Wrath (Seven Deadly Sins 6/7)
Title: Wrath
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Royal Pains
Pairing: Onesided Hank/Evan
Warnings: Slashy, incesty thoughts
Progess: 6/7
Author's Notes: More angsty than wrath, but I like it. You can feel his frustration.
Summary: Hank can't deal with his feelings.
When Evan first introduces him to his first boyfriend, he is filled with anger and jealousy. He doesn't show it because Evan is nervous enough as it is and it's cute. The guy is nice enough, Hank supposes and he seems to genuinely care for Evan, so Hank swallows his anger and deals with the fact that Evan is dating and no longer needs him as much.
When he sits down and thinks about the anger and the reasons for it, he thinks it's just brotherly love, that he'll never feel as if anyone will be good enough for his little brother. That's what he tells himself anyway. When he studies the jealousy, none too closely mind you, he tells himself it's just because that he won't be the number one person in Evan's life anymore. And those half-truths allow him to hide his real thoughts and emotions, while not being out right lies.
There is some sick sense of satisfaction when Evan and his boyfriend break up. He holds Evan through the tears and pain, comforting him and letting him rage around the room. He listens to the excuses that Evan makes to deny that they're really over, talks him out of calling or visiting him.
When he finally gets Evan calmed down enough to go to bed, he turns to leave, but a cold hand on his wrist stops him.
“Please stay.” Evan's voice is hoarse, even in a whisper.
“Okay.” Hank slides in behind Evan, pulling the blanket up around both of them and letting Evan curl into his arms.
“Thank you.” Evan mumbles into his shirt where his face is buried.
Hank again tells himself the half-truth of it's just brotherly love he's feeling for Evan as his arms tighten around him. That's it. Nothing else. Not a thing. And this isn't denial either, just the truth.
Through the years, the feelings have gotten stronger, most often making themselves known when Evan has a new boyfriend or girlfriend. Hank keeps up the half-truths, but it's more out of habit than any real conviction. He knows how he feels, has learned to live with it, learned to live with knowing that Evan will never be his.
It hurts, but what can he do? He can be there for Evan, make him happy as much as he possibly can, and be his big brother. This is the only time he will ever wish that they weren't related. Weren't brothers. Just so he could love Evan as fully as he wants to.
Society says it's wrong. Why is it wrong to love someone like that? It's only wrong if you're related. But the world needs more love. Not that kind of love. That isn't love. Just a sick mockery of it. So, Hank buries his “sick” love and his anger and ignores it, in favor of his sanity. He can't deal with things like that. Doesn't want to face the world and it's judgments and he certainly won't face Evan with that kind of news.
Hank couldn't care less what other people thought of him, but he's scared of Evan hating him and that is something he's not going to risk, even if it means getting the weight of all his secrets off his chest. That's not a fair trade. He'll shoulder any burden as long as Evan loves him.
He'll deal with it all when it's time too, and that's when he meets his maker. Not any time sooner. No one else has to know.
Not even Evan.