mahnmut]

a bloated and inefficient security apparatus barely able to find its ass with a neon-lit map and a big-ass arrow

How about a styrofoam finger?

[underlankers]

Given it's the USA? The styrofoam is probably diamond and it was labeled styrofoam in exchange for greasing palms. ;)