No More Hiding (2/2)
Wonshik doesn't just go online to read up on homosexuality and its yays and nays. He realizes, with great interest, that human sexuality isn't just about being gay or straight or bisexual anymore, but there's a whole spectrum of other orientations that he's never heard of. He had no idea that some people don't experience sexual attraction at all, or that some only feel it when they've developed strong feelings for someone else, and when he finds out about pansexuality, he reads up on it with great interest.
In the midst of everything he realizes rage is building up inside of him, because even though so many people are included in these groups, they are never represented anywhere, no matter where he looks. And he wonders dimly, how can a person ever be sure of their orientation if they have no information on what they mean? Even right now, Wonshik thinks the reason why he's confused about his possible attraction towards another man is because he's always thought it isn't supposed to be that way.
He thinks of the night Hakyeon complained to him about Inguk's hotness, specifically the moment when he asked Wonshik to have sex with him. It makes his ears heat up, and he's sure if the offer had been placed on his table right now, he would say no. But he can't deny that in the moment when it happened, he was tempted.
And it's that, more than anything, that leads him to wonder if he really is straight, after all.
He thinks about it for a long time, but what with their comeback coming up they hardly see anyone new, and they rarely have time to think about sex that involves other people, so Wonshik immediately finds himself stuck. Luckily, of course, there is still the internet.
The whole thing honestly freaks him out a little bit, and he wants to make sure he's still who he always was, so he chooses some nice, normal, ordinary porn to start him off, the kind where a plumber comes to her house and then suddenly there are breasts everywhere. And he's relieved, in a gross way that makes him dislike himself a little more, that he still enjoys it, he's still attracted to women and all their wondrous curves and bends.
So, feeling a little surer of himself and the hardness between his thighs, he enters the gay section of the site. He scrolls through thumbnails with the volume on low, headphones placed securely on his head with one ear free, just in case Sanghyuk would wake up and ask him what he was up to, and his stomach is a knot of arousal as he does so. He decides that he can't know what he would like on the first try and just presses a video randomly, and he bites nervously at his fingernails as he watches all sixteen minutes of the footage.
He disappears off to the bathroom afterwards, too hard to even walk properly, and he doesn't know what to think about when he relieves himself in the silence and darkness of their bathroom, so he doesn't think about anything at all, just revels in the lingering lust he collected earlier, and after he comes, he sits on the toilet with the lid down just to feel himself breathe. Alive.
He's messing with important things now, and he knows that maybe his life would be easier if he just left it alone. But with every day, he feels more through with pretending, angrier at the world for not letting Hakyeon be who he is. So he refuses to slow down.
Wonshik finds Hakyeon in the kitchen one day, cutting apples in half. There are small bowls of crackers and other snacks placed on the counter in front of him, and Wonshik snatches one for himself.
"What's the occasion?" he asks, and Hakyeon gives him a reprimanding glare.
"Just serving some snacks for the kids," he replies. "I thought we could have a talk."
"Yeah?" Wonshik asks, leaning his back against the counter. "Do you want any help?"
"No, that's fine," Hakyeon says, a small smile on his lips. Wonshik nods and is about to leave when Hakyeon speaks again. "I'm going to tell them."
Wonshik slides across the floor to stand right next to him. "Really?" Hakyeon nods. He looks confident, but the shakiness in his smile fools no one. "Hyung, seriously! Why didn't you tell me?"
"I'm telling you now," Hakyeon says, shrugging.
"This is so great," Wonshik says, gripping the other's shoulder to show that he is not even a little worried, when he is, in fact, very worried. Hakyeon smiles at him, and Wonshik helps him set everything up on the living room floor, and then he gets the others, lures them out with promises of snacks, the only thing that never fails.
They sit, Wonshik between Hakyeon and Hongbin, with Taekwoon on Hakyeon's other side, followed by Jaehwan and Sanghyuk, completing the circle. They talk about everything that has happened recently, how their comeback has been postponed for an entire month, problems in the business side, yada yada yada. Wonshik finds himself thankful, when Hongbin is all smiles as usual, for the other members' ability to forgive and move on. You have to be, he supposes, in this industry. Holding grudges won't get them anywhere. But he has a sneaking feeling that Jaehwan never really does, that he remembers everything, and cares enough about their wellbeing to tell himself it doesn't matter. Jaehwan is the only one among them who can survive without forgiveness.
"Honestly," Hakyeon says when the plate of apple halves is empty and only the driest crackers remain, "I want to tell you guys something."
Wonshik's breath gets caught in his lungs and he waits, giving Hakyeon a look that he hopes is supportive. He shouldn't be worried. He refuses to be worried. These people are his family.
"What is it?" Hongbin asks, eyeing a cracker suspiciously. With every right.
"I..." Hakyeon begins, but falters. "This is really hard for me to say, so I'm just going to say it."
That breaks Hongbin's attention away from the snack in his hand. Wonshik wants to laugh, but holds it in, and instead he focuses on Sanghyuk's worried expression. "Is it bad?"
Hakyeon shrugs with a laugh, but there are tears in his eyes again. "I'm... I'm gay."
They all fall silent, and Wonshik has to repress his want to sit in front of Hakyeon and shield him from any negative reaction they might have. He looks from Taekwoon to Hongbin, all around the circle, but none of them say anything, and their faces show nothing but surprise.
Jaehwan speaks first. He doesn't even look surprised, not pleased or otherwise, and he looks at them all before saying: "Okay."
Hakyeon widens his eyes at him. "Okay?" he repeats. "Just like that?"
"Well, it's not like it isn't obvious," Jaehwan replies, reaching over to grab another dry cracker. Hakyeon pales, and Wonshik thinks no, hyung, not that. Jaehwan looks up to see the horrified expression on their leader's face, and seems to realize his mistake. "I mean, ah, I don't mean it like that," he laughs. "Call it gaydar. Between one gay person and another, I mean."
Everyone's attention turns to Jaehwan. "Are you?" Hakyeon asks when he finds his voice again, and Wonshik thinks he can see a thin layer of sweat around his temples.
"Oh, no," Jaehwan says. "Bisexual." Hakyeon's mouth forms into an 'o'. Jaehwan holds up his cracker. "Cheers," he says, before swallowing it in one bite.
"Really? You, hyung?" Hongbin asks, and Jaehwan throws him a confused glance before he nods. Wonshik looks from Hakyeon to Jaehwan and back again, and Hakyeon looks both surprised, relieved and a little... stumped.
"So, let me get this straight," Hakyeon says, and Jaehwan gives a gurgling laugh at the word 'straight' (some of the power from the cracker comes out of his nose), "Ken being bisexual is somehow more surprising than me being gay?"
"Kind of," Sanghyuk says, and even Taekwoon gives a slight nod from his corner.
"But... you guys don't have a problem with this?" Hakyeon asks then, sounding suspicious, almost challenging, like he wants someone to say something just so he can defend himself. Wonshik realizes it then, that Hakyeon probably always feels more or less accused, more or less guilty, regardless of if someone insults him or not.
Sanghyuk shakes his head, playing with his fingers a little. Hongbin shakes his head, too, but shrugs and says: "It's none of my business. Whatever floats your boat, hyung."
Taekwoon inches further into their circle. "You... You won't do anything rash, will you?" he asks, eyeing Hakyeon seriously.
Hakyeon shakes his head, seeming almost relieved that he'll get a reason to defend himself at least somewhat. "I would never risk it," he says. "Please trust me on that."
And Taekwoon nods, biting his lip. "Then it's fine by me."
Wonshik catches Hakyeon's eye and smiles, but Hakyeon doesn't seem ready for that just yet. "Can I just..." Sanghyuk asks, raising his hand, "hand up if you're straight?"
And in just a moment, Wonshik wonders if he's supposed to raise his hand, for his own sake or for the others', because he isn't completely sure if he's straight or not - but then again, a straight person wouldn't get off to gay porn, would he? So, he does nothing, and it takes him a few moments to realize that the only two with their hands in the air are Hongbin and Sanghyuk.
His eyes lock with Taekwoon's, and they both look equally shocked with each other's confession. Then he looks to Hakyeon, whose eyes go from You? to How come you never told me to Oh, I guess that's none of my business, all in the span of two seconds. Wonshik laughs despite himself.
He arrives back on earth with Sanghyuk's shocked "Hyung!" and he looks over to see him switching his gaze between him and Taekwoon, like he can't comprehend what he's seeing. Wonshik chokes. "Hyung first," he coughs, gesturing towards Taekwoon, who looks completely unfazed.
He doesn't look at either of them when he speaks, and Wonshik has known him long enough to know that even though Taekwoon doesn't get very insecure, he is definitely out of his comfort zone right now. "I'm not gay," he says, and frowns a little. "But I'm not straight. I'm... neither. I don't get attracted to people."
"You're... you're asexual?" Hakyeon asks carefully. Taekwoon gives him a short look before shrugging. "But when you were together with-"
"Oh, we don't say her name," Hongbin reminds the leader loudly, and Hakyeon catches himself with a hand over his mouth.
"When... you two were together," he corrects himself. "Didn't you..?"
Taekwoon rolls his eyes. "We did."
Hakyeon stares at him expectantly. "And?"
"And?" Taekwoon repeats. "It was good."
Hongbin covers his eyes with his hand as he laughs, and Sanghyuk looks a little too pleased for Wonshik's taste, but he lets it slide. Mostly because since no one wants to push Taekwoon into saying too much, they have all directed their attention to him, and he realizes he still has some explaining to do.
"So how about you?" Hakyeon asks, lightly slapping his knee, and Wonshik supposes he had it coming.
"I'm..." he tries, looks around the circle and feels enormously embarrassed. "It's a bit hard to explain, but I think I'm... pansexual."
"Huh?" Hongbin says, "What's that?"
"Well," Wonshik replies, clearing his throat, too aware of Hakyeon staring at him thoughtfully. "It basically means that gender doesn't matter. You... like everyone, to put it like that."
"Really?" Sanghyuk asks, laughter tumbling out in his words. "No wonder your lyrics are all so perverted then, hyung, if you're attracted to everyone!"
Hongbin looks like he wants to laugh, but then he catches the look on Wonshik's face, and he stops himself.
"That's mean," Jaehwan mumbles.
"Listen, you brat," Wonshik says, anger welling up as he turns to the youngest, "it's not that I am attracted to everyone, it's just that I have the ability to be. Got it?"
"Alright, alright," Sanghyuk says, holding up his hands as his smile slowly falters. "I'm sorry."
"You should be." Sanghyuk nods, but a trace of his smile is still alive. "I'm serious."
"Yeah, I know, me too. I really am sorry."
"Okay," Hakyeon says, clapping his hands together to divert their attention. "Sanghyuk will learn to think before he speaks and then we'll start to clean up in here-"
"No, really," Sanghyuk says, leaning across the circle to place an arm on Wonshik's elbow. "It was a dumb joke, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be joking about stuff I don't understand."
And something melts in Wonshik. "Apology accepted," he says, because he still remembers the importance of forgiveness.
"Aw, Hyukie," Hakyeon coos, and the youngest shakes his head at him. And there's nothing new in Sanghyuk's eyes, no resistance to Hakyeon's manhandling and fussing that wasn't there before, no ancient homophobia that needs to melt and thaw, and they are still the same people they always were.
Wonshik looks around at all of them as this short intermission of labeling in their busy lives come to an end, and the only thing that has changed is that most of their hearts feel lighter. Never, he thinks, has he been more thankful to have them by his side.
"I can't take it anymore," Hakyeon groans, head against the wall next to the window. His fists are red and sore from having given said wall a long and aggressive beating, and there are tears in the corners of his eyes again.
Wonshik watches him do his thing. The things that were supposed to become easier for Hakyeon after accepting who he is haven't changed. The breakdowns still come, just as often as before, and the only difference is that now the other members understand what is happening, and they leave it up to Wonshik to try to sort him out. Just as always.
He supposes that's something, at least. But watching Hakyeon torture himself over the same issues over and over again isn't getting any easier.
"You can," Wonshik tries. "You've made it this far."
"I can't," Hakyeon cries into the wall. "I feel like I'm dying."
"Hyung, tell me what's wrong. What are you thinking of?"
"I- I need someone," he sobs. "I want to love someone who loves me. Why can't I have that?"
"You will," Wonshik assures him. "Someday, I promise you."
"Why did I have to turn out this way?" the older pleads, rolling his body along the wall until his back is leaned against it instead. "Why couldn't I be normal?"
"You are normal," Wonshik says, heart aching at the sight before him. "You will meet the right guy at the right time, I promise you."
"You don't know that," Hakyeon cries. "I feel so fucking alone."
Wonshik gets off the couch he was sitting on. He walks up to his leader, who has his eyes downcast, staring at the floor as he holds his forehead with one hand, as though he has a terrible headache. Wonshik puts his hands on his shoulders. "No matter what, you are not alone, hyung. Do you hear me?" Hakyeon nods, but Wonshik can tell it doesn't help. "I'm right here. The others are here too. We're all here for you."
"But I need more," Hakyeon cries. "I need someone to love me, really love me, like in the movies, or the songs we sing day in and day out."
"You will, hyung," Wonshik repeats, wiping a tear from his cheek.
"I wish I could just walk up to a random guy, celebrity or not, and ask for his number, but I can't fucking do that, can I?" Hakyeon rambles. "I feel like I have to choose between ruin all of our lives or just my own, and I hate it, I hate it so much."
"Deep breaths," Wonshik says, simply because that's all he can think to say.
"No, fuck you," Hakyeon says, knocking his hands off his shoulders. "You said accepting myself would make it easier, thinking I actually deserved to be who I am, when there's no fucking way to be this mess of a person anyway." Wonshik feels a knot in his stomach, guilt, maybe, or just sadness over the fact that this is the truth. Even though he didn't want to see it, maybe Hakyeon is right. Maybe there is no way to live your life as a gay person in this industry and be happy. "You keep talking about being myself and embracing who I am, yet you couldn't even tell me you're pansexual yourself, so what the fuck do you know? No matter what, you will always have your attraction towards women left in you, so you can always turn around and pretend to be normal without suffering, but I can't do that, Wonshik, okay?" Wonshik takes a step back, a little frightened by the hateful glare in Hakyeon's eyes. "So don't think you understand. You really don't."
"Yes, because if I fall in love with a man, it's just to turn around and go looking for a woman instead, is that it?!" Wonshik yells, more insulted than he can remember being in a long time. And why is that? Why is he arguing for the risk of having his life ruined? He doesn't know.
Hakyeon's gaze flickers down to his lips for a fraction of a second before they come back up to his eyes, and this is what has changed between them since Wonshik came out, even though he wants to believe nothing changed at all; Hakyeon sometimes looks at his lips when they're standing closely together and Wonshik thinks he can see what he's thinking. He thinks he can see the thought as if it is physically there: I could kiss him right now and I wouldn't have to deal with his homophobia. But Wonshik knows that Hakyeon is desperate for intimacy, and no matter how much he clings onto all of them it can't be satiated.
And who knows, maybe Wonshik is just imagining it all, anyway.
But god help him if he isn't at least a little bit curious.
Hakyeon throws his arms into the air to show how little he cares, and then he walks around Wonshik to throw himself down on their living room couch. The other members are cowering in their rooms, because Wonshik told them to. He suspects, though, that if they keep yelling, Taekwoon will come out to separate them soon.
"You are not the only one who's scared, you know," Wonshik half-yells. "You're not the only one who's suffering right now."
"Fuck off," Hakyeon grunts, turning over on his side to press the front of his body into the back of the couch.
Wonshik feels like he's about to boil over, flip a switch in his head because everything is so confusing and has been ever since-, no, since always, and he's getting too fucking tired of it. He scratches at his face with his nails, as hard as he can until it starts to hurt, and he knows that all too often he needs to be the bigger person, because it's always worth it in the end. Hakyeon will come back around, and he will feel so fucking sorry about the things he just said. And that, Wonshik guesses, is punishment enough. He doesn't need Wonshik to insult him too.
He sits down on the edge of the couch, and ignores it when Hakyeon nudges at him with the back of his leg, wordlessly telling him to go the fuck away. Shave his head leave the country, somewhere far away. Preferably somewhere much warmer, Wonshik thinks, and then he counts to ten, calms himself as well as he can. And then he thinks about it all again, and realizes what it's all really about.
"You'll be okay, hyung," he says. "Nobody has died from loneliness." Even though gay people are three times as likely to, he thinks, and he shudders.
"At this point I kind of wish I would," Hakyeon says, and it comes out muffled by the back cushion.
"Don't say that," Wonshik mumbles. The sting in his heart is too much to bear.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to say," Hakyeon says then, rolling over on his back. "I feel like I'm dying all the time. I don't know how the heart goes through so much pain without just... stopping."
Wonshik places a hand on his leg. "I don't either," he says. Hakyeon looks up at him, and his true self seems to be back, along with the guilt.
"Wonshik-"
"You don't have to say it," Wonshik interrupts. "I know."
"I'm such a horrible person," Hakyeon says then, and sits up, wrapping his arms around Wonshik's shoulders. "It's hard for you too, of course I know that. God, I just go out of my mind sometimes. Do you forgive me? I'm so sorry."
"Don't worry about it," he says, though in all honesty he feels wounded, like he was left out in the cold by the only person who would understand and share his worries. He knows Hakyeon's apologies are sincere, however, so he thinks wherever his wounds are, they should be closing up right about now. "I know it's difficult for you. And I think I've figured out how you work by now."
He realizes what that sounded like a moment too late, and he isn't surprised when Hakyeon pulls back. His eyes are sad, but he isn't crying anymore. Guilt is what Wonshik hates to see on Hakyeon's face the most. "I'll do better," the older says then, and Wonshik wants to argue, but at the same time he can't deny that Hakyeon's words hurt him. That they remain in the back of his brain. "I'll do better, I promise. I can't keep taking this out on you."
"Don't push me away," Wonshik says, a little too fast, and Hakyeon smiles sadly at him.
"Of course not," he replies. "I would never." He holds onto Wonshik's shoulder, and Wonshik is blinded by this image of the two of them, how much they depend on each other, how much they need each other. And for a moment he wonders how long it will go on for, until the end of VIXX or longer, or until they find somebody better. The thought leaves a bitter stripe right through his mind.
Hakyeon's tears come again, almost an hour later. Wonshik is exhausted, but so is Hakyeon, and Wonshik thinks the tears have more to do with that than anything else. Hakyeon lies down on the couch, pressing his face into the back again, as if it would make him feel embraced and warm and it would help hold him together.
Wonshik takes pity on him, and himself. So he lies down next to him, wraps an arm around his waist and holds him close. It's alright, he thinks, because it's not the first time it has happened. It's true that the members only have each other.
"I don't want to die, Wonshik," Hakyeon whispers. It's hard to say if he's trying to comfort Wonshik or if he's scared he will end up killing himself in the end, so for a while Wonshik doesn't know what to reply.
"Good," he says in the end. "Then you won't."
Despite knowing that everyone dies someday, Wonshik still has a point. Hakyeon is strong, and he will get through this. No matter whether or not he has Wonshik by his side.
But then, of course, inevitably it happens. Because all it takes is just one moment, one slip-up, and the truth is out there.
Afterwards, Hakyeon wishes they had been more careful, of course. But they weren't, the other members tell him, so there's no use in thinking like that. Now they need to focus on how to handle this.
The six of them are up on the roof of their dorm, alone, with their cellphones piled up in a tower between them, each of them ringing and vibrating nonstop with incoming calls and messages. Neither of them makes a move to answer, and neither of them feels a need to do so. They don't know what exactly they'd be met with if they picked up, but they don't want to know. They'll deal with reality soon enough. Just not yet.
"I'm sorry," Hakyeon says. He receives no response.
They are lying on their backs on the rooftop, in the same formation they sat when Hakyeon first came out: Wonshik between Hakyeon and Hongbin, Taekwoon on Hakyeon's other side, followed by Jaehwan and Sanghyuk, completing the circle. Their hands are clasped, and together they form a star with their bodies, all of them hoping and praying that things won't go too far.
And he hates to admit it, but now that the truth is out there, it's almost a relief to Wonshik's brain, because they don't have to worry about it anymore. The consequences still remain to be seen, but Wonshik has realized that sometimes, the fear is the worst part. The anticipation stings more than the slap. Of course, it's too soon to voice this out loud yet.
"They won't separate us," Taekwoon says in that quiet voice of his. "They won't."
"That's right, they won't," Hongbin says, and he sounds confident. Jaehwan says nothing, which worries Wonshik a little, but he tries to bask in Hongbin's faith as much as he can.
"I won't let that happen," Wonshik says, and he squeezes Hakyeon's hand in his. "I swear to you now, I won't let it."
He expects Hakyeon to give them a I'm wounded, go on without me-speech, but he says nothing. He doesn't cry. Wonshik knows, of course, that he feels so guilty that it's eating him up inside, and he will have to spend many days trying to pry those feelings away from the leader's guarding grip, but he will do it. He will. In time.
"They won't," Sanghyuk echoes softly, drowned out by the ringing of their phones.
They stare at the clouds drifting by in the sky above them. It's all they can do right now. And though Wonshik is lost somewhere deep in his mind, he knows that the others are there with him.
He knows a few more things now.
One: He doesn't want Hakyeon to die.
Two: Hakyeon won't die.
Three: Neither will Wonshik.
Four: He thought he wanted Hakyeon to stop hiding his identity, but that isn't truly it. What he really wants is for the world to stop making him feel like he needs to hide identity.
And who knows, he thinks sadly - someday, maybe.
VIXX's N spotted on a date with a man?
Early this morning, Dispatch revealed photographs of VIXX's N on what seems to be a date with another man. Most of the photographs show the two together in a car, while in one of them, they appear to be kissing. The man has his face hidden by his hoodie, glasses and scarf, and there is no word on who the mystery man might be.
"The two engaged in this car date for several hours before they drove back to VIXX's dorm", Dispatch's reporter stated. "They did step out of the car at times, but due to the other man's heavy disguise, we were unable to establish his identity."
Seeing it as the man with N was in a disguise, it has been speculated that he might also be a celebrity, and it has even been suggested that he could be one of the members of VIXX.
Jellyfish Entertainment has been contacted for a statement, and are currently looking into the the matter.
1. [+7,559, -107] ㅎㅎㅎ I'm excited to see how Jellyfish will handle this. If it was SM, they would probably say it was a girl dressed up as a boy to divert attention.
2. [+5,975, -94] Wow... This is a scandal if I ever saw one. Daebak.
3. [+4,911, -83] That is definitely a man. You can't see it well on the pictures of them in the car, but in the pictures of them walking together, he's taller than N. Definitely a man.
4. [+4,191, -76] This is better than a drama, seriously.
5. [+766, -17] So careless. And it's such a pity that it had to be a group like VIXX that are actually talented. I've been following them since ERROR.
6. [+660, -31] Remove him from the group. That's the only way to calm this storm.
7. [+580, -12] Jelpi, please handle this well... I'm a starlight since their debut ㅠㅠㅠㅠ
8. [+581, -14] Will these guys be okay without a leader?
9. [+553, -11] Why should he be kicked out of the group? It's just a date ㅠ
10. [+220, -64] I knew it was just a matter of time before the truth about these gays started coming out ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Jellyfish Entertainment releases statement regarding VIXX's N's scandal
Following the controversial images of VIXX's N kissing a man revealed by Dispatch earlier this week, Jellyfish Entertainment has finally stepped forward to release their statement.
SEE ALSO: [BREAKING] VIXX's N spotted on a date with a man
Hello, this is Jellyfish Entertainment.
Firstly, we want to offer our sincerest apologies to those that were shocked by the images that were presented to the public earlier this week. Staff did not know about the situation with N, and it has taken us some time to shed light on what has happened.
Many people are interested in the identity of the man seen with N, and we request that you respect the privacy of not only him, but also N. Whether the two are in a relationship is unclear, but when the time is right, we will relay the information to the best of our abilities.
VIXX are currently finishing preparation for their comeback. We have decided together with the members that N will not take part in promotions for this song. We hope that you will continue to cheer for VIXX and show them your support during this time.
Regarding N's future as a member of VIXX, we have yet to come to a decision. We want to listen to the opinions of the fans as much as we can, so we are currently reading messages from Starlights in the fancafé before choosing where we stand. Regardless of the outcome, we hope you will all support VIXX's new song, which drops on the 28th of this month.
Thank you.
SEE ALSO: VIXX's N drops out from his upcoming drama 'Beautiful Stranger'
As stated above, VIXX's new MV drops on the 28th, and their comeback stage will take place on Mnet MCountdown on the 30th.
VIXX take home the triple crown on Inkigayo with 'Armor'!
On today's broadcast of Inkigayo, VIXX won with their magic concept for the third consecutive week.
SEE ALSO: Hong Seok Cheon reveals his thoughts on N's scandal
During the encore, leader N teared up as he gave the thank you speech for the first time since his comeback as an active member of VIXX. "First off, I want to take this opportunity to apologize to everyone who was shocked by my actions earlier this year," he said. "Being able to meet so many Starlights here today after such a long time, I'm very happy. Thank you all for standing by VIXX. We love you. I will become a hardworking leader of a hardworking VIXX. Thank you so much for this award."
SEE ALSO: Controversial preview for VIXX's 'Healing Camp' episode revealed + N sheds tears as he recalls the group's hardships
VIXX will wrap up promotions for 'Armor' next week before embarking on their second Asia tour.