Personal Post: The Past

[tabloidscully]

Comments

[aliki]

This was such a painful and beautiful and poignant post.

I am sorry for the pain your parents put you through. I know you will be nothing like that with Sephie.

I don't get using your size to abuse another, whether it's against a child or a pet or someone of lesser size.

[tabloidscully]

Thanks for commenting. I never write what I do here for anybody but me, yet there is something in receiving feedback that these entries are being read that is very validating. Kind of what I need after splattering my emotional guts out there.

I don't understand it, either. Back then, I honestly believed it was my fault--something wrong with me. If I were just smarter or prettier or thinner or not so socially awkward, they would love me and we could be a happy family. Yet I also knew all along something was askew, because why else would I be telling teachers and friends about what was happening? It certainly wasn't because I believed it was normal.

When it comes down to it, my mother is just a bully. An angry, embittered, narcissistic bully. And in those days, my father wasn't much better. But unlike my mom, my father is capable of having remorse, and if he wasn't, I'm not sure I'd know how to be any kind of parent to Sephie.

Thanks for the comment.

[heartem]

if I could have any super power in the whole world it would be to take away hurt of all kinds. I wish there was really something I could do more for you, especially since you've done so much for me. I know these thoughts must be wicked hard to decompress and deal with. Heck, I know exactly where you're coming from, just a different form. Just know that I am here for you no matter what. I heart you

[tabloidscully]

I heart you, too. Thanks, lady! You've done more for me than you'll ever know.

And I am digging the new icon. Atticus looks hilarious.