Reset 1/3 (Draws XVI) Pike/Dael/Kirk/McCoy, NC-17
Title: Reset (Draws XVI)
Author: syredronning aka Acidqueen
Series: Reboot aka ST:XI aka AOS - Draws Series
Codes: Pike/Dael/Kirk/McCoy, John/Eric, others OCs
Rating: NC-17. Warnings: serious mindfuck, character death, complicated pregnancy, emotionally intense subjects.
Word count: 24.000 in whole
Author's Note: Always remember: This series comes with a happy ending guarantee, so all will be well :)
Thanks for the wonderful beta go to shagungu, my eternal savior. All remaining flaws are solely mine.
This story is also available at AO3.
Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom owns Star Trek, I own my brain.
Summary: There are plans… and there is fate.
***
Some women flourish when they're pregnant, or so Chris reads on the many information portals he's been surfing since Dael had delivered the unexpected news three weeks ago.
Dael, as it turns out, isn't one of them. Her body, always on the edge of what is considered normal (weight, body fat, hormones), seems to be more of an antagonist than an ally, and it leads to some appointments at SFM for nutritional supplements. The problem is worsened by her tendency to feel sick, and not just in the morning; more often than not, her meal ends flushed away in the toilet, which in turn makes her more reluctant to eat. He watches the almost daily drama rather helplessly, relegated to offering paper towels and a shoulder to lean on. It's possibly a way of paying back all those times when their roles had been inverted.
But the doctors say they'll be able to manage this, so Chris has ample time to deal with the other large elephant in the room.
"Did you tell Jim already?" he asks far too often, and shakes his head about her negative reply. He understands her reluctance, though.
"I guess I haven't really thought it through, what it will mean for him," Dael had admitted in their very first night after the revelation. "That he might choose a planetside career for the baby, when he actually wants to be out in space. They're talking about bringing families onboard of spaceships - maybe he would like that?"
Chris had had to squash that idea. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I once mentioned the topic to him, and he was ready to tear my head off for the very suggestion. He's absolutely set against putting children in danger. With his history, I can understand that."
In fact, Chris thinks that Jim has some very definite, probably overly idealistic ideas about what family life should look like - basically everything he didn't have himself - and between this and Dael's attempt to recreate the memories of her own happy family, they're bound to run into a few disagreements. Even if everything else, like the question of Jim's career on Earth, can be settled acceptably.
Having a largely negative family background himself, Chris doesn't have much of an idea how he wants to live in the future, only what he wants to avoid at all costs. Like, taking on a pater familias role. Though it might be hard - just three weeks into this new adventure, Chris finds himself toggling between stepping back mentally to leave the actual father position free for Jim and bouts of what he still considers caveman impulses, which make him annoyingly overprotective and alpha-male.
No surprise that Dael remains a little insecure about his attitude regarding her pregnancy.
Still, the elephant isn't about him but Jim.
"I understand your reluctance," Chris says after yet another shake of her head to The Question. "But if you don't tell Jim, I will."
"I don't want to tell him in a recording," Dael says defensively.
"I asked Mori; they'll have a direct contact window in seven days, when they'll stop to perform routine maintenance on the Ares Transmitter Relay Station 402. That's the best opportunity."
Her face brightens on the prospect of yet another grace period. "Good. I'll tell him then." She ponders, staring down at her small portion of food. "Or maybe I should send Leonard a recording in advance?" she asks nervously a minute later.
"Tell them together."
Dael nods, still in thought. "Leonard won't like it, will he?" she asks a minute later.
Chris sighs. They've gone through the various possibilities before, and while he knows that much of Dael's behavior as of late is dominated by her hormonal uproar, he sometimes thinks he could've done without that much femaleness in his life.
"Leonard wants Jim to be happy, that's his most important goal in life," Chris explains once more. "He might not like that it will make Jim return to Earth much earlier than planned, but if Jim wants this, he'll come with him. He's often considered coming back to Earth - this way, he can have it all, Jim being safe and with him."
Rubbing her bottom lip with one finger, Dael nods once more.
"Come on, let's eat," he says and tackles his plate.
"Dael…," Chris says a minute later when she does nothing but poke at the steak in front of her. "Do you want something else?"
"No," Dael replies instantly, but without any inclination to cut the meat tackles the vegetables instead.
She stops after three bites, paling in a way he knows far too well. Pushing her chair back, she hastens to get up.
"Stay seated and eat something, you need it," Dael says with a very fake-looking wink before she leaves towards their bedroom. Seconds later, the tell-tale sound of puking reaches Chris' ears. Unable to just eat through it, he puts down his fork. The doctors said they'd manage - he just hopes they'll do that soon, his own doctor had already admonished him for having lost some more weight when he should instead be gaining.
They're quite a team, Chris thinks with a sigh, getting up to follow Dael for the symbolic support she never asks for but is always thankful for.
***
Still the man without a major project - and trying very hard to keep it that way, as he has every intention to retire within the next few months --- Chris is shanghaied to help out at the Academy's Children's Day the next day. All right, he was asked, and after a first impulse to decline he'd decided that he might as well get used to having children in his proximity. None of his colleagues knows their news yet, and he wants to keep it that way for a while - it could only lead to another intense bout with the rumor mill which they could all live without.
Standing around in his dress uniform makes Chris feel like an actor, though, and he's relieved when a young, very nervous ensign asks him whether he'd like to oversee the simulation room. As the age limit is ten and above, the children there are already quite grown-up and well-behaved, possibly already considering a future as cadets.
As the station seats are limited, he gets a PADD in hand to read the names of the lucky few who'd been pulled by chance.
"Terri Fo, V'Sne, Terrence Cho, Michael and Thomas Barrister -" Chris stops on tracks. Barrister? He looks at the children; two boys, about twelve and ten, blond hair, green and brown eyes, just the right age… and then he looks at their mother standing behind them, female figure, long hair, good-looking. It's her slightly shocked stare, recognition morphing into something between surprise and concern, that tells him that he's right.
These are Alain's boys.
He freezes in place, eyes locked with hers - he can't even remember her name, something with a C or G. Thankfully, the nervous ensign from before appears out of the blue, taking over and ushering the children into the simulator.
It leaves him with the parents, including the still staring woman. She makes a hesitant step towards him. "Would you meet me to talk?" she asks in a low voice, then, not waiting for an answer, pulls a piece of paper out of her bag and scribbles something onto it.
"Here," she says, pushing the note into his hand. "My number. Call me if you feel like it."
And then she leaves.
***
"Whose number is it?" Dael asks when he puts the piece of paper onto the kitchen table that night.
"Alain's wife. Or ex-wife, I don't even know," Chris says and leaves to change out of uniform.
When he returns, Dael has put the food on the table; yet another Romulan dish, he's not too fond of them, but she obviously has a craving lately and he'd survive a few months on this diet.
It's the paper with the contact number, lying prominently in the middle of the table, that really ruins his appetite tonight.
"Why her number?" Dael asks.
He explains how he got it, then falls silent.
"So - do you want to talk to her?"
"I don't know," Chris admits. He'd been so good at forgetting all about Alain, reconciling the leftover memories of their last night in a way that leaves his ex perfectly out of his life. Alain is history, past madness, an experience he'd never repeat.
"Did she look like she wanted to accuse you of anything? Did she want revenge for anything?"
Chris thinks back at the woman; she'd looked a little shocked on recognizing him but that was to be expected. Other than that, she'd been quite composed - definitely more composed than he had been.
"No, I don't think so."
Dael tilts her head. "Then why don't you want to talk with her?"
"If I do… chances are a part of Alain will return to my life," Chris says slowly.
"And you don't want that?" Dael asks.
Chris mutely shakes his head. "No."
"Then don't meet with her."
Sound advice, but Chris can feel his inner resistance which probably signals his true wish. "It's so weird. The boys look so much like him…" he murmurs thoughtfully. In front of him, the food turns cold.
Dael takes his hand, squeezing it with an encouraging smile. "Then talk to her."
"Guess I will," Chris says, still undecided but inclined to follow Dael's suggestion.
***
His go-to person when he feels challenged is T'Sol, but when he goes in for a quickly arranged meeting with her, he finds her usually calm, well-ordered room full of boxes. Neatly aligned, of course, but definitely out of order.
"I'm leaving for New Vulcan," T'Sol says as she notices his frown.
"When would you have told me?"
"Tomorrow."
"In a message to my phone?" Chris asks a little sourly.
T'Sol avoids his gaze.
"You never gave any indication that you wanted to leave Earth."
"Sometimes, personal preferences have to step back for the good of the many." T'Sol says overly calmly.
"I see. So who's the lucky guy?" Chris asks coolly, taking a seat.
"A noble man," T'Sol says. "Who offers his hand in companionship, so that our Houses may join and contribute to the future of Vulcan."
Despite having argued the biological necessity with Dael, Chris feels resentment rising. It's clear that T'Sol wouldn't have chosen this of her own free will. She's a wonderful person, a great healer - she deserves happiness in her life as much as any of her patients.
T'Sol takes a seat herself. "You wanted to speak with me?"
He can't stop looking at the boxes. What Alain and his wife did, what Dael is doing … it's a choice, a want, a freely made decision. T'Sol, on the other hand, is going to subject herself to the needs of her species.
"It is not a sacrifice," T'Sol says.
"It's not?" Chris asks back, critical and challenging.
She holds his gaze for a moment, then looks down at her folded hands.
"They can't force you," he says.
"But I want children," she replies softly. "Any living being does, unless it is heading for annihilation."
"Well, I didn't," Chris says, shocked by his own, sudden realization. Dael's dream… it'd been just that to him, wishful thinking without a chance of becoming reality in the near future. "I don't want to be a father," he adds, and feels a weight leaving him at his admission. All the biological and cultural shit that's built into that role, all the memories he'd tried to erase… He likes to play the mentor and guide for other people's grown-up children, but having his own…
No, that was never his dream.
"What will you do now?" T'Sol asks, in her usual calm, so very sure way as if she knows all his secrets, has read his deepest thoughts - and maybe she did. Chris shrugs helplessly. She keeps him waiting; she's waiting for his answer, and he knows he needs to give one before they can move on.
"What will you do?" she asks again.
"I'll do my best to be there for Dael," he says lamely. "And I'll do anything in my might to protect her and the child."
She's got that look in her eyes that tells him she's not satisfied with his answer. He closes his eyes, listening inside.
"That's all I can give right now," he says slowly after a moment, allowing the pain of his perceived failure to wash over him before letting it dissipate in acceptance. "Being a true father… I'll leave that to Jim."
T'Sol reaches out, and for the first time ever, he takes her hand. It's dry and warm.
"I don't want you to leave," Chris says, trying to convey in his touch all those many reasons, selfish and altruistic, why he thinks that it's not a good choice for her.
"We all choose our destiny," she says, a ghost of a smile lingering on her lips. "Every day, with every decision, we make a step in a certain direction. You chose Dael and she chose you, and as long as you remember that, you will be able to withstand all storms and all challenges."
Chris swallows dryly, reverently curling his hands together as if to conserve the feeling of her touch.
"We are done for today," T'Sol says and gets up, as if this isn't goodbye for possibly forever. "I will send you a message with information about two other healers you might contact for follow-up, if you wish. May your life be as interesting as you want it to be." Her parting words in his ears, he's out in the garden and soon out of the main door of the Embassy, feeling bereft and sad, half on her behalf, half on his own.
***
Her name is Carmen, and she's the one Alain had left him for.
That's the gist of Chris' knowledge about her, when they meet for lunch a day later.
"Thank you for talking to me," Carmen says, looking at him from under low lashes. She seems to be as nervous as he might feel, if not for his strong mental protections in place. This is going to be about Alain, and he's not going to risk a backlash now that T'Sol is gone.
"What did you want to talk about?" Chris asks, sipping at his coffee, the only thing he feels able to stomach right now.
For a moment, she looks away before focusing back on him. "It might sound stupid, but I didn't even know about your existence for the longest time."
Chris doesn't comment on that, only fiddles with the handle of the cup between his fingertips. Taking his silence as encouragement, she goes on, "Of course there were rumors in the company, and someone told me he'd been living with a man, but he never appeared to be in a relationship, you know? He always showed up alone at company events, always had time to work late in the evenings when he was needed. He also didn't wear a ring or anything, and when I hit on him on that one evening - " she blushes a little - "he didn't really resist. So in the end, I thought the rumors were false."
She's right, Chris concedes; while he wasn't really in the closet with Alain, he'd also never ever shown up to any of those business social occasions that Alain had liked to participate in. Not being a fan of such events anyway, he'd taken part in his share of unavoidable Starfleet gatherings, but hadn't seen a need to join Alain for any, perfectly satisfied to stay in the background.
Besides, it would've been Alain's job to explain his situation to Carmen or anyone else, if necessary - if he had wanted to. Obviously, he hadn't.
"The night he called and asked if he could move in, he claimed his landlord had thrown him out." Carmen looks at him. "I guess that was actually you throwing him out."
Feeling compelled to talk at last, Chris nods. "Yes. That night, I told him I'd resign and stay within the solar system for him… and he admitted in return that he had planned on my leaving for another tour so that he could start a life with you, without having to break up with me face to face."
She draws a face. "That must've been hard."
Chris shrugs.
"Well - for a while, we worked well together. Started a family, had the boys…you saw them at the simulator."
Chris nods.
"But then I found out that he was meeting lots of men behind my back, always looking for quick sex." Carmen doesn't look disgusted, mostly frustrated and sad. "It wasn't seeing someone else that hurt me, but that he'd lied to me over and over again across the years, breaking every promise he had ever made. In the end, I threw him out. I'm sorry for that today. If I hadn't done it, he might still be around… and he wouldn't have gone back to you, almost killing you." She falls silent.
Chris clears his throat. "You did what you had to do, and I think it was the right choice. Alain wasn't reliable, and he wasn't really - clean of drugs. When we met by chance, he was unhappy and in a low place. But he only got back into my life because someone blackmailed him, and I guess for most of our time together, he was under enormous pressure. What he did to me was wrong, but I don't think he actually wanted to hurt me. I wasn't in a very good state myself, and he thought he could help me. His method, however…"
Carmen nods. "That's what I deduced from the interviews after his disappearance, when they asked me about Alain's state and business situation. I hadn't seen him for months at that point, and I didn't know what to tell them. But I finally learned about you."
Chris lets go of his cup at last. "Why did you want to meet me?" he says directly.
"I don't know," she says quietly. "I guess I wanted to get to know the man he'd been with before me - and after."
"Well, you have."
She frowns a little. "Maybe I sometimes wonder if I ever met the real Alain, or whether everything about him was a lie. Learning about you was a surprise, but at least you're real. A real person who related to him, who probably knows other facets of him than I did."
Chris could ask what she does, how she goes on living with Alain's fate still unresolved, what the boys’ future plans are, but there's suddenly a strong, clear feeling inside of him that no, he doesn't want this to go any further, doesn't want to have anything of Alain back in his life where it doesn't belong anymore. His ex had made his choices, Carmen had made her choices, and they all had more or less gotten what they'd wanted.
"I need to leave." He gets up. "The coffee's on me."
Her frown deepening, Carmen looks up at him. "Maybe more, another time?"
"I don't think so," Chris says bluntly. "Goodbye." He can't even bring himself to shake her hand, repulsed by the idea of physical contact. Her expression somewhere between hurt, confusion and slight anger, he takes that memory with him as he walks away.
When he gets home, Dael looks at him curiously, but he shakes his head, glad when she never asks.
Despite not having given his number to Carmen, she tries to call him twice but then he puts her onto his ignore list. Maybe the boys will enter Starfleet Academy, but he'll have long retired at that point.
He's happy to forget this whole episode.
***
The next days pass quickly, and tomorrow they'll be making The Call to their men, in which Dael will finally tell Jim about the baby. They're both a little on edge the evening before, going to bed later than planned, and he needs longer than usual to fall asleep.
It had to be a few hours later when Chris wakes up to a sound in the adjacent bathroom. Instantly alert, he listens, waiting for the characteristic noises of Dael heaving up, but there's only silence.
There's too much silence, he realizes startled, and jumps out of bed.
When he opens the door, the bright red on the floor gives a strong sense of deja-vu. And then he sees Dael, curled between the wall and the toilet as a small, lifeless ball, and his inner walls snap up, all colors flushing out.
"Dael!" he rasps, taking her stained hands and lifting her face. Her eyes are closed and she's frighteningly white, her body unresponsive. On her oversized tee, there's some blood too.
"Dael! Talk to me!" he tries in a more commanding voice, although he himself notes the plain desperation in his voice, it has no effect on her.
Rushing out, he grabs his comm and sends an emergency call to SFM, code 010102 for a life-threatening level one emergency, one person in danger, two to beam up.
Five minutes, they signal him back. Five minutes in which he grabs the next best thing to dress and puts their IDs in his jeans.
The beam warning comes in three, and he's next to Dael again, holding his comm between them so that the operator can easily lock on his signal.
When they rematerialize, it's to a team of five people, four of which rush to Dael's unmoving body to start the emergency routine, while one woman leads him aside, taking care of him. With them both being frequent guests of SFM, the woman doesn't even ask for their IDs, only leads him to a nearby waiting room where she whips out a bed, telling him to take a nap. They’ll instantly inform him if there is any new information.
A nap is the farthest thing from Chris' mind, but the moment he lies down, his body decides that such a shock at three-o-fuck in the morning isn't tolerable, and sleep washes over him.
***
It's forty minutes later that he snaps up from the stupor, awoken by nightmares of an intensity he hadn't had since T'Sol’s intervention. He's still shaking when he gets up, the world strangely shallow and unreal, everything bleak and flat.
For a moment Chris tries to bring back all three dimensions, but then stops the attempt - what good would it do if they brought any disastrous news about Dael? There was so much blood, he can't help thinking the worst. Pacing back and forth in the waiting room, he tries hard to rope in his thoughts of doom, but Leonard's prophetic warnings regarding Dael's health keep ringing in his ears. For a moment Chris really wishes Dael - and Jim, dammit - had been more careful, aside of the complications the pregnancy had brought to their planning…
But this is pointless; she's got to live, she's got to, they'll be able to deal with everything else but if anything happens to her…
Chris stops abruptly as a doctor walks into the room, heading right towards him. Letting his arms fall down to his sides, he braces himself for the news.
"Admiral Pike?" the man asks superfluously.
"Yes," Chris says tightly. "How's Dael?"
"Fine, and sleeping off the sedation. We located and stopped the bleeding. It was caused by a subchorionic hematoma."
"And the baby?"
"Is safe. There was only a small danger of miscarriage."
A large weight drops from Chris' chest, and he takes a deep breath. "Thank you, doctor. Can I see her?"
"As I said, she's asleep, but of course you can visit her. We'd like to keep her here for the next several hours, just as a precaution."
"Good."
"We moved her to another room. Please follow me." The doctor leads the way, and seconds later, Chris stands next to her. Dael still looks deadly pale under the tattoos, her tiny figure almost lost in the bed, and he gives the doctor a concerned gaze.
"She's doing fine," the man says after a glance at the panels above her. "It was more the shock than the actual blood loss."
"If you say so," Chris says a little doubtfully. It had looked like a lot to his eyes, but he'd probably been a little shocked too. Catching her hand, he notices how cold her fingers are, and starts rubbing them. He sits with her for a while, until another doctor looks in and reminds him that if he doesn't take care of himself now, he'll likely end in a bed next to her. The man gives him a code to lock onto her panel and get an alert when she wakes up, so he can take the time to eat and drink something.
Chris knows the man is right, so he gives in to the advice and leaves the room for the time being. The cafeteria is already busy, and he feels strange in the sloppy tee and jeans he'd grabbed in the rush but nobody else seems to mind.
When he's through one cup of coffee and half a cheese bagel, he notes his blinking comm.
1 missed long-distance call. Kirk, James T., NCC-1701.
Chris sags back into his chair. Their pre-arranged call. The one in which Dael wanted to inform Jim about the pregnancy. Jim had left a text message, and Chris opens it.
Anything wrong? You missed our appointment, and Bones just told me that he received notification that you engaged a medical emergency beam-up.
Please, call us ASAP.
Concerned, Jim
What shitty timing, Chris thinks blankly. They've got such a small contact window, and he can't leave SFM while he's waiting for Dael to come around.
But suddenly his potential saving angel is in sight, as his own current doctor, Ramon Fernandez, enters the room, apparently even on the lookout for him. The man rushes over to Chris.
"I just was informed by a colleague," Fernandez says, shaking his hand and holding it in a warm, comfortable touch for a moment. "Glad to hear your partner is out of danger. Can I do something for you?"
"Actually yes. I'm in urgent need for a console that's certified for long-distance, high-security calls with ships."
For a second, Fernandez frowns in a way that could only end in a sorry, we don't have one available, but then he suddenly smiles. "I can't offer such a console here, but I guess my own should be enough to connect to your office, and you can get relayed from there."
"Damn, I should've remembered that myself," Chris says, shaking his head.
"Shock and little sleep will do that to your thinking," Fernandez says. "I'll get you to my office with a fresh cup of coffee, and then leave you alone for the call."
"Brilliant. You're a life-saver," Chris says, relieved beyond words.
"All in a day's work." The doctor smiles.
***
"Chris!" Jim exclaims when they finally establish the connection. For a long moment they check him through the visuals, their shoulders slightly relaxing when he seems to be okay, but of course they also note the missing fourth of their cloverleaf.
"Are you okay? And where's Dael?" Leonard asks.
"First of all, we're okay… now. There was an emergency and I needed to get Dael beamed in."
"What kind of emergency?"
Even when initiating the call, Chris wasn't sure whether he should divulge the secret, but facing the question he decides that he will - it's long overdue anyway, and Dael would probably be relieved if he tackled this.
"There have been pregnancy complications," Chris states.
He's not surprised to see two sets of jaws dropping, the eyes of his lovers widening when the word settles.
"Pregnancy complications?" Leonard repeats roughly.
Chris nods. "That's the actual news we had for you - congratulations, Jim, you're going to be a father."
Jim looks absolutely star-struck for a moment, then he starts smiling, a deep, flaringly happy smile that spreads from his lips all over his face and illuminates his eyes to the brightest blue Chris has ever seen.
"Father?" Jim manages at last. "This is… I can't even… this is awesome. Fantastic!"
There's not the least doubt that the news is ecstatically welcome by Jim, a fact that puts Chris's mind at peace; a small part of him had wondered whether Jim would dislike the news, considering what it might mean to his career. But at least right now, there's nothing but abundant happiness radiating from the captain.
Leonard, as Chris had already assumed, doesn't share that level of happiness, but that might also have to do with Dael's state, because he says, concerned and wistfully, "Ah, I wish I had asked Dael to become her consulting physician too, then I could've had a look at her data. I'm not surprised she's having a hard time but I might've been able to help…"
"Bones - " Jim says and shakes his head. "I'm sure they'll look after her - and Chris is, right?" He looks back at Chris, a bit more composed again.
"It's a boy, by the way," Chris says.
"That's... just whoa. And you're really sure it's mine?" Jim asks. "Because, well…"
"Natural conception couldn't happen with me."
"Oh?" Both men look surprised.
"It might not be in my medical file," Chris adds for clarification, "but I got myself tested a while ago. I can't be the father, and she verified that in hospital. It's got to be yours."
Jim shakes his head, then nods again, dozen of thoughts visibly running through his mind, mirroring in his features.
"This is incredible," Jim mutters, absent-mindedly running his fingertips over his bottom lip. "This changes everything - everything."
"Actually, I thought it would only make our plans come to pass a few years earlier than we originally thought," Chris says lightly. "You know, the farm and family thing."
The lingering frown on the doc's forehead deepens over Chris' words, but Jim nods, the smile back full-fledged. "You really want that? I mean - it's such a fantastic dream, I never really thought it would happen, you know." Sobering once more, Jim says, "Are you really okay with all this, Dael carrying my child?"
Chris rolls his eyes. "How can you even ask such a silly question? If you care to remember, despite our partnership ceremony we're all in this relationship together and it's always been the plan to go official with the four of us in the future. So while it was a surprise to me, I don't see any reason why we shouldn't see our plan through. Get a farm, put you into an awesome career path on Earth and the doc on the fast track for the Nobel laureate, and raise a family with Dael."
"And what about your career?"
"I've been considering retirement for weeks, and I've decided to do just that." Chris waves his hand to sweep away all possible objections. "And don't think that's a sacrifice, I'm tired of the 'fleet and love the prospect of having some horses and a house-building project. After three decades of service, I don't mind trying something else for a change."
Jim happily beams at him, while the doc's face is still serious. Chris badly wishes he could have a moment just with Leonard, but doesn't know how to ask for that without making Jim feel uncomfortable.
"Bones…" Jim says suddenly, looking to his side.
"If that's what you want, Jim, Earth and a farm and the four of us together there, it's fine by me," Leonard says simply. "Congratulations, lover-boy." He leans over and kisses his husband.
Afterwards, Jim looks a little flushed, clearing his throat. "When can I talk to Dael?"
"She's still asleep and I doubt she'll wake up before the connection window closes," Chris says apologetically, wishing he had better news. "But I’m recording this conversation and I think she'll be very relieved that you liked the news, and will send you a recording as soon as she can."
"Right. Yes. I'll have to wait for that," Jim says composed. "Only ten minutes left." He looks at his husband once again, then back at the screen. "There's so much I'd like to say to you, Chris, but I guess the two of you could use a few minutes to yourself. So - thank you so much for the news and for your support and your love and taking care of Dael. I'm going to pull all the strings I can to get us to Earth ASAP - maybe Illyon even still has that ground posting she offered to me."
"Oh - well, maybe," Chris says a little surprised; this offer is total news to him. Trust Jim to keep some secrets too.
"Perfect. So love and kisses to Dael, I'm looking forward to hearing from her. Take care and we’ll be in touch soon." Jim gets up and after a last squeeze of Leonard's shoulder leaves the room.
The usual silence settles between them for a moment, before Leonard starts, "You're really okay with it?"
"Yes," Chris says. "As long as nobody expects me to become the father figure."
Leonard hums in thoughts. "Not feeling very fatherly, are you?"
"No. Maybe just a not yet, but we'll see."
"Well, Jim's going to love that role," Leonard says. "No doubt about it."
"I didn't know he wanted children quite that much."
"I'm not sure he knew - but if he did, he never shared it with me."
For another moment, they ponder the situation in silence. Then Leonard sighs. "Time's up in five. I'm sorry that I need a bit more time to deal with the news but you're right, we should be able to handle it just fine once the basics are sorted out." He smiles a bit, finally, and Chris answers the uplifting sight with a smile of his own.
"I'm sure we will. Love you, doc." Chris runs one hand over the cam in the virtual touch so often shared. "Hey, the idea of always having you here… it's great."
"Hmmm, having you around every day, yes, I don't think I'll mind that." Leonard's smile broadens, a twinkle in his eyes now as they both think of fantasies about their days… and nights.
"All the games we could play …" Chris puts a teasing kiss on his fingertips.
"Forget that for the first two years, because during that time, you'll be happy about every single minute you manage to sleep," Leonard says, lifting a warning hand.
Chris chuckles. "The voice of reason - I'm sure we'll find a few moments to ourselves, with four caretakers."
"Hope always dies last." There's a slight beep. "Well, got to go, time is up," Leonard says. "Please keep me informed about Dael's situation, and maybe you can get her to sign me on to her case… if she wants to. Have a good time and you'll hear from us very soon, I suppose. Love you, Chris."
"Love you too. Take care, read you soon."
The connection closes, but Leonard's smile seems to linger on the dark-green, blank screen. With a sigh, Chris relaxes. Their conversation had eased most of his concerns, with the one remaining being Dael herself, with her challenging pregnancy. He looks at his comm, the small amount of information available about her state; she's not yet awake yet, so he calls Fernandez to inform him of the end of his call and then leaves the office to join her.
***
This time around, Dael's face has gathered a slightly rosy tint, and her breathing is less shallow, her chest moving up and down with every breath. Chris sits down next to her, taking her hand and caressing it.
Damn, The Talk had really been necessary for his peace of mind, because it was the necessary go signal. Now he could jump right into planning their future home, and having something to keep him occupied is exactly what he needs, a great change from the limbo of the last four weeks.
"Christopher…" Her voice is still weak, but Dael's finally awake and looking at him.
"Hello, darling. So glad you're better," he says, leaning over to give her a kiss.
"What happened?" she asks, then adds in sudden panic, "The baby…?"
"All fine," he says calmly, keeping her hand in a secure, supportive hold. "You were brought here in a medical emergency, but all should be well now. How do you feel?"
She ponders the answer for a moment, then shrugs. "Okay. Exhausted."
"By the way - you missed our conference call, so I decided to inform them on your behalf."
"Oh. What did they say?" she asks hesitatingly.
"You can watch the recording when we're home, but Jim was absolutely happy. He's already making plans for their return to Earth."
Dael's face brightens over the news. "And Leonard….?"
"As I already presumed, he'll follow Jim wherever he goes. And once he realized that being on Earth meant having more time with me, I think he came around to the idea."
Dael smiles. "He'll be great as a father. You all will, I've got no doubt about that."
Having enough doubts of his own, Chris just squeezes her hand.
"Let's see whether we can get a doctor to release you," he says, and walks out to find one.
***
Chris doesn't really know what kind of messages Dael and Jim are exchanging, but they’re doing her good. In fact, now that everything is clear between the four of them, her health on the whole is improving. She's eating more normally and the number of unplanned, strenuous bathroom visits sharply declines. It makes him wonder how many of her pregnancy problems had been solely of psychological origin.
Seeing her flourish improves his own state, and so he puts some of his renewed energy towards exercising again, supported by a new trainer who knows about the limitations caused by his permanent health issues (no use in following his old workout plans when his body has changed as much).
Looking for their perfect future home, he's selected a few farms for closer analysis, the leading option a place that's not very far from Harms, who tipped him off about the opportunity. It's a large acerage, and they'd have to commit to cultivating half of it, while keeping the other half for wildlife. The usual mix for land in that region, and Chris isn't concerned about these restrictions.
The retirement form is already prepared, he only needs to fill the retirement effective from field and send it off on the day when their men are really on Earth. Nobody in the Admiralty except for Mori Illyon knows about his plans and Dael's pregnancy, and she only knows because of course she'd wanted to know Kirk's reason for accepting her offer at last.
Chris isn't so sure about keeping the child a secret for much longer; he's already heard the first negative rumors in the mess hall about why the great Jim Kirk might want to ground himself on Earth, and he'd rather make the truth known. However, this would lead to more pressure on Chris and Dael, and the Enterprise couple won't have that.
When we're on Earth, there's ample time to go public, their men write in a joint message. No need to feed you to the press hounds before that.
This currently leaves Chris still doing odd jobs at the Admiralty, but as nobody expects a lot from him anymore, Chris guesses that his actual retirement won't surprise anyone. He's basically wrapping it up, closing some half-forgotten files, cleaning up a few messy documentations, nothing really important.
And he's extremely fine with it.
***
It's a Thursday afternoon, when Chris finds himself at home in an empty apartment, Dael away with some task for Arissa, and he decides that this might just be the right time to start having some sort of sex life again. It's been on the backburner over the last weeks, in sharp contrast to the time just before, and by now his dick definitely wants some fun again.
He strips and showers, then gets on the bed, taking the doc's (and his) favorite anal toy out of his nightstand, the one with the really gorgeous, sometimes torturous vibrations. Generously spreading lube over it first, he then angles one leg up and nudges the toy into his ready hole.
Chris sighs softly as it slips in and automatically takes the best position right next to his prostate. Lying back, he blindly takes the control and dials it up a notch. The vibration is arousing but still gentle, just the right level for a slow heating up. Curling his left hand around his dick, he slowly strokes it to full standing, thinking about his lovers.
Ah, he really needs more cock in his life again. John had left for another preparatory mission just two days before Dael's news, and having taken Eric with him, Chris is bereft of any easily available dates. But just a few more months, and he'll have all the cock he wants within his greedy reach, both his men - Leonard and Jim. At times he can't quite believe yet that it's really going to happen, and wonders if the fates have yet another unlucky card in their back pockets with which they might spoil their plans.
So far, however, it looks as if he'll have lots of opportunities soon to suck dick and get dick up his ass, and have his own dick deep inside his favorite guys...
His fantasies are getting hotter by the second, embarking on memories of the four of them which had been quite the orgies, and then moving from there to some of the kinkier moments with the doc, remembering bits and pieces of their intense last weekend. It had been so full of sex that it's become quite the blur of snapshots; the doc fucking him tied up on the bed; the doc giving him that absolutely deserved beating; the doc riding him as a ready sex toy…
With a moan, Chris curls to the right, letting his erection slip out of his fingers. Too fast, he needs a break for a moment or he'll just come and then the fun would be over for the evening.
It's when he's catching his breath, cooling down, that the quiet sound of the main door reaches his ears, followed by Dael's light steps in the corridor.
It had been bound to happen, and he probably wanted it to happen… he still feels a little strange when she looks into the bedroom to find him like this, needy and horny with the toy in his ass.
Not quite sure what exactly he wants from her either, he only quietly nods at her. Thankfully, she's cleverer than he is.
"You want me to join in?" she asks. When he nods again, an excited smile lightens up her face. "I'll be back in a minute," she says and vanishes.
Making himself more comfortable by putting his head into the crook of his right arm, he waits. Dael is back fast and settles, still fully dressed in jeans and a white shirt, next to him on the bed.
"Lay back," she says, more a suggestion than an order, "and close your eyes."
Uncurling, he stretches out on the mattress, legs slightly angled to the sides, arms loosely next to his body. He's very hard, and can see her eyes resting on his groin. Still not knowing what she's up to, he dutifully drops his lids.
Something runs up his erection; it's not her hand but something else, more studded.
And then it starts to vibrate, and it's quite an effect; involuntarily coiling upwards with a low groan, he risks a gaze at what looks like a black glove on Dael's hand. It's a great feeling that instantly fuels his arousal to new heights, bringing a flood of heat from the tip of his erection down to his balls and the guiche piercing.
"You like it?" her question drifts in from afar.
"I love it. It's fantastic," he replies throatily. It's also damn teasing and torturous, given that she's applying just enough pressure to make him grow even harder, but not enough to bring him off. Whenever he edges along his climax, she pulls back so that the vibrating touch merely ghosts along his pulsing member, only to come back for more when he's cooled down a little. By the fourth time he's quite ready to take over, but when he reaches out for his erection, she captures his fingers.
"Not yet," Dael says, and this time it's more of a command. "Put your hands behind your head."
After hesitating for a moment, Chris shrugs and does as told.
"I'll go and have a shower. I'll be back in five minutes, and you're going to wait for me."
The command tone intensifies, and this time it works better on Chris. With an expectant smile, he relaxes into the pillow, looking forward to more of her ideas.
Well, at least until Dael sharply dials up the anal toy's vibration, an action that elicits a rather unhappy moan from him. He'd quite forgotten what a beastie this toy could be that is now sending over-stimulating impulses right into his prostate, leaving him more on the suffering side. However, feeling committed to following her orders now, despite her walking out of the room and the controller of the toy still within his reach, he strains to keep his hands behind his head.
All right. If this is their game tonight, he'll add a few more fantasies of his own. The doc had left all of their weekend playthings with Chris - collar, cuffs and belt - but he doesn't actually want to use them with Dael, that would feel wrong. It's enough to imagine - imagine his wrists being cuffed to the collar, his legs folded and tied up, ankles to upper legs in the doc's favorite bondage position, the one where Chris is a ready fuck-toy for his demanding lover. The fantasy brings another bout of heat to his body, as his legs involuntarily arrange themselves to meet his vision.
Rubbing his ass against the mattress, Chris tries to relieve some of the burning tension from the nasty little vibrator, but actually drives it a little deeper, rides himself a little harder on it. Dammit, where's Dael anyway, didn't she say five minutes?
He must've muttered it aloud, because there's a chuckle, and he opens his eyes to find her standing in the door with a rather annoying smirk on her face. Chris frowns at her, and her expression instantly changes, settling into a more normal smile.
"Let's try something new," she says and joins him on the bed, then scoots upwards to sit down on his face. When she settles into position, Chris can't help having a momentary, extremely repulsed reaction to the sight of her vagina. Having the doc do this is one thing - aside from the Narada aftermath, Chris had never had a problem with getting fed some cock. But having a woman do this, forcing herself on him this way…
Chris roughly tears himself out of his funk and closes his eyes, giving Dael's clit a first tentative lick. She tastes perfectly neutral, not even a lot of shower gel; she's done a thorough job knowing that he still doesn't deal well with her natural odor, and he'd better do a thorough job himself now. Stupid reflexes be damned.
She rides him the way she loves it, though in this position that means he's not getting a lot of air, his nose buried between her folds. Still keeping his arms behind his head and willing to satisfy her, he does his best to bring her off. After all, that would finally bring his own release closer, and he's so ready for that.
Once she comes, he can't help himself anymore and quickly rolls them over, powerfully shoving into her. With just a few pushes, he's over the edge and comes so hard that his sight blackens for a moment, his world buried in the white noise in his head. When he resurfaces, he's thankful to find she has switched off the toy in his ass that feels a little raw by now, though that's mostly in his head.
"Thanks for letting me do this," she murmurs, stroking through his hair. "I thought you'd hate it. You know you could've stopped me any time."
"Hmm, yes, I know, but a little challenge is good for me," he says, lying down at her side and fondling her stomach. His fingers slightly drift downwards, where her belly has finally grown a tiny bit - to him it's quite astonishing how invisible the pregnancy still is, despite her slim figure.
"Sometimes you're so strange," Dael says. "You're the only man I know who takes pleasure in enjoying things he doesn't enjoy."
"It's all about interpretation," Chris replies with a shrug. Overcoming obstacles, physical or mental, is something he'd always excelled at, whatever this may say about him, and while he'd needed a few years to bounce back from Nero, he's definitely back now, implant and medicine and constant surveillance notwithstanding.
***
The search for a new captain for the Enterprise turns out to be short when Spock, after thinking over the offer from Jim and the Admiralty for just two day, accepts the promotion. His decision is heartily welcomed in the higher ranks - of whom many, frankly, always had thought Spock to be the better officer of the two. While that's wrong in Chris' opinion, Spock would definitely make a great captain on his own accord, and if this brings Jim and the doc a little faster to Earth, all the better.
By now they're tentatively scheduled to arrive planet-side in just four weeks, which would go by very fast.
Thinking about their future life and all the many possibilities never fails to bring a smile to Chris' face.
***
"The problem's obviously been caused by an unexpected magnesium deficiency, so we gave her a shot to ease the problem," the doctor on duty explains in front of the door where Dael is being treated. "She'll get a prescription for daily doses, so the cramping should decrease."
Chris nods in relief. "It looked quite serious to me," he says, feeling a little strange in retrospective for having initiating another emergency beam-out to SFM. "Glad to hear it wasn’t a critical situation."
"Your wife has a high risk pregnancy, so it's good that you react fast, instead of sitting it out," the doctor says, comforting him. "Don't hesitate to do it again."
"Well, with our tendency to end up here, we probably have our own name tags on a beam console and a bed already," Chris says with a crooked smile.
"That's what we're here for," the doctor says with a smile. "We're doing a last checkup, shouldn't take less than an half an hour. You could wait here or in the cafeteria…"
"I'll wait right here", Chris says, waving at the chairs in this rather empty corner of the floor. The doctor leaves, and he sits down, pulling out the PADD he had the presence of mind to take with him, reading up on the new internal ground posting openings. Despite Mori having offered a position to Jim, Chris is always on the lookout if anything more interesting shows up. The list is quite short, though, and his thoughts stray.
Until two hours ago he'd really thought Dael was in a good state, before she'd started cramping so severely that he'd made another emergency call. Watching her being driven away by the medical team had made his heart sink, wondering whether the baby would really make it to the point of being able to survive a premature birth. Of course, Dael and Jim could always have another one, but it would change all their plans and make their new life together on Earth start with sorrow instead of happiness, something Chris would hate to see. But if despite her frequent checks here she could develop a serious sudden magnesium deficiency, he gets the feeling that the doctors don't quite know how to handle her case - not an uplifting prospect.
Fifteen minutes into his brooding, Dael joins him. She's still quite pale, and despite her repeated claims that she feels better, he's extremely protective on the way back, at home hovering over her as he puts her to bed, delivering tea and cookies to her nightstand.
"Really, I'm better, Christopher," she says once more with her eyes closed, her cool fingers finally warming up a little under his steady caress, but only when she's asleep does he allow himself to calm down a bit.
Eleven weeks in, about twenty-seven weeks left to go… he can only hope they'll make it.
***
Time flies, and with just two weeks left, they start to prepare the apartment, getting rid of some of the junk they'd collected over the last year, making room for two more people instead. Free spots in the main bathroom, free shelves in the kitchen, a new table with two comfortable benches for the terrace - they scale up a little, going from two to four with everything they consider necessary.
It's probably too much but for once, even Chris engages in nest-building behavior.
"They'll love it," he says when Dael shows him the first draft of a "Welcome home" placard she intends to create. In the past, he'd disliked stuff like that, but he considers it an acceptable development to get more relaxed about these little ceremonial touches.
Also, he won't tell anyone that he'd seriously considered buying black-market fireworks for the occasion, which might be more manly, but also a lot more stupid.
They make love on their men's bed because they can, giggling when they shoot a funny picture of their out-fucked selves entangled in the bedding.
We'll put on fresh ones tomorrow, promise! Hearts and kisses, they write below it, and send it off into space.
***
Onto Part 2/3
Author: syredronning aka Acidqueen
Series: Reboot aka ST:XI aka AOS - Draws Series
Codes: Pike/Dael/Kirk/McCoy, John/Eric, others OCs
Rating: NC-17. Warnings: serious mindfuck, character death, complicated pregnancy, emotionally intense subjects.
Word count: 24.000 in whole
Author's Note: Always remember: This series comes with a happy ending guarantee, so all will be well :)
Thanks for the wonderful beta go to shagungu, my eternal savior. All remaining flaws are solely mine.
This story is also available at AO3.
Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom owns Star Trek, I own my brain.
Summary: There are plans… and there is fate.
***
Some women flourish when they're pregnant, or so Chris reads on the many information portals he's been surfing since Dael had delivered the unexpected news three weeks ago.
Dael, as it turns out, isn't one of them. Her body, always on the edge of what is considered normal (weight, body fat, hormones), seems to be more of an antagonist than an ally, and it leads to some appointments at SFM for nutritional supplements. The problem is worsened by her tendency to feel sick, and not just in the morning; more often than not, her meal ends flushed away in the toilet, which in turn makes her more reluctant to eat. He watches the almost daily drama rather helplessly, relegated to offering paper towels and a shoulder to lean on. It's possibly a way of paying back all those times when their roles had been inverted.
But the doctors say they'll be able to manage this, so Chris has ample time to deal with the other large elephant in the room.
"Did you tell Jim already?" he asks far too often, and shakes his head about her negative reply. He understands her reluctance, though.
"I guess I haven't really thought it through, what it will mean for him," Dael had admitted in their very first night after the revelation. "That he might choose a planetside career for the baby, when he actually wants to be out in space. They're talking about bringing families onboard of spaceships - maybe he would like that?"
Chris had had to squash that idea. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I once mentioned the topic to him, and he was ready to tear my head off for the very suggestion. He's absolutely set against putting children in danger. With his history, I can understand that."
In fact, Chris thinks that Jim has some very definite, probably overly idealistic ideas about what family life should look like - basically everything he didn't have himself - and between this and Dael's attempt to recreate the memories of her own happy family, they're bound to run into a few disagreements. Even if everything else, like the question of Jim's career on Earth, can be settled acceptably.
Having a largely negative family background himself, Chris doesn't have much of an idea how he wants to live in the future, only what he wants to avoid at all costs. Like, taking on a pater familias role. Though it might be hard - just three weeks into this new adventure, Chris finds himself toggling between stepping back mentally to leave the actual father position free for Jim and bouts of what he still considers caveman impulses, which make him annoyingly overprotective and alpha-male.
No surprise that Dael remains a little insecure about his attitude regarding her pregnancy.
Still, the elephant isn't about him but Jim.
"I understand your reluctance," Chris says after yet another shake of her head to The Question. "But if you don't tell Jim, I will."
"I don't want to tell him in a recording," Dael says defensively.
"I asked Mori; they'll have a direct contact window in seven days, when they'll stop to perform routine maintenance on the Ares Transmitter Relay Station 402. That's the best opportunity."
Her face brightens on the prospect of yet another grace period. "Good. I'll tell him then." She ponders, staring down at her small portion of food. "Or maybe I should send Leonard a recording in advance?" she asks nervously a minute later.
"Tell them together."
Dael nods, still in thought. "Leonard won't like it, will he?" she asks a minute later.
Chris sighs. They've gone through the various possibilities before, and while he knows that much of Dael's behavior as of late is dominated by her hormonal uproar, he sometimes thinks he could've done without that much femaleness in his life.
"Leonard wants Jim to be happy, that's his most important goal in life," Chris explains once more. "He might not like that it will make Jim return to Earth much earlier than planned, but if Jim wants this, he'll come with him. He's often considered coming back to Earth - this way, he can have it all, Jim being safe and with him."
Rubbing her bottom lip with one finger, Dael nods once more.
"Come on, let's eat," he says and tackles his plate.
"Dael…," Chris says a minute later when she does nothing but poke at the steak in front of her. "Do you want something else?"
"No," Dael replies instantly, but without any inclination to cut the meat tackles the vegetables instead.
She stops after three bites, paling in a way he knows far too well. Pushing her chair back, she hastens to get up.
"Stay seated and eat something, you need it," Dael says with a very fake-looking wink before she leaves towards their bedroom. Seconds later, the tell-tale sound of puking reaches Chris' ears. Unable to just eat through it, he puts down his fork. The doctors said they'd manage - he just hopes they'll do that soon, his own doctor had already admonished him for having lost some more weight when he should instead be gaining.
They're quite a team, Chris thinks with a sigh, getting up to follow Dael for the symbolic support she never asks for but is always thankful for.
***
Still the man without a major project - and trying very hard to keep it that way, as he has every intention to retire within the next few months --- Chris is shanghaied to help out at the Academy's Children's Day the next day. All right, he was asked, and after a first impulse to decline he'd decided that he might as well get used to having children in his proximity. None of his colleagues knows their news yet, and he wants to keep it that way for a while - it could only lead to another intense bout with the rumor mill which they could all live without.
Standing around in his dress uniform makes Chris feel like an actor, though, and he's relieved when a young, very nervous ensign asks him whether he'd like to oversee the simulation room. As the age limit is ten and above, the children there are already quite grown-up and well-behaved, possibly already considering a future as cadets.
As the station seats are limited, he gets a PADD in hand to read the names of the lucky few who'd been pulled by chance.
"Terri Fo, V'Sne, Terrence Cho, Michael and Thomas Barrister -" Chris stops on tracks. Barrister? He looks at the children; two boys, about twelve and ten, blond hair, green and brown eyes, just the right age… and then he looks at their mother standing behind them, female figure, long hair, good-looking. It's her slightly shocked stare, recognition morphing into something between surprise and concern, that tells him that he's right.
These are Alain's boys.
He freezes in place, eyes locked with hers - he can't even remember her name, something with a C or G. Thankfully, the nervous ensign from before appears out of the blue, taking over and ushering the children into the simulator.
It leaves him with the parents, including the still staring woman. She makes a hesitant step towards him. "Would you meet me to talk?" she asks in a low voice, then, not waiting for an answer, pulls a piece of paper out of her bag and scribbles something onto it.
"Here," she says, pushing the note into his hand. "My number. Call me if you feel like it."
And then she leaves.
***
"Whose number is it?" Dael asks when he puts the piece of paper onto the kitchen table that night.
"Alain's wife. Or ex-wife, I don't even know," Chris says and leaves to change out of uniform.
When he returns, Dael has put the food on the table; yet another Romulan dish, he's not too fond of them, but she obviously has a craving lately and he'd survive a few months on this diet.
It's the paper with the contact number, lying prominently in the middle of the table, that really ruins his appetite tonight.
"Why her number?" Dael asks.
He explains how he got it, then falls silent.
"So - do you want to talk to her?"
"I don't know," Chris admits. He'd been so good at forgetting all about Alain, reconciling the leftover memories of their last night in a way that leaves his ex perfectly out of his life. Alain is history, past madness, an experience he'd never repeat.
"Did she look like she wanted to accuse you of anything? Did she want revenge for anything?"
Chris thinks back at the woman; she'd looked a little shocked on recognizing him but that was to be expected. Other than that, she'd been quite composed - definitely more composed than he had been.
"No, I don't think so."
Dael tilts her head. "Then why don't you want to talk with her?"
"If I do… chances are a part of Alain will return to my life," Chris says slowly.
"And you don't want that?" Dael asks.
Chris mutely shakes his head. "No."
"Then don't meet with her."
Sound advice, but Chris can feel his inner resistance which probably signals his true wish. "It's so weird. The boys look so much like him…" he murmurs thoughtfully. In front of him, the food turns cold.
Dael takes his hand, squeezing it with an encouraging smile. "Then talk to her."
"Guess I will," Chris says, still undecided but inclined to follow Dael's suggestion.
***
His go-to person when he feels challenged is T'Sol, but when he goes in for a quickly arranged meeting with her, he finds her usually calm, well-ordered room full of boxes. Neatly aligned, of course, but definitely out of order.
"I'm leaving for New Vulcan," T'Sol says as she notices his frown.
"When would you have told me?"
"Tomorrow."
"In a message to my phone?" Chris asks a little sourly.
T'Sol avoids his gaze.
"You never gave any indication that you wanted to leave Earth."
"Sometimes, personal preferences have to step back for the good of the many." T'Sol says overly calmly.
"I see. So who's the lucky guy?" Chris asks coolly, taking a seat.
"A noble man," T'Sol says. "Who offers his hand in companionship, so that our Houses may join and contribute to the future of Vulcan."
Despite having argued the biological necessity with Dael, Chris feels resentment rising. It's clear that T'Sol wouldn't have chosen this of her own free will. She's a wonderful person, a great healer - she deserves happiness in her life as much as any of her patients.
T'Sol takes a seat herself. "You wanted to speak with me?"
He can't stop looking at the boxes. What Alain and his wife did, what Dael is doing … it's a choice, a want, a freely made decision. T'Sol, on the other hand, is going to subject herself to the needs of her species.
"It is not a sacrifice," T'Sol says.
"It's not?" Chris asks back, critical and challenging.
She holds his gaze for a moment, then looks down at her folded hands.
"They can't force you," he says.
"But I want children," she replies softly. "Any living being does, unless it is heading for annihilation."
"Well, I didn't," Chris says, shocked by his own, sudden realization. Dael's dream… it'd been just that to him, wishful thinking without a chance of becoming reality in the near future. "I don't want to be a father," he adds, and feels a weight leaving him at his admission. All the biological and cultural shit that's built into that role, all the memories he'd tried to erase… He likes to play the mentor and guide for other people's grown-up children, but having his own…
No, that was never his dream.
"What will you do now?" T'Sol asks, in her usual calm, so very sure way as if she knows all his secrets, has read his deepest thoughts - and maybe she did. Chris shrugs helplessly. She keeps him waiting; she's waiting for his answer, and he knows he needs to give one before they can move on.
"What will you do?" she asks again.
"I'll do my best to be there for Dael," he says lamely. "And I'll do anything in my might to protect her and the child."
She's got that look in her eyes that tells him she's not satisfied with his answer. He closes his eyes, listening inside.
"That's all I can give right now," he says slowly after a moment, allowing the pain of his perceived failure to wash over him before letting it dissipate in acceptance. "Being a true father… I'll leave that to Jim."
T'Sol reaches out, and for the first time ever, he takes her hand. It's dry and warm.
"I don't want you to leave," Chris says, trying to convey in his touch all those many reasons, selfish and altruistic, why he thinks that it's not a good choice for her.
"We all choose our destiny," she says, a ghost of a smile lingering on her lips. "Every day, with every decision, we make a step in a certain direction. You chose Dael and she chose you, and as long as you remember that, you will be able to withstand all storms and all challenges."
Chris swallows dryly, reverently curling his hands together as if to conserve the feeling of her touch.
"We are done for today," T'Sol says and gets up, as if this isn't goodbye for possibly forever. "I will send you a message with information about two other healers you might contact for follow-up, if you wish. May your life be as interesting as you want it to be." Her parting words in his ears, he's out in the garden and soon out of the main door of the Embassy, feeling bereft and sad, half on her behalf, half on his own.
***
Her name is Carmen, and she's the one Alain had left him for.
That's the gist of Chris' knowledge about her, when they meet for lunch a day later.
"Thank you for talking to me," Carmen says, looking at him from under low lashes. She seems to be as nervous as he might feel, if not for his strong mental protections in place. This is going to be about Alain, and he's not going to risk a backlash now that T'Sol is gone.
"What did you want to talk about?" Chris asks, sipping at his coffee, the only thing he feels able to stomach right now.
For a moment, she looks away before focusing back on him. "It might sound stupid, but I didn't even know about your existence for the longest time."
Chris doesn't comment on that, only fiddles with the handle of the cup between his fingertips. Taking his silence as encouragement, she goes on, "Of course there were rumors in the company, and someone told me he'd been living with a man, but he never appeared to be in a relationship, you know? He always showed up alone at company events, always had time to work late in the evenings when he was needed. He also didn't wear a ring or anything, and when I hit on him on that one evening - " she blushes a little - "he didn't really resist. So in the end, I thought the rumors were false."
She's right, Chris concedes; while he wasn't really in the closet with Alain, he'd also never ever shown up to any of those business social occasions that Alain had liked to participate in. Not being a fan of such events anyway, he'd taken part in his share of unavoidable Starfleet gatherings, but hadn't seen a need to join Alain for any, perfectly satisfied to stay in the background.
Besides, it would've been Alain's job to explain his situation to Carmen or anyone else, if necessary - if he had wanted to. Obviously, he hadn't.
"The night he called and asked if he could move in, he claimed his landlord had thrown him out." Carmen looks at him. "I guess that was actually you throwing him out."
Feeling compelled to talk at last, Chris nods. "Yes. That night, I told him I'd resign and stay within the solar system for him… and he admitted in return that he had planned on my leaving for another tour so that he could start a life with you, without having to break up with me face to face."
She draws a face. "That must've been hard."
Chris shrugs.
"Well - for a while, we worked well together. Started a family, had the boys…you saw them at the simulator."
Chris nods.
"But then I found out that he was meeting lots of men behind my back, always looking for quick sex." Carmen doesn't look disgusted, mostly frustrated and sad. "It wasn't seeing someone else that hurt me, but that he'd lied to me over and over again across the years, breaking every promise he had ever made. In the end, I threw him out. I'm sorry for that today. If I hadn't done it, he might still be around… and he wouldn't have gone back to you, almost killing you." She falls silent.
Chris clears his throat. "You did what you had to do, and I think it was the right choice. Alain wasn't reliable, and he wasn't really - clean of drugs. When we met by chance, he was unhappy and in a low place. But he only got back into my life because someone blackmailed him, and I guess for most of our time together, he was under enormous pressure. What he did to me was wrong, but I don't think he actually wanted to hurt me. I wasn't in a very good state myself, and he thought he could help me. His method, however…"
Carmen nods. "That's what I deduced from the interviews after his disappearance, when they asked me about Alain's state and business situation. I hadn't seen him for months at that point, and I didn't know what to tell them. But I finally learned about you."
Chris lets go of his cup at last. "Why did you want to meet me?" he says directly.
"I don't know," she says quietly. "I guess I wanted to get to know the man he'd been with before me - and after."
"Well, you have."
She frowns a little. "Maybe I sometimes wonder if I ever met the real Alain, or whether everything about him was a lie. Learning about you was a surprise, but at least you're real. A real person who related to him, who probably knows other facets of him than I did."
Chris could ask what she does, how she goes on living with Alain's fate still unresolved, what the boys’ future plans are, but there's suddenly a strong, clear feeling inside of him that no, he doesn't want this to go any further, doesn't want to have anything of Alain back in his life where it doesn't belong anymore. His ex had made his choices, Carmen had made her choices, and they all had more or less gotten what they'd wanted.
"I need to leave." He gets up. "The coffee's on me."
Her frown deepening, Carmen looks up at him. "Maybe more, another time?"
"I don't think so," Chris says bluntly. "Goodbye." He can't even bring himself to shake her hand, repulsed by the idea of physical contact. Her expression somewhere between hurt, confusion and slight anger, he takes that memory with him as he walks away.
When he gets home, Dael looks at him curiously, but he shakes his head, glad when she never asks.
Despite not having given his number to Carmen, she tries to call him twice but then he puts her onto his ignore list. Maybe the boys will enter Starfleet Academy, but he'll have long retired at that point.
He's happy to forget this whole episode.
***
The next days pass quickly, and tomorrow they'll be making The Call to their men, in which Dael will finally tell Jim about the baby. They're both a little on edge the evening before, going to bed later than planned, and he needs longer than usual to fall asleep.
It had to be a few hours later when Chris wakes up to a sound in the adjacent bathroom. Instantly alert, he listens, waiting for the characteristic noises of Dael heaving up, but there's only silence.
There's too much silence, he realizes startled, and jumps out of bed.
When he opens the door, the bright red on the floor gives a strong sense of deja-vu. And then he sees Dael, curled between the wall and the toilet as a small, lifeless ball, and his inner walls snap up, all colors flushing out.
"Dael!" he rasps, taking her stained hands and lifting her face. Her eyes are closed and she's frighteningly white, her body unresponsive. On her oversized tee, there's some blood too.
"Dael! Talk to me!" he tries in a more commanding voice, although he himself notes the plain desperation in his voice, it has no effect on her.
Rushing out, he grabs his comm and sends an emergency call to SFM, code 010102 for a life-threatening level one emergency, one person in danger, two to beam up.
Five minutes, they signal him back. Five minutes in which he grabs the next best thing to dress and puts their IDs in his jeans.
The beam warning comes in three, and he's next to Dael again, holding his comm between them so that the operator can easily lock on his signal.
When they rematerialize, it's to a team of five people, four of which rush to Dael's unmoving body to start the emergency routine, while one woman leads him aside, taking care of him. With them both being frequent guests of SFM, the woman doesn't even ask for their IDs, only leads him to a nearby waiting room where she whips out a bed, telling him to take a nap. They’ll instantly inform him if there is any new information.
A nap is the farthest thing from Chris' mind, but the moment he lies down, his body decides that such a shock at three-o-fuck in the morning isn't tolerable, and sleep washes over him.
***
It's forty minutes later that he snaps up from the stupor, awoken by nightmares of an intensity he hadn't had since T'Sol’s intervention. He's still shaking when he gets up, the world strangely shallow and unreal, everything bleak and flat.
For a moment Chris tries to bring back all three dimensions, but then stops the attempt - what good would it do if they brought any disastrous news about Dael? There was so much blood, he can't help thinking the worst. Pacing back and forth in the waiting room, he tries hard to rope in his thoughts of doom, but Leonard's prophetic warnings regarding Dael's health keep ringing in his ears. For a moment Chris really wishes Dael - and Jim, dammit - had been more careful, aside of the complications the pregnancy had brought to their planning…
But this is pointless; she's got to live, she's got to, they'll be able to deal with everything else but if anything happens to her…
Chris stops abruptly as a doctor walks into the room, heading right towards him. Letting his arms fall down to his sides, he braces himself for the news.
"Admiral Pike?" the man asks superfluously.
"Yes," Chris says tightly. "How's Dael?"
"Fine, and sleeping off the sedation. We located and stopped the bleeding. It was caused by a subchorionic hematoma."
"And the baby?"
"Is safe. There was only a small danger of miscarriage."
A large weight drops from Chris' chest, and he takes a deep breath. "Thank you, doctor. Can I see her?"
"As I said, she's asleep, but of course you can visit her. We'd like to keep her here for the next several hours, just as a precaution."
"Good."
"We moved her to another room. Please follow me." The doctor leads the way, and seconds later, Chris stands next to her. Dael still looks deadly pale under the tattoos, her tiny figure almost lost in the bed, and he gives the doctor a concerned gaze.
"She's doing fine," the man says after a glance at the panels above her. "It was more the shock than the actual blood loss."
"If you say so," Chris says a little doubtfully. It had looked like a lot to his eyes, but he'd probably been a little shocked too. Catching her hand, he notices how cold her fingers are, and starts rubbing them. He sits with her for a while, until another doctor looks in and reminds him that if he doesn't take care of himself now, he'll likely end in a bed next to her. The man gives him a code to lock onto her panel and get an alert when she wakes up, so he can take the time to eat and drink something.
Chris knows the man is right, so he gives in to the advice and leaves the room for the time being. The cafeteria is already busy, and he feels strange in the sloppy tee and jeans he'd grabbed in the rush but nobody else seems to mind.
When he's through one cup of coffee and half a cheese bagel, he notes his blinking comm.
1 missed long-distance call. Kirk, James T., NCC-1701.
Chris sags back into his chair. Their pre-arranged call. The one in which Dael wanted to inform Jim about the pregnancy. Jim had left a text message, and Chris opens it.
Anything wrong? You missed our appointment, and Bones just told me that he received notification that you engaged a medical emergency beam-up.
Please, call us ASAP.
Concerned, Jim
What shitty timing, Chris thinks blankly. They've got such a small contact window, and he can't leave SFM while he's waiting for Dael to come around.
But suddenly his potential saving angel is in sight, as his own current doctor, Ramon Fernandez, enters the room, apparently even on the lookout for him. The man rushes over to Chris.
"I just was informed by a colleague," Fernandez says, shaking his hand and holding it in a warm, comfortable touch for a moment. "Glad to hear your partner is out of danger. Can I do something for you?"
"Actually yes. I'm in urgent need for a console that's certified for long-distance, high-security calls with ships."
For a second, Fernandez frowns in a way that could only end in a sorry, we don't have one available, but then he suddenly smiles. "I can't offer such a console here, but I guess my own should be enough to connect to your office, and you can get relayed from there."
"Damn, I should've remembered that myself," Chris says, shaking his head.
"Shock and little sleep will do that to your thinking," Fernandez says. "I'll get you to my office with a fresh cup of coffee, and then leave you alone for the call."
"Brilliant. You're a life-saver," Chris says, relieved beyond words.
"All in a day's work." The doctor smiles.
***
"Chris!" Jim exclaims when they finally establish the connection. For a long moment they check him through the visuals, their shoulders slightly relaxing when he seems to be okay, but of course they also note the missing fourth of their cloverleaf.
"Are you okay? And where's Dael?" Leonard asks.
"First of all, we're okay… now. There was an emergency and I needed to get Dael beamed in."
"What kind of emergency?"
Even when initiating the call, Chris wasn't sure whether he should divulge the secret, but facing the question he decides that he will - it's long overdue anyway, and Dael would probably be relieved if he tackled this.
"There have been pregnancy complications," Chris states.
He's not surprised to see two sets of jaws dropping, the eyes of his lovers widening when the word settles.
"Pregnancy complications?" Leonard repeats roughly.
Chris nods. "That's the actual news we had for you - congratulations, Jim, you're going to be a father."
Jim looks absolutely star-struck for a moment, then he starts smiling, a deep, flaringly happy smile that spreads from his lips all over his face and illuminates his eyes to the brightest blue Chris has ever seen.
"Father?" Jim manages at last. "This is… I can't even… this is awesome. Fantastic!"
There's not the least doubt that the news is ecstatically welcome by Jim, a fact that puts Chris's mind at peace; a small part of him had wondered whether Jim would dislike the news, considering what it might mean to his career. But at least right now, there's nothing but abundant happiness radiating from the captain.
Leonard, as Chris had already assumed, doesn't share that level of happiness, but that might also have to do with Dael's state, because he says, concerned and wistfully, "Ah, I wish I had asked Dael to become her consulting physician too, then I could've had a look at her data. I'm not surprised she's having a hard time but I might've been able to help…"
"Bones - " Jim says and shakes his head. "I'm sure they'll look after her - and Chris is, right?" He looks back at Chris, a bit more composed again.
"It's a boy, by the way," Chris says.
"That's... just whoa. And you're really sure it's mine?" Jim asks. "Because, well…"
"Natural conception couldn't happen with me."
"Oh?" Both men look surprised.
"It might not be in my medical file," Chris adds for clarification, "but I got myself tested a while ago. I can't be the father, and she verified that in hospital. It's got to be yours."
Jim shakes his head, then nods again, dozen of thoughts visibly running through his mind, mirroring in his features.
"This is incredible," Jim mutters, absent-mindedly running his fingertips over his bottom lip. "This changes everything - everything."
"Actually, I thought it would only make our plans come to pass a few years earlier than we originally thought," Chris says lightly. "You know, the farm and family thing."
The lingering frown on the doc's forehead deepens over Chris' words, but Jim nods, the smile back full-fledged. "You really want that? I mean - it's such a fantastic dream, I never really thought it would happen, you know." Sobering once more, Jim says, "Are you really okay with all this, Dael carrying my child?"
Chris rolls his eyes. "How can you even ask such a silly question? If you care to remember, despite our partnership ceremony we're all in this relationship together and it's always been the plan to go official with the four of us in the future. So while it was a surprise to me, I don't see any reason why we shouldn't see our plan through. Get a farm, put you into an awesome career path on Earth and the doc on the fast track for the Nobel laureate, and raise a family with Dael."
"And what about your career?"
"I've been considering retirement for weeks, and I've decided to do just that." Chris waves his hand to sweep away all possible objections. "And don't think that's a sacrifice, I'm tired of the 'fleet and love the prospect of having some horses and a house-building project. After three decades of service, I don't mind trying something else for a change."
Jim happily beams at him, while the doc's face is still serious. Chris badly wishes he could have a moment just with Leonard, but doesn't know how to ask for that without making Jim feel uncomfortable.
"Bones…" Jim says suddenly, looking to his side.
"If that's what you want, Jim, Earth and a farm and the four of us together there, it's fine by me," Leonard says simply. "Congratulations, lover-boy." He leans over and kisses his husband.
Afterwards, Jim looks a little flushed, clearing his throat. "When can I talk to Dael?"
"She's still asleep and I doubt she'll wake up before the connection window closes," Chris says apologetically, wishing he had better news. "But I’m recording this conversation and I think she'll be very relieved that you liked the news, and will send you a recording as soon as she can."
"Right. Yes. I'll have to wait for that," Jim says composed. "Only ten minutes left." He looks at his husband once again, then back at the screen. "There's so much I'd like to say to you, Chris, but I guess the two of you could use a few minutes to yourself. So - thank you so much for the news and for your support and your love and taking care of Dael. I'm going to pull all the strings I can to get us to Earth ASAP - maybe Illyon even still has that ground posting she offered to me."
"Oh - well, maybe," Chris says a little surprised; this offer is total news to him. Trust Jim to keep some secrets too.
"Perfect. So love and kisses to Dael, I'm looking forward to hearing from her. Take care and we’ll be in touch soon." Jim gets up and after a last squeeze of Leonard's shoulder leaves the room.
The usual silence settles between them for a moment, before Leonard starts, "You're really okay with it?"
"Yes," Chris says. "As long as nobody expects me to become the father figure."
Leonard hums in thoughts. "Not feeling very fatherly, are you?"
"No. Maybe just a not yet, but we'll see."
"Well, Jim's going to love that role," Leonard says. "No doubt about it."
"I didn't know he wanted children quite that much."
"I'm not sure he knew - but if he did, he never shared it with me."
For another moment, they ponder the situation in silence. Then Leonard sighs. "Time's up in five. I'm sorry that I need a bit more time to deal with the news but you're right, we should be able to handle it just fine once the basics are sorted out." He smiles a bit, finally, and Chris answers the uplifting sight with a smile of his own.
"I'm sure we will. Love you, doc." Chris runs one hand over the cam in the virtual touch so often shared. "Hey, the idea of always having you here… it's great."
"Hmmm, having you around every day, yes, I don't think I'll mind that." Leonard's smile broadens, a twinkle in his eyes now as they both think of fantasies about their days… and nights.
"All the games we could play …" Chris puts a teasing kiss on his fingertips.
"Forget that for the first two years, because during that time, you'll be happy about every single minute you manage to sleep," Leonard says, lifting a warning hand.
Chris chuckles. "The voice of reason - I'm sure we'll find a few moments to ourselves, with four caretakers."
"Hope always dies last." There's a slight beep. "Well, got to go, time is up," Leonard says. "Please keep me informed about Dael's situation, and maybe you can get her to sign me on to her case… if she wants to. Have a good time and you'll hear from us very soon, I suppose. Love you, Chris."
"Love you too. Take care, read you soon."
The connection closes, but Leonard's smile seems to linger on the dark-green, blank screen. With a sigh, Chris relaxes. Their conversation had eased most of his concerns, with the one remaining being Dael herself, with her challenging pregnancy. He looks at his comm, the small amount of information available about her state; she's not yet awake yet, so he calls Fernandez to inform him of the end of his call and then leaves the office to join her.
***
This time around, Dael's face has gathered a slightly rosy tint, and her breathing is less shallow, her chest moving up and down with every breath. Chris sits down next to her, taking her hand and caressing it.
Damn, The Talk had really been necessary for his peace of mind, because it was the necessary go signal. Now he could jump right into planning their future home, and having something to keep him occupied is exactly what he needs, a great change from the limbo of the last four weeks.
"Christopher…" Her voice is still weak, but Dael's finally awake and looking at him.
"Hello, darling. So glad you're better," he says, leaning over to give her a kiss.
"What happened?" she asks, then adds in sudden panic, "The baby…?"
"All fine," he says calmly, keeping her hand in a secure, supportive hold. "You were brought here in a medical emergency, but all should be well now. How do you feel?"
She ponders the answer for a moment, then shrugs. "Okay. Exhausted."
"By the way - you missed our conference call, so I decided to inform them on your behalf."
"Oh. What did they say?" she asks hesitatingly.
"You can watch the recording when we're home, but Jim was absolutely happy. He's already making plans for their return to Earth."
Dael's face brightens over the news. "And Leonard….?"
"As I already presumed, he'll follow Jim wherever he goes. And once he realized that being on Earth meant having more time with me, I think he came around to the idea."
Dael smiles. "He'll be great as a father. You all will, I've got no doubt about that."
Having enough doubts of his own, Chris just squeezes her hand.
"Let's see whether we can get a doctor to release you," he says, and walks out to find one.
***
Chris doesn't really know what kind of messages Dael and Jim are exchanging, but they’re doing her good. In fact, now that everything is clear between the four of them, her health on the whole is improving. She's eating more normally and the number of unplanned, strenuous bathroom visits sharply declines. It makes him wonder how many of her pregnancy problems had been solely of psychological origin.
Seeing her flourish improves his own state, and so he puts some of his renewed energy towards exercising again, supported by a new trainer who knows about the limitations caused by his permanent health issues (no use in following his old workout plans when his body has changed as much).
Looking for their perfect future home, he's selected a few farms for closer analysis, the leading option a place that's not very far from Harms, who tipped him off about the opportunity. It's a large acerage, and they'd have to commit to cultivating half of it, while keeping the other half for wildlife. The usual mix for land in that region, and Chris isn't concerned about these restrictions.
The retirement form is already prepared, he only needs to fill the retirement effective from field and send it off on the day when their men are really on Earth. Nobody in the Admiralty except for Mori Illyon knows about his plans and Dael's pregnancy, and she only knows because of course she'd wanted to know Kirk's reason for accepting her offer at last.
Chris isn't so sure about keeping the child a secret for much longer; he's already heard the first negative rumors in the mess hall about why the great Jim Kirk might want to ground himself on Earth, and he'd rather make the truth known. However, this would lead to more pressure on Chris and Dael, and the Enterprise couple won't have that.
When we're on Earth, there's ample time to go public, their men write in a joint message. No need to feed you to the press hounds before that.
This currently leaves Chris still doing odd jobs at the Admiralty, but as nobody expects a lot from him anymore, Chris guesses that his actual retirement won't surprise anyone. He's basically wrapping it up, closing some half-forgotten files, cleaning up a few messy documentations, nothing really important.
And he's extremely fine with it.
***
It's a Thursday afternoon, when Chris finds himself at home in an empty apartment, Dael away with some task for Arissa, and he decides that this might just be the right time to start having some sort of sex life again. It's been on the backburner over the last weeks, in sharp contrast to the time just before, and by now his dick definitely wants some fun again.
He strips and showers, then gets on the bed, taking the doc's (and his) favorite anal toy out of his nightstand, the one with the really gorgeous, sometimes torturous vibrations. Generously spreading lube over it first, he then angles one leg up and nudges the toy into his ready hole.
Chris sighs softly as it slips in and automatically takes the best position right next to his prostate. Lying back, he blindly takes the control and dials it up a notch. The vibration is arousing but still gentle, just the right level for a slow heating up. Curling his left hand around his dick, he slowly strokes it to full standing, thinking about his lovers.
Ah, he really needs more cock in his life again. John had left for another preparatory mission just two days before Dael's news, and having taken Eric with him, Chris is bereft of any easily available dates. But just a few more months, and he'll have all the cock he wants within his greedy reach, both his men - Leonard and Jim. At times he can't quite believe yet that it's really going to happen, and wonders if the fates have yet another unlucky card in their back pockets with which they might spoil their plans.
So far, however, it looks as if he'll have lots of opportunities soon to suck dick and get dick up his ass, and have his own dick deep inside his favorite guys...
His fantasies are getting hotter by the second, embarking on memories of the four of them which had been quite the orgies, and then moving from there to some of the kinkier moments with the doc, remembering bits and pieces of their intense last weekend. It had been so full of sex that it's become quite the blur of snapshots; the doc fucking him tied up on the bed; the doc giving him that absolutely deserved beating; the doc riding him as a ready sex toy…
With a moan, Chris curls to the right, letting his erection slip out of his fingers. Too fast, he needs a break for a moment or he'll just come and then the fun would be over for the evening.
It's when he's catching his breath, cooling down, that the quiet sound of the main door reaches his ears, followed by Dael's light steps in the corridor.
It had been bound to happen, and he probably wanted it to happen… he still feels a little strange when she looks into the bedroom to find him like this, needy and horny with the toy in his ass.
Not quite sure what exactly he wants from her either, he only quietly nods at her. Thankfully, she's cleverer than he is.
"You want me to join in?" she asks. When he nods again, an excited smile lightens up her face. "I'll be back in a minute," she says and vanishes.
Making himself more comfortable by putting his head into the crook of his right arm, he waits. Dael is back fast and settles, still fully dressed in jeans and a white shirt, next to him on the bed.
"Lay back," she says, more a suggestion than an order, "and close your eyes."
Uncurling, he stretches out on the mattress, legs slightly angled to the sides, arms loosely next to his body. He's very hard, and can see her eyes resting on his groin. Still not knowing what she's up to, he dutifully drops his lids.
Something runs up his erection; it's not her hand but something else, more studded.
And then it starts to vibrate, and it's quite an effect; involuntarily coiling upwards with a low groan, he risks a gaze at what looks like a black glove on Dael's hand. It's a great feeling that instantly fuels his arousal to new heights, bringing a flood of heat from the tip of his erection down to his balls and the guiche piercing.
"You like it?" her question drifts in from afar.
"I love it. It's fantastic," he replies throatily. It's also damn teasing and torturous, given that she's applying just enough pressure to make him grow even harder, but not enough to bring him off. Whenever he edges along his climax, she pulls back so that the vibrating touch merely ghosts along his pulsing member, only to come back for more when he's cooled down a little. By the fourth time he's quite ready to take over, but when he reaches out for his erection, she captures his fingers.
"Not yet," Dael says, and this time it's more of a command. "Put your hands behind your head."
After hesitating for a moment, Chris shrugs and does as told.
"I'll go and have a shower. I'll be back in five minutes, and you're going to wait for me."
The command tone intensifies, and this time it works better on Chris. With an expectant smile, he relaxes into the pillow, looking forward to more of her ideas.
Well, at least until Dael sharply dials up the anal toy's vibration, an action that elicits a rather unhappy moan from him. He'd quite forgotten what a beastie this toy could be that is now sending over-stimulating impulses right into his prostate, leaving him more on the suffering side. However, feeling committed to following her orders now, despite her walking out of the room and the controller of the toy still within his reach, he strains to keep his hands behind his head.
All right. If this is their game tonight, he'll add a few more fantasies of his own. The doc had left all of their weekend playthings with Chris - collar, cuffs and belt - but he doesn't actually want to use them with Dael, that would feel wrong. It's enough to imagine - imagine his wrists being cuffed to the collar, his legs folded and tied up, ankles to upper legs in the doc's favorite bondage position, the one where Chris is a ready fuck-toy for his demanding lover. The fantasy brings another bout of heat to his body, as his legs involuntarily arrange themselves to meet his vision.
Rubbing his ass against the mattress, Chris tries to relieve some of the burning tension from the nasty little vibrator, but actually drives it a little deeper, rides himself a little harder on it. Dammit, where's Dael anyway, didn't she say five minutes?
He must've muttered it aloud, because there's a chuckle, and he opens his eyes to find her standing in the door with a rather annoying smirk on her face. Chris frowns at her, and her expression instantly changes, settling into a more normal smile.
"Let's try something new," she says and joins him on the bed, then scoots upwards to sit down on his face. When she settles into position, Chris can't help having a momentary, extremely repulsed reaction to the sight of her vagina. Having the doc do this is one thing - aside from the Narada aftermath, Chris had never had a problem with getting fed some cock. But having a woman do this, forcing herself on him this way…
Chris roughly tears himself out of his funk and closes his eyes, giving Dael's clit a first tentative lick. She tastes perfectly neutral, not even a lot of shower gel; she's done a thorough job knowing that he still doesn't deal well with her natural odor, and he'd better do a thorough job himself now. Stupid reflexes be damned.
She rides him the way she loves it, though in this position that means he's not getting a lot of air, his nose buried between her folds. Still keeping his arms behind his head and willing to satisfy her, he does his best to bring her off. After all, that would finally bring his own release closer, and he's so ready for that.
Once she comes, he can't help himself anymore and quickly rolls them over, powerfully shoving into her. With just a few pushes, he's over the edge and comes so hard that his sight blackens for a moment, his world buried in the white noise in his head. When he resurfaces, he's thankful to find she has switched off the toy in his ass that feels a little raw by now, though that's mostly in his head.
"Thanks for letting me do this," she murmurs, stroking through his hair. "I thought you'd hate it. You know you could've stopped me any time."
"Hmm, yes, I know, but a little challenge is good for me," he says, lying down at her side and fondling her stomach. His fingers slightly drift downwards, where her belly has finally grown a tiny bit - to him it's quite astonishing how invisible the pregnancy still is, despite her slim figure.
"Sometimes you're so strange," Dael says. "You're the only man I know who takes pleasure in enjoying things he doesn't enjoy."
"It's all about interpretation," Chris replies with a shrug. Overcoming obstacles, physical or mental, is something he'd always excelled at, whatever this may say about him, and while he'd needed a few years to bounce back from Nero, he's definitely back now, implant and medicine and constant surveillance notwithstanding.
***
The search for a new captain for the Enterprise turns out to be short when Spock, after thinking over the offer from Jim and the Admiralty for just two day, accepts the promotion. His decision is heartily welcomed in the higher ranks - of whom many, frankly, always had thought Spock to be the better officer of the two. While that's wrong in Chris' opinion, Spock would definitely make a great captain on his own accord, and if this brings Jim and the doc a little faster to Earth, all the better.
By now they're tentatively scheduled to arrive planet-side in just four weeks, which would go by very fast.
Thinking about their future life and all the many possibilities never fails to bring a smile to Chris' face.
***
"The problem's obviously been caused by an unexpected magnesium deficiency, so we gave her a shot to ease the problem," the doctor on duty explains in front of the door where Dael is being treated. "She'll get a prescription for daily doses, so the cramping should decrease."
Chris nods in relief. "It looked quite serious to me," he says, feeling a little strange in retrospective for having initiating another emergency beam-out to SFM. "Glad to hear it wasn’t a critical situation."
"Your wife has a high risk pregnancy, so it's good that you react fast, instead of sitting it out," the doctor says, comforting him. "Don't hesitate to do it again."
"Well, with our tendency to end up here, we probably have our own name tags on a beam console and a bed already," Chris says with a crooked smile.
"That's what we're here for," the doctor says with a smile. "We're doing a last checkup, shouldn't take less than an half an hour. You could wait here or in the cafeteria…"
"I'll wait right here", Chris says, waving at the chairs in this rather empty corner of the floor. The doctor leaves, and he sits down, pulling out the PADD he had the presence of mind to take with him, reading up on the new internal ground posting openings. Despite Mori having offered a position to Jim, Chris is always on the lookout if anything more interesting shows up. The list is quite short, though, and his thoughts stray.
Until two hours ago he'd really thought Dael was in a good state, before she'd started cramping so severely that he'd made another emergency call. Watching her being driven away by the medical team had made his heart sink, wondering whether the baby would really make it to the point of being able to survive a premature birth. Of course, Dael and Jim could always have another one, but it would change all their plans and make their new life together on Earth start with sorrow instead of happiness, something Chris would hate to see. But if despite her frequent checks here she could develop a serious sudden magnesium deficiency, he gets the feeling that the doctors don't quite know how to handle her case - not an uplifting prospect.
Fifteen minutes into his brooding, Dael joins him. She's still quite pale, and despite her repeated claims that she feels better, he's extremely protective on the way back, at home hovering over her as he puts her to bed, delivering tea and cookies to her nightstand.
"Really, I'm better, Christopher," she says once more with her eyes closed, her cool fingers finally warming up a little under his steady caress, but only when she's asleep does he allow himself to calm down a bit.
Eleven weeks in, about twenty-seven weeks left to go… he can only hope they'll make it.
***
Time flies, and with just two weeks left, they start to prepare the apartment, getting rid of some of the junk they'd collected over the last year, making room for two more people instead. Free spots in the main bathroom, free shelves in the kitchen, a new table with two comfortable benches for the terrace - they scale up a little, going from two to four with everything they consider necessary.
It's probably too much but for once, even Chris engages in nest-building behavior.
"They'll love it," he says when Dael shows him the first draft of a "Welcome home" placard she intends to create. In the past, he'd disliked stuff like that, but he considers it an acceptable development to get more relaxed about these little ceremonial touches.
Also, he won't tell anyone that he'd seriously considered buying black-market fireworks for the occasion, which might be more manly, but also a lot more stupid.
They make love on their men's bed because they can, giggling when they shoot a funny picture of their out-fucked selves entangled in the bedding.
We'll put on fresh ones tomorrow, promise! Hearts and kisses, they write below it, and send it off into space.
***
Onto Part 2/3