FIC: Hold on Tightly, Let Go Lightly
So! Here's my first proper fic since those drabbles ages ago. The idea formed in my head of Ten and Martha by a lake, and Simone White's 'Beep beep song' (the one from the audi advert) going round in my head until I decided to finally go for it. I don't know what I think of it myself, and I'd like to know what you think of it. Tell me if it's horrible too, but be nice :). This is also full of music ideas in my head as well. I had thought of ending it sad, but I thought I'd go for something more hopeful. Also, unbeta'd.
Title: Hold on tightly, let go lightly
Author: Supasass
Rating: G
Characters: Ten, Martha
Spoilers: Well, it's set post JE but there's no real spoilers.
Summary: Standing there, with him, was like standing on the crest of a wave.
Disclaimer: None of these awesome characters belong to me. They belong to the beeb.
Word Count: 784
Standing there, with him, was like standing on the crest of a wave.
Martha had never been to a place so quiet. No sound apart from the beep-beep of native fireflies nestled in the grass, the moonlight turning it a deep, rich purple. The silence gave her moments to think. It filled her head with transparent thoughts, like how does he live for today? They stood together at the foot of a lake, somewhere far, far away.
The Doctor’s head was thrown back, grinning. “The largest moon cluster in the universe! It’s almost like a mini galaxy in itself, people go there on holidays all the time - the Farroks -“ a delicious roll of the ‘r’ that had her still falling in love with him - “love it there. Another humanoid species - they’ve got purple skin, exactly the same shade of the grass. They have to wear the most ridiculous clothes to stop them bumping into each other. Excellent cooks! They love it because it’s local to them, like going from London to the Lake District. It’s full of craters, wide and gaping, the size of mountain ranges…”
His voice took on that sense of awe. Martha always forgot he could still do that, still enjoy what the universe had to offer him. Only ten minutes ago, she was back home, eating another ready meal in front of some non-descript soap like so many chick lit stereotypes, and she answered the door, saw his face.
She smiled, as if everything would be alright and he didn’t smile back. He just looked. Martha wanted to say he was staring, but that would mean he had some focus on her. He looked lost. It reminded her of a Simpsons episode where Ned’s wife died, and he explained ‘I’m just a Q without a U’, and it was so stupid now, that it kept washing through her mind, the silence, the desperate, beautiful prose of a lost timelord.
“Doctor?” He didn’t glance in her direction, and she thought of Tom in Africa, her mum in London, her place at UNIT, all she had. She wanted to think he wasn’t worth it, because he wasn’t, but it wasn’t one of those days. She looked at the lake, so many moons reflected there, perfectly in alignment, so crucial to each other, orbiting and observing this single planet that gave them that extra definition.
Martha looked at the Doctor, and held his hand in a loose grip. She took in the sight of so many moons reflected in the Doctor’s wide eyes. Even when he smiled, sometimes he looked as if he was holding back tears. How many pieces have been taken from him now, Martha thought. So many people and events orbited the Doctor, and they kept him in his place in the universe, kept them (us, me, thought Martha) anchored, even if we were full of craters, painful memories unprocessed and left forgotten in the jaunt of living…where had her thoughts led her to?
The Doctor looked back at her. “I needed you here tonight.”
Every word felt emphasised. He gripped her hand, as if they were falling. Their hands were clasped together, and Martha held on tightly. The simplest embrace. The silence filled in all the other gaps, and there it was, that wave. They had risen to the top, and they would fall, and rise again because inevitability has its purposes. It makes you realise you need somebody.
She left him first. She asked herself, a long time ago now when her heart was shattered and the Master was burning, ‘can you wait forever if time is all it takes?’ Everything felt so poisoned, so damned, she didn’t dare answer. But now the minutes were fusing everything together.
It was the Doctor who moved first. His hand simply dropped from hers. But there’s a nervous pause, as if the night was nudging him along, because he touched her again. His thumb grazes her knuckles, as gentle as a kiss, before he suggested it was time to go home. Maybe he thought this was a simple conclusion to him, but this felt like the beginning of something new and shining.
“Yeah. If you wait fifteen minutes I can pack a bag and we can go fishing…” she paused at his raised eyebrows, and smirked. “Or, go to a planet with dragons. I’ve always wanted to see a dragon - from afar.”
The Doctor just goes along with it, lets her do this her way, let’s her take the lead, let’s himself need someone.