It’s my choice: Why I believe in Sam Winchester
This post is a SAM META OF DOOM. However, I LOVE THEM BOTH. There will be no complaining in this post about inconsequential idiosyncrasies like airtime, and I will never use the word ‘emo’. This is not about who you choose. This is about understanding one half of a whole.
Right around 2700 words. *face palm*
Spoilers for all aired episodes.
But this post is for Sam. School, she is open. COME AND LEARN.
I am completely unspoiled for the rest of the season, including promos. Please keep all spoilery comments out of my journal. Anon comments are welcome but will be screened, to be unscreened at my discretion. Thank you.
From the collective minds of blacklid and tahirire , with added bonus musings of many an eyecon discussion, I bring to you …
It’s my choice: Why I believe in Sam Winchester
“Listen to me - you’ve got this dark pit inside of you, believe me, I know. But that doesn’t mean you have to fall into it. You don’t have to be a monster. It doesn’t matter what you are - it only matters what you do”. Sam Winchester, Metamorphosis.
Not too long ago, I asked my flist a question.
“If you make your own choices, but the choice you make is because you feel like you have no other choice than to make the choice you made, is it still free will, or is that what we call destiny?”
Before Dean died and went to Hell, Sam had a choice to make. He could have listened to Ruby and saved his brother against his wishes, but he chose to honor Dean’s request. Maybe he truly thought he’d be able to reverse it, maybe he truly thought that together they could beat Lilith, maybe he believed in Dean that much, but whatever the reason, he chose Dean.
And Dean was ripped away from him. Screaming. Bloody. For eternity.
impulsiveanswer has an excellent meta regarding John’s enduring influence on the boys. She mentions Sam as now being John 2.0 and discusses the fact that Sam losing Dean is equal to John losing Mary, and in lieu of trying to re-word it, I’ll link it here, because not only is it excellent, it is 100 percent the truth.
Flash forward about 5 months. Sam has put away his powers and except in dire need. He’s watched his brother go from infallible to vulnerable beyond anything Sam has ever imagined. He’s seen the monsters that are fighting, even STILL, for his brother’s soul. He carries the knowledge that everything Dean suffered and is still suffering is for his sake, something he never would have wanted.
He would have torn the world apart the first time to save Dean, if he’d known how. Now he has the strength to stand where Dean can’t, the power to fight what even the angels have no control over. Now he has - is - the weapon that can bring Hell to its knees.
“I know what you did to that demon, Sam. I can feel what’s inside of you. If you think you have good intentions, think again.” Pamela Barnes, Death Takes a Holiday.
Here’s the thing. When Pam told Sam to think again? He did.
So again, I ask you.
“If you make your own choices, but the choice you make is because you feel like you have no other choice than to make the choice you made, is it still free will, or is that what we call destiny?”
Sam chose the only path available to him. Now, sure, he could have rejected the power. But he did that the last time, didn’t he? So he’s already tried that path, and it had disastrous consequences. Any choice involving putting down the power means losing Dean again.
When your only other choice is anathema to you, is it still a choice at all?
And so Sam chooses power. To pick bloody over sad. To sacrifice himself to the dark if that’s what it takes so that Dean will never have to fight again.
On the Dark side.
Think about that word, Dark side. Show seems random and zany at times, but they are trying to tell us something ALL the time, if we just pay attention.
Define ‘going to the dark side’. Power is power. Power has no affiliation, no matter what the source. Luke uses the Force as a servant of the Light OR the Dark. The key is INTENT.
Anger, fear, revenge. The doors to the darker path. Murder, hatred, lust. GREED.
“The learning curve is so fast, it’s crazy the switches that flip in your brain - I can’t believe I started out just having dreams.” Ava, All Hell Breaks Loose Part 1
Azazel’s special kids are the key here. They are all tainted the same way. They all chose to use their power for themselves, and they all turned. All but one.
“But you still live in a van. I don’t get it - you could have everything you’ve ever wanted.”
“But … I got everything I need.” Sam and Andy, Simon Says
It’s all about INTENT, people. Magic, blood or otherwise - the rules are age-old, and everyone knows them. No personal gain. Andy practiced his powers for amusement. He never used them to get anything for himself. Gaining access to further powers was hard for him, sometimes even painful. Seem familiar?
Now, I’m not saying Sam or Andy never used their powers because they wanted to, but ultimately, it was because they were trying to save or protect someone they loved. Jake, Ava and the others turned once they used their powers to save themselves.
As long as it is more sacrifice than gain … I think we are ok. (Oh hai Harry Potter. *glee*)
On Ruby and Why You Should Think Twice Before Hating Her
Ruby has an agenda, yes. Ruby gives satisfied smirks sometimes, yes. But we still don't know if she's a bad guy, people. She sold her soul for witchcraft and she's a demon now - but think about this - have we ever seen Ruby use an active demon power? She casts spells and pops in and out every now and then - but has she EVER fought a fight except hand-to-hand? And what does it mean that she prefers to use the knife instead? Could it be that she denies her demonic nature as much as her circumstances allow? Just something to think about.
“You can’t just flip a switch. We needed time.” Ruby, No rest for the Wicked.
(Ruby was not lying that he could be strong enough in 30 hours. Now we know how they would have done it.)
See some inconsistency there? Look again. Let’s discuss. Evil dark side kids flip switches. Good kids with powers - like Sam and Andy, do not. Something inside them refuses to ‘give in’. They need help to grow.
Ruby has her own agenda, yes. But guess what. It is her supplementation that is keeping Sam, SAM. She gives him access to the power from an outside source. It keeps him from needing to unleash the bomb inside. Does he NEED her power? No. Is it BETTER for him? Yes.
Now, Sam may be, in fact, physically addicted to Ruby’s blood. And that is Bad Stuff, yes. But as far as his soul? That is neither here nor there at the moment. *fantasizes about super epic H/C where, after all the Bad Guys are dead, Dean has to help Sam through demon blood Detox.*
Because Sam IS still Sam. A hyped-up super-powered badass Sam, but still SAM.
Don’t think so?
On Soul Corruption
“So let’s be clear. You wanna … rip your souls out of your bodies, and take a little stroll through the spirit world?” Pamela, Death Takes A Holiday.
Sam’s powers are evil, right? Sam’s powers are corrupting him, y/y?
Wrong.
“Why don’t you try some of your mojo on me now, hot shot? It’s hard to get it up when you aren’t wearing your meat.” Alistair, Death Takes A Holiday.
Sam’s power is completely grounded in his physical body. *takes time off from meta to wish for a body swap episode where Dean has powers, because c’mon, that’d be AWESOME.* So, if the power can’t touch Sam’s soul, then the POWER - no matter where he gets it from - is NEUTRAL.
It’s a weapon he can use at his discretion, which all comes back again to INTENT.
SO -
Intent + A or B = C, if A is Good and B is Evil, and C is where your Soul ends up.
See? IT’S SAM’S CHOICE.
There is other stuff in this post about Sam being foreshadowed as a neutral force, but I’m too lazy to retype it.
So, the main thing Sam is up against is his own strength of will to do what is right VS the hunger for more power. Sayings like ‘absolute power corrupts absolutely’ don’t just come from nowhere.
On the personality shift, wherein Sam shows up and says stuff. No, he really does.
“Get in there and heal him. Miracle. NOW.” Sam, On the Head of a Pin
Fandom: But what about this whole new attitude?
Tahirire: I’m sorry, I don’t understand.
Fandom: Sam! He thinks Dean is weak! He doesn’t care about him anymore! All he wants is Lilith and to screw demon chicks and drink their blood and be evil!
Tahirire: Sam is not evil, we just talked about this.
Fandom: But DEEEEEEEEAN!
Tahirire: Sam is doing this FOR Dean. He always was. It’s his turn to take care of Dean for a change.
Fandom: But he’s so COLD!
Tahirire: Really?
Fandom: YES!
Tahirire: Are you sure?
Fandom: YES, WOMAN! THE SAMMY WE KNOW AND LOVE IS GONE.
Tahirire: Ok, here. We’ll do it this way. Hey, Sam?
Sam: “Yeah?”
Tahirire: Tell them what you’d wish for.
Sam: “Lilith’s head on a plate. Bloody.”
Tahirire: And why is that?
Sam: “Because. Apocalypse, and all. Stuff.”
Tahirire: Sam, come on, they’re trying to understand you better.
Sam: “Fine. She still owns Dean, ok? He’s a fugitive, and if she ever - and I’m not gonna lose him again. I’m NOT.”
Tahirire: Alright, that’s fine. Now, people are saying that you haven’t been … connecting with Dean the way you -
Sam: “He wouldn’t talk to me.”
Tahirire: What?
Sam: “He wouldn’t - he tells me things, you know? But he doesn’t want to hear anything back. And I can’t be what he … but I can protect him. And I will.”
Tahirire: So ….
Sam: “He’s tired, you know? And he can’t, it’s too much. It’s too much for anybody, and I just need him to let me. I can, you know? I have what it takes to fight. That’s what he told me, keep fighting. Remember?”
Tahirire: Yeah. I remember.
Sam: “I just want to end this.”
Tahirire: *nods*
And that brings us to this week. Even in the AU world, Sam wanted Dean. Sam accepted his destiny and embraced it, but he was clinging to the most basic truth - that they are supposed to be together.
“I KNOW you.” Sam, It’s a Horrible Life
On Dean’s role
Dean, on the other hand, has gone through an even more thorough transformation. If we think of Sam as the weapon, and Dean as the shield ( Thank you, moodswingers ), then let’s look at it like this.
Dean (the shield) has been re-forged - literally in the fires of HELL.
Forge - 1 a:to form (as metal) by heating and hammering b:to form (metal) by a mechanical or hydraulic press with or without heat.
When forging a weapon - or a shield - depending on the make of the metal, one of two things can happen. It can, A) become stronger, or B) Become brittle.
DEAN is the driving force behind Sam’s intent.
Basically, Dean is the reason Sam has good intentions. Dean is shielding Sam from making those dark side choices - because as long as Sam is doing what he’s doing for Dean, to protect him, and not for revenge or bloodlust, then Sam is still SAM.
Oh. So That’s Why All the Lying.
Sam knows that if he ever lost Dean again, he’d lose his anchor, his shield. Even when directly confronted with his lies, Sam refuses to yield. Why? Because if Dean knew the truth, Dean would leave him.
But Dean would never leave Sam!!
Really?
NO!
Are you sure about that?
Yes, woman! SAM is the one that always leaves!!
“Do you have any idea how far off the reservation you’ve gone? How far from normal? From human? If I didn’t know you - I would wanna hunt you.” Dean, Metamorphosis.
For a small amount of time Dean was, if not happy, at least a little more comfortable about Sam’s powers. HOWEVER.
“I’m sorry, man, it’s just … your psychic thing … it scares the crap out of me.” Dean, Metamorphosis.
Dean has not witnessed Sam’s exponential increase. He hasn’t seen Sam pin a human body to a wall or kill, he hasn’t seen Sam’s eyes turn black - he doesn’t know what Sam is really doing with Ruby.
When he does find out, (and he will) he’s going to flip. His. Shit. Justifiably. Think about it - Dean’s been in Hell longer than he was alive. He’s fought demons his whole life, and now his brother is doing the same things that his enemies can do. Anyone would freak. But just all of that is not enough to crack the shield. No matter how lost Dean feels Sam is, he still has deep loyalty. Something has to be the final straw.
I predict that the final straw will be fire.
Judging from the speed of Sam’s increase in power, and realizing that Sam’s given talents began with Azazel, pyrokinesis seems the natural progression of things. However, there are other reasons to think so.
I started calling it back after Yellow Fever, then considered it confirmed after the Halloween ep, which was the first time I think we saw Sam use T.K.
Check this out -
“All of the psychic kids friends/lovers/family seem to have been threatened or killed by the same type power that they HAVE. Andy's girlfriend was threatened by mind control. Ava's fiancé was torn apart by a demon, and Ava tears people apart by using demons. Lilly's power killed her girlfriend. Sam's entire family has burned. John and Dean in Hell, Mary and Jess on Earth. So, if Sam follows pattern, he will develop pyrokinesis.”
Now. If Dean ever saw Sam burn something? Like … on a ceiling maybe? He’d be DONE.
The rift is already beginning to form. Ruby is inserting herself where Dean isn’t there for Sam, making herself indispensable. Dean gets no straight answers from the Angels regarding what, exactly, it is he is destined to do. He already feels like Sam doesn’t want him anymore.
But fire? Sam looking more like the demon that killed mom than like Dean’s little brother? That will be too much.
“She’s scared of me now.” Andy, Simon Says.
Andy used his power on his loved one to save her life, and in doing so, he lost her. This is foreshadowing for Sam.
This week’s episode remind anyone else of Asylum? What comes after Asylum… Ah yes, Scarecrow. And what happened in Scarecrow?
That’s right kids. Brace yourselves.
But but … SAM is the one who always leaves!
Season four is amazing, isn’t it? Don’t you just love role reversal? *smiles sweetly*
So what happens when the shield falls?
Then you have what’s left at the core. It all comes down to this - do you trust Sam to stand on his own?
I, for one, believe in Sam Winchester. If the season ends with Sam on one hill and Dean on another hill, then I will be on Sam’s hill, because no matter how dark it gets, he will still be SAM at the core of it all. And I trust him.
“I can’t do it, Cas, I’m not strong enough. It’s not me. Find someone else.” Dean, On the Head of a Pin.
Now, Dean isn’t quite there yet. But he will be. Over and over, it is stressed that Dean is different, special, righteous. Every Chosen One called by God in the Bible said the exact same thing as Dean.
But once he realizes - (Because I also believe in Dean, dammit.) Once he sees that Sam is still Sam and he needs Dean more than ever before, if (WHEN) he decides to stand by Sam and BELIEVE in him, then together they will be INVINCIBLE.
“These powers … it’s like playing with fire.” Sam Winchester, Metamorphosis.
BRING IT ON, BABY. BURN IT ALL DOWN.
;-)
ETA: Because I can - here's a psych lesson for you guys.
You know how any study tutor or English teacher will tell you that the most important info in a story goes at the start, finish, and middle, because THAT'S WHAT YOU REMEMBER MOST? Well. Think back several eps. Hell, think back most of the season. Show has been cutting Sam from starts and finishes. Using him as parts 2 and 4 of a 5 part frame.
Guys? SHOW DID NOT FORGET ABOUT SAM. This is on PURPOSE. They are sneaking him along under the radar for a REASON. Soon, he will pop out and say "Oh Hai," and fandom? Y'all are going to FLIP. THE FUCK. OUT.
*leans back to enjoy the ride*
Thoughtful discussion and encouraging notes to SamnDean are welcome in the comments. Thanks for reading!