my horoscope

[sweetsalome]

Leo July 23 - August 22

Late summer is a good time for you to step back and take stock of your life. Coincidentally, early fall is a good time to explore dignified methods of suicide.
. . .

Comments

[powered_otaku]

...

[sweetsalome]

You should read yours! Laughs hard.

[powered_otaku]

Where is this?

[sweetsalome]

A newspaper called The Onion

Aries March 21 - April 19

Though you are a vindictive, cruel, and miserable son of a bitch, you will be rewarded with great happiness and good fortune this week. This is just how the universe works.

[terry_crabtree]

Gemini May 21 - June 21
Joy and meaning will return to your life this week when you discover a wondrous and magical substance your dealer calls "Angel Dust."

I normally don’t support horoscope readings, but for ones that recommend suicide and drug use I might make an exception.

[sweetsalome]

Heheehehehe I liked the one about the crying man. But they are actually all really good.

I really don't see how you could go wrong.