My boyfriend, and lots of other very lucky people, are now back in colleges and universities all over, dancing my beloved dance of learning without me. I miss it so much
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I say this as someone who barely knows you, and certainly knows nothing about your boyfriend.... but most of what I've heard you say about him makes him sound like a jackass you'd be better off without. I understand that this could be because your journal is a place to vent, or that it's easier to write about the negative, even when there are lots of positive things going on. But.... are there reasons you like your boyfriend? Because I'd be interested in hearing them, if there are. And if there aren't.... that probably says something.
Well, certainly, you're right in saying I've been doing a lot of complaining about him of late. I almost feel bad about it since he can't defend himself... but, only almost. Especially in concern of this recent development (I mean honestly, I'm rather upset about this avoiding behavior... he's acting like a child), I'm really micro-examining our relationship the past few weeks, and honestly at the moment all I can seem to focus on is the bad stuff. The good stuff is there! Honest! It's just, the bad is smacking me with bunches of little doubts that are adding up to something I can't just ignore
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Hmph. Wouldja look at that? Long enough, isn't it... and how many times did I mention the word "honesty" or "honestly?" That says something to me. I've been struggling to look at this relationship honestly, to tell myself the truth about him, me, and whatever we're doing together. Because I feel a dearth of honesty in some respects. I need to know what's true
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No worries -- journals are a good place to think things through. And I tend to stick myself in an amateur therapist role or something (which isn't really good for me most of the time, and I have *got* to stop doing it).
Just that, like the commenter below, the stuff you're saying about your boyfriend raises red flags for me, at least in the maturity department (sulking and insults are for little boys (and girls). Admitting that you are angry and need some time to cool off, and can we talk about this tomorrow is for grown ups.)
Nothing wrong with being in a relationship you enjoy without any particular long-term plans, or even if you *know* that it won't work long-term. But the point is, you should enjoy it. Not that everyday is sunshine and roses, but it should make you overall happier, not sadder/angrier/more confused. That's all.
Once again, just a perspective from some random girl on the internet who doesn't know you very well, and doesn't know your boyfriend at all -- take with a grain of salt.
Kimi... I say this because I love you so very, very much... A man who handles stress the way your boy does... blaming you when HE can't get things done and generally being a jackass would raise HUGE red flags for me. Quite honestly, I would raise my middle finger in his direction and walk away. But that's just me and what I would do... not saying that's what you need to/should do.
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Just that, like the commenter below, the stuff you're saying about your boyfriend raises red flags for me, at least in the maturity department (sulking and insults are for little boys (and girls). Admitting that you are angry and need some time to cool off, and can we talk about this tomorrow is for grown ups.)
Nothing wrong with being in a relationship you enjoy without any particular long-term plans, or even if you *know* that it won't work long-term. But the point is, you should enjoy it. Not that everyday is sunshine and roses, but it should make you overall happier, not sadder/angrier/more confused. That's all.
Once again, just a perspective from some random girl on the internet who doesn't know you very well, and doesn't know your boyfriend at all -- take with a grain of salt.
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