Ada Oktem
Ada, my maternal grandmother, passed away Wednesday of pneumonia. She was 88.
Ada was Italian, married a German (my grandfather, Eric Lochner, passed away a decade ago), and moved to Turkey. They eventually got divorced and she remarried a Turk, Ayden Oktem. As I recall, she worked for years for an American cigarette company in Turkey.
She was an amazing woman who was active, candid, and sharp right to the end, beloved by everyone she met. She spoke several languages: English, French, Italian, and Turkish at the least. She was an excellent cook and a fantastic knitter - she could crank out a gorgeous sweater in a week. She loved mystery novels...
This is really just a pencil outline of her - I don't know many of the facts of her life, just what she was like, which is the important part. I didn't see her as often as I would have liked, since she was in Turkey. She'd come over for a few months every so often, or we'd go to Turkey.
My Ada story:
A couple of years ago, Ada was in the states with Mom. I was visiting with her while Mom was out doing some chores. I don't know how the topic turned to religion, but she asked me "Do you believe in God?"
I'm an atheist, have been since I was 14. I've long since gotten past my early militancy, realizing that it's just another religion like any other. So I don't really talk about it unless it's germane to the conversation, and then I'm matter-of-fact about it. But this was my gramma! I had no idea of her religious beliefs - technicallly she's Catholic, but I didn't know her to practice. I didn't want to upset her, but...
I took a deep breath, and, bracing myself, said as matter-of-factly as I could, "No, I don't believe in God."
Her response: "Good! God is for stupid people."
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Ada Oktem, folks! My gramma. We all miss her terribly.
-Nick
Ada was Italian, married a German (my grandfather, Eric Lochner, passed away a decade ago), and moved to Turkey. They eventually got divorced and she remarried a Turk, Ayden Oktem. As I recall, she worked for years for an American cigarette company in Turkey.
She was an amazing woman who was active, candid, and sharp right to the end, beloved by everyone she met. She spoke several languages: English, French, Italian, and Turkish at the least. She was an excellent cook and a fantastic knitter - she could crank out a gorgeous sweater in a week. She loved mystery novels...
This is really just a pencil outline of her - I don't know many of the facts of her life, just what she was like, which is the important part. I didn't see her as often as I would have liked, since she was in Turkey. She'd come over for a few months every so often, or we'd go to Turkey.
My Ada story:
A couple of years ago, Ada was in the states with Mom. I was visiting with her while Mom was out doing some chores. I don't know how the topic turned to religion, but she asked me "Do you believe in God?"
I'm an atheist, have been since I was 14. I've long since gotten past my early militancy, realizing that it's just another religion like any other. So I don't really talk about it unless it's germane to the conversation, and then I'm matter-of-fact about it. But this was my gramma! I had no idea of her religious beliefs - technicallly she's Catholic, but I didn't know her to practice. I didn't want to upset her, but...
I took a deep breath, and, bracing myself, said as matter-of-factly as I could, "No, I don't believe in God."
Her response: "Good! God is for stupid people."
-------
Ada Oktem, folks! My gramma. We all miss her terribly.
-Nick