[He squeezed his hand, not looking at him, eyes closing just as a couple bright red tears escaped down his cheek. When he spoke, his voice was strained and mournful, briefly forgetting reason.]
[He shivered and squirmed for an intense couple moments, like his mind was functioning at a delay. Like it took him a moment to remember that this was Sollux, and he trusted him, and what felt like ages before something like this would have been the most comforting thing in the world.]
[But it wasn't, and that killed him.]
[But he didn't let go. If Sollux made any attempt to push him away, it would me met with Karkat digging his claws into the fabric of his shirt and keeping him close, letting him hug him because it needed to be a thing that was okay.]
[Sollux wouldn't let go either, not just because he wanted this, though he really did, but because he could remember the feeling of not wanting to be touched, and at the same time wanting it more than anything, to know it was okay. That things were normal.]
[And he was glad, in the end, when Sollux didn't push him away. He just stayed huddled up against him, giving in and finally letting himself cry. The sobs shook his shoulders, and for a while he didn't have it in him to speak or reply.]
[And Sollux just let him cry, knowing that it was what he needed, rubbing his back and trying to be as soothing as possible.He couldn't stop another apology from leaving his lips. He couldn't be Feferi, he couldn't make promises he had no way of keeping. He couldn't tell Karkat that everything would work out, that he'd see, but he could be here for him now, he could do this.]
I'm so sorry. Whatever the said, it was wrong KK. You're. You're you, you're perfect. Even now.
[He didn't know exactly what those doubles had told him, but he knew whatever it was it was wrong and a lie. Just as wrong as what they'd done to him. And he knew Karkat needed to hear that, even if he knew it. There was nothing wrong with him, no matter what they'd done, he was himself, he was good.]
[Because he said he'd try to believe the things that Sollux told him, that he'd try to believe in himself. Is Sollux said he was okay, maybe he could be.]
...And then?
Reply
KK. I'm so sorry.
Reply
I want to go home.
Reply
I know.
[And he couldn't stop himself from pulling him into a hug, even though he knew he shouldn't have.]
Reply
[But it wasn't, and that killed him.]
[But he didn't let go. If Sollux made any attempt to push him away, it would me met with Karkat digging his claws into the fabric of his shirt and keeping him close, letting him hug him because it needed to be a thing that was okay.]
[Even if he couldn't make it be.]
Reply
I'm sorry KK, I'm sorry we can't go back there.
Reply
Reply
I'm so sorry. Whatever the said, it was wrong KK. You're. You're you, you're perfect. Even now.
[He didn't know exactly what those doubles had told him, but he knew whatever it was it was wrong and a lie. Just as wrong as what they'd done to him. And he knew Karkat needed to hear that, even if he knew it. There was nothing wrong with him, no matter what they'd done, he was himself, he was good.]
Reply
Okay.
[Because he said he'd try to believe the things that Sollux told him, that he'd try to believe in himself. Is Sollux said he was okay, maybe he could be.]
Reply
Leave a comment