Memories- ZhouWook
Title: Memories
Pairing: Zhou Mi/Ryeowook
Genre: AU, Romance, fluff
Rating: G
Summary: Ryeowook is a nostalgic romantic with a crush on one particular hyung.
The desk around Ryeowook was a mess. Tiny bits of cut-up paper lay scattered everywhere, a couple of pairs of scissors lay splay-legged across the wood surface, an open stick of glue was rolling around with multicoloured pens and tiny studs and two-sided tape.
He sucked his lower lip in under his teeth as he concentrated, leaning close to the paper, sickly sweet fumes from the glue making him blink as he carefully studded a thick card triangle to the page. He slid one corner of the mounted photograph underneath it, then studded the other three triangles over the remaining corners.
He picked up a handful of the pens and doodled around the photos on the page he'd just filled, a single rainbow line, one colour fading into another, curling and twisting over the paper. Kinks in the line formed in the shape of lovehearts and flowers and circles, and Ryeowook chuckled slightly at his own cheesiness.
He checked the time. He probably had enough to do another page before he had to start cooking for the others. He turned the page of the large square scrapbook, brushing some of the mess off the desk into the bin beside it and arranging the photos he'd already mounted on coloured rectangles of card. He separated the tiny triangular holds from the cut-up bits of scrap and rescued the glue stick from rolling off the edge of the desk.
He'd positioned three photos when the door flew open.
He jumped slightly, looking up. "I'll start dinner in a minute," he sighed placatingly at the group of men standing in the doorway.
"We're hungry, Wookie…" Shindong whined, pouting adorably. Ryeowook laughed. "Aish, just because you're all so pathetic at cooking…" he shook his head. "I'll be quick."
"Okay." Shindong sighed and turned to leave, and Ryeowook looked back at his project. He didn't realize someone had stayed until they said brightly, "What are you working on?"
Ryeowook jumped again, putting the glue back down on the desk. "Um…"
"You're making a scrapbook? That's so cute!"
Ryeowook sighed and blushed as his hyung laughed. He was used to Zhou Mi calling him cute. It happened regularly.
He'd stopped minding a long time ago.
He shifted slightly as Zhou Mi plonked himself down in a nearby chair, grabbed it between his legs and inelegantly shuffled it forward. "Can I see?"
"No." Ryeowook glared playfully, half-closing the book and using the cover to shield his work.
Zhou Mi's eyebrows mashed together and his chin tightened in a half-pout. "Why not?"
"Because." Ryeowook flapped his hand. "Shoo."
"Rude." Zhou Mi dived down and snatched one of the photos off the desk. "Oh, hey, it's me!"
"Hyung! I'm busy."
Zhou Mi waved him aside, grinning at the photograph. "Hey, that was when we were taking those cooking lessons together."
"Y-yeah, give it back."
"Oh come on, Wookie, can't I please see your book?"
"No!"
"Why not?" he repeated pleadingly.
Ryeowook blushed deeply. "It's mine. For me. I mean."
Zhou Mi's eyes sparkled. "Are there embarrassing moments in there? First-kiss sort of stuff? Did you write poems?"
Ryeowook cringed, pushing the covers further shut so only his thumb was stopping the heavy pages touching. "Hyung…"
"Okay, okay, I'll go." Zhou Mi chuckled and hugged Ryeowook's head with one arm before standing up and trotting out. "Finish up quickly, okay? We're hungry."
"Yeah, yeah." Ryeowook rolled his eyes. "I'll be out in a moment."
* * *
Yesung and Shindong leant back in their chairs, sighing happily. "Ahh, Wookie, you're such a good cook," Yesung grinned, making the younger man blush.
Shindong patted his head. "You'll make a good wife for someone one day."
"Hyung!"
"Yah, don't be so mean to the poor sweetheart," Kangin scolded, grinning as he pulled Ryeowook's head over and hugged it.
"Mmph! Hyung!" Ryeowook complained, struggling against the older man's affectionate, awkwardly-positioned embrace.
"All of you, quit molesting him!" Kyuhyun grabbed Ryeowook around the waist and pulled him away from the table. "The cook deserves respect not suffocation."
"You all think with your stomachs," Leeteuk rolled his eyes, smiling.
"Besides, Kyuhyun, you're just as bad, let him go."
Ryeowook sighed as Kyuhyun's deathgrip on his waist was released. One of these days, he decided, he was going to stop being a rag doll to his hyungs. And Kyuhyun. And Henry. And even occasionally Kibum.
Or, not.
He yelped as Eunhyuk and Donghae scooped him off his feet and threw him on the couch, settling around him. The others also migrated over, leaving the table uncleared.
"Yah, Sungmin! Isn't it your turn to wash up?"
"No! It's Siwonnie's!"
"Not it's not!"
"I thought it was Henry's?"
"I did it yesterday!"
"I did it yesterday!"
"You did it the day before."
"I don't care!" Leeteuk cried. "Someone go clear the table and wash up."
"It's Wonnie's turn."
"No it's not! You're the one who goes after Donghae."
"Eunhyuk did it yesterday!"
"No, Henry did it yesterday."
Leeteuk folded his arms. "If no-one is off that couch by the time I count to three…"
Ryeowook would have volunteered if Donghae and Henry weren't sitting on his chest and making it hard enough to breathe, let alone talk. So with a sigh, Siwon heaved himself up, patting Leeteuk's cheek as he crossed the room. "Just for you, Teukie-hyung."
"Thank you." Leeteuk dived for the freshly-vacated spot before Kangin could claim it. Someone located the remote and flicked on the TV while Siwon tidied up, no-one else volunteering to help.
"Henry," Ryeowook gasped, the weight of the two men on his ribcage finally becoming too much. They let out surprised noises and apologies, and Ryeowook felt himself lifted up, finding himself lying across several laps.
"Aish," he sighed, trying to sit up without elbowing anyone in the groin.
"Yah! Would you guys sit still?"
"Shh!"
Ryeowook squished in between Zhou Mi and Henry, warming as the older man slung an arm around his shoulders. Henry shifted to the side, throwing his legs over them both.
A blush crept up Ryeowook's face as he leant further into Zhou Mi, breathing in his familiar scent and feeling his warmth seep through their clothes.
A thick silence fell, broken only by the sound of crashing and slopping in the kitchen and the voices of the actors on screen. Ryeowook rested his hands on Henry's knees and closed his eyes against the curve of Zhou Mi's neck and shoulder.
If only this could be real.
"Guys, squidge. You didn't leave me any room." Siwon said sadly.
"Sit on the floor," Heechul suggested.
"You can have my spot if I can sit on you," Donghae offered.
"Okay." Siwon smiled gratefully and Donghae stood up to let him squeeze in.
Eunhyuk frowned. "You could sit on me…"
"Nah, that's okay! Wonnie is bigger and less bony."
"What the hell! Hae!" Eunhyuk cried.
"He's being tactful. You just stink," Henry interjected, tipping his head back and grinning sweetly.
"Yah! Is that any way to talk to your hyung? And as if you can talk!"
"ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!" Kangin roared, his attention fixed on the drama.
Eunhyuk grabbed Donghae and pulled him onto his own lap when Siwon moved to slide his arms around him. "Mine," he pouted.
Donghae grinned to himself, settling down against his friend as silence once again fell.
* * *
Ryeowook woke up in his bed. It was early morning, pale dawn light seeping in through a gap in the curtains, the familiar sounds of Yesung's snores filling the room. He braved the cool air, pushing the covers back slightly and reaching under the bed for the scrapbook. He'd caught up to the present when he'd worked on it the previous night, and he started from the beginning, flipping through the pages and pages of memories.
Each one was precious to him, like a tiny star inside him, a point of light and warmth that combined with the others into a clear sky of constellations and webs of comfort.
The memories were represented mainly by photographs, but also other things. Tickets to events they'd both gone to. A sketch he'd doodled with a pen he'd given him. A napkin they'd played hangman on when they were bored at a restaurant once. And, as Zhou Mi had unwittingly correctly guessed, poems. Small squares of card he'd carefully, neatly written on, some poetic quotes from him, some Ryeowook's own poems, and some other people's poems that had had a particular effect on Ryeowook. All the relics were encircled with colourful patterns, abstract concepts and shapes that mirrored Ryeowook's emotions when he'd arranged the items in the book.
He turned another heavy page, running his fingers nostalgically over the faces pasted onto it. He smiled to himself, reliving the moment each photo was taken as he laid eyes on it.
Finally, he turned to a blank page and let out a long sigh, closing the book and running his fingers over the red leather cover before pushing it back under his bed and curling up for a few extra hours sleep.
* * *
A bit over a week later, Zhou Mi poked his head into Ryeowook's room, searching for the younger man, only to find the space empty.
"Hey, Min," he said over his shoulder at the passing hyung, "Where's Ryeowook?"
"He had to run down to the store. He said he ran out of glue or something."
"Oh." Zhou Mi looked back into the room, noticing the desk once again a bombshell with the scrapbook lying open in the middle of it. Curious, he waited until Sungmin had gone away then slipped inside, sitting at the desk to look at the book. Guessing the reason Ryeowook had left it open was that glue wasn't dry or something, he started with the loose photos on the desktop. A smile spread over his face as he looked through them, memories popping to mind and making him chuckle.
He took his time over the loose pictures, then flipped to the front of the book and started on the first page.
Glued to the centre was a square of white card, surrounded by delicate coloured patterns. On the square were several words in calligraphic script, and he recognized them immediately. Four of the characters were ampersands, surrounded by two words in four different languages. He saw 'Zhou Mi & Li Xu' carefully drawn out in Chinese, 'Jumyuk & Ryeowook' in Hangul, then 'Zhou Mi & Ryeowook' and 'Cho Mi & Ryouku' spelled out in roman and katakana lettering. All impeccably neat and delicate.
Zhou Mi smiled broadly as he turned the page and started to browse.
* * *
Ryeowook paused as he entered his room and noticed his scrapbook was no longer on his desk. He raised his eyes and paled as he saw Zhou Mi lying on his bed, legs kicking in the air as he turned a page of the book and looked up at him.
"Wh-what are you doing?"
"Looking at your book." Zhou Mi smiled, apparently unrepentant.
"Why?" Ryeowook started to cross the room.
"Because… I wanted to see… I don't know what you're so embarrassed about, it's gorgeous!"
"I asked you not to…"
Zhou Mi paid him no attention, turning another page. "It's all you and me, that's so cute. Do you have one for each of us?"
Ryeowook darted forward and snatched the book away, slamming it shut and holding it to his chest. He could feel himself trembling and his eyes brimmed with tears. "You shouldn't look through other people's stuff," he said faintly.
"Hey…" Zhou Mi frowned slightly and stood up. "It's… there's really nothing to be embarrassed about."
Ryeowook kept his head down, feeling immensely relieved and crushed flat at the same time. "That… that's not the point." Sort of.
"I'm sorry." Zhou Mi stepped forward and hugged him. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
"Then why did you look at it?" Ryeowook demanded, tone bordering on hysteric.
"I… d-don't know, I just… I wanted… I'm sorry."
Ryeowook pulled away and carried the book over to the desk, the thought of finishing it now seeming unbearable. He placed it down on the chair and started to clear the rest away, putting the photos into the photo box, tidying his stationary and craft supplies, and brushing the rest into the bin. Zhou Mi watched him, heart thumping guiltily.
"Wookie…" he paused and sighed to himself. Ryeowook didn't turn around. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to… to wreck it for you or anything… and… you know…" he cringed as Ryeowook raised his hand to his face, placing it over his eyes and then dragging it down to his mouth, staring at the wall.
"It was nice, looking through those memories," he said quietly. "I'd forgotten some of them."
"Hyung…" Ryeowook sighed.
Zhou Mi winced again and escaped, closing the door behind him. Ryeowook clenched his eyes shut as it snapped closed, trotting over to sink down on the bed. He buried his face in his still-trembling hands, trying to calm himself down.
He didn't know. He'd seen everything and he still didn't suspect anything. Ryeowook took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, hugging himself as his heart and hands steadied.
He didn't know.
Tears sprung to Ryeowook's eyes again.
Was that a good thing or a bad thing?
* * *
"Wookie-ah, where are you going?"
"Just… I'm going for a walk."
Leeteuk frowned slightly. "It's kind of late."
Ryeowook pulled a face. "It's only ten. I'll be back soon."
Leeteuk shrugged. His dongsaengs were all grown men, they could take care of themselves. "Just… make sure you have your phone and call if anything happens."
"Yes, hyung." He checked that his phone was, in fact, in his pocket, then wrapped his scarf around his neck and slipped out.
Zhou Mi came out of the bathroom soon after, his hair still damp as he looked around the room. "Where's Wookie?"
"He went for a walk."
"Huh? When?"
"Like, ten seconds ago."
"Oh…" Zhou Mi hesitated. "Well, I'm gonna go too. See you later." He shoved his feet into his shoes and grabbed his jacket, out the door and down the fire stairs before anyone could stop him.
"Weirdo," Kyuhyun noted, sinking deeper into the couch.
"Yeah, who gets dressed into clothes like that at this time? Ohh… do you think they're going somewhere?"
Kyuhyun rolled his eyes. "No, hyung, I think they just marched out the door with the intention of walking around in tiny circles for an hour or so."
Heechul threw his slipper at his head. "Shut up."
* * *
"Ryeowook!"
Ryeowook turned to see Zhou Mi running after him and waited. The older man caught up and leant on his shoulder, catching his breath.
"What's up with you?"
"Just… ran down the stairs."
Ryeowook frowned and laughed. "Why? Couldn't you wait for the elevator?"
"But then you might get too far ahead."
Ryeowook blushed slightly and shook his head. Zhou Mi smiled. It had been a week since he'd looked at the memory book, and fortunately, it seemed as though Ryeowook had forgiven him. Things were about as comfortable as they had been before. "Can I come with you?"
"Um…" Ryeowook hesitated.
Zhou Mi felt slightly hurt. "Please? Oh!" his eyes widened. "Are you meeting someone?"
"No! No, no, I'm not. You can come. But I'm just walking."
"Cool." Zhou Mi beamed and buried his hands in his pockets. It was cool, but not too cold out, the breeze the main chill factor. It blew through his wet hair and made him shiver slightly. He hooked one arm around Ryeowook's and then slid his hand back into his pocket, smiling as the younger man looked down and blushed.
They walked in silence for a long time, breath fogging the air in front of their faces, arms linked.
"Do you always go the same way when you go walking?" Zhou Mi asked eventually.
"Yeah." Ryeowook smiled. "Almost there."
"Huh? Almost where?"
"The place."
"What place?"
Ryeowook didn't reply, trotting faster and pulling his hyung along across the grass until they got to a large tree. "Here." He pulled his arm free and started to clamber up it, looking back when he was halfway up. "Coming?"
"O-okay?" Zhou Mi placed his hands on the rough bark and tried to follow Ryeowook's path. It took him several tries to get onto the first branch. It had been years since he'd climbed a tree. It didn't help that Ryeowook was laughing at him from up above his head.
"Shut up! Stop laughing at me."
Ryeowook grinned down through the leaves. "It's just that you always seem so graceful."
Zhou Mi pouted, one of his legs next to his arm with his knee up near his ear, the other foot scrabbling at the trunk. "You're so mean."
Ryeowook just laughed again, reaching a hand down. "Come on."
Zhou Mi took the hand, hauling himself up onto another branch, pleased to see that it would be fairly easy from here on up.
Ryeowook only went a bit higher, perching on a fairly sturdy branch and waiting for Zhou Mi to catch up. "That one's a good one to sit on." He tapped the one below and slightly to the side of his with his foot. Zhou Mi hesitantly sat down where he pointed, while Ryeowook moved to straddle his own branch and lean back against the trunk.
"You just sit up here?"
"Yeah." Zhou Mi looked up at Ryeowook's distant tone, seeing him tipping his head back and looking up. He followed his gaze, staring up through a gap in the foliage at the twinkling night sky.
"It's… so clear," he murmured. How long had it been since he looked at the stars?
"Yeah, it is." Ryeowook smiled, legs swinging. Zhou Mi sat, mesmerized by the stars twinkling above their heads. He felt so peaceful, a nostalgic kind of ache settling in his heart. He leant over and rested his head against Ryeowook's hip and thigh, feeling a shiver run down the younger man's leg as he reached down to stroke his hair.
"It feels sad."
"I felt that way at first. But not anymore."
"Why not?"
Ryeowook considered. "Because beauty shouldn't be sad." His fingers trailed through Zhou Mi's damp bangs. "I have this moment whenever I come out to just be peaceful and look at the sky. That's not a sad thing. It makes me happy now."
"I see." But he couldn't shake off the heaviness in his chest.
He kept watching the sky for a while, then closed his eyes, concentrating on the feel of Ryeowook's hand on his head. Ryeowook noticed, heat creeping up his face.
Zhou Mi suddenly opened his eyes and pulled away, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his small camera - a thing he'd been carrying around everywhere since he'd seen Ryeowook's memory book. He stood up, face next to Ryeowook's, holding it out in front of them. "Smile."
Ryeowook tilted his head toward Zhou Mi, smiling obediently. The flash was like looking into the sun and he clenched his eyes shut, shaking the spots from his eyes. Zhou Mi chuckled, doing the same, then turned the camera around and looked at the photo. Ryeowook peered over as well, blushing as they both smiled at the result.
"Hyung?" he asked as Zhou Mi sat back down, hand going back to the older man's hair.
"Yes?"
Ryeowook hesitated for a long time, heart racing. He swallowed a few times, trying to convince his brain to allow his mouth to move. It shouldn't be so hard. Talking wasn't hard.
"What?"
Ryeowook took a breath. Nope. He still couldn't bring himself to say it.
"Never mind."
Where's my shooting star?
Suddenly Zhou Mi sighed and pulled away, stretching and standing up on the branch. "My butt hurts."
Ryeowook had to smile.
"Shall we go lie on the grass instead?"
He looked over. When he was standing up, Zhou Mi's face was about level with his. "Okay."
Zhou Mi leant over and kissed his cheek lightly before turning around and awkwardly clambering down. Ryeowook followed carefully, mind whirling.
What did that mean?
Zhou Mi stretched again as he leapt out of the tree, dancing out over the grass and toppling over to fall heavily on his back. Ryeowook hurried over, concerned, but Zhou Mi had done it on purpose. He reached up, grabbed Ryeowook's hand and pulled him down, moving so their bodies were pointed opposite directions with their heads next to each other's.
Ryeowook folded his hands over his stomach and went back to looking at the stars, letting himself feel dizzy and feel them move. Just a trick of the eye and his inner ear becoming confused, but he let himself imagine the Earth turning below him.
"Hey."
He turned his head to look at Zhou Mi. "Hm?"
"Thanks for letting me come."
Ryeowook felt his face heat up again. "S-sure."
Zhou Mi chuckled and turned back to the sky. Ryeowook watched his gorgeous smile for a moment, then also turned his head back.
"Ryeowook…"
"Yeah?"
"Your memory book…"
"…ye-e-s?"
"Why… is it only you and me?"
The skyscape above Ryeowook blurred and swirled. He felt sick. Zhou Mi propped himself up on his elbows to look at him. "Wookie?"
Ryeowook shrugged, saying nothing.
"Wookie…"
"It just… is." Ryeowook sat up. "I had a whole bunch of pictures of us and I wanted to put them in an album but I decided to make a memory book instead."
"Why?"
Because I love you, idiot. "Because… I had time and I was bored."
"Oh." Zhou Mi let himself drop, air escaping him in a sigh as he fell back on the ground. Ryeowook stayed sitting up, back to him. He felt tight all down his breastbone, wishing he could go back five minutes, return to the perfect moment they'd been sharing.
He shivered as Zhou Mi's fingers ran down his spine, grabbing his jacket and pulling him back down to lie in the grass. Zhou Mi reached up and turned his head to make him look at him, meeting his eyes silently. He searched his face for a long moment, then let a slight, sad smile curve his lips.
He shuffled closer, resting his nose against Ryeowook's cheek, his hair tickling the younger man's throat.
"Because I like you."
The words were barely a whisper. Zhou Mi smiled as he felt the cheek beneath his nose warm significantly. He raised a hand and pressed it to Ryeowook's other cheek, holding him close to his face. "Was that so hard?"
Ryeowook felt tears prick his eyes. "Yes."
"Well then, I'm sorry." Zhou Mi kissed the skin beside Ryeowook's eye. "I didn't realize I was so scary."
Ryeowook chuckled nervously, breath trembling. Zhou Mi's lips roamed over his temple, cheek and neck, fingers trailing lightly through his short blond hair. Ryeowook rolled over so his face was hovering above Zhou Mi's. He brushed the cold red bangs back, kissing his forehead. Zhou Mi laughed and sat up, turning around and pulling Ryeowook to his knees, wrapping his arms around him and humming into his shoulder.
"I like you too, Wookie."
Ryeowook held him close, gripping him tightly. "We should head back before Leeteuk-hyung starts freaking out."
Zhou Mi smiled, a true smile. "Okay."
They helped each other to their feet, brushing the grass off their jeans and jackets and pulling it out of their hair. Zhou Mi took Ryeowook's hand, twining their fingers, then slipped them both into his pocket. "Thank you."
"What?"
Zhou Mi smiled. "For showing me the stars."
* * *
"YOU SAID YOU'D BE BACK SOON! IT'S AFTER MIDNIGHT! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?"
Zhou Mi smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, hyung. But look! We're alive!"
Leeteuk glared at them. "Don't you backtalk me, mister."
"Sorry, hyung," Ryeowook echoed, pulling Zhou Mi towards the rooms. "We'll go to bed now. Goodnight!"
Leeteuk sighed. "Goodnight, Wookie." He made a threatening 'watching you' gesture at Zhou Mi.
* * *
Zhou Mi watched as Ryeowook carefully studded the final photo to the page - the one of them in the tree that night. He held out a hand as Ryeowook picked up his pens. "Can I write something?"
"Yeah?" Ryeowook handed them over. Zhou Mi smiled and started writing a rainbow message below the photograph. Ryeowook pouted at the characters flowing from under Zhou Mi's long fingers. "Mi, you know I'm really bad at reading Chinese."
Zhou Mi just smiled.
"What does it say?"
"You'll know when you learn to read."
"Mi!"
Zhou Mi grinned and kissed his cheek. "It's a secret."
"You're not fair."
"You love me anyway."
Ryeowook blushed. "Oh, yeah?" Zhou Mi pressed their lips together and he easily relented. "Okay, I do."
"Now, you'll pay attention when I teach you how to read."
"Hey! I always pay attention."
Zhou Mi beamed. "I love you."
~
Thanks for the memories
And for showing me the stars.
Beauty shouldn't be sad
So never be sad, love.
You'll be my star.