What The Water Gave Me 2/3

[ibelieveinsam]

Title: What The Water Gave Me
Characters: Sam and Dean
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~3300
Summary: Normally he would have laughed at a situation like this, the idea of Sam drowning in a baby pool but not now, not with Sam cold, blue, and lifeless in front of him.

Comments

[phx69]

Wow - Sam was certainly in major brat mode in this, such a change from how he was behaving in the first chapter. I was angry at his behavior so I can understand why Dean lost it on him but, even so, I was still chilled by the level of animosity - Dean really held nothing back. It makes me wonder why they really did stick together that season. Was it because they care or because Dean just wanted to keep Sam where he can see him? In a way, Dean probably would have felt some relief if Sam had drowned. At least the kid couldn't mess up the world any more than he had. Those poor boys. And now this... can't wait to see how this plays out. And I will admit I almost didn't read this because I hated that season.

[ibelieveinsam]

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Yeah I did have Sam being a bit of a brat in this but he kind of has physical and mental reasons for the way he's acting. I have to admit I struggled on characterization on this because the boys were in a really dark place in their relationship at that time. I did wonder if maybe I overdid it with Dean but I rewatched 5x01 and Dean's ending speech to Sam clued me in that it wasn't really out of line. I'm so thankful you did decide to read. Season 5 was a tough season and season six for that matter too. I hope you like the ending :)

[phx69]

Very true. That is why it makes it so difficult to watch/read. I do not think Dean ever truly realized just what hell Sam went through when Dean died (the guit alone was staggering as Sam could not save Dean and Dean was only in that siutation because he saved Sam). Or just how desperate Sam became. Dean was much better prepared, in staying with Lisa, then Sam was. Particularly since Bobby didn't try to hold on to him when he did leave. Which is why I found that season so hard. Yes Dean was angry but he was also being hypocritical in many regards as far as I was concerned. He really punished Sam that season.

[ibelieveinsam]

Yes, I completely agree with you. Sam really took an emotional beating. When Dean tells Sam he "let him down in ways he couldn't imagine" or "we're not better together," it just kills me. I tried to convey what Sam went through in this story and that he made a mistake but he went through a lot.

[phx69]

Oooh can I offer you a tiny piece of advice? Don't take it the wrong way, but when you are using pronouns in a sentence, don't use them to refer to more then more person in the same sentence or else it gets confusing. There were a couple of sentences where you used 'he' a number of times, sometimes meaning Dean and sometimes meaning Sam, and I was confused by the end and had to reread. Generally, the pronoun refers to the last person mentioned by name :) Don't be afraid to actually use their names more often. Anyways, that was something told to me and I found it helpful so I thought I would pass it along.

[ibelieveinsam]

No problem! I appreciate it. I actually will reread again after and go back to edit. I noticed at one point, I had said Sam three times in the same sentence and I thought that was awkward but then I guess I overdid it on pronouns. It is a bit embarrassing since I'm a teacher but we all have our grammar demons lol.

[glimmerella]

Still reading :)

[ibelieveinsam]

Thank-you! I hope you enjoy the ending :)

[phx69]

Tee hee - but forever in Sammy's defense, I think some of his irritability is from being hurt :) I know people with concussions can sometimes behave out of character and I suspect the same might be when you still aren't feeling that great :P

[ibelieveinsam]

I am forever in Sam's defense too, hence the screen name ;) Sam was acting like a brat because of his emotional state and also because he was sick which brought his feelings to the surface.