Gift fic for TehGiantSquid!

[tarie]

TO: tehgiantsquid
FROM: ANONYMOUS
TITLE: Practice Makes Perfect
PAIRING: Ron/Hermione
RATING: Adult
SUMMARY: Hermione always says 'practice until you get it right'. For once, Ron actually listens.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. JKR & Co. own it all
AUTHOR NOTES: Thank you so much to my beta.

That was it?

Instead of feeling sated and dazed from passion, as the books Lavender used to keep in the drawer of her bedside table said, Hermione felt sore, sticky, and unfulfilled. The books had obviously been fiction, though she had no idea why so many people seemed to make such a big deal about it. If it was that uncomfortable every time, she certainly was in no hurry to repeat the act.

Ron was still breathing hard and lying on top of her without balancing his weight at all. He was too heavy, and she didn't like the feel of him still being inside her when she was sore. She nudged him and shifted, annoyed when he just nuzzled her neck and placed sloppy wet kisses behind her ear. Oh why couldn't it have been like in the books? Clean, neat, satisfying, and perfect. Why did it have to be so messy and weird? Ron hadn't really known what to do, but he'd been so earnest about wanting her to enjoy it when he was poking his fingers into her and licking her chest.

It wasn't his fault he was as new to this as she was. Really, she'd prefer that he be inexperienced, compared to the alternative of knowing he'd been with other girls. She just wished that one of them knew what the bloody hell they were doing. Of course they knew the basics, with him sticking his penis inside her vagina and thrusting until they had orgasms. Unfortunately, he was wide and the place he was to poke wasn't quite ready for him, so it had been somewhat painful at first when he'd just pushed it in and started moving. It hadn't taken five minutes, honestly, before he'd been gasping, shuddering, and she'd felt wetness spill inside her.

Five minutes.

She had waited nineteen years, fought in a bloody long war, and never wanted another man from the time she was fifteen for what? Five minutes of grunting and then spilling? This was the act that had so many girls in school whispering excitedly and acting as if they were superior? She had expected more, which was one of her worst character flaws because it was this way in every aspect of her life, and apparently this was not one of those times where such expectations were suitable or sensible, or probably even reasonable, though it was hard to imagine why everyone made such a fuss if there wasnt' more over which to fuss. It was all confusing and unexplained, which was a bad combination.

The paint on the ceiling was peeling, and Ron needed to go on a diet. She didn't care if he was right fit and more skinny than muscular. It was obvious that he weighed too much, because he was crushing her quite uncomfortably. She wiggled again, cringing when she felt the throbbing between her legs, and nudged his chest with her hand again. Since it was probably rude to hiss at him to get off of her or out of her, she was trying to be more subtle than blunt.

Subtlety never worked with Ron. She wasn't sure why she hadn't learned that, if anything, from the years she'd known him. He didn't take the hint of her shoving on his chest to mean he should get up. No, he seemed to think that was after-sex talk for 'take a nap' because she heard him snoring, and his weight only seemed to increase.

"Oh bloody hell," she muttered, reaching the end of her patience. After a nice meal and snogging on the sofa had surprisingly led to them in Ron's bed doing something she'd spent years dreaming about, she'd certainly not expected to not enjoy it or to be so disappointed in the act itself and in Ron, which just made her feel guilty because she'd not been brave enough to actually tell him that she wasn't really finding it pleasurable when it was happening.

"Get off of me, Ronald," she said, shoving him as hard as she could. When he rolled off her, waking up long enough to say her name in that confused tone that meant he had no idea what was going on, she got out of bed as fast as she could and hurried to his bathroom. She was sore, needed to use the toilet, and desperately wanted to clean up and remove the sweat and fluids from her body. It also didn't help that she was so disappointed over the fact that this act was nothing at all like her dreams had built up.

That wasn't Ron fault, because he'd really tried with the touching and sloppy kisses. He'd even managed to find the special spot that made her toes curl once but hadn't been able to find it again. Him poking his finger around trying to find it had ruined the moment, too, so she supposed it was better to just have this finally over and done with, even if she still couldn't quite understand what the fuss was all about.

After using the toilet, which was also somewhat wince-inducing because she was tender, she found a dry flannel and wet it so she could clean herself up. It was a bit of mess down there, so she stood by the lavatory and wiped herself off, cringing as she moved the damp cloth over more sensitive areas. Once she had finished, she rinsed the cloth but realized that the sweaty stickiness on her back and chest would be more difficult to clean. After a moment of deliberation, she just turned on his shower and waited for the water to warm.

No sooner had she started the water then there was a knock on the door. She glanced up at it just as Ron asked, "Hermione, are you okay?"

"I'm taking a shower. Go back to sleep."

"I don't think that's really how this is supposed to work."

"Everything's all right. Go on."

"Buggering hell, woman, do you think I don't know when you're lying to me?" He groaned and she heard a thunk against the door that was probably his head as he leaned against it. His voice was quiet when he spoke again. "Was it that awful?"

Don't do this, Ron. She didn't like to lie to him, so she didn't, but how was she supposed to admit that it was awkward, painful, and not very enjoyable?

"Oh god. It must have been really bad since you're not saying anything," he said in a slightly panicked voice.

"Ron, really, just go to sleep. It's fine," she said, knowing she was being honest because, really, she loved him and that certainly hadn't changed just because sex wasn't that great. "I'm just sore and sticky, so I need a shower."

"It's fine means you're patting my head and telling me to run along like a good boy," he pointed out. "You say 'it's fine' when I forget your birthday or eat your slice of chocolate cake you'd been saving for after dinner. It means you're annoyed and want to smack me."

"I want to smack you quite often regardless of what I'm saying," she said dryly, thinking this was an excellent case in point. She shivered slightly and tested the water, wishing it would warm enough so she could shower and ignore him.

"I can't do any better if I don't know what was wrong," he murmured. "I thought it was bloody brilliant, with the tits and the nakedness and the, uh, tight wet parts. Was it cause I didn't last longer? Is that it? I went too soon?"

"Language, Ronald," she scolded automatically even as she blushed at hearing him say 'tits' so freely around her. The blush became worse as she finally admitted, "I'm glad it was only a few minutes, in all honesty, though there's a chance it would have improved if it had taken longer."

"You like it when I talk like that around you," he said far too smugly, which caused her to frown at the door. "You make the cutest little squeak and catch your breath when I say how much I love your tits."

"I do not!" she denied, scowling even more as she ignored the shower and focused her ire at the door he was hiding behind.

"Do too!" he taunted. "It's this little 'Oooh' squeaky noise that makes my cock twitch, so I definitely know you make it."

"I'm taking a shower now. You can stand there and continue having delusions about noises I most certainly do not make or you can go back to sleep like you did after we shagged."

"Didn't mean to do that, but it was right exhausting trying to seduce you all night and then finally getting the chance to be with you. Is that why your knickers are in a twist?"

"Trying to seduce me?" she repeated slowly, walking over to the door and opening it to glare at him. "I'll have you know, Ronald Weasley, that I was the one seducing you this evening, so there's no reason for you to have been so tired after just five minutes of grunting and thrusting! And, as you can see, my knickers aren't a concern because I'm not wearing any!"

Before he could say anything else, she slammed the door shut, locked it, and stalked over to the shower. "Stupid miserable git, trying to excuse snoring with such outright lies," she muttered crossly as she stepped beneath the water.

"You know, locks really don't mean anything when I've got a wand," Ron pointed out as he moved the curtain to the side and looked at her. "And there was lots more than grunting and thrusting. You wouldn't let me lick you, so I tried to use my hand until you got frustrated and annoyed and told me to just get on with it. This isn't just my fault, Hermione Granger."

"Ron! I'm in the shower," she said, reaching for the curtain so she could close it.

"I'm not stupid, Hermione, even if you seem to think I am sometimes. I know you're in the shower. At least you can't run away from me in there or shut the door between us," he said, moving his gaze over her before he licked his lips and blinked. "Um, right. About earlier, I'm sorry it wasn't good for you." His cheeks were flushed and the tips of his ears were bright red as he shifted in place, drawing her attention to the fact he was still naked and certain parts of him seemed to like it when they fought or maybe it was just the naked thing.

She started to deny that it wasn't good but sighed instead. "It really was quite unpleasant," she admitted, biting her lip as she stepped back from the spray of the shower. "I'd done research, you see, and read a lot of books, so I thought I knew exactly how it would be, but I didn't have a clue. It was painful and messy and fast and, uh, well, I didn't orgasm."

"Oh buggering fuck, Hermione, why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, forgive me for thinking you might be able to tell!"

"How am I supposed to know? You made those noises and shook a little, so I just figured you had. God, Charlie's gonna kill me. He told me to never shag a girl, especially the girl I love, and not meet her needs before my own."

"I'm certainly not intending to tell him," she hissed, "so I think your life is safe, from Charlie, at least."

Ron looked at her and shifted again before he slowly began to smile, the one that made her forgive him even when he was being a complete prat. "Well, you've always said when we do something wrong, we should keep trying and do it again."

"I meant your Potions assignment, not sex," she said matter-of-factly, feeling a slight tingle on her skin at the look in his eyes.

"Every time you've droned on about 'practice until you get it right'," he imitated in a voice far too shrill and prim to be her own, "I've mostly ignored you but you're right. Practice is good."

"You've just admitted to ignoring me yet you really think I'm going to let you try again?"

"Of course you will."

"Why would I?"

"Because I'm too adorable to resist?"

"Try again."

"Because I want to make you feel good too?"

"I thought you wanted that before, and now look."

"Because you love me and want to get off when I'm not too busy being selfish?"

"Ronald! Don't be so crass."

"I love it when you scold me," he told her with a cheeky grin before he stepped inside the shower, not waiting for her agreement at all, the annoying prat.

"I didn't say you could share my shower," she pointed out, glancing down at him before meeting his eyes. "Seriously, Ron. I'm still sore from earlier, and really just want to get cleaned up so I can sleep."

"You were going to, though. I can tell when you plan to give in and when I better go hide for awhile," he said, reaching up to brush her wet hair back from her face. "I didn't think it would hurt that much. I never want to hurt you, you know? Let me wash you up and then I'll tuck you into bed."

"It wasn't really painful so much as just trying to adjust, which made me sore. You're, uh, rather wide." She rolled her eyes at the grin that crossed his lips. "Men. There's more to life than the size of your equipment, you do realize?"

"Yeah, there's you and these gorgeous tits and making you make that adorable squeaky moan I love just so you'll have to admit that I'm right."

Before she could warn him about his language, he lowered his head and kissed her. Whereas the sex had been a disappointment, kissing Ron was brilliant. It hadn't been the first few times, with bumped noses and too much saliva, but they'd definitely improved over time. She curled her tongue around his and returned the kiss, stepping closer as the spray from the shower rained down on them.

When she pulled back, she smiled slightly. Maybe sex was like the kissing-it would get better over time? She hesitated because she was still quite cross with him, especially for breaking into the bathroom despite her telling him to leave her alone, but another kiss or two helped calm her down. "Okay," she murmured as another kiss ended. "You can wash my back."

"Really?" He grinned and kissed her nose before she turned around to face the shower head. He picked up the bar of soap and began to rub it on her back.

She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, just relaxing as he began to wash her and the warm water eased some of the aches. When she felt his lips on her shoulder blade, she jerked forward in surprise, but his hand was on her belly and kept her in place. He began to kiss her back, along her spine, and finally a rather sloppy one on her bottom. She tensed slightly but calmed down when he moved his way back up her spine.

"Let me do the front now?" he asked softly, kissing her neck as he moved the hand on her belly up and down slowly. "Please?"

It was the please that did it. She nodded, feeling her wet hair around her face as she looked down at the shower floor before she slowly turned around to face him. He gripped her chin and tilted her head back, kissing her deeply as they both blinked away water.

"I love you," he said with a crooked grin as he pulled back.

"Me too," she told him, leaning against the wall of the shower as he began to move the soap over her neck and collarbone. When he reached her breasts, she watched his long fingers curve around them as they became sudsy. She moaned when he lowered his head and blew suds off her nipple before he licked it. He pulled back and made a face, letting the water drip on her breasts and wash away the soap.

"Soap tastes foul, even when it's on you." He smiled sheepishly before licking her breast again. He sucked her nipple into his mouth and moved the soap along her ribs and over her belly.

"Feels good," she murmured, blushing at her words. He looked up at her and smiled before he repeated the action. She heard something clunk, glancing down to see that he'd dropped the soap. She soon felt his hand on her bum as he moved his head lower.

"This okay?" he asked before he kissed the skin above her bellybutton. He trailed a path of kisses lower until he reached the curls between her legs. He didn't go further because she tensed and he looked at her again.

"I don't know," she whispered, shifting against the wall as she looked down at him. "Do you really want to do that?"

"Wouldn't ask if I didn't want to, Hermione. How about this, if it starts feeling weird, I'll stop," he promised. She nodded slowly, not at all sure she could actually enjoy this, because it sounded quite gross, but he was willing to try, so she should be just as willing.

Ron moved his hand from her bum down her leg and back up the inside of her thigh. Her hair hung around her face as she looked down at him, watching as he moved his hand against her. Like before, he began to poke his finger inside her. She grimaced and shifted, feeling to sore for such random poking. "Not like that," she finally said. "To the left and a little higher. Oh god. Right there. That's good, Ron."

He listened and obeyed, moving his finger right against that perfect spot. She gasped when she felt his lips on her clitoris, bucking forward when he licked her. She reached down and ran her fingers through his hair, gripping it tightly as she hesitantly moved her body forward. He was watching her face as he licked and stroked her, paying more attention than he had earlier. It felt a lot better, less awkward though she was still sore, and she was surprised when she heard a breathy moan that she realized she'd made.

Fortunately, he didn't choose that moment to be smug and point out that he'd been right, as she was certain that she'd have hexed him if he'd dared try. Instead, he kept licking and removed his finger, replacing it with his tongue. The change in sensation was unexpected, and she whined softly as she rolled her hips. There was a tightness in her belly that began to build as he kept licking and nuzzling her. She was slouched against the wall and moving against his face, water spraying down on her face and into her mouth as she made noises that she'd never thought were possible.

When her orgasm hit, she was so startled that she arched off the wall and cried out. Ron fell back, taking her with him, and she landed up on top of him on the floor of the shower, bumping her head against the wall behind her as they became a tangle of limbs. She panted and tried to catch her breath, which wasn't easy when she was still shuddering from her orgasm and Ron was lying awkwardly beneath her. Ron shifted and started to laugh, which set her off, too. She shook her head and rested her forehead against his as they laughed.

He smiled smugly and said, "I guess I don't have to ask if it was good for you," before he kissed her soundly.

She swatted at his arm but returned the kiss, tasting herself on his lips and tongue. It was strange but not entirely unpleasant. When he pulled back, she reached up to turn off the shower. She kissed his nose and stood up, reaching for a towel and wrapping it around her. She looked over her shoulder at him and said matter-of-factly, "You can continue practicing later. Right now, I think we could both use a nap."