The World Keeps Spinning - Chapter 2
Title: The World Keeps Spinning
Rating: T (at the moment)
Pairing: Huddy
Summary: Cuddy just wants his sperm, really. House likes the sex, but likes Lisa even more. Now he's going to be a father, whether he likes it or not! AU
Disclaimer: I don't own. *cries*
Link to Chapter 1: http://tabbysnape.livejournal.com/1611.html
Chapter 2
House's apartment was even more of a mess than usual. Half full cardboard boxes littered every surface, together with the usual array of discarded clothing, magazines and take-away containers. When Wilson let himself in, House was haphazardly emptying a shelf into a box below.
“My God, House! You've been evicted?!”
“No,” House replied, hiding his emotions behind a mask of nonchalance, “I'm moving.”
“Um... Well, if that makes you happy.”
House grunted in reply, and continued chucking random objects into boxes.
“Where are you going to go?”
“India.”
“What?!”
“You heard me.”
“Why the hell are you going to India?!”
“Now Jimmy, stop being such a gossipy old woman.”
“I'm serious, House. What the hell is going on?"
"Are you saying you've never wanted to live in Mumbai?"
"... Well, no. Not really."
"That's your problem then."
"..."
"Just think, Indian takeaway from India!"
"Cuddy fired you, at last?"
"Jimmy, you moron. Cuddy'll never fire me. She wants to get in my pants."
"You're escaping the law?"
"You wound me, Jimmy. Do I really strike you as the type to do anything illegal?"
"Do you really want me to answer that?"
House just snorted in reply.
"How about you give me a straight answer for once. What are you running away from?"
"I'm not running away!"
"Well, explain it to me then! I left my mind-reading goggles at home today.
"Cuddy's pregnant."
"Wow! Ok. And the thought of Cuddy reproducing is so terrifying that you need to flee the country?"
House rolled his eyes.
"My sperm were involved."
"Oh my God! You had sex with Cuddy?!"
"That's generally how it works."
"... And neither of you could work out how to use a condom? That's a bit sad, actually."
"Using a condom would have defeated the whole purpose. How was Cuddy supposed to get any of my sperm that way?"
"You got Cuddy pregnant on purpose?"
"Like DUH! She's only wanted a kid since, like, forever!"
"And now you're running away?"
"Fuck off, Wilson."
"... because babies are oh-so-scary! Watch out! It's going to drool on you!"
"Do you have any actual reason for being here?"
"Not as such. But, my God! You slept with Cuddy! And you didn't tell me!"
"Yes! Yes, I thought we'd already established that."
"Then why the hell are you running away?!"
House stared appraisingly at Wilson for a second.
"I don't want to have a kid who only knows me only as 'the-weirdo-who-works-for-mommy'. Cuddy doesn't want me to be the kid's father. The kid won't either, for that matter. Trust me, it's better never to have had a father than to have one like me."
"...Wow. That actually almost made sense."
"Fuck off, Wilson."
Fortunately, two decades as House's friend had taught Wilson to ignore this type of comment.
"Running away won't make you happy."
"You don't know that."
"Do you think it will make you happy?"
"No."
"Well, stay then!"
"Excuse me if I don't want to have to watch my kid and Cuddy being the perfect family together!"
"You actually want the kid?"
"You can't always get what you want."
"But if you try.."
"Shut up."
"Look, House. I can see the problem, but you're missing the obvious solution!"
"Yeah?"
"Well, the reason you would make a crap father is because you still haven't grown up. You still act like a ten-year-old with no sense of responsibility. A ten-year-old would be useless as a father, but wait until they're adults and most turn out ok."
"You want me to change? People don't change."
"Of course they do! If people didn't change we would all still be wearing diapers. Hell, we'd all still be living in trees."
House couldn't come up with an appropriately witty come-back for this, so merely poked out his tongue.
"Here's how I see it. It's completely obvious that you like Cuddy. Don't even try to deny it."
House didn't deny it.
"...and it's obvious she likes you too."
"No, she doesn't."
"She slept with you!"
"Only because she wanted a baby!"
"This is Cuddy we're talking about. She chose you to procreate with, rather than anyone else or any anonymous sperm donors."
"She wants the baby to have my ravishing good looks."
"Face it, she likes you."
"She's ignored me since she conceived."
"I'm not really surprised. Cuddy has a bad habit of thinking too carefully about things. She's distancing herself because she thinks it's best for the child."
"Thanks," House replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Hey, I'm not saying she's right!"
"She is."
"What makes you so sure that you couldn't be a good father?"
"You're even more of an idiot than I thought! You can't see the problem?"
"Just tell me your reasons."
"What? Apart from being an 'immature', drug-addicted, alcoholic cripple with serious personality issues, 'no sense of responsibility’, no experience with kids, and the fact that the mother would probably file a restraining order if I go near it? If you want I can write you out a list."
"That's a good idea, actually. Write a list of the things you think would make you a bad father, then you can focus on fixing them."
"You're nuts."
"What have you got to lose?"
Rating: T (at the moment)
Pairing: Huddy
Summary: Cuddy just wants his sperm, really. House likes the sex, but likes Lisa even more. Now he's going to be a father, whether he likes it or not! AU
Disclaimer: I don't own. *cries*
Link to Chapter 1: http://tabbysnape.livejournal.com/1611.html
Chapter 2
House's apartment was even more of a mess than usual. Half full cardboard boxes littered every surface, together with the usual array of discarded clothing, magazines and take-away containers. When Wilson let himself in, House was haphazardly emptying a shelf into a box below.
“My God, House! You've been evicted?!”
“No,” House replied, hiding his emotions behind a mask of nonchalance, “I'm moving.”
“Um... Well, if that makes you happy.”
House grunted in reply, and continued chucking random objects into boxes.
“Where are you going to go?”
“India.”
“What?!”
“You heard me.”
“Why the hell are you going to India?!”
“Now Jimmy, stop being such a gossipy old woman.”
“I'm serious, House. What the hell is going on?"
"Are you saying you've never wanted to live in Mumbai?"
"... Well, no. Not really."
"That's your problem then."
"..."
"Just think, Indian takeaway from India!"
"Cuddy fired you, at last?"
"Jimmy, you moron. Cuddy'll never fire me. She wants to get in my pants."
"You're escaping the law?"
"You wound me, Jimmy. Do I really strike you as the type to do anything illegal?"
"Do you really want me to answer that?"
House just snorted in reply.
"How about you give me a straight answer for once. What are you running away from?"
"I'm not running away!"
"Well, explain it to me then! I left my mind-reading goggles at home today.
"Cuddy's pregnant."
"Wow! Ok. And the thought of Cuddy reproducing is so terrifying that you need to flee the country?"
House rolled his eyes.
"My sperm were involved."
"Oh my God! You had sex with Cuddy?!"
"That's generally how it works."
"... And neither of you could work out how to use a condom? That's a bit sad, actually."
"Using a condom would have defeated the whole purpose. How was Cuddy supposed to get any of my sperm that way?"
"You got Cuddy pregnant on purpose?"
"Like DUH! She's only wanted a kid since, like, forever!"
"And now you're running away?"
"Fuck off, Wilson."
"... because babies are oh-so-scary! Watch out! It's going to drool on you!"
"Do you have any actual reason for being here?"
"Not as such. But, my God! You slept with Cuddy! And you didn't tell me!"
"Yes! Yes, I thought we'd already established that."
"Then why the hell are you running away?!"
House stared appraisingly at Wilson for a second.
"I don't want to have a kid who only knows me only as 'the-weirdo-who-works-for-mommy'. Cuddy doesn't want me to be the kid's father. The kid won't either, for that matter. Trust me, it's better never to have had a father than to have one like me."
"...Wow. That actually almost made sense."
"Fuck off, Wilson."
Fortunately, two decades as House's friend had taught Wilson to ignore this type of comment.
"Running away won't make you happy."
"You don't know that."
"Do you think it will make you happy?"
"No."
"Well, stay then!"
"Excuse me if I don't want to have to watch my kid and Cuddy being the perfect family together!"
"You actually want the kid?"
"You can't always get what you want."
"But if you try.."
"Shut up."
"Look, House. I can see the problem, but you're missing the obvious solution!"
"Yeah?"
"Well, the reason you would make a crap father is because you still haven't grown up. You still act like a ten-year-old with no sense of responsibility. A ten-year-old would be useless as a father, but wait until they're adults and most turn out ok."
"You want me to change? People don't change."
"Of course they do! If people didn't change we would all still be wearing diapers. Hell, we'd all still be living in trees."
House couldn't come up with an appropriately witty come-back for this, so merely poked out his tongue.
"Here's how I see it. It's completely obvious that you like Cuddy. Don't even try to deny it."
House didn't deny it.
"...and it's obvious she likes you too."
"No, she doesn't."
"She slept with you!"
"Only because she wanted a baby!"
"This is Cuddy we're talking about. She chose you to procreate with, rather than anyone else or any anonymous sperm donors."
"She wants the baby to have my ravishing good looks."
"Face it, she likes you."
"She's ignored me since she conceived."
"I'm not really surprised. Cuddy has a bad habit of thinking too carefully about things. She's distancing herself because she thinks it's best for the child."
"Thanks," House replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Hey, I'm not saying she's right!"
"She is."
"What makes you so sure that you couldn't be a good father?"
"You're even more of an idiot than I thought! You can't see the problem?"
"Just tell me your reasons."
"What? Apart from being an 'immature', drug-addicted, alcoholic cripple with serious personality issues, 'no sense of responsibility’, no experience with kids, and the fact that the mother would probably file a restraining order if I go near it? If you want I can write you out a list."
"That's a good idea, actually. Write a list of the things you think would make you a bad father, then you can focus on fixing them."
"You're nuts."
"What have you got to lose?"