[fic] (G1) Trapped Trine Tricolor: Red

[syntia_13]

WARNING!
This story contains slash, non-con, and a little bit of robo-smut. Don't like it, don't read it.
Still here?
OK, then.

Title: Trapped Trine Tricolor: Red
Pairing: Starscream/Vortex
Rating: R 
Warnings: slash, non-con, mentioned and intended torture, all-round Decepticon creepiness.

Timeline - post S2, pre TF:TM.

The first paragraph is a direct

Comments

[jigsaws231]

Wow - that was good. I liked your description of Starscream's notorious whining and the different reactions of all the Combaticons to it.

One thing - "He'd have never thought that Starscream would be such a good laid" should be "good lay" - wrong verb tense. Other than that your English is great.

Hope to read more from you soon.

[syntia_13]

Thank you!
Fixed what you pointed, thanks.
More? I'll see what I can do :)

[dragoness_e]

Mmm, hot!

"Do it again!"

They're both crazy.

However, you have several typos that detract from the writing a bit. Might want to fix those.

[syntia_13]

:D Thanks!
They're both crazy
Well, duh!
Typos? *whines* wheeeeere? I only found one...

[dragoness_e]

Italicized lines are your original lines. Corrected lines are in quotes, with corrected words in boldface.

Vortex, never one to decline small pleasures of live,

Should be "pleasures of life"

having certain distaste to being shot at.

I suggest: "having a certain distaste of being shot at."

if favor of following his own.

"in favor of following his own."

of mentioned 'cons' incompetence.

I suggest: "of the aforementioned 'Cons incompetence."

Megatron would shot him a hostile glare

"Megatron would shoot him a hostile glare"

got few of Decepticons damaged, one of almost every tightly knitted subgroup,

"got a few of the Decepticons damaged, one of almost every tightly-knit subgroup," or possibly, "got more than a few of the Decepticons damaged, one of almost every tightly-knit subgroup,", depending on what you are trying to convey here.

before his spinning gyros had chance to stabilize

"before his spinning gyros had a chance to stabilize"

Starscream finally get around to stare at his captor with fury

"Starscream finally

[syntia_13]

*glomps like an octopus*
ThankYouThankYouThankYouThankYouThankYouThankYou!!!!

"a subject of phase two:"
"the thought of phase three:"

*pokes phases* Why no 'the' ?

I've fixed what you pointed *is dimayed at the amount of errors*
and will re-read it more carefully when I have more spare time.
One more BIG Thanks!

[dunmurderin]

Is good! I like it; like DE said, there's a few little typos here and there, but over all you did a great job!

[syntia_13]

hee, I'm very glad you like the way it turned out :D
Thanks!

[4ti3k4t35]

This was so much fun!

[syntia_13]

hehehehe, I love the icon ;D
Thanks for reading and commenting :)

[ladystarscream]

squeeee!
*thud*

(wow that was hot!)

[syntia_13]

*lends a hand up and a fan*
I take it you liked it :D