Very Normal
Title: Very Normal
Pairing: Lu Han/Lay
Rating: PG
Summary: Lu Han can be a little paranoid.
Notes: I wanted this to be more substantial. Oops. shesimplysmiles, ball's in your court now :D
"You go first."
"No you."
"You're the one who asked."
"Fine, let's do it on a count of--"
"One--"
"--two--"
"--Three! I haven't taken a dump in three days," says Lu Han.
"I had a weird dream about us last night," says Yixing at the same time.
"Way to be specific."
Yixing's gaze moves towards the carpet and stays there. "You were kind of naked."
***
Next to Jongdae Minseok's Chinese seems so incompetent that management has forbidden him from using Korean in the dorm. He walks around the apartment with his earbuds in, watching Meteor Garden on his tablet without subtitles. Lu Han would be more impressed if he weren't freaking out.
"Can I talk to you?"
Minseok stops his pacing and removes an earbud. "Okay?"
"I just need to talk to someone right now."
Minseok stares at him and then nods slowly. "Okay."
"It was either you or Kris."
"Okay."
"What would you do if someone told you they had secret fantasies about you and all this time you'd been just really good friends?"
"Good?"
"No," Lu Han says in Korean. "Bad. Very bad."
"Good," Minseok says in Chinese and laughs, because he's a jackass.
"You suck."
"You suck," Minseok repeats after him gleefully. "How are you? I am hungry."
***
"That's a hypothetical question," Kris says after a long silence, fingers hovering over the laptop keyboard. He lays them down to rest one at a time, almost angrily, before turning to Lu Han.
"Er, yeah," Lu Han tries for a laugh. "Heh. Heh heh. Of course."
***
"I would tell her I'd felt the same way this whole time, and I'd give her the entire world, I want to grow old with her, I want her to bear my fat rosy-cheeked babies, twins, oh yeah I want twins, and they can have my flexibility and her pretty smile and Kris' alluringly asymmetrical eyes and... oh yeah, she's pretty, right?"
Lu Han slowly backs out of Zitao's room.
***
Lu Han decides he probably doesn't need Jongdae's feedback, if the answers of the other three were any indication.
***
Yixing is in the middle of finishing a large bag, or sack, of potato chips. "Should I come back at a more convenient time?" Lu Han jokes weakly. The joke falls flat and lands in the middle of the room like a sad scallion pancake. Instead of an elephant they get scallion pancakes, which are harder to ignore because they are so delicious.
"I'm stress-eating," Yixing says with his greasy mouth, his entire face shining.
"Why are you stressed?" Lu Han sits down on the bed a good foot away, partly evading the crumbs and partly because he's afraid.
"I don't know. You've been avoiding me."
"You said you were in love with me."
Yixing gapes at him. "I said I had this one weird dream, and you happened to be shirtless."
"Same thing."
"We were all at a car wash, and it was like a hundred degrees out. You left before I even got to the weird part."
It's Lu Han's turn to gape. "Oh." He feels like the biggest loser in the world and, oddly, a little disappointed. "What was the weird part?" He inches a little closer, crushing a handful of crumbs under his butt.
Yixing scrunches up the finished bag and aims at the trash can across the room. It goes in cleanly. "I don't want to tell you. You ignored me this whole week because you thought I was coming on to you."
"I wasn't ignoring you; I was figuring things out," Lu Han protests. "Wait, I mean. Not that there's anything to figure out."
"What did you figure out?" Yixing moves a little closer, too.
"Huang Zitao wants a three-way lovechild with Kris and a hot girl."
Yixing looks at him with the kind of blankness that Lu Han understands as horror. "I'm not telling you," he says finally.
"I told you mine," Lu Han points out. "Five days and counting."
Yixing makes the look again.
"What if I never poop again? What if I'm constipated with the anticipation of how your weird dream ended?"
Yixing shoves him in the face. Lu Han takes it as a sign that they're cool again.
***
Normally Lu Han likes his bed to himself, but Yixing gets one week's worth of free admission after Lu Han almost singlehandedly voided their best-friendship over an ungrounded fear that their bromance was going to flower into a romance or something.
It doesn't really make sense when he thinks about it, so he tries not to.
***
And it's working until one night Yixing goes, right when Lu Han's about to doze off, softly in his ear,
"So we were both shirtless and for some reason you leaned over and kissed me."
Lu Han doesn't realize he's been holding his breath. "That's the weird part?"
"Kind of." Yixing's voice gets smaller. "But the weirdest part was how not... bad it was. Like it was so not bad that we kind of continued doing it for... a while."
"Maybe I'm just a really good kisser."
"Yeah," Yixing whispers somberly. "You were."
***
Lu Han looks up from his blackened morning toast to see a grinning Jongdae hovering inches away.
"You should've asked me, hyung," Jongdae says, breathing his strawberry jam breath into Lu Han's face. "Minseok told me about your hypothetical question."
"What? He understood--? That little--"
"I would've said you were projecting." Jongdae leans in to steal a bite of the burnt bread, cackles, and runs away.
Pairing: Lu Han/Lay
Rating: PG
Summary: Lu Han can be a little paranoid.
Notes: I wanted this to be more substantial. Oops. shesimplysmiles, ball's in your court now :D
"You go first."
"No you."
"You're the one who asked."
"Fine, let's do it on a count of--"
"One--"
"--two--"
"--Three! I haven't taken a dump in three days," says Lu Han.
"I had a weird dream about us last night," says Yixing at the same time.
"Way to be specific."
Yixing's gaze moves towards the carpet and stays there. "You were kind of naked."
***
Next to Jongdae Minseok's Chinese seems so incompetent that management has forbidden him from using Korean in the dorm. He walks around the apartment with his earbuds in, watching Meteor Garden on his tablet without subtitles. Lu Han would be more impressed if he weren't freaking out.
"Can I talk to you?"
Minseok stops his pacing and removes an earbud. "Okay?"
"I just need to talk to someone right now."
Minseok stares at him and then nods slowly. "Okay."
"It was either you or Kris."
"Okay."
"What would you do if someone told you they had secret fantasies about you and all this time you'd been just really good friends?"
"Good?"
"No," Lu Han says in Korean. "Bad. Very bad."
"Good," Minseok says in Chinese and laughs, because he's a jackass.
"You suck."
"You suck," Minseok repeats after him gleefully. "How are you? I am hungry."
***
"That's a hypothetical question," Kris says after a long silence, fingers hovering over the laptop keyboard. He lays them down to rest one at a time, almost angrily, before turning to Lu Han.
"Er, yeah," Lu Han tries for a laugh. "Heh. Heh heh. Of course."
***
"I would tell her I'd felt the same way this whole time, and I'd give her the entire world, I want to grow old with her, I want her to bear my fat rosy-cheeked babies, twins, oh yeah I want twins, and they can have my flexibility and her pretty smile and Kris' alluringly asymmetrical eyes and... oh yeah, she's pretty, right?"
Lu Han slowly backs out of Zitao's room.
***
Lu Han decides he probably doesn't need Jongdae's feedback, if the answers of the other three were any indication.
***
Yixing is in the middle of finishing a large bag, or sack, of potato chips. "Should I come back at a more convenient time?" Lu Han jokes weakly. The joke falls flat and lands in the middle of the room like a sad scallion pancake. Instead of an elephant they get scallion pancakes, which are harder to ignore because they are so delicious.
"I'm stress-eating," Yixing says with his greasy mouth, his entire face shining.
"Why are you stressed?" Lu Han sits down on the bed a good foot away, partly evading the crumbs and partly because he's afraid.
"I don't know. You've been avoiding me."
"You said you were in love with me."
Yixing gapes at him. "I said I had this one weird dream, and you happened to be shirtless."
"Same thing."
"We were all at a car wash, and it was like a hundred degrees out. You left before I even got to the weird part."
It's Lu Han's turn to gape. "Oh." He feels like the biggest loser in the world and, oddly, a little disappointed. "What was the weird part?" He inches a little closer, crushing a handful of crumbs under his butt.
Yixing scrunches up the finished bag and aims at the trash can across the room. It goes in cleanly. "I don't want to tell you. You ignored me this whole week because you thought I was coming on to you."
"I wasn't ignoring you; I was figuring things out," Lu Han protests. "Wait, I mean. Not that there's anything to figure out."
"What did you figure out?" Yixing moves a little closer, too.
"Huang Zitao wants a three-way lovechild with Kris and a hot girl."
Yixing looks at him with the kind of blankness that Lu Han understands as horror. "I'm not telling you," he says finally.
"I told you mine," Lu Han points out. "Five days and counting."
Yixing makes the look again.
"What if I never poop again? What if I'm constipated with the anticipation of how your weird dream ended?"
Yixing shoves him in the face. Lu Han takes it as a sign that they're cool again.
***
Normally Lu Han likes his bed to himself, but Yixing gets one week's worth of free admission after Lu Han almost singlehandedly voided their best-friendship over an ungrounded fear that their bromance was going to flower into a romance or something.
It doesn't really make sense when he thinks about it, so he tries not to.
***
And it's working until one night Yixing goes, right when Lu Han's about to doze off, softly in his ear,
"So we were both shirtless and for some reason you leaned over and kissed me."
Lu Han doesn't realize he's been holding his breath. "That's the weird part?"
"Kind of." Yixing's voice gets smaller. "But the weirdest part was how not... bad it was. Like it was so not bad that we kind of continued doing it for... a while."
"Maybe I'm just a really good kisser."
"Yeah," Yixing whispers somberly. "You were."
***
Lu Han looks up from his blackened morning toast to see a grinning Jongdae hovering inches away.
"You should've asked me, hyung," Jongdae says, breathing his strawberry jam breath into Lu Han's face. "Minseok told me about your hypothetical question."
"What? He understood--? That little--"
"I would've said you were projecting." Jongdae leans in to steal a bite of the burnt bread, cackles, and runs away.