Fic: Teagan's Chance: Intoxicated

[signcherie]

Each chapter can stand on it's own, but if you want to read the previous stories, they are here: Teagan’s Chance, Love Lost
crossposted to dao_challenge , redcliffecastle

Title: Teagan’s Chance: Intoxicated
Author: SignCherie
Rating: T
Characters: Teagan, Alistair, fem!Mahariel, Anora, Eamon
Pairing: Teagan/Warden
Summary: The Blight has been defeated, and the Warden is single...

Teagan should have kissed her when he had the chance.

He had spent the most wonderful night of his life in the palace kitchens with River Mahariel, eating cake and strawberries and getting slowly drunk on dandelion wine, while the rest of the nobility celebrated the coronation in the ballroom. Teagan and River must have talked about everything under the sun--their childhoods, the Blight, the people they’d loved, their dreams and desires. They’d stayed up all night, talking and laughing, until the sun rising over the horizon told them they had better get to bed.

Teagan had walked her to her chambers, then, wondering how it was possible that she looked more beautiful than ever, with her hair tousled and her face flushed from the wine. She glanced at him, and then away, and her smile seemed to light up the corridor.

They arrived at her chambers, and she turned to Teagan, suddenly shy. “Teagan--thank you, for tonight. It was...perfect.”

Teagan couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from her face. He felt a little dizzy, and he wasn’t sure if it was because of the wine or simply her. “Perfect...yes, that’s exactly the word. It was perfect.”

He reached out and brushed a stray lock of hair out of her eyes, and she went very still. Teagan became very aware of how close they were. If he leaned in, just a little...if he took her in his arms...

River was breathing slightly fast. She turned her face up toward his, her eyes fluttering closed.

Teagan hesitated.

He wanted to kiss her more than anything. He could feel her nearness with every fibre of his being. But...well, she had had a lot to drink. He was fairly certain she was fond of him--she wouldn’t have left the ball with him if she wasn’t--but how much of her desire now was due to, well, him, and how much was influenced by the wine she’d drunk?

Teagan had been waiting for this moment for so long. Since he’d first seen her in the Redcliffe Chantry. And now that it was here...

He didn’t want it to be clouded by alcohol. He wanted to know, when he finally did kiss her, that she was completely in control of herself. That it was what she wanted, and not just him.

He moved his hand from her hair, tracing a line down the side of her face, and brushed his thumb against her lips. They parted slightly.

It took him a few attempts, but he managed to get the words out. “Good night, my lady.” His voice was rough.

She opened her eyes.

“Good night, Teagan,” she whispered.

He used all his willpower to walk away.

Despite having been awake all the night, when he climbed into bed, he hadn’t been able to sleep. Thoughts of River kept him awake: the lilt of her elvish accent, the way she’d laughed, a certain look she got in her eyes when she was teasing. He could hardly wait until he could see her again.

That, however, proved to be a problem.

He was invited to dinner with the new King and Queen that evening. He looked forward to it with great anticipation because River, as the new King’s Chancellor, would be there as well.

It was a small affair, just Alistair, Anora, Eamon, Isolde, River, and himself. River, Eamon and Isolde were already in the dining room when Teagan entered. He grinned.

“It’s an honor to see you again, my lady.”

River turned and met his eyes coolly. “Bann Teagan,” she said politely.

It was almost as if she’d slapped him.

He did not get a chance to ask the reason for her coldness. Queen Anora entered the room at that moment, and everyone stopped to pay their respects.

Throughout the dinner, Teagan tried to draw River out, but she remained aloof, speaking little to anyone and answering only when asked a direct question.

Finally, it was Alistair who threw down his fork in exasperation.

“Maker’s Breath, woman. What in Andraste’s name is wrong?”

Her face showed no change. “I apologize if I’ve been unpleasant company, Al--Your Majesty. It’s just a small headache.”

Alistair looked annoyed, but Anora interrupted him. “I’m so sorry to hear that, Warden,” she said sympathetically. “Perhaps you would like to be excused? We will not be offended.”

Alistair grimaced. “We most certainly--”

“Thank you, Your Majesty,” River interrupted, rising from the table. “I think I just need to lie down for a bit.”

To Teagan’s dismay, she bowed and slipped from the room.

Alistair scowled at Teagan. “This is your fault,” he accused.

“Me?”

“Yes, you! What did you do to her, anyway?”

Teagan was flabbergasted. “I’ve done nothing, Your Majesty, I swear!”

“That’s quite a supposition, Your Majesty.” Eamon furrowed his brow. “What in Maker’s name does Teagan have to do with our Hero?”

“She said she had a headache, and that’s it.” Anora folded her hands in front of her. “I see no reason to disrespect our Warden by mistrusting her words. Now, shall we carry on with dinner?”

Alistair looked as if he’d very much like to argue, but he shut his mouth.

As soon as dinner was concluded, Teagan went straight to River’s quarters. He was outside her door, hand poised to knock, when he stopped.

She had told Anora that she wasn’t feeling well. What if that was the truth? Maybe she was sleeping right now, and he was about to wake her up.

Even if she wasn’t...this was hardly appropriate behavior. A gentleman didn’t visit a lady’s quarters at night, unescorted. Well, okay, he had visited his share of ladies’ quarters, but this was different. River was...special.

He sighed and dropped his hand. He would see her tomorrow. That would be soon enough for his questions.

Except...things didn’t work out quite as planned.

By the end of the second day, it was clear that River was avoiding him. She kept herself very busy all day, taking care of important Chancellor duties, no doubt. Still, their paths should have crossed at least once or twice during the day. Teagan was staying on in the palace to assist King Alistair with certain affairs of state, and yet he never saw River once.

That evening, when the day’s business was concluded, Teagan did knock on River’s door, propriety be damned, but there was no answer.

The third day, Teagan slipped away near lunchtime and sneaked down to the palace kitchens, on a hunch that River might be there.

His hunch was correct. She was there, looking as breathtaking as always. She had a sandwich in her hand and appeared to be in the middle of a conversation with one of the palace cooks, an older elf woman.

“...don’t care what anyone said,” the cook was saying. “I saw the look in the gentleman’s eyes when he was with you, and I know--”

She saw Teagan, and stopped talking abruptly. River turned to see who was there.

She saw him, and paled.

“Teagan,” River said.

She looked back to the cook. The older elf gave River a significant look, gathered up a large mixing bowl, curtseyed once to Teagan, and moved off to another part of the kitchen.

Teagan took a step forward. “I’m glad I found you. I had hoped we could--”

“I’m terribly sorry, Bann Teagan,” River interrupted. “I’m afraid I’m late for a very important meeting. With the King’s treasurer, you know. Perhaps...we can speak another time.”

Without meeting his eyes, River hurried past him out of the kitchens.

Teagan’s heart fell into his shoes.

She really couldn’t have been any clearer. Teagan had wondered if she was truly interested in him, or if it had only been the wine affecting her judgment. Now he knew.

“What do you mean, you’re going back to Rainesfere?”

The young king glowered at Teagan from behind his very large desk.

Teagan, for his part, was baffled. “Your Majesty, you and your advisors have matters well in hand here. Rainesfere is still recovering from the Blight. There is only so much I can do via courier. It is time I returned home.”

“What about River?”

“River, Your Majesty?”

Alistair waved a hand impatiently. “Okay. Can you do something for me? Let’s drop the ‘Your Majesty’ bit. It’s ridiculous. You and Eamon are the closest thing I have to family.”

Teagan hadn’t known Alistair felt that way. “You do me great honor, Alistair,” he said quietly. “I have always considered you family as well.”

Alistair’s anger softened a bit. “Don’t try to distract me. You can’t leave now. You have to make things right with River.”

How in Andraste’s name did he know about that? A thought occurred to him. “Did River say something to you?”

Alistair scowled. “No, but she’s been moping around here for days. And rearranging her schedule so she never sees you. I’m not a complete fool, you know.”

He hid his disappointment. “No, of course not.”

“So, go make it right.”

Teagan sighed. He sat down in a chair opposite Alistair’s desk.

“I don’t know how.”

Something in his tone made Alistair pause. Maybe he could hear the hopelessness in his voice.

“She won’t even see me. When she does see me, she refuses to speak to me. She’s made it abundantly clear that she wants nothing to do with me. And I think...” It broke Teagan’s heart to say the next words. “I think I should respect her wishes.”

Alistair regarded Teagan for a moment.

Then he shook his head. “No.”

Teagan blinked. “What?”

“No. I won’t allow it.”

“But--what--”

Alistair leaned forward over his desk. “Listen to me. River Mahariel is the most beautiful, amazing, strong, kind, and--well, heroic person I’ve ever met. If you’ve got any sense, any sense at all, then as long as there’s still a chance that she might return your feelings, you won’t give up. You’ll keep fighting.”

Teagan looked at the man he considered his nephew. He remembered the way Alistair had closed his eyes, when River hugged him at the ball.

Alistair was in love with River.

“You should tell her,” he said softly.

Alistair shook his head and looked away. “I’ve got nothing to offer her.”

Teagan wanted to argue that as king, Alistair had everything to offer, but he understood the other man too well. Alistair would not consider anything short of marriage worthy of River.

For a moment, they sat there in silence, two men in love with the same woman.

“She’s crazy about you,” Alistair said finally. “I can tell. I’m her best friend, after all. And she deserves to be happy.”

Teagan could tell it cost Alistair a lot to say this.

“So. If you go back to Rainesfere now, I’m going to exile you to the Avvars.”

Teagan’s mouth twitched. “Do you spend much time coming up with unpleasant punishments for people?”

“Yes,” answered Alistair without hesitation. “One of the few perks of this Maker-forsaken job.”

Teagan smiled. “Very well,” he said, rising. “I won’t give up. Not as long as there’s a chance.”

“Good.” Alistair pulled some papers toward him in what was obviously an attempt to look officious. “Right. You go take care of that, then.”

Teagan wanted to say something more. Something about how important Alistair really was to him. Something that showed he understood the sacrifice he had made. But there didn’t seem to be any words.

He turned and left the King’s study.

Teagan went straight to River’s quarters. This time he was going to bang on the door until she came out. Failing that, he would sit in the corridor in front of her door and wait for her. One way or another, River was going to talk to him.

None of that proved to be necessary. Just as Teagan approached River’s quarters, she opened the door, on her way out.

Both of them froze.

Maker, but she was beautiful. Teagan didn’t think he would ever get over it.

“Teagan,” River said. “I--I wasn’t expecting you.”

“I know.” He ran a hand through his hair nervously. “My lady, I would have a word with you.”

Her entire body seemed to deflate. “Very well,” she said. “I suppose we should get this over with. Would you like to come in?”

Teagan hesitated. It wasn’t proper, of course, but then, he didn’t want to air their business to any passing servant, either. “Yes, thank you.”

He followed her into the room, and she shut the door behind him.

“River,” Teagan began.

“No, please,” she said. “Let me speak first.”

Teagan fell silent.

River crossed the room and stood before the hearth. A small fire was blazing in the fireplace.

“You don’t need to keep this up,” she said. “I appreciate that you’ve taken pains to be so polite, but you needn’t drag this on.”

He didn’t know what he’d expected, but it wasn’t that.

“My lady, I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

“You’ve been very kind,” she continued, “indulging my...feelings for you, so as not to cause me pain, but I understand. I know the way the world works. You need not concern yourself with my feelings any longer. I will be fine.”

Teagan’s anger flared. “Do you mean to say you think I’ve been faking my affection for you?” He all but growled the words.

River started, and looked up from the flames. “I don’t blame you for it,” she said quickly. “I understand. We are so mismatched. A handsome nobleman and a battle-scarred Dalish warrior? You need someone respectable and genteel. You deserve as much.”

He was practically speechless. “Who put such ideas in your head?”

She hesitated. “Well...I was talking to Isolde, about the night we spent together in the kitchens....I wanted her opinion, you see, about why you didn’t...but even I could see the obviousness of it, once she pointed it out...”

Teagan had heard enough. With two steps, he closed the distance between them, taking her up in his arms and covering her mouth with his.

For a second, she was frozen, and then she melted in his arms. Her lips moved with his, urgently, fervently. Her hands slid upward to his face and she tangled her fingers in his hair.

Teagan couldn’t get enough of her. Her lips were as soft and warm as he’d imagined they would be, only no amount of imagining could have prepared him for this. She kissed with the same passion she showed in battle. Her body, so strong and powerful, was pressed against his. He wanted to touch every inch of her.

His hands found the hem of her tunic, and slipped underneath it. She gasped in pleasure at the touch of his skin on her stomach.

Some distant part of Teagan’s brain protested. Too much, too fast.

River moaned and pressed herself closer. Her kisses were intoxicating. If he didn’t stop soon, he wasn’t going to be able to.

Using every bit of his willpower, Teagan broke away.

River was breathing hard. Her lips were red from kissing, and her eyes were dark with passion.

Teagan’s heart beat hard and fast in his chest. He reached up with one hand and touched her cheek.

When he spoke, his voice was low. “I am not,” he said, “faking it.”