Never Runs Smooth - Chapter 4

[quillscribe]

Title: Never Runs Smooth
Series: Takes place in the Firefly Sushi!verse created by terimaru. Here is the list of fics in this 'verse so far.
Rating: PG-13 For Angst
Pairing: Mal/Inara
Word Count: 1,506
Timeline: set between between Mis-Ceptions and Inara's GiftSummary: Fourth installment of my angst contribution to this delightful Sushi-verse. There's a

Comments

[terimaru]

:happy sigh and quiet smile: Gosh, I just loved this part. You are doing such a beautiful job with Avery and the crew. Sorry to hear about that RL thing. It happens to the best of us, but keep sending us snippets when you can. It's all good and we eagerly await each crumb.

[quillscribe]

Thank you so much for everything, terimaru! I am *so* glad you're enjoying it! :-D

[homespunfic]

Guh. Guh guh guh.
This is beautifully done. I was telling terimaru that I've tried to write hero-wake-up scenes before and gave up because what I had was so trite, but you give this such depth and resonance, and it's so true to the characters and the situation, especially them trying to wake him up.

And this:
He should have been strong enough to turn her away, so she wouldn’t have to face things like this. This was how it would end for him. He’d always known it. Shot to hell, or beaten down like he’d been after the battle at Serenity, when he’d been interned with so many others and, as sergeant for the losing side, made to suffer for crimes against the Alliance. In the end, he knew he’d be stepped on, squashed like a bug, which is why he kept out from under foot. Kept flying…
Did already say guh? OK.
And Inara's strong response...her "look at me" and being so strong for him. Lurve it. Lurve it, lurve it.

[quillscribe]

::beams:: Thank you SO much! I did have a hard time with it, because I wanted his drifting stream of consciousness not to feel too random, so I'm glad you liked it!

I love that you liked that paragraph in particular. It's my favorite as well. I feel there's so much more to Mal's past, that only Zoe knows maybe a portion of, but not all, and that it is probably pretty darn dark. I enjoy hinting at it, 'cause Mal's never been one to dwell if he can avoid it. ;-)

I'm one of the subscribers to the 'Shadow was destroyed by the Alliance' theory, and think that, if terimaru holds that theory as well, that I might hint at it, too.

I really liked the idea of Inara seeing him struggle to stay awake, and doing what she could to help him.

Thanks again for the very kind words! I came across your Water's Edge the other day, and *Guh* right back at you!

[terimaru]

According to the Serenity Movie book Mal's homeworld, Shadow, was destroyed by the Alliance.

As far as I'm concerned it's a blackened shell. :-( Which is sad. Nothing left to even visit, or come home to.

[quillscribe]

Ah hah! I got that impression, but never knew for sure! Thanks for confirming it *pets Mal*.

[xxwont_sayaword]

I've been very quietly reading this fic and waiting until I had something worth saying before I posted. I've really enjoyed all of it and I have to say that every time I see a new post from you, I get a little giddy.

This piece in particular was gorgeous. It was very eloquent and subtle, but it captured everyone so well. And Mal waking up was beautiful. Most stories that I come across that have someone in the hospital...it just seems too forced.

Definately seething with envy that I can't write anything remotely medical and not have it sound like I have no idea what I'm talking about, while you can. It's just. Not. Fair.

But, I guess if I ever actually have a need for medical writing, I may pout and whine and bother you until you crumble and write it for me. *cheeky*

I'm anxiously awaiting the next section.

[quillscribe]

*beams happily*

Nods, I know what you mean. Oddly enough, I was put under anesthesia once, and remember vividly what it was like coming to. I use it as a point of reference, so in a way, it's cheating. ;-)

As for the medical, I was an EMT for a while, which helps (but sometimes I have to make sure I don't get *too* specific), but here's a site I'm a member of which also has some terrific information (and you can ask questions there, too): link

I'm happy to help where I can as well, though, so feel free to ask! ;-) I just can't guarantee how helpful I can be.

[ceslas]

It was frustrating how hard it was to bring things in to focus.

I found that line to be so true to the feeling of regaining consciousness and then the pain and the twitches and the vision...just excellent. I could repeat everything said above and will no doubt be said below as well...Really excellent work. Keeps me reading your work with bated breath just in case you decide to rebel and actually do someone in...I can only imagine how painfully beautiful your prose would be for that...
Thanks for setting yet another high bar!

[quillscribe]

::smiles hugely:: Thank *you* for the kind compliments! :-D

[prplhez8]

I sit here and think just how very hard something like this would have been to write and I've got to take off my badger type hat and give you an atta boy, cuz dang. wow. guh. This whole thing was chocked full of goodies and Mal-type thinking. You've got a wonderful knack for crawling inside of his psyche and what's important to him...just ... guh.

Great job!

And this:
“’Nara,” he tried again to say, but Inara shook her head firmly and leaned so that her cheek rested against his, and her lips brushed at his ear.

“I love you. Stop apologizing and get better. If you’re truly sorry, that’s what you’ll do. Dong ma?” she asked him. He smiled at her as the drugs kicked in and he finally started feeling good, like he was buzzing.

“Hen hao,” he agreed, and slipped back into the warm darkness.

makes my fluffy little heart squee!

[quillscribe]

Thank you so much! :-D I'm glad I got his voice right. His combination of grim practicality and humor is addictive to write. *g*