"I trust my girlfriend. I just don't trust other guys."

[tacit]

It's a comment I see scattered far and wide across the Internetverse. In almost any conversation where some guy is complaining about his wife or girlfriend having male friends, inevitably someone else will ask, "don't you trust her?" And inevitably, as sure as night follows day, he will say "Oh, I trust her, I just don't trust other guys

Comments

[fin9901]

And if you assume as a given that other men who take an interest in your girlfriend will ignore her 'no' and just rape her, there's a bigger problem than her fidelity. Perhaps it's time to stand up, you know? And I don't mean stand up to control your girlfriend. I mean stand up against the notion that it is in any way, shape, or form acceptable to assume that other men will not listen to her 'no' and there's anything normal about that...because there isn't.
I can't agree with this

[tacit]

Sure, there are men in the world who are rapists. I doubt that's really what drives the "I trust you, I don't trust other men" line, though.

Your disagreement.

[scyllacat]

The number of men who are willing to coerce women into doing something they don't want as long as you don't call it rape is much, much higher. But I don't think that's what we're talking about, somehow.

[serina_ds]

You might want to consider this thought:

Like 'rape prevention tips' that are aimed at changing women's behaviours, saying "I will control the movements and restrict the agency of my girlfriend to prevent her being raped"
rather than "I will stand against rape and make it clear that it's unacceptable"
is effectively the same as saying "I hope some other woman gets raped instead, one who isn't important to me."

I can't agree with that.

Plus, it doesn't really work - rapists tend to be people who are well known and trusted, not strangers.

[anonymous]

My girlfriend just went off to college, she seems to make friends with guys fairly easily and doesnt seem to know when they are flirting with her. I can easily say for sure that they are indeed flirting with her, through stories she tells me, and does nothing about it or continues the conversation as tho they arnt trying to get with her in their head. I dont like how she handles these situations like that but I also believe it is not my right to tell her what to do. I trust her but I dont like how she unknowingly continues the flirting. Should I suck it up, or is there an alternative option I'm missing?

My Girlfriend

[anonymous]

My Girlfriend uses this line on me a lot, which is why I'm here in the first place

I trust you I just dont trust them

[anonymous]

I use this line for the simple fact that my girlfriend has had guys who have forced themselves on her physically , grope or otherwise try anything they want on her

I agree

[anonymous]

I have been on the side where a girl has left me for another guy twice. But I solely believe in what this article entails and I feel the ideology should be reciprocated. I trust my girl, despite my past relationships, I trust her to hang with her friends (guys or girls) her family or any social event in which I’m present or not present. I always remind her that, she is given this freedom, once she cheats or does something in the means of being unfaithful, I am done with her. I know my worth and I know that if she decides to cheat or play around, she is not worth my time. And also that if I do give her that amount of trust, I expect the same, regardless of her inability to do so, because it’s unfair that I give this trust to live her life, but I can’t do the same because she has trust issues from her past? No. I am emotionally mature and people just need to grow up if they have the mindset stated in this article. Good post.

RE: I agree

[anonymous]

Well said