Christmas Party: Christmas Music Gets Twisted
Today’s column is brought to you by the Think About It Central “Things I Never Thought I’d Write, At Least Not In Public” Department.
So have you guys heard the new Twisted Sister Christmas album? It’s actually pretty good.
As you guys know, I love Christmas, and it would be hard to love Christmas without having a particular love of Christmas music. I’ve got an iTunes Christmas playlist consisting of (at the moment) 741 separate audio tracks, including everything from the Trans-Siberian Orchestra and the Vienna Boys Choir to Christmas With the Smurfs and audio clips from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. And I’m always looking for new Christmas music as well, which has presented itself as something of a problem.
I realized a few weeks ago why it is that I’ve got trouble finding Christmas music to add to my collection. The problem is, in case you haven’t heard, I’ve already got 741 separate Christmas-themed audio tracks to listen to. It’s virtually impossible to find something new. Oh sure, there are tons of singers and bands who put out Christmas albums every year, but the vast majority of those tracks are just the singer or band doing their own twist on traditionals, and let’s face it, once you’ve heard Chicago’s version of “Jolly Old Saint Nicholas,” nobody else’s will quite measure up. I’ve got four different versions of “Deck the Halls,” seven versions of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen,” nine covers of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” ten renditions of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” twelve different “Jingle Bells,” and three different versions of one of my personal favorites, “Snoopy’s Christmas.” You do not want to know how many performances, variants and parodies of “The 12 Days of Christmas” I could supply you with, but I’ll tell you that just some of the performers in that group are Allan Sherman, Jeff Foxworthy, the Reduced Shakespeare Company, Benny Grunch and the Bunch, Bob and Doug McKenzie, Bob Rivers, John Denver, Kermit the Frog and, the aforementioned Twisted Sister and the Smurfs. (Not together. Although now that I think about it, I wouldn’t be too surprised to find that they’ve done a duet.)
On those occasions an artist puts forth a new song, then it’s got to measure up enough for me to deem it worthy to add. Sometimes a parody will be enough, like Benny Grunch’s “The 12 Yats of Christmas” (which those of you who don’t live in Louisiana won’t have heard of, but take it from me, it’s a classic) or the kids from South Park putting their twist on “I Saw Three Ships.” And sometimes, I’ll be enough of a fan of a specific musician to add them to the list even if they aren’t, strictly speaking, doing anything new. A couple of years ago the Barenaked Ladies put out Barenaked For the Holidays, which was a great album. That was a nice little mix of traditionals like “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” and “Carol of the Bells,” parodies like “Deck the Stills,” and new songs like “Christmas Pics” and the fantastic “Elf’s Lament” (with Michael Bublé).
This year, I’ve found a lot of albums that I’ve added to my collection, but even so, I never expected to see Twisted Sister show up on my Christmas playlist. A few nights ago, while trying to drift off to sleep, they appeared on the Tonight Show. Let me tell you, friends, for a minute there I thought it was a combination of the pain killers I’m on for my back and the fact that I was half-asleep, but when I saw a guy with pink hair and hair band makeup rocking out to “Oh Come, All Ye Faithful,” I had to follow up on it. I wound up downloading the Twisted Sister album (legally, mind you, part of a free trial for a music service I find I’m enjoying quite a bit but that I won’t mention by name here because, hey, they aren’t paying for any advertising space) and giving it a listen. It’s surprisingly good. Basically, they took classic songs and rocked out on ‘em. It’s incredibly surreal to see someone who looks like he should be biting the heads off chicken screaming, “Oh come let us adore him! Christ! THE! LOOOOOOORD!” But it’s entertaining for what it is.
I’ve found a lot of new music I like this year, and most of it has been a surprise. There’s Bah, Humduck! For instance. Warner Brothers has put out a direct-to-video Looney Tunes Christmas movie, which I have not yet watched. I love the Looney Tunes more than many men (and here I am specifically thinking of William Jefferson Clinton) love their wives, but I’m really worried the movie will… well… suck. But even if the movie does stink, the soundtrack album is actually really good. Performed by Gordon Goodwin’s Big Phat Band, Bah, Humduck! is a really wonderful mix of a classic Looney Tunes score with Christmas tunes. This is the sort of stuff Carl Stalling was composing for Chuck Jones and Bob Clampett back in the Golden Days of Animation, blended together with Christmas traditionals and performed by a really swingin’ jazz band. I fear I may never attempt the movie, but the soundtrack is already in heavy rotation.
Fans of The Nightmare Before Christmas got a Christmas present this year as well. Disney re-released the soundtrack album in a spiffy new two-disc set. The first disc is the original film soundtrack, composed by Danny Elfman, with vocals by Elfman and the rest of the cast. The second disc has covers of the songs from the film by rockers like Marylin Manson, Fiona Apple and Fall Out Boy. I’m not really a big fan of any of these musicians, but I’ve gotta admit, most of them do a good job. Manson’s cover of “This is Halloween” and Fall Out Boy’s “What’s This?” are spot-on, and only She Wants Revenge’s version of “Kidnap the Sandy Claws” falls short. There are also several demo tracks on this disc - early recordings by Danny Elfman, which make the CD pretty worthwhile.
Finally, I’ve got to talk about Leigh Nash’s “Wishing For This.” My lord, I love this woman’s voice. Nash lends her sultry, smoky tones to a plethora of songs on this album, including a duet with Gabe Dixon of “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” a cover of Dolly Parton’s “Hard Candy Christmas,” traditionals like “O Holy Night” and the new title track, “Wishing For This.” Nash, formerly with the group Sixpence None the Richer, has the absolute perfect voice for this sort of warm, holiday music. If you want to hear it, though, don’t head to the store. In what seems to be a portent of the direction the music industry is going, the CD has not been released to stores, but instead is only being sold on the internet via digital download. (Check out whatever sites you buy your music from to see if they have it - most of them do.)
And for one more quick download, head to the site for the TV show Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. On last week's Christmas episode, the show-within-a-show featured a jazz band from New Orleans playing perhaps the single most beautiful instrumental version of "O Holy Night" I have ever heard. People have been so excited about the music (many contacting NBC to ask where they can buy the CD for a band that doesn't really exist) that NBC is re-running the episode this Monday and offering the music as a free download on their website. Even if you've never watched the show -- even if you've watched the show and hate the show, if you love Christmas music and jazz, you have got to listen to this track.
No matter what the venue, though, Christmas music seems to be alive and well, with new tunes and old favorites still coming our way some 2000 years after this whole thing started. And I, for one, couldn’t be happier about it.
Blake M. Petit still can't believe he's listening to Twisted Sister. Contact him with comments or suggestions at BlakePT@cox.net or visit the Evertime Livejournal,
blakemp .