Comments | szaleniec1000: Hogwarts Too Exposed Chapter 2 part 1

szaleniec1000

Hogwarts Too Exposed Chapter 2 part 1

Nov 29, 2011 21:49

It's back.

( Hogwarts Too Exposed Chapter 2 )

show don't tell, separated by a common language, the pansexual '50s, did not do the bloody research, i can has characterisation, are you a witch or not, hogwarts school of oratory, hogwarts roboticised, americanisms in the potterverse, damning with faint praise, nudity for everyone, hermione in name only, epithet overload, harry potter, badfic:hogwarts too exposed, continuity isn't optional, literally stupid

Comments 43

sickbritkid2 November 30 2011, 04:07:21 UTC

All hail the sacred virginity!

And, once again, the emphasis on virginity reminds me of the unfortunate implications Neil gave of Ron getting sloppy seconds while Hermione got "pure, twoo wub!"

szaleniec1000 November 30 2011, 08:40:47 UTC

I don't recall if there was a huge point made about how Harry was with Ginny but was never actually with her, but it's a moot point because his First Time™ was with Hermione anyway.

sickbritkid2 November 30 2011, 04:10:45 UTC

The Draco/Ron conflict follows from canon, but it would have been nice if it had been acknowledged somewhere in the 160,000+ preceding words before it became a major point of contention in the story. Especially regarding how Ron's lycanthropy affects the situation.

Tck, tck, tck. Oh, poor szaleniec, still thinking that Neil could possibly make use of the GOOD aspects of his fanfic(this situation, the Slytherin arc, ect), when there's naked little girls for him to describe in loving detail...

szaleniec1000 November 30 2011, 08:42:15 UTC

This isn't "he wasted a perfectly good plot" so much as "wait, where the hell did that come from?" but still, good point.

sickbritkid2 November 30 2011, 04:11:59 UTC

The dialogue is down to the usual standard, you'll have noticed. For best results it should be read aloud by Microsoft Sam.

I actually have it cued to Shift-Delete on my Macbook for easy access.

sickbritkid2 November 30 2011, 04:14:56 UTC

Because Hermione is always one to see the best in everyone:

PINK HOODIE POWAH!

sickbritkid2 November 30 2011, 04:16:19 UTC

Tennis or volleyball. In the nude. You may now grasp the relevant parts of your anatomy in sympathy pains.

I've been doing it ever since that little clutch of whores grabbed Harry by the balls and haven't let them go...