my eccentric thoughts of today

Jul 25, 2006 13:14

Two things I've been thinking about today that seem somehow related ( Read more... )

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tofulope July 25 2006, 02:23:16 UTC
That's a lot how I think. I wouldn't rule out having kids, but I don't think I want any of my own.

On the other hand I do like children and would really like to have a close involvement in bringing them up, a non-religious equivalent of a Godmother - at least how godparents should be - type arrangement.

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szellem July 25 2006, 05:14:06 UTC
I like and respect children in a general sense, but I don't like them in the "I must have one" type of way. To me, a child is a person who deserves respect and fair treatment like anyone else, and is a colossal commitment. I know myself well enough to see that parenting is not a commitment I'm willing to make.

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el_jaso July 25 2006, 04:57:35 UTC
Less and less common these days, but some Maori families have the extended family playing a greater role in raising children. Ignoring the simple "cheap babysitting" idea, it seems like a good way for children to really learn, in the right setting. I'm sure having a wider spread influence could really have it's benefits.

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tofulope July 25 2006, 05:04:11 UTC
Certainly in pre-industrial socieies that was (and is) quite normal, as the parents were of an age to be working in the fields, and house work and childcare was carried out by the grandparents (a tradition that seems to have remained, as you say, particularly in Maori families). The practice is having something of a resurgance generally as it becomes the norm for both (or the only) parent to be working outside the home.

It's been suggested (I personally disagree) that the reason people live beyond child-bearing age is for that very reason.

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szellem July 25 2006, 05:15:50 UTC
Yeah definitely. To me it just makes sense that more people have some degree of influence, instead of just two or one parent(s) having it all.

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secretsquirrel2 July 25 2006, 21:13:37 UTC
Not to suggest your mind will change but I was pretty confident most of my life I'd never want kids. I was never into them. At about the same time the idea of a relationship became important to me I did a total 180 on kids.

Families are pretty instinctive. Most animals have some sort of family organization. Which is not to say there is anything wrong with more communal raising. I think larger social institutions are a good thing. It's just most people want to raise kids their way and don't take kindly to interference. So for most people it just wouldn't be practical and would probably lead to fights. Still for some people it would probably beneficial. Communism is one of those things that sounds great in principle but generally doesn't work out to well in practice.

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szellem July 26 2006, 01:42:31 UTC
Well, we're apparently quite the opposite in that regard. Back when the idea of a relationship became important to me, the idea of kids became even more repugnant to me than it currently is. To me, it sounded like a good way to interfere with spending time with the person I was in the relationship with and make the relationship stressful and mundane. (Now, neither a relationship nor kids appeal to me, but that's quite another can of worms).

Most animals also never see their kids again after the kids grow up and leave home. To me, the human family institution is a fairly unusual and not neccessarily good thing in the animal kingdom.
I certainly understand that a parent doesn't want others possibly hurting their kid. As far as other influencing their kid's personality and values etc., that's understandable but IMO quite a possessive way of viewing another human being.

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secretsquirrel2 July 26 2006, 01:45:15 UTC
Well that's the point people are quite possessive.

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szellem July 26 2006, 01:51:10 UTC
I never said they weren't. I find it an unfortunate fact though.

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