The Real Reason
Title: The Real Reason
Author: Kendra sykoxfreak
Summary: It was like nothing had changed. But in reality, everything did. And both were fine with that because Bobby tasted like wine and John got what he always wanted.
Rating: very light PG-13 Nothing big, kids, just some a bottle of wine and a broken heart. Disclaimer: don’t own, I sent ‘em back slightly intoxicated, though.
Warning: Fluff with a hint of angst. Or angst with a hint of fluff. You decide.
Note: Made for my Playlist. Prompt No. 3 Keith Urban "Tonight I wanna Cry"
The Playlist
Bobby was never the type to drink. He never drank, and probably never would. But somehow he found himself sitting in front of the TV, the sound turned down, and he was gripping a half empty bottle of Logan’s wine. It came to a surprise to Bobby that Logan owned wine, but he was the only one who drank in the house, so it had to be his. Bobby didn’t care, and neither did Logan. They silently understood one another; they both lost something they care very dearly about.
The voice of every student plays over and over in his head, and the things they come up with made Bobby laugh constantly. "I heard he left because he was always working with Magneto; he was a double agent." "I heard that Magneto called him a God, or something. Egotistical, much?" "No, I heard it was because he wanted to hurt people, not help them." "I heard he left because he lost his powers." "Then why would he go with Magneto, stupid. Anyway...the real reason is because…he’s gay and he didn’t want anyone to know."
The last girl was damn near close though. The real real reason he left? Bobby wouldn’t admit it. Admit what you ask? That he was in love with John. Oh, don’t worry, John knew that, because he loved Bobby right back. Probably loved Bobby more than he loved himself. Probably more than that stupid shark face lighter. John wanted to tell people about them; he could never keep a secret. Actually, it surprised Bobby because he never took John as the type to say something like that. But he also never took John to be a cuddler, either. Shows how well Bobby judges people. Bobby reminisces on the first time John asked Bobby to do this for him.
"Hey, Bobby?" John asked, not looking up from his homework.
"What?" he replies, putting the finishing touches on his drawing. He always loved to draw. To draw John especially.
John, still not looking up from his homework. "When are we gonna tell people that we’re together?" Bobby choked on absolutely nothing. "I was just wondering, because you broke up with Rogue so suddenly, and I’ve been hearing things; rumors, y’know?"
"I thought…" Bobby trailed off, because John looked up at him with big brown eyes. "I thought you didn’t want to…"
"I didn’t want to at first because I didn’t know how long it would last. It’s been nearly three years; I think it’s time."
"Why though?"
John turned his attention back to his paper. "Because I love you."
"You what me?"
John looked up, and stared into Bobby’s blue eyes. "I love you."
"John, you know I’ve never been the type to ever let my feelings show."
"Don’t worry. I know you love me too. I just wish you would say it outside this room."
Bobby wants to cry at times, and he can’t. The only thing he can do is open up another bottle of wine, and hope that he’ll get drunk enough to forget John; to forget for one moment that he fucked up royally. Bobby knows that he’ll never get over John walking away; he’ll never get over him by hiding this way. Bobby also knows that he won’t get that drunk off of the wine. That it would be smarter to open that bottle of Vodka that’s hidden way in the back of the top shelf in the cabinet barely ever used, but the wine didn’t burn on the way down.
Sometimes, around the times he wants to cry, he feels the need to turn a sad song on. But "All By Myself" would hit him a little too close to home at the moment. Then he thinks that he should unfold those love notes that they shared in Scott’s class, and Logan’s. Hell, even Ororo’s, but the ones in her class were subtle, all in codes. The ones in Scott’s class, anyone could see that something was going on if that’s what they were looking for, otherwise, it just looks like they’re best friends. But in Logan’s? It was pure adoration, and love. And guess which class they got caught the most in? Logan’s. Bobby remembers the very first time.
John slips the note under Bobby’s textbook. As Bobby reaches for it, Logan sees it in the corner of his eye. He slyly walks over to Bobby, as he unfolds it. Logan leans over, and smirks at Bobby as he pulls it from his fingers. He skims over the lines, his eyebrows seeming to go higher and higher into his hairline. When he’s done with the note, neither John or Bobby are looking at him, or each other.
Logan leans in towards the two. "Don’t worry Bobby. I think he has very pretty brown eyes, too." Both the boys could smell his cigars on his breath, and smirk on his lips. Logan folded the note, handed it back to Bobby, and continued with his lesson.
Some girls hated them after that, because Logan always read theirs out loud.
Bobby knows that drinking the wine won’t help him get over John, it’ll hurt really bad before it gets better. He knows this, but he can’t help it, and takes another swig of the alcohol. He knows that he’ll never get over John this way, but…it eases the pain…a little. Bobby glances at the clock; 5:45. Dinner would be starting soon, but he didn‘t care. He didn’t eat all that much any more. He drank, and drank, and drank. Okay, that’s an exaggeration. Bobby found the wine about a week ago, and John’s been gone for nearly two months now.
Bobby knew that people were talking about him. He didn’t care. The more they talked about him, the less they talked about John. Bobby knew that he ruined his reputation, and his role as the school mascot was gone, but he didn’t care. The only thing that mattered was John, and he was gone because of his own stupidity. His damn pride.
"Tell me, why?" John hissed between clenched teeth. Bobby refused to meet John’s teary eyes, because he knows that John put his trust in someone-finally-and that trust was broken. John learned to love again, and Bobby was slowly breaking his heart. Slowly and painfully. John didn’t deserve this, but because of Bobby’s pride, John was dying on the inside.
"I just can’t," Bobby replied, keeping his voice down because Marie was a few feet away from them. John blinks, making the tears slide down his cheeks.
"Is it your pride?" John asked accusingly. "Do I hurt you fucking pride? Does being gay hurt your pride?"
"I’m not gay," the words flew out of his mouth faster than the speed of light. John’s breath caught in his throat. "I didn’t mean that. Not the way you think. I love you, I do. I just…I’m not the type to ever let my feelings show."
"You said that one too many times, Drake. Do you think that that’s gonna save your ass?" John hissed, angrily wiping his tears. "It’s not, I’ll tell that you right now."
"John…sweetheart."
"I’m not in the mood for your bullshit, Bobby. Don’t you fucking sweetheart me!" John was yelling now. "I loved you, Bobby. I loved you in a way that I didn’t know I could. And you tore my heart to pieces. Love me in the light, Bobby, that’s all I ask. Can you do that?"
There was a long pause. "I don’t know."
"That’s not an answer. I need an answer."
"Then, no."
John let a sob slip, and stared holes into Bobby. The blue eyed boy squirmed under the scrutinizing stare.
"I loved you." John was shaking his head disbelieving. "I loved you."
John tore out of the jet as the door opened behind him. Marie stood there eyes wide. She looked ready to kill, and Bobby was in her line of fire. Her voice was a whisper.
"Do you love him?" She asked it in a rhetorical tone.
"I loved him."
"‘Loved’ isn’t a word. There is no past tense to love. If you love someone, you will always love them, no matter what. Whether they’re a guy or a girl. Love is love, Bobby. You’re pride shouldn’t blind you from that, and if it does, you don’t deserve him or love," Marie told the shocked boy. She let her words sink in, and walked back to the cockpit.
By the time Bobby realized that he needed to go find John, the others were running up the ramp. Bobby grabbed Logan’s arm and gave him a look.
"He’s not out there, kid. Saw him with Magneto. Sorry, Bobby."
The dinner bell rang, making Bobby jump. He got too wrapped up in his memory. Bobby took one last mouthful of wine, emptying the bottle, and stood up. Apparently, Bobby can hold his liquor because he didn’t stumble once on the way to the cafeteria, or though the crowds to the middle of the large room, or to the table in the middle of the room. Then he heard another rumor.
"I heard he left because…"
"Hey, bitch. Shut the fuck up," Bobby said loudly. The girl gasped, along with the rest of the room. "If you wanna know why he left I’ll tell you, but you gotta shut up."
"Okay," he voice was as small as a mouse.
"The real reason John left was because of me. I did it all. My pride blinded me from something that I couldn’t see. From something that was so important to me. I was too scared to tell anyone, and everyone, but know I’m damn proud to say this. I’m drunk, and I have a confession to make. I was too scared to say this because I would be admitting it, and admitting it makes it real. And I didn’t want it to real, but it was also the most realist thing in my entire life. I lov-" Bobby exclaimed, astonishing himself because his words weren’t even slurred. Marie came running over to her ex-whatever-the-hell-he-was-to-her, and hit him in the shin, stopping him; giving him more time to think this over.
"What the hell are you on?" she hissed, quietly so that only each other.
"A bottle of wine and a broken heart."
"Wine?" Marie whispered, confused. "Bobby, are you drunk?"
"A little. Didn’t you hear me say that? Nevermind. Can I just say what I need to say?" Bobby asked, leaning down slightly, feeling kinda sick.
"Go ahead. I won’t stop you."
"So, Bobby-boy," the girl who was gossiping said in a condescending tone. "What do you need to tell us?"
"Okay, Nikki. I love him," he said to her, then to everyone. "I love St. John Allerdyce. And just so there’s no confusion, in love with him." There were more gasps, and Marie looked at Bobby with a proud smile on her lips. Bobby jumped off of the table and a sudden dizzy spell hit. He stumbled out of the silent cafeteria and ran into someone.
"Sorry, man. A little drunk," Bobby had no problem admitting that. The only thing that would happen would be that he would get grounded to his room forever, but that wouldn’t bother him none, because he plans on crawling under John’s blanket on his bed and never come out. Ever.
The persons face was blurred out because the alcohol was finally kicking in. Bobby’s head was spinning, and he didn’t know that being drunk felt this good. The person held onto Bobby’s wrist, and Bobby was shocked at how much it burned. He giggled.
"Damn, Drake, you really are hammered. I’m shocked," Bobby looked up at the guy with too hot to be natural hands. His vision cleared for a second, and saw that it was John. It was John, and he was back, and he’s forgiven Bobby. Then Bobby remembers he hammered. Your mind will start messing with you when you drunk. Bobby shook his head and shoved the person away. It was probably Logan anyway.
"Go away. You’re not the real him. You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for the wine," Bobby told the blurred image. The person rolled his eyes, and dragged Bobby towards his room.
Once the figure got to Bobby’s room, he shoved the boy on the bed. Bobby curled into a ball, and slowly rocked back and forth.
"Go to sleep, Bobby," John whispered, but Bobby was already asleep.
When Bobby woke up the next morning, he noticed two things. His face was soaked with dried tears. And he had someone tucked tightly under his arm. The someone was really hot, like volcano hot. Bobby silently prayed that he wasn’t naked.
He wasn’t, and Bobby whispered "Thank you, God." The person under his stirred, and hit Bobby hard.
"Go away, Raven. I told you I love Bobby. Go away."
It was John. Bobby blinked and slowly lifted his arm.
It was John. Bobby slowly slid away from the other boy.
It was John. Bobby realized that it wasn’t a wine induced illusion.
It was John. "Bobby, don’t you leave me."
Bobby carefully watched as John slid his hand back, and grabbed Bobby’s. He rolled over, and faced his boyfriend. His eyes were still huge, and puppy dog brown they always been, his lips were still as pouty has they always been. His hair grew longer though, the light brown fringe fell in his eyes. The two stared at each other, until one spoke.
"Why did you do it?"
"Because I love you."
"Really, even after what I did?"
"Yeah. Don’t ask me why though." They share a smile.
"I love you too."
They lean in the same time, and when their lips met, it was like nothing had changed. But in reality, everything did. And both were fine with that because Bobby tasted like wine and John got what he always wanted.
Author: Kendra sykoxfreak
Summary: It was like nothing had changed. But in reality, everything did. And both were fine with that because Bobby tasted like wine and John got what he always wanted.
Rating: very light PG-13 Nothing big, kids, just some a bottle of wine and a broken heart. Disclaimer: don’t own, I sent ‘em back slightly intoxicated, though.
Warning: Fluff with a hint of angst. Or angst with a hint of fluff. You decide.
Note: Made for my Playlist. Prompt No. 3 Keith Urban "Tonight I wanna Cry"
The Playlist
Bobby was never the type to drink. He never drank, and probably never would. But somehow he found himself sitting in front of the TV, the sound turned down, and he was gripping a half empty bottle of Logan’s wine. It came to a surprise to Bobby that Logan owned wine, but he was the only one who drank in the house, so it had to be his. Bobby didn’t care, and neither did Logan. They silently understood one another; they both lost something they care very dearly about.
The voice of every student plays over and over in his head, and the things they come up with made Bobby laugh constantly. "I heard he left because he was always working with Magneto; he was a double agent." "I heard that Magneto called him a God, or something. Egotistical, much?" "No, I heard it was because he wanted to hurt people, not help them." "I heard he left because he lost his powers." "Then why would he go with Magneto, stupid. Anyway...the real reason is because…he’s gay and he didn’t want anyone to know."
The last girl was damn near close though. The real real reason he left? Bobby wouldn’t admit it. Admit what you ask? That he was in love with John. Oh, don’t worry, John knew that, because he loved Bobby right back. Probably loved Bobby more than he loved himself. Probably more than that stupid shark face lighter. John wanted to tell people about them; he could never keep a secret. Actually, it surprised Bobby because he never took John as the type to say something like that. But he also never took John to be a cuddler, either. Shows how well Bobby judges people. Bobby reminisces on the first time John asked Bobby to do this for him.
"Hey, Bobby?" John asked, not looking up from his homework.
"What?" he replies, putting the finishing touches on his drawing. He always loved to draw. To draw John especially.
John, still not looking up from his homework. "When are we gonna tell people that we’re together?" Bobby choked on absolutely nothing. "I was just wondering, because you broke up with Rogue so suddenly, and I’ve been hearing things; rumors, y’know?"
"I thought…" Bobby trailed off, because John looked up at him with big brown eyes. "I thought you didn’t want to…"
"I didn’t want to at first because I didn’t know how long it would last. It’s been nearly three years; I think it’s time."
"Why though?"
John turned his attention back to his paper. "Because I love you."
"You what me?"
John looked up, and stared into Bobby’s blue eyes. "I love you."
"John, you know I’ve never been the type to ever let my feelings show."
"Don’t worry. I know you love me too. I just wish you would say it outside this room."
Bobby wants to cry at times, and he can’t. The only thing he can do is open up another bottle of wine, and hope that he’ll get drunk enough to forget John; to forget for one moment that he fucked up royally. Bobby knows that he’ll never get over John walking away; he’ll never get over him by hiding this way. Bobby also knows that he won’t get that drunk off of the wine. That it would be smarter to open that bottle of Vodka that’s hidden way in the back of the top shelf in the cabinet barely ever used, but the wine didn’t burn on the way down.
Sometimes, around the times he wants to cry, he feels the need to turn a sad song on. But "All By Myself" would hit him a little too close to home at the moment. Then he thinks that he should unfold those love notes that they shared in Scott’s class, and Logan’s. Hell, even Ororo’s, but the ones in her class were subtle, all in codes. The ones in Scott’s class, anyone could see that something was going on if that’s what they were looking for, otherwise, it just looks like they’re best friends. But in Logan’s? It was pure adoration, and love. And guess which class they got caught the most in? Logan’s. Bobby remembers the very first time.
John slips the note under Bobby’s textbook. As Bobby reaches for it, Logan sees it in the corner of his eye. He slyly walks over to Bobby, as he unfolds it. Logan leans over, and smirks at Bobby as he pulls it from his fingers. He skims over the lines, his eyebrows seeming to go higher and higher into his hairline. When he’s done with the note, neither John or Bobby are looking at him, or each other.
Logan leans in towards the two. "Don’t worry Bobby. I think he has very pretty brown eyes, too." Both the boys could smell his cigars on his breath, and smirk on his lips. Logan folded the note, handed it back to Bobby, and continued with his lesson.
Some girls hated them after that, because Logan always read theirs out loud.
Bobby knows that drinking the wine won’t help him get over John, it’ll hurt really bad before it gets better. He knows this, but he can’t help it, and takes another swig of the alcohol. He knows that he’ll never get over John this way, but…it eases the pain…a little. Bobby glances at the clock; 5:45. Dinner would be starting soon, but he didn‘t care. He didn’t eat all that much any more. He drank, and drank, and drank. Okay, that’s an exaggeration. Bobby found the wine about a week ago, and John’s been gone for nearly two months now.
Bobby knew that people were talking about him. He didn’t care. The more they talked about him, the less they talked about John. Bobby knew that he ruined his reputation, and his role as the school mascot was gone, but he didn’t care. The only thing that mattered was John, and he was gone because of his own stupidity. His damn pride.
"Tell me, why?" John hissed between clenched teeth. Bobby refused to meet John’s teary eyes, because he knows that John put his trust in someone-finally-and that trust was broken. John learned to love again, and Bobby was slowly breaking his heart. Slowly and painfully. John didn’t deserve this, but because of Bobby’s pride, John was dying on the inside.
"I just can’t," Bobby replied, keeping his voice down because Marie was a few feet away from them. John blinks, making the tears slide down his cheeks.
"Is it your pride?" John asked accusingly. "Do I hurt you fucking pride? Does being gay hurt your pride?"
"I’m not gay," the words flew out of his mouth faster than the speed of light. John’s breath caught in his throat. "I didn’t mean that. Not the way you think. I love you, I do. I just…I’m not the type to ever let my feelings show."
"You said that one too many times, Drake. Do you think that that’s gonna save your ass?" John hissed, angrily wiping his tears. "It’s not, I’ll tell that you right now."
"John…sweetheart."
"I’m not in the mood for your bullshit, Bobby. Don’t you fucking sweetheart me!" John was yelling now. "I loved you, Bobby. I loved you in a way that I didn’t know I could. And you tore my heart to pieces. Love me in the light, Bobby, that’s all I ask. Can you do that?"
There was a long pause. "I don’t know."
"That’s not an answer. I need an answer."
"Then, no."
John let a sob slip, and stared holes into Bobby. The blue eyed boy squirmed under the scrutinizing stare.
"I loved you." John was shaking his head disbelieving. "I loved you."
John tore out of the jet as the door opened behind him. Marie stood there eyes wide. She looked ready to kill, and Bobby was in her line of fire. Her voice was a whisper.
"Do you love him?" She asked it in a rhetorical tone.
"I loved him."
"‘Loved’ isn’t a word. There is no past tense to love. If you love someone, you will always love them, no matter what. Whether they’re a guy or a girl. Love is love, Bobby. You’re pride shouldn’t blind you from that, and if it does, you don’t deserve him or love," Marie told the shocked boy. She let her words sink in, and walked back to the cockpit.
By the time Bobby realized that he needed to go find John, the others were running up the ramp. Bobby grabbed Logan’s arm and gave him a look.
"He’s not out there, kid. Saw him with Magneto. Sorry, Bobby."
The dinner bell rang, making Bobby jump. He got too wrapped up in his memory. Bobby took one last mouthful of wine, emptying the bottle, and stood up. Apparently, Bobby can hold his liquor because he didn’t stumble once on the way to the cafeteria, or though the crowds to the middle of the large room, or to the table in the middle of the room. Then he heard another rumor.
"I heard he left because…"
"Hey, bitch. Shut the fuck up," Bobby said loudly. The girl gasped, along with the rest of the room. "If you wanna know why he left I’ll tell you, but you gotta shut up."
"Okay," he voice was as small as a mouse.
"The real reason John left was because of me. I did it all. My pride blinded me from something that I couldn’t see. From something that was so important to me. I was too scared to tell anyone, and everyone, but know I’m damn proud to say this. I’m drunk, and I have a confession to make. I was too scared to say this because I would be admitting it, and admitting it makes it real. And I didn’t want it to real, but it was also the most realist thing in my entire life. I lov-" Bobby exclaimed, astonishing himself because his words weren’t even slurred. Marie came running over to her ex-whatever-the-hell-he-was-to-her, and hit him in the shin, stopping him; giving him more time to think this over.
"What the hell are you on?" she hissed, quietly so that only each other.
"A bottle of wine and a broken heart."
"Wine?" Marie whispered, confused. "Bobby, are you drunk?"
"A little. Didn’t you hear me say that? Nevermind. Can I just say what I need to say?" Bobby asked, leaning down slightly, feeling kinda sick.
"Go ahead. I won’t stop you."
"So, Bobby-boy," the girl who was gossiping said in a condescending tone. "What do you need to tell us?"
"Okay, Nikki. I love him," he said to her, then to everyone. "I love St. John Allerdyce. And just so there’s no confusion, in love with him." There were more gasps, and Marie looked at Bobby with a proud smile on her lips. Bobby jumped off of the table and a sudden dizzy spell hit. He stumbled out of the silent cafeteria and ran into someone.
"Sorry, man. A little drunk," Bobby had no problem admitting that. The only thing that would happen would be that he would get grounded to his room forever, but that wouldn’t bother him none, because he plans on crawling under John’s blanket on his bed and never come out. Ever.
The persons face was blurred out because the alcohol was finally kicking in. Bobby’s head was spinning, and he didn’t know that being drunk felt this good. The person held onto Bobby’s wrist, and Bobby was shocked at how much it burned. He giggled.
"Damn, Drake, you really are hammered. I’m shocked," Bobby looked up at the guy with too hot to be natural hands. His vision cleared for a second, and saw that it was John. It was John, and he was back, and he’s forgiven Bobby. Then Bobby remembers he hammered. Your mind will start messing with you when you drunk. Bobby shook his head and shoved the person away. It was probably Logan anyway.
"Go away. You’re not the real him. You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for the wine," Bobby told the blurred image. The person rolled his eyes, and dragged Bobby towards his room.
Once the figure got to Bobby’s room, he shoved the boy on the bed. Bobby curled into a ball, and slowly rocked back and forth.
"Go to sleep, Bobby," John whispered, but Bobby was already asleep.
When Bobby woke up the next morning, he noticed two things. His face was soaked with dried tears. And he had someone tucked tightly under his arm. The someone was really hot, like volcano hot. Bobby silently prayed that he wasn’t naked.
He wasn’t, and Bobby whispered "Thank you, God." The person under his stirred, and hit Bobby hard.
"Go away, Raven. I told you I love Bobby. Go away."
It was John. Bobby blinked and slowly lifted his arm.
It was John. Bobby slowly slid away from the other boy.
It was John. Bobby realized that it wasn’t a wine induced illusion.
It was John. "Bobby, don’t you leave me."
Bobby carefully watched as John slid his hand back, and grabbed Bobby’s. He rolled over, and faced his boyfriend. His eyes were still huge, and puppy dog brown they always been, his lips were still as pouty has they always been. His hair grew longer though, the light brown fringe fell in his eyes. The two stared at each other, until one spoke.
"Why did you do it?"
"Because I love you."
"Really, even after what I did?"
"Yeah. Don’t ask me why though." They share a smile.
"I love you too."
They lean in the same time, and when their lips met, it was like nothing had changed. But in reality, everything did. And both were fine with that because Bobby tasted like wine and John got what he always wanted.