Week 19, Title: Said one word to me and that was 'dead'

[swirlsofblue]

II

Noctem

The knock on the door comes a little after sunset.

Pippa sighs upon seeing who it is. “You shouldn’t be here.”

Jacob nods. “I know. I’m sorry. I had to see you. I missed you.”

“I’m not inviting you in.”

“Then I’ll wait out here.”

Pippa walks away from the open door. “I need a cigarette.”

Comments

[bleodswean]

YES!!! Your dialogue is so strong here and you've done a superb job of telling the story with conversation....and you had me guessing and guessing and guessing how it would end! That's a dastardly clever gift - to be able to keep your readers from not figuring out your story before you reveal it!

Great work!

[swirlsofblue]

Thank you, so glad you liked the dialogue and that it kept you guessing :)

[dmousey]

I love the atmosphere you've created here. And the slanted take on vamps. I almost feel sorry for Jacob. Hugs and peace~~~

[swirlsofblue]

Thank you, glad you liked the atmosphere and take on vamps :)

[i_17bingo]

I'm a sucker for a good vampire tale that's not about violence and gore (don't get me wrong, I love violence and gore, just not always), but rather a story of loss and humanity. I loved this entry.

[swirlsofblue]

Thank you, glad you liked the way I did the vampire tale :)

[rayaso]

Very interesting, with great dialog. It emphasizes the abusive/controlling nature of the vampire/victim relationship. Really well done!

[swirlsofblue]

Thank you, glad you liked the dialogue, that was what I was trying for so glad it worked :).

[devilz_workshop]

Well done. There is so much drama in these dialogues. Glad Pippa could walk away from the strained relation.

[swirlsofblue]

Thank you, glad you liked the dialogue :)