Breathless (4/?)
Author: t8kmybreathaway/LadyHawke69
Title: Breathless
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Rachel/Quinn
Rating: M
Summary: Quinn has to tell the family some bad news.
Disclaimer: They’re not mine, complete and total properties of Fox. Ideas are mine.
A/N: I want to thank everyone for reading and commenting. Your kind words mean the world to me. I hope you can hang on through these next few chapters. They're going to be rough.
Previous Chapters: Chapter One| Chapter Two| Chapter Three
Quinn stirred from sleep and sat upright quickly as her pager made shrill noises in the on call room. She looked down at the offensive object and immediately jumped out of bed. She put her shoes on and ran to the front desk. Standing there was a tall brunette who very much looked like Rachel with twenty years tacked on. Quinn inhaled deeply and walked towards her. “Shelby,” she said uncertainly.
Immediately brown hair whipped around and deep chocolate orbs found hers. “Quinn,” she walked towards the blonde. “How is she?” she asked.
Quinn shook her head, “I haven’t seen her since earlier when I had t-to uhm, maybe you should sit down. I should explain all this to you.”
“Okay?” Shelby said confused but sat down anyway.
Quinn sighed fidgeting with her hands. “Rachel came in a few days ago because of a fainting spell. She went to Presbyterian and they found the heart block, she came here to figure out what was going on. When I was doing some tests she fainted on me so we had her admitted. I ran an MRI to see if there were any major changes in the physical condition of her heart, I didn’t find any major changes but then her blood test came back,” Quinn paused. “The levels we check for when someone’s heart isn’t working properly, they were through the roof. I-we almost lost her. If I hadn’t found her when I did,” she shook her head taking a deep shuddering breath. “I started her heart again but we don’t know the extent of the damage that was caused. At least I don’t anyway, my boss, she made me leave because I got the nurse who let Rachel walk around by herself fired.”
Shelby looked at Quinn, “What was she doing?”
“She was singing to the kids in the children’s ward, God if I hadn’t heard her sing, I don’t know if I would’ve…” Quinn felt the moisture roll down her face and she choked on a sob.
Shelby looked at Quinn nervously and then hugged her. She was shocked at first but relaxed and let the older version of Rachel hug her. “Thank you for caring so much about her,” she whispered gently.
“I love her,” Quinn corrected softly. “So much,” she looked up at Shelby. She wasn’t sure if she had over stepped or not but something about Shelby made her feel safe, like she could tell her anything. She stepped away from the older version of Rachel, wiped her face, and led her to Rachel’s room.
When they got to there she was still unconscious and Dr. Lauritz was gone, a new nurse was checking her vitals. Quinn sighed heavily, her hands trembling, her lip caught between her teeth to keep herself from crying. Her diva was hooked up to machines helping her breathe. It took all of her strength to stay in the room as the beeping became more of a reminder of Rachel’s condition. Shelby moved forward and took the brunette’s small hand in her own. Quinn could tell she was nervous. “I’ll leave you two alone,” she said.
Shelby shook her head, “No, don’t be silly, it’s okay.”
“Are you sure?”
“I know for a fact she’d want you here as much as you could possibly be.”
“I wish I could tell her,” she said hugging herself.
“Why don’t you?”
“Yeah, I could see how that would play out well after all the horrible things I’ve done to her,” the blonde replied sullenly.
“It couldn’t have been that bad,” Shelby said, “Don’t beat yourself up over it.”
“Trust me it was horrible. Every time I saw her I threw insults at her; man hands, treasure trail, RuPaul, freak. I drew pornographic pictures of her on the bathroom stalls. I threw slushies in her face daily which in turn got the whole school to start doing it,” Quinn shook her head as she said all of this. “I wouldn’t want to be with me,” she said just above a whisper.
“I shouldn’t tell you this, because it should come from her, but it seems that you need to hear it. When we tried to put things back together again the last time the reason it didn’t work is because I was making her realize too much too soon. She talked about you constantly and I knew some of the things you did and said to her but she had forgiven you immediately after each and every one. She knew that you had no control over your life at home. She knew that treating her like that gave you control. She would never have taken that from you even if it hurt her feelings. She also told me she had suspicions that you were being abused at home however little it may have been. She knew you were hurting.”
“How?”
“For the same reason she does nothing but talk about you even after the way you treated her,” Quinn sighed. “Look, she cares about you; I know that much for sure. Honestly, I think she loves you and the minute I said it she stopped talking to me. It’s like me saying it made it real for her. It was too much for her to deal with while she was at school.”
“I’m sorry,” Quinn said sincerely.
“I know, and it’s okay it’s not your fault. I’m sure you know how she gets when she freaks out about something. She told me about senior year, that you guys were fighting and all of a sudden she had an overwhelming need to kiss you, but you ignored her for the rest of the year and only spoke long enough at graduation to say goodbye. She thought that her feelings would have gone away but they didn’t. It scared her to know that she still cared so much about you.”
“So how did she know she was gay?”
“She kept trying to forget about you but she’d always end up going out with or taking a blonde home with her. She didn’t do it on purpose; she didn’t even realize she was doing it until I said something.”
“God, I feel terrible.”
“Quinn, she always knew that you cared for her and didn’t know how to deal with it, she knew that you couldn’t deal with it, not growing up in the family you did, that’s why she never pushed. She wanted you to come out in your own way, what was best for you.”
“I was just so mean,” Quinn shook her head. “How do you do that to someone you love?”
“Did she tell you that she forgives you?”
“Yes.”
“Do you think she would have lied to you?”
“No.”
“So the real problem, besides you being her doctor right now, is that you haven’t forgiven yourself, am I right?” Quinn nodded. “So what will it take?”
“I honestly don’t know,” Quinn sighed.
“I suggest you figure it out, for both of you,” the older brunette said. “I’d bet my life on her still feeling just as strongly for you as she always has if not more,” she said.
“I think with all the shameless flirting she’s been doing, you’re probably right and it’s pretty hard for me to concentrate. If I’m not thinking about her being half naked when she was changing into her gown I’m hoping and praying to God she won’t die. I haven’t prayed since I was sixteen,” Quinn sighed.
“I’m going to ignore the naked part… and you’re also afraid to get kicked off the case considering you’re the best resident they have on staff, I did a little research,” she said when Quinn’s mouth fell open. “She would want you by her side, she won’t ever say it more than wishing it or mentioning she enjoys your presence, but you know what’s going on and she doesn’t. While that comforts her, she also has to endure it when you’re not around.”
“You seem to know her pretty well,” Quinn said gently.
“I got to know her a little bit, but the more I talked to Leroy and Hiram the more I knew she was like me. She babbles incessantly, uses large words, and has the confidence to outshine everyone. She is crazy sometimes, intense, ambitious, and talented. She’s also selfish sometimes and wants things she cannot have. She loves stars especially gold ones and her voice is downright amazing,” Shelby explained.
“I know, her voice is what drew me to her.”
“It killed me to not be in her life, but that’s how they wanted it. I know I was selfish when it came to Beth. I wanted a baby not a teenager and I know how much that hurt her. I couldn’t be what she needed then because I didn’t know how.”
“She forgave you, always did,” Quinn said.
“I know, and that’s Rachel, it’s just how she is. She doesn’t hold a grudge, she always wants to help, and she’s an amazing person.”
“I don’t deserve her.”
“Why?”
“Because look at her, look at all the things you just said about her. I don’t deserve her kindness, her love. I don’t deserve her.”
“Then spend your life making her see that you do, if not for her sake, because we both know she will always forgive you, for your own. It will only hold you back if you don’t. If you truly want to be with her and you want to prove to yourself you’ve change then do it. If that’s what it takes and you love her that much, prove it to yourself and eventually you will see you aren’t the same person, because even though you know it in your heart, your subconscious is still telling you that you will never change. So make your subconscious see things the way you do.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“No, it’s not, but you could start by being what Rachel needs, and putting aside your own feelings right now. I know how it sounds and I know it’s not my decision to make, but I know you want to be here and be her doctor and you can’t do both,” Quinn nodded knowing Shelby was right.
Quinn sat down and stared at Rachel. She looked so small so pale, she hated seeing her like that especially knowing there was little she could do about it. Her pager went off and she apologized. “I have to go. I’ll be back as soon as I can; if she wakes up will you have the nurse page me?”
“Of course,” she nodded.
Dr. Lauritz was in her office when Quinn walked in sitting at her desk. The blonde sighed and sat down across from her mentor. "Take me off the case," she said quietly but firmly.
"Weren't you just telling me not so long ago that you were fine?" she asked. Quinn nodded. "What changed?"
"I'm in love with her," Quinn said softly.
"Has it affected your judgment or work yet?"
"Well no, but..."
She was cut off, "Then we'll revisit this at a later date when it does start to affect you." She paused and walked around the desk. "I paged you because we need to get a neurological consult, see if there was any brain damage. So go take her for some scans. I'll talk to the mother, get her medical history, and then we might be able to finally get somewhere closer to saving her."
“You don’t get it, I love my job. I love it, every second of it. I love the OR. I love cutting. But I love her more. Yes I want to help, yes I want to be the one to save her life, but I can’t concentrate on anything. It hasn’t affected me yet, but I cannot afford to let it. I’m taking myself off the case,” she shook her head. “If something happened to her and it was my fault because I wasn’t able to be at my best, I would never ever forgive myself,” she said. “I’ll set up the consult and scans but then I’m going to shower and change into normal clothes. If you want me to get you caught up on paper work, I’ll be more than happy to do it,” she said and turned on her heel.
Quinn set up the consult and the scans before she showered. She changed into a pair of jeans, t-shirt, and slipped a Dartmouth hoodie over her head to stave off the cold chill of autumn. She went back to Rachel’s room and the neuro consult was already there. “Dr. Fabray, I thought you were on this case?”
“I was Dr. Henny, I took myself off it,” she said with an unexpected smile.
“Oh, odd.”
“Also none of your business, take the results of the consult to Dr. Lauritz,” she said making it known that it was a personal choice and not a professional one.
“Will do,” he said and finished up checking her eyes. “We’ll be taking her down for scans now,” he said.
Quinn nodded and watched them leave. Shelby was looking rather tattered so she offered to get her some coffee. On her way back up she saw two men at the front counter. “Mr. Berry?” she asked tentatively. Both men turned to look at her. “Follow me,” she said with a knowing smile. They did silently.
She handed Shelby the coffee in her one hand and the other to one of Rachel’s fathers. “Shelby, what are you doing here?”
“She needed someone to be here for her, Hiram,” she said taking the coffee with a smiled thank you.
He sighed, “We tried to leave sooner.”
“You didn’t try hard enough!” the older brunette seethed.
“Don’t you dare speak to me that way! She’s my daughter, I wanted to be here!”
“That’s enough both of you. She wouldn’t want you to be fighting,” Quinn said.
“And just who are you?” Hiram spat.
“Look, I was her doctor. I took myself off the case because my name is Quinn Fabray, we went to high school together, and I’m in love with Rachel.”
Just then Jen walked by. “Wait isn’t that Rachel? Honey!” Leroy shouted at her. The brunette turned around. “Oh my God,” he said eyes wide.
“Uhm, hi?”
“This is Dr. Franks, she’s an intern at the hospital.”
“Jennifer, please,” she said. “I’m also Quinn’s ex,” she smiled.
“Jen!” Quinn sighed deeply.
“Oh, shouldn’t have said that I guess…”
“Who looks exactly like Rachel,” Leroy said and turned to Quinn.
“Yeah that’s sort of why I’m her ex. Both in why we dated and why we are currently just friends,” the brunette explained.
“Wait a minute,” Shelby said holding up her hand. “Quinn, did you date her because of your feelings for Rachel?”
“I, well, sort of. I mean I really liked Jen and she was different, but she looked exactly like Rachel. It was like having the real thing but not really, which is why things never worked out.”
“That’s crazy, she looks exactly like Rachel just with green eyes,” Shelby remarked. “And you didn’t realize you were in love with Rachel?”
“Oh no, she knew,” Jennifer said.
“Then why did you bother if you knew?” Leroy asked.
“Because I couldn’t have Rachel, at least I didn’t think I could.”
“After everything you’ve done to her, you certainly don’t deserve her.”
“Hiram!” Leroy yelled. “That’s not helping, the poor girl probably gives herself enough grief you don’t need to add to it,” he chided his husband.
“I don’t care. Rachel came home almost every day and then cried for hours.”
“And she was over it by dinner,” Leroy reminded him.
Quinn sighed, “I’ll just go, I need to catch up on paper work anyway.”
Shelby stood and grabbed her arm. “Hiram, Leroy. I will say this as nicely as possible because you are Rachel’s fathers. Quinn saved her life. Rachel got up to walk around and then stopped at the children’s ward to sing to them. If Quinn hadn’t found her, she’d be dead right now. So stop thinking about Quinn as a teenager and think of her as the woman who save your daughter’s life. The reason she’s still alive,” she said pointing her finger in Hiram’s face. “Stop bringing up the past, Rachel forgave her a long time ago, it’s time you did, too.”
Everyone just looked at the older brunette who currently had bright red cheeks. “Thank you, but I really do have to catch up on paper work. Will you have the nurse page me when she’s back?” Shelby nodded and gave Quinn a quick hug. The blonde sighed and wrapped her arms around the older woman’s waist and squeezed. “Thanks, I needed that,” she smiled and dragged Jennifer with her. “You’re a damn trouble maker,” she said.
“I didn’t mean to just blurt it out like that.”
“I know, I know. It’s one of the many things the two of you had in common. Kind of like the time she told Finn that the baby was actually Puck’s,” she wryly at the memory.
“She apologized afterwards though,” Jen said.
“She did, and I also know now why she did it. It had nothing to do with Finn, it was always about me. Everything was, I just failed to see it until now.”
“You really love her,” she said looking at the floor.
The blonde nodded, “I really do.”
“I’m sorry I pushed you to stay with me so long.”
“It’s okay; if it wasn’t you it would have been someone else. I’m glad it was you, at least you understood that you would never be her.”
“Did you really mean that back there? About having paper work?”
“Sort of, part of me just needed to get out of there. Shelby sticking up for me like that, Hiram yelling at me, it was just too much.”
“She likes you, Shelby does. It is Shelby right?”
“Yeah,” Quinn laughs lightly.
“She likes you. Come on, let’s get some ice cream. It will make you feel better,” Jen said knowingly. They’d been sitting for several minutes eating out of the same dish of rocky road ice cream when her pager went off. “You’d better go,” Quinn nodded and thanked her for everything. Jen waved her off and told her to go with a smile.
Quinn walked at a fast pace trying to avoid people and made it to Rachel’s room in ten minutes. She looked in seeing both Dr. Lauritz and Dr. Henny. “Good you’re here, her mother refused to start without you,” Dr. Lauritz said mildly irritated. “Dr. Henny, go ahead.”
“We found slight brain damage from the lack of oxygen flow to her brain while she was in v-fib. It took two minutes to revive her; there wasn’t a substantial amount of damage but enough. Her brain needs to heal and recover from the lack of oxygen. She’s going to be in a coma for at least a week which we will induce after the surgery.”
“What surgery?” Shelby asked.
“I’ve looked over her case and the best treatment would be to put her on medicine to lower her blood pressure and insert a pace maker. The pace maker will ensure that there is a regular rhythm as her heart beats. It will solve the issue of the bradycardia. Because of the initial damage to her heart when she was born we need to repair some of the tissue. It is an easy procedure and there shouldn’t be any other complications,” Dr. Lauritz explained.
“When are you taking her?” Hiram asked.
“In the morning, mainly because we want to give her body time to recuperate after having gone through v-fib.”
“Dr. Fabray, may I speak with you outside?” Dr. Henny asked. Quinn nodded and followed. “I won’t lie to you, there’s a chance she will lose her speech and quite possibly her voice. Is that something I should tell them or do you think you should do it?”
Quinn sighed. “I’ll tell them,” she said with a small nod.
Quinn watched the doctors leave and stood in the hallway trying to prepare herself for this next conversation. She couldn’t do it. She ran for the door on her left leading into the stairwell and took the steps two at a time until she was on the roof, her own personal haven. What was she supposed to say? She kicked the gravel. Hey by the way Rachel may never speak properly again let alone sing? She shook her head and looked around. Why? Why did He have to do this to her diva? She might never sing again. Quinn felt the moisture on her cheek but did nothing to stop it. She fell to her knees her hands catching her upper body. Of all the things You could take away from my Rachel, she shook her head, why God, why did it have to be her voice? She hit the ground with her hands. Why damn it?! Why Rachel?!
Title: Breathless
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Rachel/Quinn
Rating: M
Summary: Quinn has to tell the family some bad news.
Disclaimer: They’re not mine, complete and total properties of Fox. Ideas are mine.
A/N: I want to thank everyone for reading and commenting. Your kind words mean the world to me. I hope you can hang on through these next few chapters. They're going to be rough.
Previous Chapters: Chapter One| Chapter Two| Chapter Three
Quinn stirred from sleep and sat upright quickly as her pager made shrill noises in the on call room. She looked down at the offensive object and immediately jumped out of bed. She put her shoes on and ran to the front desk. Standing there was a tall brunette who very much looked like Rachel with twenty years tacked on. Quinn inhaled deeply and walked towards her. “Shelby,” she said uncertainly.
Immediately brown hair whipped around and deep chocolate orbs found hers. “Quinn,” she walked towards the blonde. “How is she?” she asked.
Quinn shook her head, “I haven’t seen her since earlier when I had t-to uhm, maybe you should sit down. I should explain all this to you.”
“Okay?” Shelby said confused but sat down anyway.
Quinn sighed fidgeting with her hands. “Rachel came in a few days ago because of a fainting spell. She went to Presbyterian and they found the heart block, she came here to figure out what was going on. When I was doing some tests she fainted on me so we had her admitted. I ran an MRI to see if there were any major changes in the physical condition of her heart, I didn’t find any major changes but then her blood test came back,” Quinn paused. “The levels we check for when someone’s heart isn’t working properly, they were through the roof. I-we almost lost her. If I hadn’t found her when I did,” she shook her head taking a deep shuddering breath. “I started her heart again but we don’t know the extent of the damage that was caused. At least I don’t anyway, my boss, she made me leave because I got the nurse who let Rachel walk around by herself fired.”
Shelby looked at Quinn, “What was she doing?”
“She was singing to the kids in the children’s ward, God if I hadn’t heard her sing, I don’t know if I would’ve…” Quinn felt the moisture roll down her face and she choked on a sob.
Shelby looked at Quinn nervously and then hugged her. She was shocked at first but relaxed and let the older version of Rachel hug her. “Thank you for caring so much about her,” she whispered gently.
“I love her,” Quinn corrected softly. “So much,” she looked up at Shelby. She wasn’t sure if she had over stepped or not but something about Shelby made her feel safe, like she could tell her anything. She stepped away from the older version of Rachel, wiped her face, and led her to Rachel’s room.
When they got to there she was still unconscious and Dr. Lauritz was gone, a new nurse was checking her vitals. Quinn sighed heavily, her hands trembling, her lip caught between her teeth to keep herself from crying. Her diva was hooked up to machines helping her breathe. It took all of her strength to stay in the room as the beeping became more of a reminder of Rachel’s condition. Shelby moved forward and took the brunette’s small hand in her own. Quinn could tell she was nervous. “I’ll leave you two alone,” she said.
Shelby shook her head, “No, don’t be silly, it’s okay.”
“Are you sure?”
“I know for a fact she’d want you here as much as you could possibly be.”
“I wish I could tell her,” she said hugging herself.
“Why don’t you?”
“Yeah, I could see how that would play out well after all the horrible things I’ve done to her,” the blonde replied sullenly.
“It couldn’t have been that bad,” Shelby said, “Don’t beat yourself up over it.”
“Trust me it was horrible. Every time I saw her I threw insults at her; man hands, treasure trail, RuPaul, freak. I drew pornographic pictures of her on the bathroom stalls. I threw slushies in her face daily which in turn got the whole school to start doing it,” Quinn shook her head as she said all of this. “I wouldn’t want to be with me,” she said just above a whisper.
“I shouldn’t tell you this, because it should come from her, but it seems that you need to hear it. When we tried to put things back together again the last time the reason it didn’t work is because I was making her realize too much too soon. She talked about you constantly and I knew some of the things you did and said to her but she had forgiven you immediately after each and every one. She knew that you had no control over your life at home. She knew that treating her like that gave you control. She would never have taken that from you even if it hurt her feelings. She also told me she had suspicions that you were being abused at home however little it may have been. She knew you were hurting.”
“How?”
“For the same reason she does nothing but talk about you even after the way you treated her,” Quinn sighed. “Look, she cares about you; I know that much for sure. Honestly, I think she loves you and the minute I said it she stopped talking to me. It’s like me saying it made it real for her. It was too much for her to deal with while she was at school.”
“I’m sorry,” Quinn said sincerely.
“I know, and it’s okay it’s not your fault. I’m sure you know how she gets when she freaks out about something. She told me about senior year, that you guys were fighting and all of a sudden she had an overwhelming need to kiss you, but you ignored her for the rest of the year and only spoke long enough at graduation to say goodbye. She thought that her feelings would have gone away but they didn’t. It scared her to know that she still cared so much about you.”
“So how did she know she was gay?”
“She kept trying to forget about you but she’d always end up going out with or taking a blonde home with her. She didn’t do it on purpose; she didn’t even realize she was doing it until I said something.”
“God, I feel terrible.”
“Quinn, she always knew that you cared for her and didn’t know how to deal with it, she knew that you couldn’t deal with it, not growing up in the family you did, that’s why she never pushed. She wanted you to come out in your own way, what was best for you.”
“I was just so mean,” Quinn shook her head. “How do you do that to someone you love?”
“Did she tell you that she forgives you?”
“Yes.”
“Do you think she would have lied to you?”
“No.”
“So the real problem, besides you being her doctor right now, is that you haven’t forgiven yourself, am I right?” Quinn nodded. “So what will it take?”
“I honestly don’t know,” Quinn sighed.
“I suggest you figure it out, for both of you,” the older brunette said. “I’d bet my life on her still feeling just as strongly for you as she always has if not more,” she said.
“I think with all the shameless flirting she’s been doing, you’re probably right and it’s pretty hard for me to concentrate. If I’m not thinking about her being half naked when she was changing into her gown I’m hoping and praying to God she won’t die. I haven’t prayed since I was sixteen,” Quinn sighed.
“I’m going to ignore the naked part… and you’re also afraid to get kicked off the case considering you’re the best resident they have on staff, I did a little research,” she said when Quinn’s mouth fell open. “She would want you by her side, she won’t ever say it more than wishing it or mentioning she enjoys your presence, but you know what’s going on and she doesn’t. While that comforts her, she also has to endure it when you’re not around.”
“You seem to know her pretty well,” Quinn said gently.
“I got to know her a little bit, but the more I talked to Leroy and Hiram the more I knew she was like me. She babbles incessantly, uses large words, and has the confidence to outshine everyone. She is crazy sometimes, intense, ambitious, and talented. She’s also selfish sometimes and wants things she cannot have. She loves stars especially gold ones and her voice is downright amazing,” Shelby explained.
“I know, her voice is what drew me to her.”
“It killed me to not be in her life, but that’s how they wanted it. I know I was selfish when it came to Beth. I wanted a baby not a teenager and I know how much that hurt her. I couldn’t be what she needed then because I didn’t know how.”
“She forgave you, always did,” Quinn said.
“I know, and that’s Rachel, it’s just how she is. She doesn’t hold a grudge, she always wants to help, and she’s an amazing person.”
“I don’t deserve her.”
“Why?”
“Because look at her, look at all the things you just said about her. I don’t deserve her kindness, her love. I don’t deserve her.”
“Then spend your life making her see that you do, if not for her sake, because we both know she will always forgive you, for your own. It will only hold you back if you don’t. If you truly want to be with her and you want to prove to yourself you’ve change then do it. If that’s what it takes and you love her that much, prove it to yourself and eventually you will see you aren’t the same person, because even though you know it in your heart, your subconscious is still telling you that you will never change. So make your subconscious see things the way you do.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“No, it’s not, but you could start by being what Rachel needs, and putting aside your own feelings right now. I know how it sounds and I know it’s not my decision to make, but I know you want to be here and be her doctor and you can’t do both,” Quinn nodded knowing Shelby was right.
Quinn sat down and stared at Rachel. She looked so small so pale, she hated seeing her like that especially knowing there was little she could do about it. Her pager went off and she apologized. “I have to go. I’ll be back as soon as I can; if she wakes up will you have the nurse page me?”
“Of course,” she nodded.
Dr. Lauritz was in her office when Quinn walked in sitting at her desk. The blonde sighed and sat down across from her mentor. "Take me off the case," she said quietly but firmly.
"Weren't you just telling me not so long ago that you were fine?" she asked. Quinn nodded. "What changed?"
"I'm in love with her," Quinn said softly.
"Has it affected your judgment or work yet?"
"Well no, but..."
She was cut off, "Then we'll revisit this at a later date when it does start to affect you." She paused and walked around the desk. "I paged you because we need to get a neurological consult, see if there was any brain damage. So go take her for some scans. I'll talk to the mother, get her medical history, and then we might be able to finally get somewhere closer to saving her."
“You don’t get it, I love my job. I love it, every second of it. I love the OR. I love cutting. But I love her more. Yes I want to help, yes I want to be the one to save her life, but I can’t concentrate on anything. It hasn’t affected me yet, but I cannot afford to let it. I’m taking myself off the case,” she shook her head. “If something happened to her and it was my fault because I wasn’t able to be at my best, I would never ever forgive myself,” she said. “I’ll set up the consult and scans but then I’m going to shower and change into normal clothes. If you want me to get you caught up on paper work, I’ll be more than happy to do it,” she said and turned on her heel.
Quinn set up the consult and the scans before she showered. She changed into a pair of jeans, t-shirt, and slipped a Dartmouth hoodie over her head to stave off the cold chill of autumn. She went back to Rachel’s room and the neuro consult was already there. “Dr. Fabray, I thought you were on this case?”
“I was Dr. Henny, I took myself off it,” she said with an unexpected smile.
“Oh, odd.”
“Also none of your business, take the results of the consult to Dr. Lauritz,” she said making it known that it was a personal choice and not a professional one.
“Will do,” he said and finished up checking her eyes. “We’ll be taking her down for scans now,” he said.
Quinn nodded and watched them leave. Shelby was looking rather tattered so she offered to get her some coffee. On her way back up she saw two men at the front counter. “Mr. Berry?” she asked tentatively. Both men turned to look at her. “Follow me,” she said with a knowing smile. They did silently.
She handed Shelby the coffee in her one hand and the other to one of Rachel’s fathers. “Shelby, what are you doing here?”
“She needed someone to be here for her, Hiram,” she said taking the coffee with a smiled thank you.
He sighed, “We tried to leave sooner.”
“You didn’t try hard enough!” the older brunette seethed.
“Don’t you dare speak to me that way! She’s my daughter, I wanted to be here!”
“That’s enough both of you. She wouldn’t want you to be fighting,” Quinn said.
“And just who are you?” Hiram spat.
“Look, I was her doctor. I took myself off the case because my name is Quinn Fabray, we went to high school together, and I’m in love with Rachel.”
Just then Jen walked by. “Wait isn’t that Rachel? Honey!” Leroy shouted at her. The brunette turned around. “Oh my God,” he said eyes wide.
“Uhm, hi?”
“This is Dr. Franks, she’s an intern at the hospital.”
“Jennifer, please,” she said. “I’m also Quinn’s ex,” she smiled.
“Jen!” Quinn sighed deeply.
“Oh, shouldn’t have said that I guess…”
“Who looks exactly like Rachel,” Leroy said and turned to Quinn.
“Yeah that’s sort of why I’m her ex. Both in why we dated and why we are currently just friends,” the brunette explained.
“Wait a minute,” Shelby said holding up her hand. “Quinn, did you date her because of your feelings for Rachel?”
“I, well, sort of. I mean I really liked Jen and she was different, but she looked exactly like Rachel. It was like having the real thing but not really, which is why things never worked out.”
“That’s crazy, she looks exactly like Rachel just with green eyes,” Shelby remarked. “And you didn’t realize you were in love with Rachel?”
“Oh no, she knew,” Jennifer said.
“Then why did you bother if you knew?” Leroy asked.
“Because I couldn’t have Rachel, at least I didn’t think I could.”
“After everything you’ve done to her, you certainly don’t deserve her.”
“Hiram!” Leroy yelled. “That’s not helping, the poor girl probably gives herself enough grief you don’t need to add to it,” he chided his husband.
“I don’t care. Rachel came home almost every day and then cried for hours.”
“And she was over it by dinner,” Leroy reminded him.
Quinn sighed, “I’ll just go, I need to catch up on paper work anyway.”
Shelby stood and grabbed her arm. “Hiram, Leroy. I will say this as nicely as possible because you are Rachel’s fathers. Quinn saved her life. Rachel got up to walk around and then stopped at the children’s ward to sing to them. If Quinn hadn’t found her, she’d be dead right now. So stop thinking about Quinn as a teenager and think of her as the woman who save your daughter’s life. The reason she’s still alive,” she said pointing her finger in Hiram’s face. “Stop bringing up the past, Rachel forgave her a long time ago, it’s time you did, too.”
Everyone just looked at the older brunette who currently had bright red cheeks. “Thank you, but I really do have to catch up on paper work. Will you have the nurse page me when she’s back?” Shelby nodded and gave Quinn a quick hug. The blonde sighed and wrapped her arms around the older woman’s waist and squeezed. “Thanks, I needed that,” she smiled and dragged Jennifer with her. “You’re a damn trouble maker,” she said.
“I didn’t mean to just blurt it out like that.”
“I know, I know. It’s one of the many things the two of you had in common. Kind of like the time she told Finn that the baby was actually Puck’s,” she wryly at the memory.
“She apologized afterwards though,” Jen said.
“She did, and I also know now why she did it. It had nothing to do with Finn, it was always about me. Everything was, I just failed to see it until now.”
“You really love her,” she said looking at the floor.
The blonde nodded, “I really do.”
“I’m sorry I pushed you to stay with me so long.”
“It’s okay; if it wasn’t you it would have been someone else. I’m glad it was you, at least you understood that you would never be her.”
“Did you really mean that back there? About having paper work?”
“Sort of, part of me just needed to get out of there. Shelby sticking up for me like that, Hiram yelling at me, it was just too much.”
“She likes you, Shelby does. It is Shelby right?”
“Yeah,” Quinn laughs lightly.
“She likes you. Come on, let’s get some ice cream. It will make you feel better,” Jen said knowingly. They’d been sitting for several minutes eating out of the same dish of rocky road ice cream when her pager went off. “You’d better go,” Quinn nodded and thanked her for everything. Jen waved her off and told her to go with a smile.
Quinn walked at a fast pace trying to avoid people and made it to Rachel’s room in ten minutes. She looked in seeing both Dr. Lauritz and Dr. Henny. “Good you’re here, her mother refused to start without you,” Dr. Lauritz said mildly irritated. “Dr. Henny, go ahead.”
“We found slight brain damage from the lack of oxygen flow to her brain while she was in v-fib. It took two minutes to revive her; there wasn’t a substantial amount of damage but enough. Her brain needs to heal and recover from the lack of oxygen. She’s going to be in a coma for at least a week which we will induce after the surgery.”
“What surgery?” Shelby asked.
“I’ve looked over her case and the best treatment would be to put her on medicine to lower her blood pressure and insert a pace maker. The pace maker will ensure that there is a regular rhythm as her heart beats. It will solve the issue of the bradycardia. Because of the initial damage to her heart when she was born we need to repair some of the tissue. It is an easy procedure and there shouldn’t be any other complications,” Dr. Lauritz explained.
“When are you taking her?” Hiram asked.
“In the morning, mainly because we want to give her body time to recuperate after having gone through v-fib.”
“Dr. Fabray, may I speak with you outside?” Dr. Henny asked. Quinn nodded and followed. “I won’t lie to you, there’s a chance she will lose her speech and quite possibly her voice. Is that something I should tell them or do you think you should do it?”
Quinn sighed. “I’ll tell them,” she said with a small nod.
Quinn watched the doctors leave and stood in the hallway trying to prepare herself for this next conversation. She couldn’t do it. She ran for the door on her left leading into the stairwell and took the steps two at a time until she was on the roof, her own personal haven. What was she supposed to say? She kicked the gravel. Hey by the way Rachel may never speak properly again let alone sing? She shook her head and looked around. Why? Why did He have to do this to her diva? She might never sing again. Quinn felt the moisture on her cheek but did nothing to stop it. She fell to her knees her hands catching her upper body. Of all the things You could take away from my Rachel, she shook her head, why God, why did it have to be her voice? She hit the ground with her hands. Why damn it?! Why Rachel?!