Five times a cat (or kitten) has gotten the best of Torchwood
Still working my way through the Five Things Meme. This would have been up yesterday but yesterday was a bit manic. This one is for tanarian's amazing computer using cat. *g*
Five times a cat (or kitten) has gotten the best of Torchwood
Tosh swore loudly and hit the scanner with the side of her hand. “I know it’s here somewhere. It’s not just a scanner malfunction.” She glared at Owen.
Owen held both hands up in a placating gesture. “I didn’t say anything!”
“You were thinking it!” accused Tosh.
“Tosh …” said Gwen carefully. “We’ve been looking for three days, maybe it’s not what you think it is?”
“There’s something saturated in rift energy moving round the Hub. It’s…” The scanner beeped. “It’s on its way to Jack’s office!”
“Ianto, Jack, Tosh says it’s with you. Can you see anything?” said Gwen into her comm.
“I think Jack might have got it, come on up,” replied Ianto.
The three of them rushed up to the office. But instead of the invading alien they were expecting they found Jack holding a tiny blue-grey kitten.
“That’s it!” exclaimed Owen loudly. “That’s what Tosh has had us chasing!”
“Shush!” hissed Jack with a glare. “You’ll scare Stella.”
Owen rolled his eyes while Tosh waved the scanner over ‘Stella’.
“Stella?” asked Gwen.
“She looks like a Stella. Don’t you think?” replied Jack with a grin.
“She’s covered in rift energy,” said Tosh. “Dangerously high levels, she must have fallen through and tripped the alarms. We couldn’t get a location because she’s so small. She’s been all over the Hub, leaving crossing trails.”
Jack let the kitten bat at his fingers. “Aren’t you just the cutest little alien invader ever?”
Ianto appeared with a saucer of milk. Stella jumped out of Jack’s grip onto the desk top. She butted Ianto’s hand with her head in thanks and then delicately started lapping at the milk.
“Where did you find her?” asked Gwen.
“She was asleep in Jack’s coat pocket,” said Ianto with a smile.
“Right then,” said Owen. “Disaster over. Lift the lockdown, I’m going home.”
**
“Down the next street!” came Tosh’s voice over the comm. Jack ran down the pavement he could hear Owen’s foot steps behind him. He turned the corner and… nothing.
“Tosh?” he said into his earpiece. “Are you sure? I can’t see her anywhere.”
“The trackers active… she should be at the bottom of the alley you’re in,” replied Tosh.
Owen caught up. He’d been running as long as Jack and Jack’s breaths were coming in short pants as he trying to drag more air into his lungs. But Owen wasn’t breathing hard. Owen wasn’t even breathing. Jack tried not to wince, Owen current undead sate was Jack’s fault but it was still creepy.
Jack wondered if this was how the Doctor felt about him. So he made a concerted effort to ensure Owen never saw how much this bothered him.
“No weevils here, Tosh,” said Owen. “Are you sure that tracker of yours is working?”
Before Tosh could voice the rude reply that was no doubt forming in her head there was a hissing sound coming from behind the large bin at the far end of the alley. It was followed by a mournful wailing noise.
“Hold that thought Tosh. I think we found our girl,” said Jack. He moved closer to the bin and peered round. He had to fight the urge to laugh.
Janet was curled up in the corner, trying desperately to get away from the tiny black cat who was hissing and spitting at her. Just behind the cat was a cardboard box, Jack could just make out the shapes of several kittens inside.
**
“Oh that’s horrible!” said Gwen aghast.
“I thought you liked cats,” said Ianto unable to tear his eyes away from the SUV.
“I do,” protested Gwen. “But… just look at them all. Staring. It’s like something out that film. ‘The Birds’…
There were nearly twenty cats of various sizes lounging on the SUV. One sitting curled on the bonnet lazily opened an eye and peered at Jack. It stretched a front leg out across the bodywork as if to say “your car is shiny and I have sharp claws.” A large tabby cat on the roof arched its back and hissed. Jack took an unconscious step backwards.
“Tell you what,” said Jack carefully, trying to keep eye contact with twenty cats at once. “We’ll take Ianto’s car, sort those weevils out. Then we’ll come back and deal with this.”
“Good idea,” agreed Ianto.
“But what about all the equipment?” asked Gwen.
Jack grinned at her. “You’ve known Ianto how long? Do you really think he doesn’t have emergency kit in his boot?”
**
“Teaspoons,” said Ianto out of the blue putting Gwen’s coffee down on her desk.
“Huh?” replied Gwen eloquently looking up from her compact mirror.
“You’ve been looking in that mirror poking at your eye on and off all morning,” explained Ianto with a smirk. “If you put teaspoons from the fridge over your eyes it will reduce the puffiness.”
“How do you know these things?” asked Gwen.
“I know everything. What have you been up to then, to give you puffy eyes? Rhys keeping you up?”
Gwen grinned “You are awful. But I like you.” She sighed “No. Next door’s bloody tom cat. Fighting or shagging or whatever, the stupid creature caterwauls into the early hours of the morning.
“In that case,” said Ianto gathering up the empty cups and moving away from the desk. “I’d suggest a shotgun.”
**
She appeared in the Hub at 17.45 on a Tuesday afternoon right in front of Gwen’s desk. Ianto was handing out the afternoon coffee, Gwen was finishing up to head home, and Jack was doing whatever it was Jack did when he should be doing paperwork.
“Good day,” she said with a small bow. “I am Novice Hame, My Lord requires me to be here at this time. I expect you shall put me in a cell?”
Jack ran down from his office and after the inevitable ‘yes Gwen she’s a cat’ conversation and an interrogation session that didn’t get them anywhere Ianto showed her to the most comfortable cell they had.
Which wasn’t all that comfortable really, but it was the cleanest. Ianto liked her, he felt bad about locking her up with the weevils. She completely refused to even look at Jack. Muttering something about it not being her place.
She stayed for three days, then disappeared as mysteriously as she had arrived. It was three months before they realised the strange artefact they couldn’t quite identify but was almost certainly harmless had disappeared with her.
Five times a cat (or kitten) has gotten the best of Torchwood
Tosh swore loudly and hit the scanner with the side of her hand. “I know it’s here somewhere. It’s not just a scanner malfunction.” She glared at Owen.
Owen held both hands up in a placating gesture. “I didn’t say anything!”
“You were thinking it!” accused Tosh.
“Tosh …” said Gwen carefully. “We’ve been looking for three days, maybe it’s not what you think it is?”
“There’s something saturated in rift energy moving round the Hub. It’s…” The scanner beeped. “It’s on its way to Jack’s office!”
“Ianto, Jack, Tosh says it’s with you. Can you see anything?” said Gwen into her comm.
“I think Jack might have got it, come on up,” replied Ianto.
The three of them rushed up to the office. But instead of the invading alien they were expecting they found Jack holding a tiny blue-grey kitten.
“That’s it!” exclaimed Owen loudly. “That’s what Tosh has had us chasing!”
“Shush!” hissed Jack with a glare. “You’ll scare Stella.”
Owen rolled his eyes while Tosh waved the scanner over ‘Stella’.
“Stella?” asked Gwen.
“She looks like a Stella. Don’t you think?” replied Jack with a grin.
“She’s covered in rift energy,” said Tosh. “Dangerously high levels, she must have fallen through and tripped the alarms. We couldn’t get a location because she’s so small. She’s been all over the Hub, leaving crossing trails.”
Jack let the kitten bat at his fingers. “Aren’t you just the cutest little alien invader ever?”
Ianto appeared with a saucer of milk. Stella jumped out of Jack’s grip onto the desk top. She butted Ianto’s hand with her head in thanks and then delicately started lapping at the milk.
“Where did you find her?” asked Gwen.
“She was asleep in Jack’s coat pocket,” said Ianto with a smile.
“Right then,” said Owen. “Disaster over. Lift the lockdown, I’m going home.”
**
“Down the next street!” came Tosh’s voice over the comm. Jack ran down the pavement he could hear Owen’s foot steps behind him. He turned the corner and… nothing.
“Tosh?” he said into his earpiece. “Are you sure? I can’t see her anywhere.”
“The trackers active… she should be at the bottom of the alley you’re in,” replied Tosh.
Owen caught up. He’d been running as long as Jack and Jack’s breaths were coming in short pants as he trying to drag more air into his lungs. But Owen wasn’t breathing hard. Owen wasn’t even breathing. Jack tried not to wince, Owen current undead sate was Jack’s fault but it was still creepy.
Jack wondered if this was how the Doctor felt about him. So he made a concerted effort to ensure Owen never saw how much this bothered him.
“No weevils here, Tosh,” said Owen. “Are you sure that tracker of yours is working?”
Before Tosh could voice the rude reply that was no doubt forming in her head there was a hissing sound coming from behind the large bin at the far end of the alley. It was followed by a mournful wailing noise.
“Hold that thought Tosh. I think we found our girl,” said Jack. He moved closer to the bin and peered round. He had to fight the urge to laugh.
Janet was curled up in the corner, trying desperately to get away from the tiny black cat who was hissing and spitting at her. Just behind the cat was a cardboard box, Jack could just make out the shapes of several kittens inside.
**
“Oh that’s horrible!” said Gwen aghast.
“I thought you liked cats,” said Ianto unable to tear his eyes away from the SUV.
“I do,” protested Gwen. “But… just look at them all. Staring. It’s like something out that film. ‘The Birds’…
There were nearly twenty cats of various sizes lounging on the SUV. One sitting curled on the bonnet lazily opened an eye and peered at Jack. It stretched a front leg out across the bodywork as if to say “your car is shiny and I have sharp claws.” A large tabby cat on the roof arched its back and hissed. Jack took an unconscious step backwards.
“Tell you what,” said Jack carefully, trying to keep eye contact with twenty cats at once. “We’ll take Ianto’s car, sort those weevils out. Then we’ll come back and deal with this.”
“Good idea,” agreed Ianto.
“But what about all the equipment?” asked Gwen.
Jack grinned at her. “You’ve known Ianto how long? Do you really think he doesn’t have emergency kit in his boot?”
**
“Teaspoons,” said Ianto out of the blue putting Gwen’s coffee down on her desk.
“Huh?” replied Gwen eloquently looking up from her compact mirror.
“You’ve been looking in that mirror poking at your eye on and off all morning,” explained Ianto with a smirk. “If you put teaspoons from the fridge over your eyes it will reduce the puffiness.”
“How do you know these things?” asked Gwen.
“I know everything. What have you been up to then, to give you puffy eyes? Rhys keeping you up?”
Gwen grinned “You are awful. But I like you.” She sighed “No. Next door’s bloody tom cat. Fighting or shagging or whatever, the stupid creature caterwauls into the early hours of the morning.
“In that case,” said Ianto gathering up the empty cups and moving away from the desk. “I’d suggest a shotgun.”
**
She appeared in the Hub at 17.45 on a Tuesday afternoon right in front of Gwen’s desk. Ianto was handing out the afternoon coffee, Gwen was finishing up to head home, and Jack was doing whatever it was Jack did when he should be doing paperwork.
“Good day,” she said with a small bow. “I am Novice Hame, My Lord requires me to be here at this time. I expect you shall put me in a cell?”
Jack ran down from his office and after the inevitable ‘yes Gwen she’s a cat’ conversation and an interrogation session that didn’t get them anywhere Ianto showed her to the most comfortable cell they had.
Which wasn’t all that comfortable really, but it was the cleanest. Ianto liked her, he felt bad about locking her up with the weevils. She completely refused to even look at Jack. Muttering something about it not being her place.
She stayed for three days, then disappeared as mysteriously as she had arrived. It was three months before they realised the strange artefact they couldn’t quite identify but was almost certainly harmless had disappeared with her.