FIC: Team Naked Pics
Team Naked Pics
by why_me_why_not and irisgirl12000
bandom ll teen ll Brendon/Shane, Spencer/Brendon ll ~4700 words
This is not true, and is not meant to imply anything about the people whose names are used. Fiction. Disclaimed, yes?
A/N: This started with an IM conversation that went like this:
why_me_why_not: There needs to be fic where Brendon & Shane get into a massive fight and naked pics of Bren leak onto the internet. or someone else is jealous of Brendon&Shane and leaks pics onto the internet and blames it on shane in order to start a massive fight?
irisgirl12000: I'd definitely be on Team Naked Pics. So, another band member is jealous, or a random scene person? B/c I think Spencer or Ryan could be jealous, even though they don't know that Shane/Brendon is purely a casual fuck-buddy thing. Like, it was FINE when Bden was the only single one and they all had their girlfriends, but the idea that he might be taken by someone else makes them cranky and possessive. And hey, they went to the Pete Wentz School of Publicity. Peen pictures always work out fine in the end, right?
* * *
Spencer is drunk and cranky and alone. It's not a pleasant situation. Ryan and Jon deserted him, like their beds are more important than Spencer, and stupid fucking Brendon is who-the-fuck-knows-where with stupid fucking Shane. Probably fucking Shane.
Spencer's kinda upset about the whole Shane thing. Fuck that, he's really pissed. Since he and Haley broke up, he'd been counting on Brendon for solidarity. The two of them against the practically-married-to-girls other half of the band. And he's drunk enough to admit that maybe he was expecting (hoping for) something more from Brendon. Haley had quite a few things to say before they decided that it would be better if they took a permanent break, and after thinking about it, Spencer knows that she was being truthful and not malicious. He hadn't counted Shane in the equation.
Spencer is used to being caught on film all the time - he practically lives with Jon Walker, so he knows that even the mundane can and probably will be photographed - so he's not entirely sure why he wants to shove Shane's camera down his fucking throat. It's not like he's even all that great. As if to prove this to himself, Spencer rolls over and reaches for Brendon's laptop. They have a bus rule that anything left in the lounge is fair game. It's not like they really ever hide anything from one another anyway.
There's an icon on the desktop that exclaims "SHANEPICS!" (he can practically hear Brendon's excited capital letters) and Spencer rolls his eyes as he clicks on it. He scrolls through the pictures, thinking that Jon and Tom are way better. And that's not because he's biased!
Spencer notices a folder that is just designated "B" and is surprised to find it's password protected. Luckily Brendon is pretty easy (haha, easy) to figure out, even through the alcohol, and Spencer guesses the right password after the third try. He clicks on the first pictures and - holy shit! He doesn't know whether to cover his eyes or scroll through the rest of the folder. It's not like he hasn't seen Brendon naked before (Brendon has no shame, seriously, he's been known to strip down in front of strangers without hesitation), but this… this is Brendon in black and white, stretched wantonly across rumpled sheets, aroused and unapologetic, gazing up at him with dark, demanding eyes.
Spencer doesn't like that these pictures exist, that Shane not only has the right to see Brendon like this whenever he wants but that he can record it, make that image permanent.
He isn't sure why he thinks it's a good idea to upload the pictures to their FriendsOrEnemies page, but he feels a vindictive sense of satisfaction when he hits "post."
Spencer knows he didn't pass out in his bunk, but that's where he wakes up. He vaguely recalls Ryan dragging him up from the floor and a few choice comments about Spencer's weight. (Ryan calls him chubby because he knows it pisses Spencer off. Jon claims he's curvy and says Ryan's just jealous. Brendon is always quick to jump in and insist that Spencer is cuddly and comfortable, and usually follows this up with a demonstration of Spencer's awesome cuddliness.) There's a bottle of water laying beside his head, and Spencer almost forgives Ryan for the weight comments.
He sits up a little and downs half the bottle in one go. He regrets it almost instantly as the water threatens to make an immediate reappearance. He scrambles out of his bunk and barely makes it to the bathroom before puking. He wants to lay down on the floor, curl up, and sleep until the pounding in his head subsides to something manageable, but that's kinda disgusting. He forces himself up and stumbles back to the bunks and notices the curtain pulled back on Brendon's bunk. Brendon's messy, unslept-in bunk. Fucking Shane.
Spencer strips down to his boxers and climbs into Brendon's bunk, closing his eyes and hoping to drift back to sleep.
He hears Brendon's phone from the lounge (Brendon and his obnoxious ringtones, seriously), hears the soft murmur of Brendon's voice and then a little louder. "What the fuck, Pete? It's too early for this shit. Where's my laptop?"
Oh shit. Spencer holds his breath, slides a little closer to the edge of the bunk to hear better.
Things are quiet for a long time, and Spencer's hoping that he dreamt the naked pictures of Brendon. It wouldn't be the first time he's had naked Brendon in his dreams.
Apparently not.
"What the fucking fuck? Shane? Shane!"
Spencer pulls the pillow over his head, decides he doesn't want to hear after all. Wonders if it's possible to smother himself. The layer of fluff drowns out the words but not the sound of their voices, loud and harsh and angry. Spencer feels the bus slow down, turn, and rumble to a stop. He chances lifting the pillow up a little.
"There, Bren, they're deleted. Gone."
"So fucking what? Did you see the hit counter? 34,221. Thirty thousand fucking people saw my fucking dick!"
"Brendon, I didn't…" Shane's voice is calm, a lot calmer than Spencer thinks he would be if he were out there.
"No, fuck you. Who else could've done it, Shane? You and I are the only ones who have those pictures, and I didn't do this shit myself!"
Oh shit. Yeah, that's probably an understatement at this point, but it's all Spencer can come up with. He pulls the pillow back over his head as he hears Zack talking over the other two.
Spencer isn't sure how much time has passed when he feels the bed shift. He pushes the pillow aside and stares at Brendon. Brendon's not looking at him, but he can see the tears on his cheeks and the way he's shaking. Spencer doesn't say anything, just scooches over, reaches for Brendon's wrist to tug him into the bunk to curl up beside him.
When Spencer wakes up, Brendon is practically on top of him, asleep. Spencer really really has to take a piss, but he's not about to make Brendon move. Brendon hadn't said anything, but he has to know Spencer heard. Hell, Spencer is pretty sure the entire tour heard.
Luckily, Zack comes by and hunkers down beside the bunk, lays his hand on Brendon's back. Brendon opens his eyes, blinking sleepily at Zack.
"He's gone, Brendon, on his way to the airport." From the tone of his voice, Spencer knows there's more to the story. He wonders if Zack threatened Shane, or confiscated his laptop or his cameras. Zack's kinda spectacularly protective when it comes to all of them, but especially Brendon. "I think Ryan and Jon are wanting to get food; you two coming?"
Brendon shifts around to glance at Spencer, like he's only just realized his bed is warm and breathing, before nodding. "Yeah, give us a few minutes."
The day falls into its usual routine, only with less Shane and more whispers. Everyone seems to be a little cautious around Brendon, like he's fragile or vulnerable or something. Spencer wonders what the fuck they're thinking - c'mon, it's Brendon, and yeah, some shit went down but screaming matches are pretty common on tour and that'll blow over eventually. The pictures are a bigger shitstorm, but they all went to the Pete Wentz School of Publicity, so Spencer figures it'll work out in the end, right?
Spencer walks up to Brendon and takes the Red Bull out of his hand and finishes it off. Brendon shoots him a grateful look - see, Spencer knew Brendon just wanted to be treated like things are normal! - before protesting the indignity of Spencer being a caffeine-thief. Things dissolve into roughhousing and Brendon's actually smiling when Zack comes in and steals him for a lecture about "appropriate behavior".
Spencer is avoiding Ryan - Ryan has known him forever, and it won't take long at all for him to recognize Spencer's guilt and to trace it back to its source - so he goes to con someone into making an ice cream run for him. When he gets back to the bus, he seeks out Brendon and holds out the ice cream in offering. Brendon smiles and scoots over on the couch to make room for Spencer. Spencer wonders if he remembers that this is the same flavor Brendon bought for him after he and Haley…
"We didn't break up, y'know," Brendon says, because apparently he's a mind reader now. "Me and Shane, we weren't… I mean, it was just a casual fuck-buddy thing, right? It's just… I trusted him." He stirs half-heartedly at the ice cream. "And I'm not pissed anymore. Well, I am still pissed, because fuck, c'mon. Naked pictures? But I guess it's better than all that shit Lana blogged about me, so." Brendon shrugs, glances at Spencer before offering him a bite. "It just sucks that he did it without asking, because he promised they'd be private. I'm not ashamed or anything, but it's still weird."
Spencer hums in agreement, wraps his arm around Brendon to pull him closer and make for better cuddling. He's just taken another offered bite of ice cream when Brendon says, "I'm really gonna miss getting regular blow jobs, though," and Spencer practically chokes. He really really did not need to know that.
The days slide into one another and time passes. Brendon tries to avoid the internet and his parents and Gabe Saporta more than usual, but other than that, things are mostly normal. Spencer still feels guilty, especially since Ryan knows and keeps watching him with disappointment, and since Ryan knows, Jon knows, and he acts like it's a joke, smirking at Spencer like he's an evil mastermind who planned all this to get in Brendon's pants or something, which he totally didn't. Honest.
Spencer knows Brendon thinks they're keeping something from him, and he's hinted that he's hurt that Spencer's not sharing whatever the secret is. Spencer gets that; they've always been close, all four of them, but he and Brendon have shared pretty much everything since he and Haley broke up. He tries to relax when Brendon's around, to enjoy the cuddletimes and offer reassurances and whatnot, but it's not always easy.
One afternoon a few weeks after the picture incident, Brendon crawls up beside Spencer, practically in his lap, and complains in familiar Brendon fashion about Jon eating the last poptart and Ryan taking too long in the shower last night at the hotel and about how horrible it feels to have been utterly betrayed by his best friends. He looks confused when Spencer gets up and walks out.
After the show that night, Brendon is well on his way to getting better acquainted with one of the techs - in plain sight, and Spencer is certain that Zack warned Brendon to be extra careful with his indiscretions - when Spencer walks past him. He doesn't think about it, just jerks him away, pulls him into an empty room, and kisses him rough and fierce against the back of the door. He wants to lick his way into Brendon's mouth, remove the taste of the nameless tech, keep kissing him until he forgets about the last month, forgets about Shane, until all he can think of is Spencer. Wants Brendon lost in him the way all he can think about is BrendonBrendonBrendon and MINE.
Brendon is still and tense in Spencer's arms at first, but then he makes this little noise in the back of his throat and opens, lets Spencer in and relaxes, leaving Spencer and the door to hold him upright.
Spencer loses all sense of time and place, and his awareness is narrowed to Brendon's mouth against his and the need to have bare skin beneath his hands when the door shakes under a hail of knocking. He shifts them to get a more solid support, and hey, wow, in the rearranging, Brendon's hips align with his, and Spencer can't help but tighten his grip just to feel Brendon surge up against him in reaction.
"Urie, you better not be doing what I think you're doing!" Zack's annoyance is clearly audible.
Brendon groans in disappointment but doesn't pull away. The door opens and Spencer half turns, trying to block Zack's entry.
"Christ, you two! What are you thinking, doing that here?"
Over Zack's shoulder, the bustle of set tear-down is loud.
Spencer reluctantly releases Brendon, whose eyes flutter open. Brendon licks his lips slowly, looking dazed and disoriented, and he's too uncoordinated to object when Zack grabs them both by the elbows and marches them out to the bus.
Spencer's hoping they can get back to what they were doing as soon as Zack shoves them up the steps, but Ryan is right there; he takes one look at Zack's scowl and Spencer's attempt at guilty avoidance, and Spencer knows he's in for a lecture.
"Spencer."
"Keep an eye on them," Zack orders before heading out to oversee the last of the packing-up.
Brendon looks from Spencer to Ryan, shakes his head, and abandons Spencer for the back lounge. A couple of seconds later, Jon's voice drifts out, followed by the theme music for Gossip Girl.
"Spencer, what the hell are you doing?"
"Nothing, now." Okay, so it's maybe immature to grumble, but seriously. Five minutes ago life was awesome, with Brendon and kissing and semi-privacy, and now he's facing Ryan's disappointed face, and Brendon is. Not kissing him, not even close to him.
"You're lying to him. He trusts us, and you're abusing that."
"I'm not lying. Exactly."
"You haven't told him the truth, have you?"
Spencer can't lie to Ryan, not even by omission, and definitely not outright.
"I didn't think so. That's just as bad."
Spencer opens his mouth to argue, but something in Ryan's expression stops the words on his lips.
"He trusts us, trusts you, and you're lying to him every second that you don't tell him that you're the one who posted those pictures, not Shane."
Spencer slumps.
"I know. I just. I was drunk. I didn't mean to."
"Then you should tell him that."
"I suppose you want me to apologize to Shane, too?" Spencer tries not to sound like a sullen teenager, but he really wants to sulk. If Shane hadn't taken the pictures - no, okay, it's not Shane's fault. Spencer is the responsible party here. Ryan doesn't even have a chance to comment before Spencer mutters, "Fine, fine. I'll tell Brendon tomorrow-." There's a small sound, and, paranoid, Spencer cuts himself off. When he turns to look, the walkway to the bunks and back lounge are empty. "-alright?"
Ryan nods. "Tomorrow. Promise?"
"Pinky swear."
Spencer plans to confess first thing in the morning, but Brendon and Jon are up and out early for a radio interview, and when Spencer looks for Brendon later, he's not around. In fact, he doesn't see Brendon at all until Zack escorts him to the venue's stage for soundcheck that afternoon; then things are all business. Hoping to get some time alone afterward, Spencer heads to the green room, where he is unpleasantly surprised to find Brendon pressed to Shane's side, curled up on the sofa. The bad mood that's been following him around since his fight with Ryan carries on throughout the rest of the day, and he's actually relieved when the show is over. Ryan and Jon are no help because they both know the truth and they're not getting involved, and Spencer doesn't know what Zack's deal is, because he really didn't expect him to let Shane back around them, and Brendon and Shane are acting like all is right in their world when Spencer knows that kiss last night meant something, is even more irrationally sure Brendon is supposed to be his. He's really, really tempted to hang out on one of the other buses and get wasted, but he (obviously) tends to make poor decisions when he's drunk, so he storms off to his bunk and stares at his phone for a while. He can't call Haley, and he really doesn't have anyone else to turn to other than his mom; he really doesn't want to explain to her about how much of a shit he's been.
He's still eyeing his phone morosely, wondering if one of his sisters will sympathize with his dilemma (and he wonders when he turned into a teenaged girl) when it vibrates, Pete's name flashing across the display.
"Yeah?"
"Dude, we can spin naked pictures, but pictures of you with your tongue down your lead singer's throat? Harder to explain."
What the fuck? Spencer sits up too fast and hits his head on the top of the bunk. But seriously, what the fuck!? Pete's not laughing, and Spencer has a really, really bad feeling about this. He doesn't know where such pictures would have come from, needs to know where they are and who's responsible for them and who's seen them and to see them himself, but all he manages to get out to Pete is, "Um, what?"
When Spencer comes out from the bunks, he is immediately irritated by the sight of Brendon cozied up next to Shane. Spencer sits down across from them, hands Brendon his Sidekick, opened to Buzznet, and says, "At least the fans have something else talk about now." Because, okay, wow, camera phones have gotten way, way better in terms of resolution: even with Spencer's body pressing Brendon against the wall, partially blocking the view, Spencer's profile and the tattooed arm clutching his shoulder is still recognizable.
"Wow," Shane says under his breath, and Brendon takes moment to glare at him before turning to Spencer and handing his Sidekick back.
"Where did that come from?" Brendon's voice is remarkably calm.
Annoyed, Spencer replies, "I'm going out on a limb and guessing it was last night. Unless there's some other occasion we kissed."
Brendon shrugs casually. "Nobody'll care about it."
"Nobody will-" Spencer sputters in disbelief. The hit count is already over ten thousand, and it's likely to go higher; their fans are obsessive in their interest. Why isn't Brendon more upset about this? His reaction is nothing like the freak-out over the naked pictures. And, okay, Brendon isn't naked in these pictures, but he also isn't the only person visible, and this is so much worse in Spencer's opinion. Not because he cares about being outed or being bisexual or worries about their fan base having an adverse reaction, but because that was a private moment, and-
The moment he thinks it, the moment he realizes it, the full gravity of his actions sink into Spencer's consciousness.
Swallowing guilt and annoyance, Spencer glares at Brendon and Shane for a moment, then grits out, "Pete wants the four of us to call him back, to discuss how we're going to deal with this."
There's barely enough space for the five of them - despite Spencer's emphasis on four, Shane accompanies them to the front of the bus, sticking to Brendon's side. Ryan sets aside his notebook when they come in from the back; Jon's there, fiddling with his camera, but he doesn't say anything, even when Spencer announces, "Band meeting," and dials Pete back.
The grin is evident in Pete's voice when he picks up. "Brendon Urie, are you trying to outdo me, man? Naked pictures are one thing, but making out with your bandmates and getting caught on film? I don't think Patrick would approve."
"It's not a joke, Pete." Spencer tries to keep the growl out of his voice, and he thinks he's mostly successful. He tries to avoid meeting Ryan's eyes. Spencer's fairly certain that Ryan expected any band meeting or revelations to pertain to the previous media catastrophe, not a new one. Instead, Spencer mouths "buzznet" at Jon, before glancing down at the phone in his hands, not wanting to watch their reactions as Jon pulls up the page and shows Ryan the new pictures, but he can't help it. He's totally fucked them over - yeah, he's willing to admit this is partially his fault - but what's done is done and now they need to decide what to do next.
"A media gimmick? I mean, the boards are going crazy and we can totally play this up, but maybe you should have talked to me first? I'm starting to think you set this up on your own, Urie."
"As if," Brendon scoffs. "If I had, I would take credit for it, at least."
There's something sharp in Brendon's voice that, combined with his too-perfectly innocent expression, has alarm bells sounding in Spencer's head. Before he can comment, Shane pipes in, "Not that I'm happy about the whole mess, but a ton of people figured out that I took the previous photos, and I've gotten a bunch of requests to do more still photography work."
Something angry and possessive in Spencer's brain breaks, because Shane is talking about professional advancement based on naked pictures of Brendon. Pictures he didn't even post. "You didn't even post those, and you're profiting from them? I never would have uploaded them if I'd known it would work out like this!"
Dead silence.
And, okay, wow, Spencer really needs a filter between his brain and his mouth when he's upset, because even though he was thinking that, he didn't mean to just blurt it out. When he gathers his courage and looks up, he realizes that no one else must have expected it, either; even though Ryan, and by extension, Jon, knew the truth, neither could conceal their surprise. The look on Brendon's face is indescribable: an odd mix of disappointment, satisfaction, and betrayal. Shane, on the other hand, appears almost sympathetic.
"I'm sorry. I just - it's not an excuse, but I was drunk. I never would have done it if I were sober, if I had thought clearly." Brendon appears unmoved, which is unusual - he's the most forgiving person Spencer knows; too forgiving, in Spencer's opinion - but Spencer continues, "Shane, I'm sorry. I never should have let you take the blame." Shane nods, and Spencer knows that he's not forgiven, but at least Shane probably won't hold a grudge. Brendon doesn't acknowledge Spencer's apology; in fact, he's remarkably still, unnaturally so. Spencer mentally catalogs and discards possible approaches, ignoring the silence until Pete's voice sounds, tinny through the speaker phone.
"I'm sorry to interrupt your mea culpas, Spencer, but the naked pictures are so last month. We need to figure out what to do about the new one. Do you guys want to make a public statement? Ignore it? Wait and see if Perez or ONTD pick it up? What?"
Brendon shakes his head sharply, and then says, "I say we see what happens. People might recognize my tattoos, but I could be kissing any guy with a beard." There's a smirk hiding somewhere in his voice, which distracts Spencer for a moment, but then, "Wait, any guy with a beard?"
Pete's shrug is almost audible. "You're in profile, dude. We know it's you, but it's fifty/fifty whether a casual observer would recognize you. Bden, if we let it go and Perez picks it up, are you going to be okay being the gay dude in the band?"
"People speculate about it already. If I have to, I'll talk about it. Whether I like boys or girls isn't an issue; I'd just rather my private life stayed private."
Fat chance of that happening, when you date scene queens and photographers, Spencer thinks spitefully, conveniently forgetting that the pictures in question were *not* posted by people Brendon had dated.
"Spencer?" Pete asks. "You okay with that, keeping your name out of it?"
"And what, Pete, pretending it's some random guy?"
"Might as well," Brendon says. "Nobody needs to know it was you."
"Is that what you want, Brendon?" Spencer takes a step closer to Brendon. "Most of our fans already think you're with Shane, now you're hooking up with random guys, too? Do you want people to think you're a slut?"
"Oh, so now I'm a slut?"
"I didn't say that!"
"Yes, you did! Whatever, Spencer, it's your fault anyway; if you never would've posted the pictures in the first place, none of this would have happened!"
"I'm not the one who had naked pictures of myself just laying around!"
"On my fucking laptop! You had no right to even be going through my laptop to begin with!"
"I said I was sorry!" Spencer can see Shane and Jon glancing back and forth between himself and Brendon, can see Ryan taking a step back, hunched over. He knows how much Ryan hates yelling, and any other time he'd maybe feel guilty about it, but, fuck, Brendon. "I'm sorry I posted the pictures, I'm sorry I let Shane take the blame, I'm sorry I didn't tell you!"
"I'm sorry doesn't change things, it doesn't fix anything!" Brendon's standing up on his tiptoes, trying to make himself taller than he is as Spencer gets right up in his space.
"What do you want me to say, then, Brendon? Because when it all comes down to it, it's all your stupid fucking fault anyway!"
"It's my fault you're an asshole?"
"NO! It's your fault those pictures existed in the first place, and you had them on your laptop on the bus! And if you wouldn't have kept going off with Shane, I wouldn't have had reason to even look at your laptop. And last night - you had your fucking tongue down that tech's throat, right there in front of God and everybody! What the hell, Brendon?"
"You're jealous." Spencer had almost forgotten that Shane was there until he spoke. "You did this because you're jealous."
"I'm not fucking jealous," Spencer mutters, glaring at Shane before turning back to Brendon.
"Whatever, Spencer," Brendon says, "it doesn't matter. It's not like it's going to happen again."
"What? Wait! What do you mean, not going to happen again?" Spencer isn't sure when he and Brendon got so close, close enough that he can feel Brendon's heart racing against his the palm of his hand where it's come to rest on Brendon's chest, and he doesn't know when Brendon's hand got twisted up in the collar of Spencer's shirt, but there they are.
"Not. Gonna. Happen," Brendon says, shaking Spencer a little.
"Oh, fuck you, yes it is happening again!" Spencer kisses Brendon roughly, more about possession and proving an point than anything else. Brendon brings his other hand up and Spencer thinks he's going to try to push him away, but instead he's pulling him closer, until Brendon is pressed between Spencer and the counter. Spencer can taste blood where Brendon's teeth catch his lip, and he pulls back just a little, breathing heavily, and slides his hands down to tug at the end of Brendon's shirt. He spares a moment to slide his hand along the smooth, heated skin of Brendon's stomach before wrapping his hands around Brendon's hips and urging him up as he steps even closer. He boosts Brendon up onto the counter - which is the perfect height and an excellent solution since Spencer had been getting a crick in his neck - and his hands disappear under Brendon's shirt as he leans in to lick his way back into Brendon's mouth.
Brendon groans, arches against Spencer, and he can feel Brendon's hands sliding under his own shirt. He hears the scramble of the other guys leaving - Ryan's horrified, "Oh my god, I'm never eating anything cooked in this kitchen again!" would make him laugh if he wasn't otherwise occupied. The tell-tale sound of a camera shutter forces Spencer to pull away from Brendon long enough to glare at Shane. Shane flashes them a smile and drops the camera before skedaddling after Jon and Ryan.
"Guys? Guys?"
Spencer thinks about hanging up his Sidekick, but that would mean having to let go of Brendon, so he figures Pete can hang up on his own.
by why_me_why_not and irisgirl12000
bandom ll teen ll Brendon/Shane, Spencer/Brendon ll ~4700 words
This is not true, and is not meant to imply anything about the people whose names are used. Fiction. Disclaimed, yes?
A/N: This started with an IM conversation that went like this:
why_me_why_not: There needs to be fic where Brendon & Shane get into a massive fight and naked pics of Bren leak onto the internet. or someone else is jealous of Brendon&Shane and leaks pics onto the internet and blames it on shane in order to start a massive fight?
irisgirl12000: I'd definitely be on Team Naked Pics. So, another band member is jealous, or a random scene person? B/c I think Spencer or Ryan could be jealous, even though they don't know that Shane/Brendon is purely a casual fuck-buddy thing. Like, it was FINE when Bden was the only single one and they all had their girlfriends, but the idea that he might be taken by someone else makes them cranky and possessive. And hey, they went to the Pete Wentz School of Publicity. Peen pictures always work out fine in the end, right?
* * *
Spencer is drunk and cranky and alone. It's not a pleasant situation. Ryan and Jon deserted him, like their beds are more important than Spencer, and stupid fucking Brendon is who-the-fuck-knows-where with stupid fucking Shane. Probably fucking Shane.
Spencer's kinda upset about the whole Shane thing. Fuck that, he's really pissed. Since he and Haley broke up, he'd been counting on Brendon for solidarity. The two of them against the practically-married-to-girls other half of the band. And he's drunk enough to admit that maybe he was expecting (hoping for) something more from Brendon. Haley had quite a few things to say before they decided that it would be better if they took a permanent break, and after thinking about it, Spencer knows that she was being truthful and not malicious. He hadn't counted Shane in the equation.
Spencer is used to being caught on film all the time - he practically lives with Jon Walker, so he knows that even the mundane can and probably will be photographed - so he's not entirely sure why he wants to shove Shane's camera down his fucking throat. It's not like he's even all that great. As if to prove this to himself, Spencer rolls over and reaches for Brendon's laptop. They have a bus rule that anything left in the lounge is fair game. It's not like they really ever hide anything from one another anyway.
There's an icon on the desktop that exclaims "SHANEPICS!" (he can practically hear Brendon's excited capital letters) and Spencer rolls his eyes as he clicks on it. He scrolls through the pictures, thinking that Jon and Tom are way better. And that's not because he's biased!
Spencer notices a folder that is just designated "B" and is surprised to find it's password protected. Luckily Brendon is pretty easy (haha, easy) to figure out, even through the alcohol, and Spencer guesses the right password after the third try. He clicks on the first pictures and - holy shit! He doesn't know whether to cover his eyes or scroll through the rest of the folder. It's not like he hasn't seen Brendon naked before (Brendon has no shame, seriously, he's been known to strip down in front of strangers without hesitation), but this… this is Brendon in black and white, stretched wantonly across rumpled sheets, aroused and unapologetic, gazing up at him with dark, demanding eyes.
Spencer doesn't like that these pictures exist, that Shane not only has the right to see Brendon like this whenever he wants but that he can record it, make that image permanent.
He isn't sure why he thinks it's a good idea to upload the pictures to their FriendsOrEnemies page, but he feels a vindictive sense of satisfaction when he hits "post."
Spencer knows he didn't pass out in his bunk, but that's where he wakes up. He vaguely recalls Ryan dragging him up from the floor and a few choice comments about Spencer's weight. (Ryan calls him chubby because he knows it pisses Spencer off. Jon claims he's curvy and says Ryan's just jealous. Brendon is always quick to jump in and insist that Spencer is cuddly and comfortable, and usually follows this up with a demonstration of Spencer's awesome cuddliness.) There's a bottle of water laying beside his head, and Spencer almost forgives Ryan for the weight comments.
He sits up a little and downs half the bottle in one go. He regrets it almost instantly as the water threatens to make an immediate reappearance. He scrambles out of his bunk and barely makes it to the bathroom before puking. He wants to lay down on the floor, curl up, and sleep until the pounding in his head subsides to something manageable, but that's kinda disgusting. He forces himself up and stumbles back to the bunks and notices the curtain pulled back on Brendon's bunk. Brendon's messy, unslept-in bunk. Fucking Shane.
Spencer strips down to his boxers and climbs into Brendon's bunk, closing his eyes and hoping to drift back to sleep.
He hears Brendon's phone from the lounge (Brendon and his obnoxious ringtones, seriously), hears the soft murmur of Brendon's voice and then a little louder. "What the fuck, Pete? It's too early for this shit. Where's my laptop?"
Oh shit. Spencer holds his breath, slides a little closer to the edge of the bunk to hear better.
Things are quiet for a long time, and Spencer's hoping that he dreamt the naked pictures of Brendon. It wouldn't be the first time he's had naked Brendon in his dreams.
Apparently not.
"What the fucking fuck? Shane? Shane!"
Spencer pulls the pillow over his head, decides he doesn't want to hear after all. Wonders if it's possible to smother himself. The layer of fluff drowns out the words but not the sound of their voices, loud and harsh and angry. Spencer feels the bus slow down, turn, and rumble to a stop. He chances lifting the pillow up a little.
"There, Bren, they're deleted. Gone."
"So fucking what? Did you see the hit counter? 34,221. Thirty thousand fucking people saw my fucking dick!"
"Brendon, I didn't…" Shane's voice is calm, a lot calmer than Spencer thinks he would be if he were out there.
"No, fuck you. Who else could've done it, Shane? You and I are the only ones who have those pictures, and I didn't do this shit myself!"
Oh shit. Yeah, that's probably an understatement at this point, but it's all Spencer can come up with. He pulls the pillow back over his head as he hears Zack talking over the other two.
Spencer isn't sure how much time has passed when he feels the bed shift. He pushes the pillow aside and stares at Brendon. Brendon's not looking at him, but he can see the tears on his cheeks and the way he's shaking. Spencer doesn't say anything, just scooches over, reaches for Brendon's wrist to tug him into the bunk to curl up beside him.
When Spencer wakes up, Brendon is practically on top of him, asleep. Spencer really really has to take a piss, but he's not about to make Brendon move. Brendon hadn't said anything, but he has to know Spencer heard. Hell, Spencer is pretty sure the entire tour heard.
Luckily, Zack comes by and hunkers down beside the bunk, lays his hand on Brendon's back. Brendon opens his eyes, blinking sleepily at Zack.
"He's gone, Brendon, on his way to the airport." From the tone of his voice, Spencer knows there's more to the story. He wonders if Zack threatened Shane, or confiscated his laptop or his cameras. Zack's kinda spectacularly protective when it comes to all of them, but especially Brendon. "I think Ryan and Jon are wanting to get food; you two coming?"
Brendon shifts around to glance at Spencer, like he's only just realized his bed is warm and breathing, before nodding. "Yeah, give us a few minutes."
The day falls into its usual routine, only with less Shane and more whispers. Everyone seems to be a little cautious around Brendon, like he's fragile or vulnerable or something. Spencer wonders what the fuck they're thinking - c'mon, it's Brendon, and yeah, some shit went down but screaming matches are pretty common on tour and that'll blow over eventually. The pictures are a bigger shitstorm, but they all went to the Pete Wentz School of Publicity, so Spencer figures it'll work out in the end, right?
Spencer walks up to Brendon and takes the Red Bull out of his hand and finishes it off. Brendon shoots him a grateful look - see, Spencer knew Brendon just wanted to be treated like things are normal! - before protesting the indignity of Spencer being a caffeine-thief. Things dissolve into roughhousing and Brendon's actually smiling when Zack comes in and steals him for a lecture about "appropriate behavior".
Spencer is avoiding Ryan - Ryan has known him forever, and it won't take long at all for him to recognize Spencer's guilt and to trace it back to its source - so he goes to con someone into making an ice cream run for him. When he gets back to the bus, he seeks out Brendon and holds out the ice cream in offering. Brendon smiles and scoots over on the couch to make room for Spencer. Spencer wonders if he remembers that this is the same flavor Brendon bought for him after he and Haley…
"We didn't break up, y'know," Brendon says, because apparently he's a mind reader now. "Me and Shane, we weren't… I mean, it was just a casual fuck-buddy thing, right? It's just… I trusted him." He stirs half-heartedly at the ice cream. "And I'm not pissed anymore. Well, I am still pissed, because fuck, c'mon. Naked pictures? But I guess it's better than all that shit Lana blogged about me, so." Brendon shrugs, glances at Spencer before offering him a bite. "It just sucks that he did it without asking, because he promised they'd be private. I'm not ashamed or anything, but it's still weird."
Spencer hums in agreement, wraps his arm around Brendon to pull him closer and make for better cuddling. He's just taken another offered bite of ice cream when Brendon says, "I'm really gonna miss getting regular blow jobs, though," and Spencer practically chokes. He really really did not need to know that.
The days slide into one another and time passes. Brendon tries to avoid the internet and his parents and Gabe Saporta more than usual, but other than that, things are mostly normal. Spencer still feels guilty, especially since Ryan knows and keeps watching him with disappointment, and since Ryan knows, Jon knows, and he acts like it's a joke, smirking at Spencer like he's an evil mastermind who planned all this to get in Brendon's pants or something, which he totally didn't. Honest.
Spencer knows Brendon thinks they're keeping something from him, and he's hinted that he's hurt that Spencer's not sharing whatever the secret is. Spencer gets that; they've always been close, all four of them, but he and Brendon have shared pretty much everything since he and Haley broke up. He tries to relax when Brendon's around, to enjoy the cuddletimes and offer reassurances and whatnot, but it's not always easy.
One afternoon a few weeks after the picture incident, Brendon crawls up beside Spencer, practically in his lap, and complains in familiar Brendon fashion about Jon eating the last poptart and Ryan taking too long in the shower last night at the hotel and about how horrible it feels to have been utterly betrayed by his best friends. He looks confused when Spencer gets up and walks out.
After the show that night, Brendon is well on his way to getting better acquainted with one of the techs - in plain sight, and Spencer is certain that Zack warned Brendon to be extra careful with his indiscretions - when Spencer walks past him. He doesn't think about it, just jerks him away, pulls him into an empty room, and kisses him rough and fierce against the back of the door. He wants to lick his way into Brendon's mouth, remove the taste of the nameless tech, keep kissing him until he forgets about the last month, forgets about Shane, until all he can think of is Spencer. Wants Brendon lost in him the way all he can think about is BrendonBrendonBrendon and MINE.
Brendon is still and tense in Spencer's arms at first, but then he makes this little noise in the back of his throat and opens, lets Spencer in and relaxes, leaving Spencer and the door to hold him upright.
Spencer loses all sense of time and place, and his awareness is narrowed to Brendon's mouth against his and the need to have bare skin beneath his hands when the door shakes under a hail of knocking. He shifts them to get a more solid support, and hey, wow, in the rearranging, Brendon's hips align with his, and Spencer can't help but tighten his grip just to feel Brendon surge up against him in reaction.
"Urie, you better not be doing what I think you're doing!" Zack's annoyance is clearly audible.
Brendon groans in disappointment but doesn't pull away. The door opens and Spencer half turns, trying to block Zack's entry.
"Christ, you two! What are you thinking, doing that here?"
Over Zack's shoulder, the bustle of set tear-down is loud.
Spencer reluctantly releases Brendon, whose eyes flutter open. Brendon licks his lips slowly, looking dazed and disoriented, and he's too uncoordinated to object when Zack grabs them both by the elbows and marches them out to the bus.
Spencer's hoping they can get back to what they were doing as soon as Zack shoves them up the steps, but Ryan is right there; he takes one look at Zack's scowl and Spencer's attempt at guilty avoidance, and Spencer knows he's in for a lecture.
"Spencer."
"Keep an eye on them," Zack orders before heading out to oversee the last of the packing-up.
Brendon looks from Spencer to Ryan, shakes his head, and abandons Spencer for the back lounge. A couple of seconds later, Jon's voice drifts out, followed by the theme music for Gossip Girl.
"Spencer, what the hell are you doing?"
"Nothing, now." Okay, so it's maybe immature to grumble, but seriously. Five minutes ago life was awesome, with Brendon and kissing and semi-privacy, and now he's facing Ryan's disappointed face, and Brendon is. Not kissing him, not even close to him.
"You're lying to him. He trusts us, and you're abusing that."
"I'm not lying. Exactly."
"You haven't told him the truth, have you?"
Spencer can't lie to Ryan, not even by omission, and definitely not outright.
"I didn't think so. That's just as bad."
Spencer opens his mouth to argue, but something in Ryan's expression stops the words on his lips.
"He trusts us, trusts you, and you're lying to him every second that you don't tell him that you're the one who posted those pictures, not Shane."
Spencer slumps.
"I know. I just. I was drunk. I didn't mean to."
"Then you should tell him that."
"I suppose you want me to apologize to Shane, too?" Spencer tries not to sound like a sullen teenager, but he really wants to sulk. If Shane hadn't taken the pictures - no, okay, it's not Shane's fault. Spencer is the responsible party here. Ryan doesn't even have a chance to comment before Spencer mutters, "Fine, fine. I'll tell Brendon tomorrow-." There's a small sound, and, paranoid, Spencer cuts himself off. When he turns to look, the walkway to the bunks and back lounge are empty. "-alright?"
Ryan nods. "Tomorrow. Promise?"
"Pinky swear."
Spencer plans to confess first thing in the morning, but Brendon and Jon are up and out early for a radio interview, and when Spencer looks for Brendon later, he's not around. In fact, he doesn't see Brendon at all until Zack escorts him to the venue's stage for soundcheck that afternoon; then things are all business. Hoping to get some time alone afterward, Spencer heads to the green room, where he is unpleasantly surprised to find Brendon pressed to Shane's side, curled up on the sofa. The bad mood that's been following him around since his fight with Ryan carries on throughout the rest of the day, and he's actually relieved when the show is over. Ryan and Jon are no help because they both know the truth and they're not getting involved, and Spencer doesn't know what Zack's deal is, because he really didn't expect him to let Shane back around them, and Brendon and Shane are acting like all is right in their world when Spencer knows that kiss last night meant something, is even more irrationally sure Brendon is supposed to be his. He's really, really tempted to hang out on one of the other buses and get wasted, but he (obviously) tends to make poor decisions when he's drunk, so he storms off to his bunk and stares at his phone for a while. He can't call Haley, and he really doesn't have anyone else to turn to other than his mom; he really doesn't want to explain to her about how much of a shit he's been.
He's still eyeing his phone morosely, wondering if one of his sisters will sympathize with his dilemma (and he wonders when he turned into a teenaged girl) when it vibrates, Pete's name flashing across the display.
"Yeah?"
"Dude, we can spin naked pictures, but pictures of you with your tongue down your lead singer's throat? Harder to explain."
What the fuck? Spencer sits up too fast and hits his head on the top of the bunk. But seriously, what the fuck!? Pete's not laughing, and Spencer has a really, really bad feeling about this. He doesn't know where such pictures would have come from, needs to know where they are and who's responsible for them and who's seen them and to see them himself, but all he manages to get out to Pete is, "Um, what?"
When Spencer comes out from the bunks, he is immediately irritated by the sight of Brendon cozied up next to Shane. Spencer sits down across from them, hands Brendon his Sidekick, opened to Buzznet, and says, "At least the fans have something else talk about now." Because, okay, wow, camera phones have gotten way, way better in terms of resolution: even with Spencer's body pressing Brendon against the wall, partially blocking the view, Spencer's profile and the tattooed arm clutching his shoulder is still recognizable.
"Wow," Shane says under his breath, and Brendon takes moment to glare at him before turning to Spencer and handing his Sidekick back.
"Where did that come from?" Brendon's voice is remarkably calm.
Annoyed, Spencer replies, "I'm going out on a limb and guessing it was last night. Unless there's some other occasion we kissed."
Brendon shrugs casually. "Nobody'll care about it."
"Nobody will-" Spencer sputters in disbelief. The hit count is already over ten thousand, and it's likely to go higher; their fans are obsessive in their interest. Why isn't Brendon more upset about this? His reaction is nothing like the freak-out over the naked pictures. And, okay, Brendon isn't naked in these pictures, but he also isn't the only person visible, and this is so much worse in Spencer's opinion. Not because he cares about being outed or being bisexual or worries about their fan base having an adverse reaction, but because that was a private moment, and-
The moment he thinks it, the moment he realizes it, the full gravity of his actions sink into Spencer's consciousness.
Swallowing guilt and annoyance, Spencer glares at Brendon and Shane for a moment, then grits out, "Pete wants the four of us to call him back, to discuss how we're going to deal with this."
There's barely enough space for the five of them - despite Spencer's emphasis on four, Shane accompanies them to the front of the bus, sticking to Brendon's side. Ryan sets aside his notebook when they come in from the back; Jon's there, fiddling with his camera, but he doesn't say anything, even when Spencer announces, "Band meeting," and dials Pete back.
The grin is evident in Pete's voice when he picks up. "Brendon Urie, are you trying to outdo me, man? Naked pictures are one thing, but making out with your bandmates and getting caught on film? I don't think Patrick would approve."
"It's not a joke, Pete." Spencer tries to keep the growl out of his voice, and he thinks he's mostly successful. He tries to avoid meeting Ryan's eyes. Spencer's fairly certain that Ryan expected any band meeting or revelations to pertain to the previous media catastrophe, not a new one. Instead, Spencer mouths "buzznet" at Jon, before glancing down at the phone in his hands, not wanting to watch their reactions as Jon pulls up the page and shows Ryan the new pictures, but he can't help it. He's totally fucked them over - yeah, he's willing to admit this is partially his fault - but what's done is done and now they need to decide what to do next.
"A media gimmick? I mean, the boards are going crazy and we can totally play this up, but maybe you should have talked to me first? I'm starting to think you set this up on your own, Urie."
"As if," Brendon scoffs. "If I had, I would take credit for it, at least."
There's something sharp in Brendon's voice that, combined with his too-perfectly innocent expression, has alarm bells sounding in Spencer's head. Before he can comment, Shane pipes in, "Not that I'm happy about the whole mess, but a ton of people figured out that I took the previous photos, and I've gotten a bunch of requests to do more still photography work."
Something angry and possessive in Spencer's brain breaks, because Shane is talking about professional advancement based on naked pictures of Brendon. Pictures he didn't even post. "You didn't even post those, and you're profiting from them? I never would have uploaded them if I'd known it would work out like this!"
Dead silence.
And, okay, wow, Spencer really needs a filter between his brain and his mouth when he's upset, because even though he was thinking that, he didn't mean to just blurt it out. When he gathers his courage and looks up, he realizes that no one else must have expected it, either; even though Ryan, and by extension, Jon, knew the truth, neither could conceal their surprise. The look on Brendon's face is indescribable: an odd mix of disappointment, satisfaction, and betrayal. Shane, on the other hand, appears almost sympathetic.
"I'm sorry. I just - it's not an excuse, but I was drunk. I never would have done it if I were sober, if I had thought clearly." Brendon appears unmoved, which is unusual - he's the most forgiving person Spencer knows; too forgiving, in Spencer's opinion - but Spencer continues, "Shane, I'm sorry. I never should have let you take the blame." Shane nods, and Spencer knows that he's not forgiven, but at least Shane probably won't hold a grudge. Brendon doesn't acknowledge Spencer's apology; in fact, he's remarkably still, unnaturally so. Spencer mentally catalogs and discards possible approaches, ignoring the silence until Pete's voice sounds, tinny through the speaker phone.
"I'm sorry to interrupt your mea culpas, Spencer, but the naked pictures are so last month. We need to figure out what to do about the new one. Do you guys want to make a public statement? Ignore it? Wait and see if Perez or ONTD pick it up? What?"
Brendon shakes his head sharply, and then says, "I say we see what happens. People might recognize my tattoos, but I could be kissing any guy with a beard." There's a smirk hiding somewhere in his voice, which distracts Spencer for a moment, but then, "Wait, any guy with a beard?"
Pete's shrug is almost audible. "You're in profile, dude. We know it's you, but it's fifty/fifty whether a casual observer would recognize you. Bden, if we let it go and Perez picks it up, are you going to be okay being the gay dude in the band?"
"People speculate about it already. If I have to, I'll talk about it. Whether I like boys or girls isn't an issue; I'd just rather my private life stayed private."
Fat chance of that happening, when you date scene queens and photographers, Spencer thinks spitefully, conveniently forgetting that the pictures in question were *not* posted by people Brendon had dated.
"Spencer?" Pete asks. "You okay with that, keeping your name out of it?"
"And what, Pete, pretending it's some random guy?"
"Might as well," Brendon says. "Nobody needs to know it was you."
"Is that what you want, Brendon?" Spencer takes a step closer to Brendon. "Most of our fans already think you're with Shane, now you're hooking up with random guys, too? Do you want people to think you're a slut?"
"Oh, so now I'm a slut?"
"I didn't say that!"
"Yes, you did! Whatever, Spencer, it's your fault anyway; if you never would've posted the pictures in the first place, none of this would have happened!"
"I'm not the one who had naked pictures of myself just laying around!"
"On my fucking laptop! You had no right to even be going through my laptop to begin with!"
"I said I was sorry!" Spencer can see Shane and Jon glancing back and forth between himself and Brendon, can see Ryan taking a step back, hunched over. He knows how much Ryan hates yelling, and any other time he'd maybe feel guilty about it, but, fuck, Brendon. "I'm sorry I posted the pictures, I'm sorry I let Shane take the blame, I'm sorry I didn't tell you!"
"I'm sorry doesn't change things, it doesn't fix anything!" Brendon's standing up on his tiptoes, trying to make himself taller than he is as Spencer gets right up in his space.
"What do you want me to say, then, Brendon? Because when it all comes down to it, it's all your stupid fucking fault anyway!"
"It's my fault you're an asshole?"
"NO! It's your fault those pictures existed in the first place, and you had them on your laptop on the bus! And if you wouldn't have kept going off with Shane, I wouldn't have had reason to even look at your laptop. And last night - you had your fucking tongue down that tech's throat, right there in front of God and everybody! What the hell, Brendon?"
"You're jealous." Spencer had almost forgotten that Shane was there until he spoke. "You did this because you're jealous."
"I'm not fucking jealous," Spencer mutters, glaring at Shane before turning back to Brendon.
"Whatever, Spencer," Brendon says, "it doesn't matter. It's not like it's going to happen again."
"What? Wait! What do you mean, not going to happen again?" Spencer isn't sure when he and Brendon got so close, close enough that he can feel Brendon's heart racing against his the palm of his hand where it's come to rest on Brendon's chest, and he doesn't know when Brendon's hand got twisted up in the collar of Spencer's shirt, but there they are.
"Not. Gonna. Happen," Brendon says, shaking Spencer a little.
"Oh, fuck you, yes it is happening again!" Spencer kisses Brendon roughly, more about possession and proving an point than anything else. Brendon brings his other hand up and Spencer thinks he's going to try to push him away, but instead he's pulling him closer, until Brendon is pressed between Spencer and the counter. Spencer can taste blood where Brendon's teeth catch his lip, and he pulls back just a little, breathing heavily, and slides his hands down to tug at the end of Brendon's shirt. He spares a moment to slide his hand along the smooth, heated skin of Brendon's stomach before wrapping his hands around Brendon's hips and urging him up as he steps even closer. He boosts Brendon up onto the counter - which is the perfect height and an excellent solution since Spencer had been getting a crick in his neck - and his hands disappear under Brendon's shirt as he leans in to lick his way back into Brendon's mouth.
Brendon groans, arches against Spencer, and he can feel Brendon's hands sliding under his own shirt. He hears the scramble of the other guys leaving - Ryan's horrified, "Oh my god, I'm never eating anything cooked in this kitchen again!" would make him laugh if he wasn't otherwise occupied. The tell-tale sound of a camera shutter forces Spencer to pull away from Brendon long enough to glare at Shane. Shane flashes them a smile and drops the camera before skedaddling after Jon and Ryan.
"Guys? Guys?"
Spencer thinks about hanging up his Sidekick, but that would mean having to let go of Brendon, so he figures Pete can hang up on his own.