Wow. Everything about this is fresh and new and wonderful. I loved the relocation, the rewritten history, the completeness of the vision with employment and other bands and the circuit.
But most of all, the VOICE. Ryan's voice. I genuinely like your Ryan, even as he fucks up over and over.
Thanks! For a while I wondered if Ryan would end up redeemable, or if I'd pushed him too far off the mark, so I'm glad the voice and assholery in general worked for you. :)
I have to agree with the previous commenter: The narrative voices in this are excellent. Sharp and distinct, and each POV is tight enough that I really felt like I was getting inside the character.
I took a writing class once in which the professor said over and over again that the entire point of fiction is seeing the character's arc. The way the character's situation or understanding change - everything else is just the way we get to that change. I think he would appreciate this story, because the meat, the heart, the point of it is Ryan's character arc. Ryan figuring things out.
This whole story feels very ... solid. Slice-of-life for a life that is nothing like mine. It's impressive, the way you layered in details and emotions to create such a fully fleshed experience.
I admire the way you let the characters screw up without demonizing them, and the way you let them not explain their every emotion and motivation. Also, I totally want to hear Brendon Urie voicing characters on The Venture Brothers, now. :o)
Ha, it's so nice to see another Venture Brothers fan: I went way out on a limb with those cameos. :)
Thanks so much for your comment, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you think this works in a moment-of-truth-school-of-short(ish)-fiction-writing way. I've done enough workshops to know that I really should work harder at building in resonance and metaphor to support the character's ultimate arc, but I think here I sacrificed that to get a better grip on the day-to-day. ANYWAY, RAMBLING. I really appreciate your thoughts, is what I'm saying. Thank you so much.
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But most of all, the VOICE. Ryan's voice. I genuinely like your Ryan, even as he fucks up over and over.
So wonderful. Thank you.
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I took a writing class once in which the professor said over and over again that the entire point of fiction is seeing the character's arc. The way the character's situation or understanding change - everything else is just the way we get to that change. I think he would appreciate this story, because the meat, the heart, the point of it is Ryan's character arc. Ryan figuring things out.
This whole story feels very ... solid. Slice-of-life for a life that is nothing like mine. It's impressive, the way you layered in details and emotions to create such a fully fleshed experience.
I admire the way you let the characters screw up without demonizing them, and the way you let them not explain their every emotion and motivation. Also, I totally want to hear Brendon Urie voicing characters on The Venture Brothers, now. :o)
Thank you for
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Thanks so much for your comment, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you think this works in a moment-of-truth-school-of-short(ish)-fiction-writing way. I've done enough workshops to know that I really should work harder at building in resonance and metaphor to support the character's ultimate arc, but I think here I sacrificed that to get a better grip on the day-to-day. ANYWAY, RAMBLING. I really appreciate your thoughts, is what I'm saying. Thank you so much.
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He's an ignorant little jerk-off. In a good way. Thanks so much for your comment, I'm glad you liked it!
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