Don't Let Go
Title: Don't Let Go
Rating: R
Fandom: The Shield
Pairings: Shane/Lem, mentions of Shane/OMCs, mentions of Vic/Shane
Warnings: Non explicit sex
Word Count: 2,402
Notes: Once again, thanks to the ever awesome disturbinglynic who totally unstuck my brain with her fabulous ideas. Part of the Fault'verse.
Prompt: Fighting at hc_bingo
Summary: It's messy and they're unsure, but maybe they can make it work.
When Lem walks into his favorite get-away bar, the last person he expects to see is Shane. Even more than that, the very last thing he expects to see is Shane leaning into some man beside him, a smirk on his face and a gleam in his eye. Shane hasn't noticed him yet and Lem decides he'll watch, see what Shane's up to. It can't be anything good from the way his hand is drifting higher and higher up the other man's thigh.
Lem keeps to the edge of the crowded bar, picking a seat far enough away that Shane won't necessarily see him, but close enough to keep an eye on him. He watches Shane laugh and smile with the other man, never keeping his hands off of him. The other man seems content to let him touch all he wants and Lem fights off the rising burn of jealousy in his chest even though he knows that's a losing battle.
With a start, Lem realises the other man looks a lot like him. Blonde, well built, tall even though he's sitting down. He's got the same messy, spiky hair that Lem does, though his is longer. He's got a squarer jaw line and a mustache, but he looks enough like Lem that Lem understands what Shane is doing and it's enough to piss him off.
Marie, one of his favorite waitresses, comes over to him. "Hey Lem. How're you doing tonight?"
"Alright. Hey, you know that guy over there?" Lem nods towards Shane and the guy he's pawing.
She looks over. "Yeah. Shane something. I don't know the other guy."
"How long has Shane been coming here?" Lem asks, knowing Marie will tell him what he wants to know.
She looks back down at him. "About a month, maybe two, couple nights a week. Always hooks up with a different guy though, but he definitely seems to have a type."
"What's his type?" Lem asks, already knowing the answer.
"Tall, muscular, blonde, usually blue eyed. You actually." Marie smirks playfully at him.
"Thanks, Marie." He tucks some money in her pocket, ignoring her protests.
"Aren't you going to order something?" She asks, frowning lightly.
"Nah, I got more than what I wanted anyway. Thanks again." He says, curling his lip in Shane's direction.
He gets up and leaves the bar without even ordering anything, having watched Shane paw the guy long enough. He races home, driving way too fast and recklessly on his motorcycle, but he doesn't care. He makes it home in one piece and storms into his bedroom, angry and hurt and betrayed.
It's bad enough that Shane wants to stay with Vic and won't even look at him most days, but this? Finding random guys in bars that look enough like him that Shane can pretend or whatever the fuck he does and flirts with them and fucks them? This is going way too far, crossing too many lines.
Lem feels a headache coming on and he's suddenly tired, exhausted. He can deal with Shane tomorrow. He's pretty sure Shane has the day off anyway. He'll just deal with it all tomorrow because he's not going to get anywhere with it tonight.
He turns out to be right and Shane does have the day off the next day. Not much is actually accomplished besides paperwork and Vic is bitchy about it all day. Lem's glad when it's time to go home, happy to be rid of Vic and his temper.
He heads towards Shane's place, wondering if this is really such a good idea after all. Shane's a grown man, he can fuck whoever he wants, even if his partners do bear an uncanny resemble to Lem himself. The more he thinks about it though, the angrier he gets. He needs to get this out of his system before it ruins him and Shane.
He hammers on Shane's front door, shoving down the doubt because he doesn't have time for it right now. Now's the time for anger, not heartache.
Shane opens the door, looking surprised and slightly disappointed when he sees Lem.
Lem catches the look and sneers at him. "Expecting someone else?"
"Maybe. What do you want?" Shane asks coolly, folding his arms across his chest and not letting Lem into his apartment.
"We need to talk." Lem says, glaring at Shane.
Shane sighs, rolls his eyes. "Whatever." He turns and walks into the apartment, leaving the door open behind him.
Lem follows and closes it, leaning against it briefly before following Shane into the living room.
"What do you want to talk about?" Shane asks with an air of impatience.
"I saw you. At the bar." Lem blurts out. It's not at all what he meant to say, but there it is, out in the open now.
"And?" Shane doesn't look impressed.
"Last night, with that guy. You know, the one that looked oddly familiar. Kind of like me almost." Lem snaps.
"What I do on my own time is really none of your business." Shane says, an edge to his voice.
"It is when I know what you're doing, Shane! I'm not stupid! I know why you won't leave Vic, why you're going after random guys in bars." Lem takes a few steps towards Shane.
"Why? Please tell me why I do these things because I have no idea." Shane rolls his eyes, already looking few up with this conversation.
"Why would you sleep with them when you can have me?" Lem asks desperately.
Shane laughs. "You think it has anything to do with you? So you saw me hook up with one guy that vaguely resembled you. Big fuckin' deal."
"I know you've been going there for a few months. Always hooking up with a different guy." Lem glares.
"What? Have you been spying on me, Lem?" Shane asks, all traces of humor gone now.
"No, but I have friends there. Friends that like to talk." Lem says and he's tired of this, tired of fighting.
"Who? No, I don't even care. This isn't about you, Lem. I don't want you. I never really did. The only reason I ever asked you to come back to the team was because Vic wanted you back. Not me." Shane says coldly.
"You don't mean that." Lem says, hurt now.
"Of course I do. Why do you think I left the door open that night? I wanted you to see Vic and me." Shane sneers.
"Shane, stop. You're lying." Lem really hopes he's lying.
"No, I'm not." Shane shakes his head.
"Why would you do this to me?" Lem whispers hoarsely.
"Why do you let me?" Shane asks.
"Fuck you, Shane." Lem growls, scrubbing his hands down his face.
"No, we've been there, done that, but I fucked you, remember? Remember, Lem? How you begged for it, moaned my name like a good little bitch? You remember." Shane sneers at him.
Lem loses it. The anger and the hurt builds up and he lunges at Shane, tackling him to the ground. Shane rolls them over easily, pinning Lem's arms down by his side, throwing a punch and catching Lem's cheek.
Lem grunts and manages to overbalance Shane, throwing him off to the side. He strikes out blindly, hitting Shane in the stomach and Shane retaliates with another punch to Lem's face, this time hitting his nose.
Blood spurts down his face in a hot rush, making him stumble away from Shane, hands coming up and covering his nose. The sight of blood seems to snap Shane out of his fury as well because he looks stunned.
"Oh, fuck, Lem." Shane pants, reaching out for Lem carefully. He leads him into the bathroom and gently pushes him to sit on the toilet. He wets a wash cloth and nudges Lem's hands away from his face, gently cleaning the blood away. Lem winces and tries not to pull away, but Shane just curls a hand around the back of his neck, tilting his head up slightly and stemming the flow of blood.
"Well, it's not broken." Shane says after a few moments of silence between them.
"Hurts like a bitch." Lem grumbles, voice muffled behind the cloth.
"I know. I'm sorry." Shane says softly, dropping the cloth into the sink.
"This was a mistake. I shouldn't have come here." Lem sighs, getting to his feet.
"Lem, you're right. I fucked them because they looked like you. I couldn't face you after making you stay and I knew I had no right to ask anything of you, so they were the next best thing." Shane admits suddenly, not looking at Lem. He wants Lem to stay, a fierce and burning desire for him just to be there.
"I know. Still doesn't change anything. This was still a mistake." Lem says softly, turning and walking through the apartment.
Shane hurries after him. "Please don't leave." His voice cracks slightly and his eyes are bright, suspiciously wet.
"I have to." Lem shakes his head, resting one hand on the door knob.
"You can't. Not after all of this. What I said in there was a lie. I needed to push you away because you can't love me, but I'm selfish and I need you to love me. Please don't leave, Lem." Shane pleads desperately.
"I can't, Shane. We'll only destroy each other." Lem says miserably.
"Look at me, Lem." Shane says, reaching out and touching Lem's shoulder.
Lem swallows hard and turns to face Shane. As soon as he does, Shane's pressing him against the door and kissing him fiercely. Lem makes a startled noise into Shane's mouth and tries to pull away, but Shane cups his face in his hands and holds him in place.
In that moment, Lem breaks. All the fight drains from his body and he sinks into the kiss, knowing this is either going to make them or break them and not knowing which one and not really caring.
He cups Shane's face in his hands and if there's wet trails on his cheeks, well, Lem ignores them. Shane licks his way inside of Lem's mouth, pressing him even harder into the door, trying to get as close as he can to Lem, needing to feel him.
Shane drags his mouth away. "Bedroom, we should go in the bedroom."
Lem nods and Shane tangles his fingers with Lem's and pulls him into his bedroom, tumbling onto the bed and taking Lem with him. Lem is careful not to land too hard on Shane, but Shane just pulls him closer, kissing him again.
Somehow, in between the kisses they can't seem to stop giving one another, they manage to rid each other of their clothes. Lem isn't really sure how they do it, but he doesn't really want to waste time finding out either. Not when Shane is grinding against him and moaning against his throat, sucking a bruise on his pulse point.
It's gentle, soft, and slow. A complete opposite from how Shane usually fucks. He's not being fucked though, not by Lem. No, Lem is actually making love to him and he doesn't know whether to laugh or cry because, of course, of fucking course Lem is because that's Lem, isn't it?
It's even more intense than usual. He can feel every inch of Lem inside of him, the pull and drag of skin against skin, the gentle thrusts, the soft kisses. Every bit of it screams love and affection and Shane isn't sure he can handle this. He knows he doesn't deserve it and certainly not from Lem, but Lem is here, giving it to him anyway.
His orgasm washes over him and he clings to Lem as Lem rocks into him a few more times before finding his own release and Shane clings to Lem, holding him in place for a few moments, pulling him down into a kiss.
When they part, Lem slips out of him, making him shiver with the loss of contact. Lem lays down beside him for a moment, catching his breath. After a few minutes of silence, Lem starts to get up, looking around the room for his clothes.
"What are you doing?" Shane asks, confused.
"Time for me to go. I figured you wouldn't want me to stay." Lem shrugs, looking unconcerned, but Shane knows it hurts him to say those words.
"Come back to bed, please." Shane says, reaching out and grabbing Lem's arm when he gets close enough.
Lem gives him a measuring look. "We have work in the morning."
"Yeah, and? You can shower here if you want or we can swing by your place in the morning. Just stay, okay?" Shane pulls Lem back down in the bed with him.
He slides a leg in between Lem's and wraps an arm around his waist, arranging Lem so they lay facing each other. Lem leans forward and brushes his lips across Shane's, intending for it to be a soft, chaste kiss, but Shane presses back, deepening it and making Lem moan. They part once more and Shane presses tiny kisses against Lem's face and neck.
"Thank you." He whispers.
"For what?" Lem asks.
"For loving me." Shane kisses him again.
Lem curls his arm around Shane and they settle against each other, sleep finding them easily.
They wake up the next morning, hopelessly tangled around each other. Shane manages to free himself and lets Lem take the first shower while he makes a pot of coffee for them.
"You wanna get a change of clothes at your place?" Shane asks as Lem walks back in, wearing his clothes from yesterday.
"No, I have some in my locker." Lem accepts the mug that Shane hands him, inhaling the scent of fresh coffee.
Lem drinks a few sips and before he knows what's going on, Shane is taking his cup away and sitting it down on the counter behind him before leaning up and kissing him again, licking the taste of coffee out of his mouth.
Things may still be messy and unsure between them, but right then and there in the morning light, Shane knows that all he wants is to go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning with Lem there at his side. He thinks he can handle that and maybe, just maybe they can make this work between them.
Rating: R
Fandom: The Shield
Pairings: Shane/Lem, mentions of Shane/OMCs, mentions of Vic/Shane
Warnings: Non explicit sex
Word Count: 2,402
Notes: Once again, thanks to the ever awesome disturbinglynic who totally unstuck my brain with her fabulous ideas. Part of the Fault'verse.
Prompt: Fighting at hc_bingo
Summary: It's messy and they're unsure, but maybe they can make it work.
When Lem walks into his favorite get-away bar, the last person he expects to see is Shane. Even more than that, the very last thing he expects to see is Shane leaning into some man beside him, a smirk on his face and a gleam in his eye. Shane hasn't noticed him yet and Lem decides he'll watch, see what Shane's up to. It can't be anything good from the way his hand is drifting higher and higher up the other man's thigh.
Lem keeps to the edge of the crowded bar, picking a seat far enough away that Shane won't necessarily see him, but close enough to keep an eye on him. He watches Shane laugh and smile with the other man, never keeping his hands off of him. The other man seems content to let him touch all he wants and Lem fights off the rising burn of jealousy in his chest even though he knows that's a losing battle.
With a start, Lem realises the other man looks a lot like him. Blonde, well built, tall even though he's sitting down. He's got the same messy, spiky hair that Lem does, though his is longer. He's got a squarer jaw line and a mustache, but he looks enough like Lem that Lem understands what Shane is doing and it's enough to piss him off.
Marie, one of his favorite waitresses, comes over to him. "Hey Lem. How're you doing tonight?"
"Alright. Hey, you know that guy over there?" Lem nods towards Shane and the guy he's pawing.
She looks over. "Yeah. Shane something. I don't know the other guy."
"How long has Shane been coming here?" Lem asks, knowing Marie will tell him what he wants to know.
She looks back down at him. "About a month, maybe two, couple nights a week. Always hooks up with a different guy though, but he definitely seems to have a type."
"What's his type?" Lem asks, already knowing the answer.
"Tall, muscular, blonde, usually blue eyed. You actually." Marie smirks playfully at him.
"Thanks, Marie." He tucks some money in her pocket, ignoring her protests.
"Aren't you going to order something?" She asks, frowning lightly.
"Nah, I got more than what I wanted anyway. Thanks again." He says, curling his lip in Shane's direction.
He gets up and leaves the bar without even ordering anything, having watched Shane paw the guy long enough. He races home, driving way too fast and recklessly on his motorcycle, but he doesn't care. He makes it home in one piece and storms into his bedroom, angry and hurt and betrayed.
It's bad enough that Shane wants to stay with Vic and won't even look at him most days, but this? Finding random guys in bars that look enough like him that Shane can pretend or whatever the fuck he does and flirts with them and fucks them? This is going way too far, crossing too many lines.
Lem feels a headache coming on and he's suddenly tired, exhausted. He can deal with Shane tomorrow. He's pretty sure Shane has the day off anyway. He'll just deal with it all tomorrow because he's not going to get anywhere with it tonight.
He turns out to be right and Shane does have the day off the next day. Not much is actually accomplished besides paperwork and Vic is bitchy about it all day. Lem's glad when it's time to go home, happy to be rid of Vic and his temper.
He heads towards Shane's place, wondering if this is really such a good idea after all. Shane's a grown man, he can fuck whoever he wants, even if his partners do bear an uncanny resemble to Lem himself. The more he thinks about it though, the angrier he gets. He needs to get this out of his system before it ruins him and Shane.
He hammers on Shane's front door, shoving down the doubt because he doesn't have time for it right now. Now's the time for anger, not heartache.
Shane opens the door, looking surprised and slightly disappointed when he sees Lem.
Lem catches the look and sneers at him. "Expecting someone else?"
"Maybe. What do you want?" Shane asks coolly, folding his arms across his chest and not letting Lem into his apartment.
"We need to talk." Lem says, glaring at Shane.
Shane sighs, rolls his eyes. "Whatever." He turns and walks into the apartment, leaving the door open behind him.
Lem follows and closes it, leaning against it briefly before following Shane into the living room.
"What do you want to talk about?" Shane asks with an air of impatience.
"I saw you. At the bar." Lem blurts out. It's not at all what he meant to say, but there it is, out in the open now.
"And?" Shane doesn't look impressed.
"Last night, with that guy. You know, the one that looked oddly familiar. Kind of like me almost." Lem snaps.
"What I do on my own time is really none of your business." Shane says, an edge to his voice.
"It is when I know what you're doing, Shane! I'm not stupid! I know why you won't leave Vic, why you're going after random guys in bars." Lem takes a few steps towards Shane.
"Why? Please tell me why I do these things because I have no idea." Shane rolls his eyes, already looking few up with this conversation.
"Why would you sleep with them when you can have me?" Lem asks desperately.
Shane laughs. "You think it has anything to do with you? So you saw me hook up with one guy that vaguely resembled you. Big fuckin' deal."
"I know you've been going there for a few months. Always hooking up with a different guy." Lem glares.
"What? Have you been spying on me, Lem?" Shane asks, all traces of humor gone now.
"No, but I have friends there. Friends that like to talk." Lem says and he's tired of this, tired of fighting.
"Who? No, I don't even care. This isn't about you, Lem. I don't want you. I never really did. The only reason I ever asked you to come back to the team was because Vic wanted you back. Not me." Shane says coldly.
"You don't mean that." Lem says, hurt now.
"Of course I do. Why do you think I left the door open that night? I wanted you to see Vic and me." Shane sneers.
"Shane, stop. You're lying." Lem really hopes he's lying.
"No, I'm not." Shane shakes his head.
"Why would you do this to me?" Lem whispers hoarsely.
"Why do you let me?" Shane asks.
"Fuck you, Shane." Lem growls, scrubbing his hands down his face.
"No, we've been there, done that, but I fucked you, remember? Remember, Lem? How you begged for it, moaned my name like a good little bitch? You remember." Shane sneers at him.
Lem loses it. The anger and the hurt builds up and he lunges at Shane, tackling him to the ground. Shane rolls them over easily, pinning Lem's arms down by his side, throwing a punch and catching Lem's cheek.
Lem grunts and manages to overbalance Shane, throwing him off to the side. He strikes out blindly, hitting Shane in the stomach and Shane retaliates with another punch to Lem's face, this time hitting his nose.
Blood spurts down his face in a hot rush, making him stumble away from Shane, hands coming up and covering his nose. The sight of blood seems to snap Shane out of his fury as well because he looks stunned.
"Oh, fuck, Lem." Shane pants, reaching out for Lem carefully. He leads him into the bathroom and gently pushes him to sit on the toilet. He wets a wash cloth and nudges Lem's hands away from his face, gently cleaning the blood away. Lem winces and tries not to pull away, but Shane just curls a hand around the back of his neck, tilting his head up slightly and stemming the flow of blood.
"Well, it's not broken." Shane says after a few moments of silence between them.
"Hurts like a bitch." Lem grumbles, voice muffled behind the cloth.
"I know. I'm sorry." Shane says softly, dropping the cloth into the sink.
"This was a mistake. I shouldn't have come here." Lem sighs, getting to his feet.
"Lem, you're right. I fucked them because they looked like you. I couldn't face you after making you stay and I knew I had no right to ask anything of you, so they were the next best thing." Shane admits suddenly, not looking at Lem. He wants Lem to stay, a fierce and burning desire for him just to be there.
"I know. Still doesn't change anything. This was still a mistake." Lem says softly, turning and walking through the apartment.
Shane hurries after him. "Please don't leave." His voice cracks slightly and his eyes are bright, suspiciously wet.
"I have to." Lem shakes his head, resting one hand on the door knob.
"You can't. Not after all of this. What I said in there was a lie. I needed to push you away because you can't love me, but I'm selfish and I need you to love me. Please don't leave, Lem." Shane pleads desperately.
"I can't, Shane. We'll only destroy each other." Lem says miserably.
"Look at me, Lem." Shane says, reaching out and touching Lem's shoulder.
Lem swallows hard and turns to face Shane. As soon as he does, Shane's pressing him against the door and kissing him fiercely. Lem makes a startled noise into Shane's mouth and tries to pull away, but Shane cups his face in his hands and holds him in place.
In that moment, Lem breaks. All the fight drains from his body and he sinks into the kiss, knowing this is either going to make them or break them and not knowing which one and not really caring.
He cups Shane's face in his hands and if there's wet trails on his cheeks, well, Lem ignores them. Shane licks his way inside of Lem's mouth, pressing him even harder into the door, trying to get as close as he can to Lem, needing to feel him.
Shane drags his mouth away. "Bedroom, we should go in the bedroom."
Lem nods and Shane tangles his fingers with Lem's and pulls him into his bedroom, tumbling onto the bed and taking Lem with him. Lem is careful not to land too hard on Shane, but Shane just pulls him closer, kissing him again.
Somehow, in between the kisses they can't seem to stop giving one another, they manage to rid each other of their clothes. Lem isn't really sure how they do it, but he doesn't really want to waste time finding out either. Not when Shane is grinding against him and moaning against his throat, sucking a bruise on his pulse point.
It's gentle, soft, and slow. A complete opposite from how Shane usually fucks. He's not being fucked though, not by Lem. No, Lem is actually making love to him and he doesn't know whether to laugh or cry because, of course, of fucking course Lem is because that's Lem, isn't it?
It's even more intense than usual. He can feel every inch of Lem inside of him, the pull and drag of skin against skin, the gentle thrusts, the soft kisses. Every bit of it screams love and affection and Shane isn't sure he can handle this. He knows he doesn't deserve it and certainly not from Lem, but Lem is here, giving it to him anyway.
His orgasm washes over him and he clings to Lem as Lem rocks into him a few more times before finding his own release and Shane clings to Lem, holding him in place for a few moments, pulling him down into a kiss.
When they part, Lem slips out of him, making him shiver with the loss of contact. Lem lays down beside him for a moment, catching his breath. After a few minutes of silence, Lem starts to get up, looking around the room for his clothes.
"What are you doing?" Shane asks, confused.
"Time for me to go. I figured you wouldn't want me to stay." Lem shrugs, looking unconcerned, but Shane knows it hurts him to say those words.
"Come back to bed, please." Shane says, reaching out and grabbing Lem's arm when he gets close enough.
Lem gives him a measuring look. "We have work in the morning."
"Yeah, and? You can shower here if you want or we can swing by your place in the morning. Just stay, okay?" Shane pulls Lem back down in the bed with him.
He slides a leg in between Lem's and wraps an arm around his waist, arranging Lem so they lay facing each other. Lem leans forward and brushes his lips across Shane's, intending for it to be a soft, chaste kiss, but Shane presses back, deepening it and making Lem moan. They part once more and Shane presses tiny kisses against Lem's face and neck.
"Thank you." He whispers.
"For what?" Lem asks.
"For loving me." Shane kisses him again.
Lem curls his arm around Shane and they settle against each other, sleep finding them easily.
They wake up the next morning, hopelessly tangled around each other. Shane manages to free himself and lets Lem take the first shower while he makes a pot of coffee for them.
"You wanna get a change of clothes at your place?" Shane asks as Lem walks back in, wearing his clothes from yesterday.
"No, I have some in my locker." Lem accepts the mug that Shane hands him, inhaling the scent of fresh coffee.
Lem drinks a few sips and before he knows what's going on, Shane is taking his cup away and sitting it down on the counter behind him before leaning up and kissing him again, licking the taste of coffee out of his mouth.
Things may still be messy and unsure between them, but right then and there in the morning light, Shane knows that all he wants is to go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning with Lem there at his side. He thinks he can handle that and maybe, just maybe they can make this work between them.