Notes on (almost) a scandal
Word Count: About 1000
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Not mine, more's the pity.
12th May
Commodore Norrington,
I congratulate you on your hospitality. Elizabeth and I were very pleased to attend your soirée last evening, and enjoyed ourselves immensely. I had meant to make mention of this last night but in truth there were so many guests I could not find you. Truly you are a gentleman and a most gracious host. A most diverting evening, although I must enquire after the health of your footman who I believe was found fainted in the pantry. So many guests to look after clearly taxed the man too much! A sign of a splendid gathering indeed!
With sincerest best wishes
Weatherby Swann
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Dear James,
Well, what an occasion! I mean no offence but the evening started out most ordinarily, despite the splendid fashion in which your house was decorated. However, the discovery of the unconscious Evans in the pantry certainly added an element of frisson. The Buckinghams were most disapproving, remarking predictably that one’s retainers should remain unseen. Very well done on that score, James, the Buckinghams deserve a good unsettling every now and again. Those I broached the subject with told me the poor dear had fainted, which is most unlike Evans. He seems such a hardy fellow. I do hope he isn’t ailing. Please pass on my best wishes to him.
Where were you all evening, come to that. After our short discourse above the hors d’oeuvres I barely glimpsed you. There weren’t that many people there, no matter what father says. And I could have sworn I heard Mrs Hughes telling her husband that there was to be an entertainment as she had seen a gypsy in the kitchen, although nothing of the sort appeared. I do hope no one took advantage of the party and broke in.
I hope this finds you in good health,
Affectionately,
Elizabeth
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13th May
To Commodore Norrington,
My commendations, sir, on a most agreeable evening this last Tuesday. I must say though, I am a trifle disappointed the evening ended without the planned entertainment. I do not wish to seem presumptuous, but I did espy the gypsy in the kitchen - part of some tumbling troupe no doubt. A rather raffish fellow I thought, in some ways he looked somewhat like a pirate with those beads and things in his hair!
Still, it shall be our secret, and mayhap we shall be amused by him and his fellows on some future occasion?
Warmest regards
Mrs Eugenia Hughes
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17th May
Darling Louisa,
By now you will of course have heard about the gathering James Norrington had last week. I however have more to say on the matter than I think you will see in the social column or hear at the next Ex-Patriate’s luncheon. The good Commodore has a secret which I trust you will not divulge, as my closest cousin I know I can tell you this in confidence.
Whilst Catherine Beaumont and I were admiring the terrace, the most remarkable man I have ever seen appeared in the garden! He was most disreputable and I thought at once to fetch the nearest officer, but he saw us and beckoned us to join him on the lawn. Ordinarily of course I would have returned to the party but Catherine was with me and he did not seem at all anxious that he was somewhere he oughtn’t so we approached him. He was dressed quite inappropriately and did not even remove his hat to greet us, which I thought most rude, however he was also singularly fascinating. He seemed unable to keep still and he was wearing his beard in a very strange fashion - it was plaited in two forks with little beads at the ends!
Catherine seemed quite taken with him despite his dirty clothes. He kept leering at us, flashing his gold teeth in a very disturbing way and I kept my fan closed so I could strike him if his actions became more untoward. All he seemed to want was that we didn’t mention that he was there and to keep it a surprise for the Commodore. He said he was a distant cousin and had come to visit. Well, the man was clearly lying - none of the Norringtons I’ve ever met have ever been less than six feet tall and the fellow was no taller than I. We walked with him back towards the house and he told us to keep “mother” for some reason before disappearing through the trapdoor to the wine cellar, of all places!
It is my opinion that starchy James has been working far too hard with this vexing Captain Sparrow business and has taken to gambling or some such diversion. The man we saw was obviously a ne’er-do-well of some sort, and if anyone would know about that sort, it would be Catherine Beaumont although of course I would never say such a thing!
We repaired to the dining room and I must say I don’t remember seeing the Commodore much after that although there was of course that business with the butler in the pantry. You don’t need me to bore you with that story, I’m sure you’ve heard it a dozen times by now. Please give my love to Aunt Helen and mother says can she have some damsons when they’re ripe if it’s not too much trouble.
Write to me soon,
Henrietta
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Had to go with the tide. Sorry again about the butler. ~J
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Dear Jack,
I must say, I You are without doubt the craziest man I have ever met. Turner told you, didn’t he? When are you You’re lucky no one else saw you, least of all Governor Swann. But I told you that last night. I know you couldn’t stay. Where are you off to this time? Although maybe it’s better if I don’t know. I would very much like
If you’re intent on becoming a regular in Port Royal society, Governor Swann is holding a garden party next month. I’m told the footmen will be blindfolded so you won’t need to hit any over the head with a skillet.
If only Maybe I too should keep any writings short.
Yours,
Jamie James Jamie
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A/N: I have no clue whether damsons would grow in the Caribbean, but Aunt Helen seems the type to have some regardless.