.081 How?
[.081 How?]
Sydney Alexis
"I need you to sign this," Gus said, waving a slip under Brian's nose before flopped gracelessly into the dining room chair opposite his father.
Brian's gaze went from the newspaper article he had been reading to the permission slip and then back at his son was was sitting in his SpongBob PJs, eating Cap'n Crunch, and trying to look innocent.
"Since when do ten year olds need to watch sex ed tapes," he said, eyeing the paper.
"Probably since Ashley decided to get pregnant at 12."
"Jesus," Brian said, reading over the paper more carefully. And then, as he hit the parent/guardian signature line, a thought occurred to him. "Why didn't you get one of your mothers to sign this?"
Gus rolled his eyes. "Mom would have gone all stuttery and said things like 'when a women loves another women very much, they go to their very best gay friend and ask him to whack off into a cup,'" Gus started, watching over his bowl of cereal as his dads tried valiantly not to laugh.
"And Momma would have launched into this stupid scientific explanation. Like I need to know about the changes that happen to a body when a woman's pregnant," he continued, scrunching his nose in disgust at the mere idea of it all.
Laughing at Gus' explanation, Justin reached across the table and snatched the paper from Brian's hand and began reading it aloud.
"Our course is an unbiased, purely scientific one designed to teach your child the basics of sexual education including but not limited to the changes of the body through puberty and types of protective and contraceptive devices.
"Our goal, however, is to impress upon our students the importance of abstinence..."
"Jesus," Justin muttered, throwing the paper back onto the table.
"Looks like it's up to us to teach the boy something useful," Brian said setting his coffee cup down and stood from the table.
"He's ten," Justin replied, raising an eyebrow.
"Going on 30," Brian volleyed, from the kitchen where he was rummaging around in the junk drawer and then the fridge.
He returned to the table with a box in one hand and a ridiculously large cucumber in the other.
"Trojans?" Justin said, wrinkling his nose when he saw the box.
"I did a campaign for them a couple of weeks ago. They gave me a couple of boxes for photography and 'trials,'" he answered, fishing a packet out of the box.
"Ah," Justin answered, watching first the amused expression Brian offered and the horrified one Gus had while looking at the massive cucumber.
"All right, Sonny Boy, pay attention. This," he said, holding up a condom between his middle and ring finger, "This is a cheap ass condom, but for display purposes, it'll work."
Ripping the packet open with his teeth, he listened to the slight gasp from the other side of the table and tried to suppress a smile -- Justin and his Pavlovian responses.
"Don't ever let anyone fuck you without one," Brian said, eyes meeting and holding Gus' until he'd insured he was paying attention before offering Justin a meaningful smile.
Gus watched with wide eyes as his father demonstrated and talked his way through the process.
When he was finished, he tossed the plastic encased vegetable at his son.
"Bring that to school and show the kiddies," he said, ruffling his kid's hair.
"I think you scarred him for life," Justin tsked as he cleaned up the breakfast dishes from the table.
fanfic100: 51/100
Sydney Alexis
"I need you to sign this," Gus said, waving a slip under Brian's nose before flopped gracelessly into the dining room chair opposite his father.
Brian's gaze went from the newspaper article he had been reading to the permission slip and then back at his son was was sitting in his SpongBob PJs, eating Cap'n Crunch, and trying to look innocent.
"Since when do ten year olds need to watch sex ed tapes," he said, eyeing the paper.
"Probably since Ashley decided to get pregnant at 12."
"Jesus," Brian said, reading over the paper more carefully. And then, as he hit the parent/guardian signature line, a thought occurred to him. "Why didn't you get one of your mothers to sign this?"
Gus rolled his eyes. "Mom would have gone all stuttery and said things like 'when a women loves another women very much, they go to their very best gay friend and ask him to whack off into a cup,'" Gus started, watching over his bowl of cereal as his dads tried valiantly not to laugh.
"And Momma would have launched into this stupid scientific explanation. Like I need to know about the changes that happen to a body when a woman's pregnant," he continued, scrunching his nose in disgust at the mere idea of it all.
Laughing at Gus' explanation, Justin reached across the table and snatched the paper from Brian's hand and began reading it aloud.
"Our course is an unbiased, purely scientific one designed to teach your child the basics of sexual education including but not limited to the changes of the body through puberty and types of protective and contraceptive devices.
"Our goal, however, is to impress upon our students the importance of abstinence..."
"Jesus," Justin muttered, throwing the paper back onto the table.
"Looks like it's up to us to teach the boy something useful," Brian said setting his coffee cup down and stood from the table.
"He's ten," Justin replied, raising an eyebrow.
"Going on 30," Brian volleyed, from the kitchen where he was rummaging around in the junk drawer and then the fridge.
He returned to the table with a box in one hand and a ridiculously large cucumber in the other.
"Trojans?" Justin said, wrinkling his nose when he saw the box.
"I did a campaign for them a couple of weeks ago. They gave me a couple of boxes for photography and 'trials,'" he answered, fishing a packet out of the box.
"Ah," Justin answered, watching first the amused expression Brian offered and the horrified one Gus had while looking at the massive cucumber.
"All right, Sonny Boy, pay attention. This," he said, holding up a condom between his middle and ring finger, "This is a cheap ass condom, but for display purposes, it'll work."
Ripping the packet open with his teeth, he listened to the slight gasp from the other side of the table and tried to suppress a smile -- Justin and his Pavlovian responses.
"Don't ever let anyone fuck you without one," Brian said, eyes meeting and holding Gus' until he'd insured he was paying attention before offering Justin a meaningful smile.
Gus watched with wide eyes as his father demonstrated and talked his way through the process.
When he was finished, he tossed the plastic encased vegetable at his son.
"Bring that to school and show the kiddies," he said, ruffling his kid's hair.
"I think you scarred him for life," Justin tsked as he cleaned up the breakfast dishes from the table.
fanfic100: 51/100