Heart That I Call Home
Title: Heart That I Call Home
Rating: PG
Fandom: Degrassi TNG
Pairing: Jay/Spinner
Warning: Slash
Author's Notes: I seem to like the angsty pieces the best. Set after they get expelled and then when Spinner goes back to school.
Progress: 1/1 complete
Prompt: Hurt at nospeakingrule
Summary: I won't be the one to chase you, but at the same time, you're the heart that I call home.
Spinner is hurt by the way his friends have treated him since they found out it was him and Jay that caused Rick to go all psycho and shoot Jimmy. He doesn't expect the anger and the lashing out, doesn't expect the hateful words, the loathing glares sent his way. He's a people person by nature and it hurts that no one will even look at him without anger in their eyes now.
Eventually he comes to the conclusion that the only one still willing to treat him like he's human is Jay and the thought depresses him somewhat, but again, he's a people person, and Jay is better than no one at all, so he'll take what he gets and he won't complain.
He doesn't really know when the hurt starts to fade, just that it does take a while and he thinks that maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with Jay and his hands, lips, teeth, tongue, and eyes. The way he touches him makes him forget that he ever wanted anyone else, that he ever needed anyone else because this is as close to perfection as he's likely to get.
Everything changes when he apologizes and Jimmy finally forgives him. People talk to him, they smile instead of glare, they seek him out instead of avoiding him. And now it's Jay who's hurt, who avoids him, ignoring the way Spinner tries to reach out to him from the center of all his friends.
So Spinner gets caught up in his group of friends and allows Jay to fade into the background. Spinner figures that now that he's gotten his real friends back, they can go on with their old lives. He never expected to miss Jay.
When someone else tries to touch him the way Jay did, he feels disgust. It isn't the same and will never be the same. He wants to hate Jay for making him feel like this, but it's his own fault and he knows it. He goes crawling back to Jay, or at least he tries.
Jay always knew that Spinner would go running back to his old friends if they ever gave him the chance, and he was right. He scoffed and told himself that he didn't need Spinner, never needed him, that he was just a pastime, a way to make that days less boring.
When Spinner comes crawling back to him, he pushes him away, lashing out with anything in their history together that will hurt Spinner. It works, Jay can see the pain in his eyes, but he keeps trying and pushing at all of Jay's defenses until there is nothing left.
Jay finally takes him back and Spinner vows to never leave him again. Sure, his old friends don't approve of Jay, but none of them have what they share.
Jay's the only one he needs anymore.