Classic Think About It: Raiders of the Lost Art
Originally Presented on July 27, 2002
It may have taken three weeks, friends, but it was a story worth telling. It is the story of three adventurous geek spirits on a quest for comics, autographs, artwork and a great pizza. It’s the three geeks at the Wizard World Chicago comic convention, and it ends today.
JULY 7, 2002
• 8:06 a.m. While I have not exactly been hesitant in my purchases thus far, I intend to make out like a bandit on this last day of the con. The dealers will be slashing their prices so they won’t have to lug as much merchandise home. I am happy to oblige.
• 12:32 p.m. A guy working for Marvel Comics starts handing out free Snapple and Mountain Dew to the people waiting for Editor-In-Chief Joe Quesada’s autograph. It’s good to know someone cares.
• 12:55 p.m. I decide I’d like to get a nice shirt - a Superman baseball or hockey jersey, maybe. I am saddened to learn there is absolutely nothing in my size. Every comic fan on TV is portrayed as the fattest slob possible! They’re missing an enormous customer base.
• 1:00 p.m. I give up. My Uncle Joe gave me a box of comics to get autographed for him, including about a dozen books by Joe Michael Linsner. I’ve procured many autographs for him, but after three days of searching I still can’t find Linsner’s booth. I know he’s at the convention because I’ve heard them make announcements about him appearing on panels, but his booth is never there when I look for it. It’s like Brigadoon.
• 5:22 p.m. The convention is over. Back in our room we discover that is has not been cleaned yet. When housekeeping finally shows up we just ask her to empty the trash and leave fresh towels. Anything further would require us to move and, frankly, that’s not an option we are prepared to take at this point.
JULY 8, 2002
• 7:20 a.m. We begin the arduous process of packing. The only thing I hate more than packing, I determine, is attempting to pack more than I brought with me into the same amount of space.
• 9:28 a.m. We’re finally back on the road, but nobody is willing to wager on whether we’re going in the right direction. Demonstrating how bad the signs are, we finally determine that we need to take the 290 East exit with signs indicating the west suburbs in order to go south.
• 10:25 a.m. We stop for breakfast. Mike, in a fit of extreme paranoia, checks the trunk to make sure he put the pieces of original art we bought in there. It turns out he is not that paranoid after all. The last anyone remembers seeing the art was on top of the car in the garage. Mike stops breathing and I grab my cell phone and call the hotel.
• 10:35 a.m. The garage manager is going to look for the art and call me back. We sit down and order. Mike is turning purple.
• 10:40 a.m. My orange juice is too warm. Mike’s brains are leaking from his ears.
• 10:44 a.m. The Hyatt calls me back. They’ve found the art and they’re going to UPS it to me. Mike begins higher respiratory function again and suddenly the orange juice is all the sweeter.
• 3:20 p.m. In St. Louis we hit the third construction site of the day. We’re never going to get home at this rate. I unbutton my shirt, revealing the Superman T-shirt beneath.
• 4:19 p.m. Superman didn’t help. We’re finally out of the traffic.
• 6:00 p.m. We’ve run into two more construction sites. The entire state of Missouri is under construction today.
• 2:00 a.m. We finally arrive home, wiped out, exhausted… and overall, pretty satisfied.
BY THE NUMBERS:
• Comics Mike bought: 23
• Trade paperbacks Mike bought: 0
• Comics James bought: 1
• Trade paperbacks James bought: 1
• Comics Blake bought: 68
• Trade paperbacks Blake bought: 5
• Approximate dimensions of the statue Mike bought: 2 feet by 1½ feet by 1½ feet
• Approximate dimensions of the uncut card sheet Mike bought: 2½ feet by 3½ feet
• Times Blake threatened to strap Mike to the roof so they can fit everything in the car: 2
• Times Blake said “We ride with the desert wind” or some variation thereof: 117
• Times Mike threatened to kill him afterwards: 116
• Times James and Blake had to say, “Dude, calm down” after Mike thought he lost the Supergirl artwork: 17
• Miles driven: 2049.6.
• Geeks ready to do the whole thing again next summer: 3
Blake M. Petit got the artwork in the mail a few days later. It’s still pretty. Contact him with comments, suggestions or a good framing company at BlakePT@cox.net.