oh god what
copypasta from warriorslash gogogo
Fandom: Warriors Orochi
Title: Square, Square, Square, Triangle
Pairing(s): Zhuge Liang/Sima Yi
Rating: PG, I suppose.
Warnings: This is based on the game. So... very bad puns?
Author's Notes: This is for prompt #20 - in case we die. Also, it would be much appreciated if you could give me some feedback about the whole... based-on-the-actual-game thing, as I never see it and I was wondering if there was a reason.
Summary: There was nothing around to help, not a single peach, and the chaos had taken its toll.
“I-Imbecile!” Sima Yi shrieked, almost falling over his feet in his dash to reach the former strategist of Shu.
Moments ago, a particularly blinding flash of green had lit up the battlefield, and Sima Yi knew full well what that meant. There was nothing around to help, not a single peach, and the chaos had taken its toll. Zhuge Liang, his hated rival, was one step away from the gates of hell.
“Don’t you dare die!”
Zhuge Liang looked up, and Sima Yi slowed in his attack to completely acknowledge the fact that the fool had actually looked confused. It was very satisfying.
“I appreciate your concern…” he said quizzically, blasting another soldier with a spell before making a entirely dignified retreat behind a large crate.
“Concern?! Without you, this battle is lost!” Sima Yi screamed, zooming towards an enemy general and quickly taking care of him.
Zhuge Liang smiled softly before breaking the crate open. Nothing. How unfortunate. “I did not know you felt that way about me. However, there are more pressing matters at hand, such a-”
“No, I don’t know where you can get something to eat! Maybe you should have equipped the, the, the Vampire Arms or Meat Bun Sack or something, that would have been useful!”
“I thought you would have noticed that we are now unable to equip items such as those.”
The Sleeping Dragon winced at the heat of the violet rays barely missing his face. “That was unnecessary.”
Sima Yi turned around properly at that remark, and Zhuge Liang was, not for the first time, incredibly grateful that he was on the same side as the unstable strategist. “What’s unnecessary is you rushing off in the middle of the battle to go and grab some stupid item you’re not even going to use anyway!”
“What makes you think that I am not going to use it?”
“Because you’ll be dead!”
Zhuge Liang most certainly did not miss the catch in Sima Yi’s voice. However, liking how his face arranged, he made no comment. At least, not while he was still in the red. There was plenty of time for questions after the battle, anyway.
But as far as Sima Yi could see, there would be no “after the battle”. He could see why his rival had succumbed so quickly, there seemed no way to stem the flow of troops, and the officers were much too heavily armoured and strong for the not-exactly-as-powerful-as-Lu-Bu tactician.
And so, in a desperate rush to save a man he used to hate, he had sacrificed his own health.
No, that wasn’t right. Used to hate?
Sima Yi took a moment of invulnerability (oh, rice wine, one can never have enough) in the purple light to wonder if he had finally snapped. He was quite sure that meant that Xiahou Yuan won the pool. The man was much more insightful than people gave him credit for, although Sima Yi was fairly positive that none of the officers involved had any idea that he knew of their wagers.
Ah, he’d run out of time.
With a final blast, Sima Yi ran as fast as his sore legs would carry him back over to the other strategist. “Don’t you have any tricks left up your sleeve?!”
Zhuge Liang lowered his eyes and lifted his fan. He knew that tone, and Sima Yi knew that gesture.
“I want you to know, I have never had anything even resembling hatred for you.”
Sima Yi did not buy that for one moment. “What was that dress supposed to be, then? A courting gift?!”
“Would it satisfy you to know that was a desperate measure?”
Sima Yi smirked, and that smirk quickly changed into a laugh. “I thought as much. Hah! Trying to taunt me into action?! Unlikely!”
“I thought it would please you. Perhaps I should send you more gifts in the future.” Zhuge Liang said, raising his fan up to cover his smug smile. He couldn’t help himself, sometimes.
Before Sima Yi could protest, though, a horn signalled the approach of the enemy commander.
With a pained groan, Zhuge Liang stood up. “Please remember what I just told you, Zhongda.”
The former strategist of Wei looked up, his golden eyes wide as Zhuge Liang held out a hand. “Let us give it our all.”
He couldn’t explain the pain that shot through him as Sima Yi recoiled, as if his (admittedly filthy) hands were poisonous to the touch.
“You have nothing left to give.” Sima Yi snapped, pushing himself up off the bloodstained ground.
“Once again, you are incorrect.” And once again, Zhuge Liang had formulated the perfect strategy, simple as it was. “I had a good chance of inflicting a high amount of damage, and with some… assistance, I could easily defeat the enemy commander.”
Sima Yi answered that with a laugh. “You? Defeat the commander? I think not!”
“It is not unfeasible, however, I may have overestimated your courage.”
“My courage?! May I remind you that I was the one who risked my life to save a fool who rushed in where even Da Ji would fear to tread?!”
“I do not recall anything of the kind. Perhaps you should stay out of the sun for a while.”
“How dare you insult me!”
“I meant only to imply that you may be dehydrated.” Zhuge Liang stated smoothly, noting the electricity now crackling between them. “Come, you do not wish to be remembered as the coward who hid behind broken crates while the famed Sleeping Dragon sacrificed his life?”
“I will see you in hell.” Sima Yi growled, and stalked off towards the remaining soldiers and their leader, Zhuge Liang close behind.
Everything went as expected, if not according to plan.
“Zhongda, do you remember what I told you?”
“How poor do you think my memory is?!”
“It was a rhetorical question. But I would like to ask you a proper one now.”
“Do what you please. It makes no difference now.”
“Do you still hate me?”
Sima Yi struggled to pull himself around to look at the other strategist. They were both bloody, bruised and Sima Yi was pretty sure that if he blacked out now, he wouldn’t wake up again.
“What?”
Zhuge Liang forced himself up on his knees, and shuffled over like a dog seeking warmth. Sima Yi’s nose was almost certainly broken, probably along with half the bones in his body, and a familiar look of frustration crossed his face. “Please, answer me truthfully.”
Sima Yi flinched. Telling the truth wasn’t something he was particularly practiced in, but he could afford some awkwardness now. After all, he was dying, face to face with a man he’d sworn to defeat in every way possible, who, apparently, held no ill will towards him whatsoever.
“I do.”
Zhuge Liang decided, then and there, that he truly was a fool for expecting another answer.
“But I need you.”
Then again, that would do.
“You need me?”
“I don’t want to go over this! Just because we have to do this stupid battle again doesn’t mean we’re both going to die again!”
“I apologise, I seem to have insulted you. It was not my intention.”
“I just get… emotional when I die, don’t you understand?!”
“I meant it when I said I did not hate you.”
“Go away!”
~
Fandom: Warriors Orochi
Title: Square, Square, Square, Triangle
Pairing(s): Zhuge Liang/Sima Yi
Rating: PG, I suppose.
Warnings: This is based on the game. So... very bad puns?
Author's Notes: This is for prompt #20 - in case we die. Also, it would be much appreciated if you could give me some feedback about the whole... based-on-the-actual-game thing, as I never see it and I was wondering if there was a reason.
Summary: There was nothing around to help, not a single peach, and the chaos had taken its toll.
“I-Imbecile!” Sima Yi shrieked, almost falling over his feet in his dash to reach the former strategist of Shu.
Moments ago, a particularly blinding flash of green had lit up the battlefield, and Sima Yi knew full well what that meant. There was nothing around to help, not a single peach, and the chaos had taken its toll. Zhuge Liang, his hated rival, was one step away from the gates of hell.
“Don’t you dare die!”
Zhuge Liang looked up, and Sima Yi slowed in his attack to completely acknowledge the fact that the fool had actually looked confused. It was very satisfying.
“I appreciate your concern…” he said quizzically, blasting another soldier with a spell before making a entirely dignified retreat behind a large crate.
“Concern?! Without you, this battle is lost!” Sima Yi screamed, zooming towards an enemy general and quickly taking care of him.
Zhuge Liang smiled softly before breaking the crate open. Nothing. How unfortunate. “I did not know you felt that way about me. However, there are more pressing matters at hand, such a-”
“No, I don’t know where you can get something to eat! Maybe you should have equipped the, the, the Vampire Arms or Meat Bun Sack or something, that would have been useful!”
“I thought you would have noticed that we are now unable to equip items such as those.”
The Sleeping Dragon winced at the heat of the violet rays barely missing his face. “That was unnecessary.”
Sima Yi turned around properly at that remark, and Zhuge Liang was, not for the first time, incredibly grateful that he was on the same side as the unstable strategist. “What’s unnecessary is you rushing off in the middle of the battle to go and grab some stupid item you’re not even going to use anyway!”
“What makes you think that I am not going to use it?”
“Because you’ll be dead!”
Zhuge Liang most certainly did not miss the catch in Sima Yi’s voice. However, liking how his face arranged, he made no comment. At least, not while he was still in the red. There was plenty of time for questions after the battle, anyway.
But as far as Sima Yi could see, there would be no “after the battle”. He could see why his rival had succumbed so quickly, there seemed no way to stem the flow of troops, and the officers were much too heavily armoured and strong for the not-exactly-as-powerful-as-Lu-Bu tactician.
And so, in a desperate rush to save a man he used to hate, he had sacrificed his own health.
No, that wasn’t right. Used to hate?
Sima Yi took a moment of invulnerability (oh, rice wine, one can never have enough) in the purple light to wonder if he had finally snapped. He was quite sure that meant that Xiahou Yuan won the pool. The man was much more insightful than people gave him credit for, although Sima Yi was fairly positive that none of the officers involved had any idea that he knew of their wagers.
Ah, he’d run out of time.
With a final blast, Sima Yi ran as fast as his sore legs would carry him back over to the other strategist. “Don’t you have any tricks left up your sleeve?!”
Zhuge Liang lowered his eyes and lifted his fan. He knew that tone, and Sima Yi knew that gesture.
“I want you to know, I have never had anything even resembling hatred for you.”
Sima Yi did not buy that for one moment. “What was that dress supposed to be, then? A courting gift?!”
“Would it satisfy you to know that was a desperate measure?”
Sima Yi smirked, and that smirk quickly changed into a laugh. “I thought as much. Hah! Trying to taunt me into action?! Unlikely!”
“I thought it would please you. Perhaps I should send you more gifts in the future.” Zhuge Liang said, raising his fan up to cover his smug smile. He couldn’t help himself, sometimes.
Before Sima Yi could protest, though, a horn signalled the approach of the enemy commander.
With a pained groan, Zhuge Liang stood up. “Please remember what I just told you, Zhongda.”
The former strategist of Wei looked up, his golden eyes wide as Zhuge Liang held out a hand. “Let us give it our all.”
He couldn’t explain the pain that shot through him as Sima Yi recoiled, as if his (admittedly filthy) hands were poisonous to the touch.
“You have nothing left to give.” Sima Yi snapped, pushing himself up off the bloodstained ground.
“Once again, you are incorrect.” And once again, Zhuge Liang had formulated the perfect strategy, simple as it was. “I had a good chance of inflicting a high amount of damage, and with some… assistance, I could easily defeat the enemy commander.”
Sima Yi answered that with a laugh. “You? Defeat the commander? I think not!”
“It is not unfeasible, however, I may have overestimated your courage.”
“My courage?! May I remind you that I was the one who risked my life to save a fool who rushed in where even Da Ji would fear to tread?!”
“I do not recall anything of the kind. Perhaps you should stay out of the sun for a while.”
“How dare you insult me!”
“I meant only to imply that you may be dehydrated.” Zhuge Liang stated smoothly, noting the electricity now crackling between them. “Come, you do not wish to be remembered as the coward who hid behind broken crates while the famed Sleeping Dragon sacrificed his life?”
“I will see you in hell.” Sima Yi growled, and stalked off towards the remaining soldiers and their leader, Zhuge Liang close behind.
Everything went as expected, if not according to plan.
“Zhongda, do you remember what I told you?”
“How poor do you think my memory is?!”
“It was a rhetorical question. But I would like to ask you a proper one now.”
“Do what you please. It makes no difference now.”
“Do you still hate me?”
Sima Yi struggled to pull himself around to look at the other strategist. They were both bloody, bruised and Sima Yi was pretty sure that if he blacked out now, he wouldn’t wake up again.
“What?”
Zhuge Liang forced himself up on his knees, and shuffled over like a dog seeking warmth. Sima Yi’s nose was almost certainly broken, probably along with half the bones in his body, and a familiar look of frustration crossed his face. “Please, answer me truthfully.”
Sima Yi flinched. Telling the truth wasn’t something he was particularly practiced in, but he could afford some awkwardness now. After all, he was dying, face to face with a man he’d sworn to defeat in every way possible, who, apparently, held no ill will towards him whatsoever.
“I do.”
Zhuge Liang decided, then and there, that he truly was a fool for expecting another answer.
“But I need you.”
Then again, that would do.
“You need me?”
“I don’t want to go over this! Just because we have to do this stupid battle again doesn’t mean we’re both going to die again!”
“I apologise, I seem to have insulted you. It was not my intention.”
“I just get… emotional when I die, don’t you understand?!”
“I meant it when I said I did not hate you.”
“Go away!”
~