oh serenity, where art thou?
Fandom: Naruto
Characters: Hatake Kakashi & Haruno Sakura
Prompts: 22. cradle & 009. sensation of loss & table 6/ 06. desperate
Word Count: 835
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Warning: Character death.
Notes: Written for 30_kisses & 500themes & mission_insane. Prompt tables are here & here & here.
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At twenty-seven years old, Sakura was no stranger to the funny concept of loss. The more time she spent pondering over the tragic feel of losing someone, especially someone close to her heart, the more she wanted to laugh, loudly and obnoxiously. Except treating loss obnoxiously would remind her of her boisterous blond brother who was no longer with her, lost to the forests beyond her reach. Being grave and quiet, too, was also not an option, for it reminded her of the always broody, silent member of their small family who had also perished, long ago.
It left her with little options regarding the feeling that was always at the forefronts of her heart and mind, with nowhere to go but to stay delicately balanced in the middle. She’d always tried to emulate Kakashi in this respect, watching as he simply tried to cope and coexist with the damn feeling.
It had worked well as anything else could, and it helped tide Sakura over the next losses in her life, like the canine-loving Kiba and sweet, ever-smiling Hinata. It had worked so well that she’d almost come to accept that she would be able to live on, forever coexisting with the sensation of loss.
Until now.
“You are not allowed to die!” Sakura shrieked with none of the poise and calmness she’d acquired over the years. There was blood, so much blood, everywhere. Even as she continued to scream her prohibitions, the blood continued to flow out of the fatal wound on his chest, pouring out with no inhibition. The green glow of her chakra was almost completely obscured by the thickness of his life’s energy flowing out, faster than her hands could replenish.
There was not even a groan from him in response, and even as she continued to pump everything she had into his body, she could feel its stiffness, its coldness. Through bleary eyes, she watched as his face slowly lost its colour. Though he was gone long before she stopped trying, she allowed her denial to drive her movements for ten more agonizing minutes before she finally removed her hands.
There was drying, caking blood on her arms, and there was fresh, still liquid blood oozing between her fingers. Sakura stared at them for a few minutes, entranced and mesmerized, completely in a daze. It was foremost with disbelief that she studied her bloodied self, disbelief that the man lying battered before her was gone.
It was another ten minutes before she gathered herself enough to look down at him, all blood and no blood at the same time. How she wanted to just put all that blood back into him, to replace all the blood decorating his exterior back into his veins and vessels and into his pale, pale face.
With one shaky hand, Sakura reached out towards his pale and bloodied face, touching his exposed cheeks, tracing over the high cheekbones she’d often admired, and finally stopping to just cradle half his face.
“Oh, Kakashi…” she whispered, so quietly that she wondered if she’d even voiced it aloud. With one swift, violent movement she grabbed his lifeless body and crushed it to her own in a heartbreaking embrace, letting out the sobs and tears she’d locked in for the past ten years.
Holding him, she grieved for every single loved one she’d lost since coming alive, from her parents to Naruto, from Naruto to Anko. Time held no place for her as she sobbed, her tears mixing with the drying blood that covered the forest floor where she sat, cradling his corpse.
When she returned to reality from her stupor, nearly all the blood had already dried, and the sun had already disappeared beneath the looming trees. Through her teary eyes, she saw, for the first time since he’d passed, the serenity that his frozen features seemed to possess, something she’d missed in her grief crazed mindset earlier. She had never seen Kakashi’s face so peaceful, not even during the quiet nights they spent together when they were off duty, and not even after they’d completed an especially difficult mission. The living Kakashi had never been able to get a rest from the stress of this life and simply living, and seeing the contrast, Sakura felt unbelievably guilty.
He’s in a better place, finally in peace, she admitted finally, relinquishing her selfish anger at being left behind in their bitter world. With this in her heart, she twisted her head slightly and placed a chaste kiss on his frozen cheeks, her lips lingering just long enough to etch the moment into the deepest recesses of her memory.
“Wait for me, okay?” she murmured, sure that he was listening, wherever he was now. With this said, Sakura let her eyes flutter shut and leaned backwards against the large tree, Kakashi still in her arms.
For tonight, she would revel in the notion of Kakashi’s peaceful future, and like this, forget about the emptiness that the morning would inevitably bring.
Characters: Hatake Kakashi & Haruno Sakura
Prompts: 22. cradle & 009. sensation of loss & table 6/ 06. desperate
Word Count: 835
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Warning: Character death.
Notes: Written for 30_kisses & 500themes & mission_insane. Prompt tables are here & here & here.
-
At twenty-seven years old, Sakura was no stranger to the funny concept of loss. The more time she spent pondering over the tragic feel of losing someone, especially someone close to her heart, the more she wanted to laugh, loudly and obnoxiously. Except treating loss obnoxiously would remind her of her boisterous blond brother who was no longer with her, lost to the forests beyond her reach. Being grave and quiet, too, was also not an option, for it reminded her of the always broody, silent member of their small family who had also perished, long ago.
It left her with little options regarding the feeling that was always at the forefronts of her heart and mind, with nowhere to go but to stay delicately balanced in the middle. She’d always tried to emulate Kakashi in this respect, watching as he simply tried to cope and coexist with the damn feeling.
It had worked well as anything else could, and it helped tide Sakura over the next losses in her life, like the canine-loving Kiba and sweet, ever-smiling Hinata. It had worked so well that she’d almost come to accept that she would be able to live on, forever coexisting with the sensation of loss.
Until now.
“You are not allowed to die!” Sakura shrieked with none of the poise and calmness she’d acquired over the years. There was blood, so much blood, everywhere. Even as she continued to scream her prohibitions, the blood continued to flow out of the fatal wound on his chest, pouring out with no inhibition. The green glow of her chakra was almost completely obscured by the thickness of his life’s energy flowing out, faster than her hands could replenish.
There was not even a groan from him in response, and even as she continued to pump everything she had into his body, she could feel its stiffness, its coldness. Through bleary eyes, she watched as his face slowly lost its colour. Though he was gone long before she stopped trying, she allowed her denial to drive her movements for ten more agonizing minutes before she finally removed her hands.
There was drying, caking blood on her arms, and there was fresh, still liquid blood oozing between her fingers. Sakura stared at them for a few minutes, entranced and mesmerized, completely in a daze. It was foremost with disbelief that she studied her bloodied self, disbelief that the man lying battered before her was gone.
It was another ten minutes before she gathered herself enough to look down at him, all blood and no blood at the same time. How she wanted to just put all that blood back into him, to replace all the blood decorating his exterior back into his veins and vessels and into his pale, pale face.
With one shaky hand, Sakura reached out towards his pale and bloodied face, touching his exposed cheeks, tracing over the high cheekbones she’d often admired, and finally stopping to just cradle half his face.
“Oh, Kakashi…” she whispered, so quietly that she wondered if she’d even voiced it aloud. With one swift, violent movement she grabbed his lifeless body and crushed it to her own in a heartbreaking embrace, letting out the sobs and tears she’d locked in for the past ten years.
Holding him, she grieved for every single loved one she’d lost since coming alive, from her parents to Naruto, from Naruto to Anko. Time held no place for her as she sobbed, her tears mixing with the drying blood that covered the forest floor where she sat, cradling his corpse.
When she returned to reality from her stupor, nearly all the blood had already dried, and the sun had already disappeared beneath the looming trees. Through her teary eyes, she saw, for the first time since he’d passed, the serenity that his frozen features seemed to possess, something she’d missed in her grief crazed mindset earlier. She had never seen Kakashi’s face so peaceful, not even during the quiet nights they spent together when they were off duty, and not even after they’d completed an especially difficult mission. The living Kakashi had never been able to get a rest from the stress of this life and simply living, and seeing the contrast, Sakura felt unbelievably guilty.
He’s in a better place, finally in peace, she admitted finally, relinquishing her selfish anger at being left behind in their bitter world. With this in her heart, she twisted her head slightly and placed a chaste kiss on his frozen cheeks, her lips lingering just long enough to etch the moment into the deepest recesses of her memory.
“Wait for me, okay?” she murmured, sure that he was listening, wherever he was now. With this said, Sakura let her eyes flutter shut and leaned backwards against the large tree, Kakashi still in her arms.
For tonight, she would revel in the notion of Kakashi’s peaceful future, and like this, forget about the emptiness that the morning would inevitably bring.