COS12 - Part 1: Confess Your Sins

[suborbital]

Title: Chronicles of Skandar
Chapter: 12 - Confess Your Sins and Beg Forgiveness
Pairing: Will/Skandar.
Rating: R
Summary: William confesses his indiscretion to Skandar.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, and they have no bearing on anyone at all.  It's FICTION.
Warnings: Slash.  Sex.  Angst.  Fluff(?).
A/N: A wee bit of a monster here.  So this chapter is split in two.  First time for COS.  Part 1 is 'Confess Your Sins', Part 2 is 'Beg Forgiveness'.  I hope you enjoy.  Obviously COS hiatus is over.  Was only a week or so, so not too bad.  Feedback is love.


COS1 - Unrequited
COS2 - Don't Mess with Me, Girly
COS3 - Broken Angel
COS4 - Coming Clean
COS5 - Stupid, Stupid, Skandar
COS6 - Playing for Real
COS7 - Playing for Keeps
COS8 - Slaying the Dragon
COS9 - Can't Hide Forever
COS10 - Fame is Fleeting, This is Real
COS11 - Absence in Love
A Chronicle of William

The Chronicles of Skandar 12 - Confess Your Sins / Beg Forgiveness

Skandar could not believe his eyes. William had come back to him. At least, that’s the general impression he got from seeing William standing before him with his suitcases. Yet it had been two weeks since they’d spoken. Two weeks of not speaking after six weeks of not seeing each other. Two months in total of nothing but memories for Skandar to hold onto. That was ample time for Skandar to entertain his worst fears and doubts.

Instead of being elated and eager to smother William with affection, Skandar found himself standing back. William was teary eyed and anxious, and Skandar’s dried tears still streaked his face from crying out on the deck beforehand. William took a step forward, yet Skandar made no move to reciprocate.

He wasn’t exactly angry with William for not calling, he was more uncertain of his own standing and their relationship. It had been two months since they’d seen each other. Skandar found he had reverted to being the same self protective Skandar that’d he become when he believed his love was unrequited. He did not want to make the first move. Yet William seemed to wait for Skandar to make some sign that he was welcome. Something Skandar wasn’t really expecting. He expected William to make the first move, but he wasn’t being very forthcoming at the moment. Instead, the two estranged lovers stood back from one another.

Finally William made the first move, though not as Skandar expected. He picked up his suitcases and carried them into their bedroom before setting them down. It was perhaps a statement. A statement that Skandar very much appreciated. It was William’s way of saying ‘I’m home, this is my home’.

As Skandar stood at the doorway, quiet and uncertain of what to do next, William began unpacking his suitcase in their bedroom. He hung his shirts and jackets in the closet next to Skandar’s, before packing away the rest of his clothes in the drawers that the couple had shared before his departure. He pulled out a range of items that he’d brought back from England, including some personal belongings that his mother had packed for him. When he was finally done, he put his empty suitcases aside and took a deep breath.

Skandar had not said a word since William’s return, and there was still an unspoken anxiety between them. William finally exited their bedroom with a small package in his hand. A simple paper bag that looked fairly innocuous. He offered it to Skandar without a word, and Skandar took the bag with a weak smile.

When Skandar opened the bag, he found the contents were a selection of CDs from bands that he loved but were too small and independent to be heard of or bought in New Zealand. A simple gesture, but an appreciated one.

“So …” William said finally, his hand daring to brush Skandar’s arm, “I’m home.”

Still Skandar didn’t speak. He didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t sure how to feel. His insecurities and mild anger at William’s lack of communication over the last two weeks kept him from making any conciliatory statements. At least verbally anyway. He pulled one of the CDs out and put it into his stereo system. Smooth Jazz by Ronny Jordan. He set it to play through every room in the house on a low volume. He soon felt William’s presence behind him, though their bodies did not touch.

“Do you like it, Skan?”

Skandar nodded affirmatively before placing the cover back in the paper bag. He set the bag down and feigned a smile at William before stepping around and away from him. He sat down on the lounge suite and closed his eyes, absorbing the gentle rhythm that echoed through the house.

Skandar soon felt a warm presence sit down beside him. Without asking or seeking permission, William pulled Skandar’s arm around him. He shuffled onto the seat and pulled himself closer into Skandar’s arms.

Skandar let out a sigh as William snuggled into his arms. He breathed in the familiar scent of William’s golden hair. Right now he was grateful that William was a lot more forthcoming with his need for intimacy. If he wasn’t, there would still be a wordless distance between them. Instead, William rested his head on Skandar’s chest and curled next to him like a child.

“I missed you.” William whimpered, gripping Skandar’s shirt in his fingers, “Didn’t you miss me too?”

“Missed you too, yeah.”

“Finally, he speaks.” William said looking up at Skandar, “God, how long were you going to ice me out for?”

“Two weeks.” said Skandar with a blank expression.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call. I can explain.”

“Not now.” sighed Skandar, for the first time his face softened since Will’s arrival, “Some other time. I just … I thought you weren’t coming back.”

“I’m home, Skan.” said William as he sat up and practically glued himself to Skandar’s body in a tight embrace, “I’m home. It’s still my home too, right?”

For the first time since William’s return, Skandar expressed genuine affection. He did this by squeezing William closer to himself and burying his face in William’s hair. Their hands found one another’s and William breathed out an anxious sigh of relief.

Skandar ran his hands along William’s cheek, before he leaned down and kissed him. Their first kiss in two months could not have been any sweeter if they added honey. He pressed his hand to the flesh of Will’s neck as they savored the velvet touch of one another’s lips. It was a gentle kiss, with no hint of lust or passion. It was simply a proclamation that two months would not change the fact that they still loved one another.

“I almost thought you’d broken my heart again, Will.” Skandar said as William smothered his neck in anxious kisses, “I wish you had of called.”

“I’m sorry. I really am.”

After knowing each other for years, they’d become accustomed to reading one another. Skandar couldn’t quite place why he felt so awkward when William returned. At first he believed it was just his own insecurities and that they’d need to slide back into their ‘groove’ together. Yet in his silent observation of William since his return, and then even after they’d started speaking, he couldn’t help sensing something had happened.

There must have been a reason Will didn’t call him for two weeks. There must be a reason William was being so anxious in his touches and kisses at this very moment. More than that, Skandar just knew by looking at William. Since he’d walked through the door there was an anxiety in his eyes. An apology in every word and glance. An apology for something Skandar didn’t even know about.

Yet as much as Skandar sensed something had happened while William was away, he had no interest in dredging it up now. After being apart for two months, the last thing he wanted was to begin a conversation for which he did not know the destination. No, there was safety in silence for now. Safety in leaving whatever doubts or perhaps events had taken place while William was gone, in the past.

“I love you very much.” said Skandar very matter of factly, with little hint of emotion, but a great deal of sincerity, “And I’m very grateful you came back to me. Thank you.”

William’s silent tears and shivering nod of his head was yet another confirmation to Skandar that something had taken place in England. Yet for now he did not care. He was simply grateful that William did indeed seem happy to be here. They were together again. For now, that was the only thing Skandar wanted to deal with.

“You need a shower.” Skandar said with a smile, before kissing William’s tears away, “I’ll make you something to eat. Are you tired?”

“A little lagged. It’ll take me a couple days to get used to the time difference again. You don’t have a play session on tonight?”

“I do actually. So I’ll love and leave you for now. You can shower up and get some rest. Maybe … later we can talk about what happened, huh? Not now. Later.”

Again William was speechless, but the way tears that betrayed guilt quickly sprung into his eyes, and the eager nodding of his head, was more than enough to confirm that something did happen. What exactly, Skandar wasn’t sure. Perhaps William had contemplated staying in England, and to be honest he wouldn’t have minded because he knew Will had his own life to lead and perhaps New Zealand was too far away from that. He hoped that was all there was to it. That perhaps William had just spent the last two weeks deciding whether or not to come back. No matter what happened, Skandar knew that William had come back to him. He had come back to stay. That was more than enough for now.

“I love you, Will.” Skandar said again, as he pulled Will back into a hug and kissed his teary cheeks, “I’m so happy you’re home.”

And once again they kissed, though this time Skandar was unprepared. William simply pounced on him with his tear wet lips tasting like salt. Skandar found himself being pushed back on the lounge suite as William literally molested his lips with desperate kisses. Kisses that were at once gentle and incredibly needy and passionate.

It wasn’t long before William’s hands became increasingly forceful just as his lips became incessantly demanding. Skandar almost felt like he couldn’t breathe under William’s weight and vigorous ministrations.

“Two fucking months!” William yelled, the most forceful he’d been since his return, “Two fucking months without this!”

“Will, stop swearing!” panted Skandar, wriggling out from beneath William’s weight, “Settle down.”

William did not appreciate Skandar’s attempts to break free or to quell his urges. Skandar winced as William clamped his legs around him to stop him from escaping. He was about to curse William before his lips were again ravaged by a kiss that was so tender, and so desperately filled with love and affection, that he could no longer feign anger.

“Two months …” William said again, this time in a whisper, “Gah … I missed you so much, Teacup. Two months without you. Two fucking months without you …”

“Will, stop swearing.” Skandar growled, “It’s not cool. Not coming from your lips.”

“I’m sorry. I just missed you. I really, really missed you.”

“How much?” asked a mischievous Skandar.

He realized very quickly that perhaps he should not have flashed a mischievous smirk that William found so very inviting. William continued to pin him down while administering kisses that often seemed like nips at his pale neck. As much as Skandar appreciated the attention, he didn’t fancy going to the playhouse theater with a hickey on his neck.

He pushed Will off him, which served only to annoy his suddenly rambunctious boyfriend. Obviously the frustration of being apart for so long was playing on them both in different ways. William felt the need for physical intimacy, where Skandar would’ve been just happy to the moment settle in peacefully.

William’s tight lipped anger did nothing but inspire defiance in Skandar. He stared up at William with a look that glared ‘don’t you dare touch me’, for nothing more than he didn’t want to give Will what he desperately wanted. After all, he’d been denied for two months and as far as he was concerned, he’d been denied of William for the last two weeks. If William thought he was going to walk in and get his dragon slain that easy, he had another thing coming.

Skandar knew enough about how these heated moments of passion could quickly turn ugly. They’d been through it in the past and it was he who turned it ugly, not William. He knew if he pushed it, this intense passion that William was showing would be turned to anger. And he had enough sense to realize it was only coming from frustration at being apart for so long.

William’s anger became bitter tears and he surprised Skandar by ripping his shirt off so hard and fast that two buttons flew off and hit him in the face. William then slapped his bare chest so hard it left a red mark. He was about to do it again when Skandar shot his hand up and grabbed Will’s arm.

“That’s enough.” said a concerned Skandar, “That’s enough.”

“You don’t want me?” William asked with anger in his voice, “You don’t like me touching you anymore? You don’t want this? You don’t want me?”

“I want you, Will. I love you. But you’re acting … strange. Is it just because we’ve been apart for so long?”

“I need you, Skan. I need to touch you.” William said as he lay down on top of Skandar, resting his head in the crook of Skandar’s neck, “Please. Love me.”

“Oh, Will.” sighed Skandar, “You know I love you.”

“Love me? Please?”

Skandar immediately understood what William was asking for. William craved the physical intimacy that they’d been denied for so long. Though he didn’t feel inclined to give it right now, he had a hard time denying William when he was clearly in need of something only Skandar could give him.

“You need a shower. Long flights make Will a smelly boy.” Skandar said with a warm smile, “And I need a shower too, because I have a play to direct. Think we should conserve some water together?”

William did not need a second invitation. He followed behind Skandar eagerly as he was led by the hand to the bathroom. In a flash, Skandar ripped his shirt and socks off. He’d barely started on his pants when William was back on him. Full pouty lips met pale freckled skin, causing Skandar to giggle in as manly a fashion as he could possibly muster under the circumstances. Somehow, he managed to turn the shower on and remove the rest of his clothing, all while William fumbled with his own socks and pants.

“You’re supposed to take those off too.” laughed Skandar as William stepped into the large shower with his boxers still on.

“Oh sod it.” cursed William before he shucked his boxers off and threw them out of the shower, “There we go. Now let me lo…”

Skandar suddenly felt rather self conscious as he stood naked in the shower before William. With a shy blush, he covered his manhood and tried to turn away. He felt as though he were on display, and couldn’t possibly compare to the naked Adonis of beauty that claimed to be his boyfriend.

“Please don’t do that.” William said putting his hand on Skandar’s shoulder, “Don’t ever do that.”

Two months had done much to increase Skandar’s insecurities. It seemed as though all the confidence Will had given him when they were together, quickly dissipated without him. However, he turned back toward Will and let his hands fall free. He stood naked and exposed beneath the warm spray of water, with a shy biting of his lip the only expression he could muster. An expression that simply said ‘Well, here I am, this is me’.

“God, you’re beautiful.” gushed William with as much sincerity as he had in him, “So beautiful, Skan.”

Skandar smiled gratefully as butterflies welled up in his stomach. He hated feeling vulnerable or exposed, and he felt that way upon first being naked in front of Will. Now however, he felt his confidence growing

“You know … I’ve never been with anyone else like this. You have. Umm … do … do … do you … do I … compare very well? Umm … do you enjoy being with me like this?”

“You know, I better not leave you alone for so long again.” William said as he pulled Skandar into a naked hug under the shower spray, “I leave for two months and you turn back into Insecure Skandar. You don’t compare, Skan. You really don’t. You absolutely obliterate, that’s what you do.”

“Really?” Skandar said as he pulled his face back so he could look in William’s eyes, “You’re not just saying that?”

“Come on. Stop it. For once just look at me and tell me that you’re the fucking shit.”

“Will, stop swearing. You came back with a foul mouth.”

“Just say it.”

“I’m …” Skandar said with a growing smile, “I’m the fucking shit.”

“Say I’m gorgeous.”

“You’re gorgeous.” smirked Skandar.

“Cheeky little teacup. Say Skandar’s gorgeous.”

“I don’t know about that.” Skandar said biting his lip, before he leaned back against the shower wall and held his hands to William’s neck, “But I’ll say this then. I’m worth your attention.”

“Skan, you’re worth so much more than that.”

With those words, William leaned forward and engulfed Skandar’s lips in his own. He pressed their naked bodies together, eliciting a grunt of passion from Skandar. Their passion was neither perfectly in tune or an act of synchronicity. It was rather awkward and slippery, and a small exercise in getting to know one another again.

“Oh fuck.” Skandar gasped as William wrapped his hand around his aching ‘dragon’, “It’s been a while. I ain’t gonna last long, Will.”

William pushed Skandar against the wall and sucked ferociously on the soft nape of his neck. Skandar moaned and gasped for Will not to mark him, but he was powerless under the steady rhythm of Will’s hand. He stood on his tip toes as Will took him to heights he hadn’t felt for two months. He soon felt Will’s cock pressing hard against his as they ground together under the showerhead.

Skandar fumbled down to grab Will’s love stick, but his hands were slapped away. William had other ideas. Ideas that Skandar quickly figured out when William moved down his body and took him into his mouth. Skandar’s mouth quickly formed an ‘O’ shape as he thrust involuntarily into Will.

“Take me, Skan.” William gasped as he pulled off, “Will you? I need you to. Please?”

“Na uh. Take too long. Too close. Please …” moaned a Skandar whose eyes were clamped shut with ecstasy, “Please, Will. Slay me.”

William smirked at the plea ‘Slay me’. Skandar opened his eyes just long enough to see that Will was going to give him what he wanted. He had the slightest impression that Will really did need him to ‘take him’ for reasons that he didn’t understand. Right now, he didn’t want to understand. Will’s velvet lips were engulfing him again and he moaned so loud he drowned out the still playing Ronny Jordan CD that echoed through the house.

In no time at all, his hands were in Will’s golden locks as he erupted with a ferocity built up by two months of no dragon slaying. He shuddered with the ecstasy of a mind blowing orgasm brought on by the only person he’d ever been intimate with.

“Well, holy shit.” Skandar gasped, before he realized William was gagging and trying not to laugh.

“Holy shit indeed, Teacup.” William laughed, “Trying to drown me or something? I take it you haven’t been choking the dragon while I’ve been gone? He had a lot of fire in him. I’ll be tasting you for weeks.”

“Years, Will. Unless you’re planning on leaving me.”

“Years, Baby. Years indeed.”

Without a word, Skandar turned to face the wall. He assumed the position he’d assumed so many times before for Will. Occasionally Will had done the same for him, but truth be known, he liked his Will on top. Unless of course, William had been particularly bad and then of course, he was on bottom. Tonight however was no time to ‘punish’ Will. Tonight he just wanted Will inside him.

“What are you waiting for?” Skandar panted, still coming down from his orgasmic high, “I’m yours, Will.”

“No.” William sighed with a smile as he wrapped Skandar in a hug from behind and kissed his shoulder, “I just wanted to please you, Baby. Thank you.”

“Thank me?” laughed Skandar, “Come on, Will. Hurry up. Don’t tell me you don’t want it, because I can feel that thing stabbing me in the back.”

“Really, it’s ok.”

Before Skandar could mouth a protest, his lips were covered by Will’s. They made out for what felt like an eternity underneath the shower spray. All the while, William lathered Skandar’s body with soap. Skandar wondered if he’d ever felt so worshipped before. William had brought him to a bone shaking climax, and now made out with him as if he’d die otherwise. The kiss combined with Will’s tentative and dutiful hands lathering his body served to make Skandar feel like one special little teacup.

When they’d finally finished their shower expedition and Skandar changed into clean clothes for his play duties, he gave Will a puzzled expression. Will’s homecoming had been plain weird to say the least. William had gone from needy to forceful to anxious to submissive to tentative. It was all rather confusing.

“Why didn’t you do me?” Skandar asked bluntly, “In the shower. Weren’t you horny too? Isn’t that what you meant when you said ‘love me?’.”

William lay sprawled on their bed, with only a pair of boxers to adorn his body as his fingers splayed across his abdomen. He wanted to see the play, but Skandar insisted he stay home and rest and save the play for a time when he wasn’t so jet lagged or tired. Skandar sat down on the side of the bed, leaning down to kiss Will’s hand as he waited for answer.

“No, it isn’t. I just wanted you to let me be with you. I wanted you to let me touch you. We can do the other stuff later. I’m allowed to tend to you without expecting anything in return, aren’t I?”

“Sometimes.” smiled a Skandar who was clearly gushing at his boyfriend, “But not all the time. I wish I didn’t have to go. Don’t wait up for me, ok?”

“Wake me up if I’m not already. Please?”

“I’ll think about it.” Skandar said as he leaned down and gave William a chaste kiss on the lips, “Love you. And I’m so happy you’re home.”

“I love you too, Baby.”

Skandar was about to leave when he felt Will’s hand on his arm. He turned back to face him, and realized William’s face was incredibly sober and serious.

“What is it, Will?”

“We need to talk … soon.” William sighed, “I have to tell you what happened in England.”

“When I get back. I’m already running late. Or tomorrow morning. I know it’s important. I knew it when I first saw you. But I just want you to know, that whatever it is …” Skandar said taking a deep breath, “Don’t ever be afraid to tell me anything. Even if it’s to tell me you’ve woken up and realized you don’t love me. I’d rather know, than not know. Ok?”

William nodded with a tight lipped smile before Skandar finally stood up and left. He made the long trip to Glen Eden, and once again directed the play to a standing ovation. The entire night he had nervous thoughts of the coming conversation between him and Will. He knew something had happened, but he wasn’t sure what. And though he entertained his worst fears, he didn’t believe any of them because William had come back to him. Whatever happened, even if William had doubts about their relationship, it didn’t matter now. It didn’t matter because they were together again. This time, Skandar wouldn’t let Will go again without making sure the entire world knew that Will was off limits.

After the play had finished, Sarah pulled Skandar aside into the dressing room. She gave him a huge hug and beamed at him with a smile. Skandar simply believed it was because she was happy with the play’s performance this evening. When she spoke however, he realized her smile was for something completely different.

“Skandie got laid.” Sarah grinned, “Will’s back, I know it.”

“Sarah, what the hell?”

“Don’t deny it, you dictator director you. Will’s back, isn’t he? Either that or you’ve turned into a complete asshole and fucked someone else. But since I know that you are not capable of such a disgusting act, I know Will’s back.”

Skandar sighed in resignation, smiling at Sarah’s intuitiveness, “You’re right. Will’s back.”

“When? Why didn’t he come?”

“He just got back tonight. He wanted to come. He’s a bit lagged. I don’t want him to see it when he’s still tired, you know?”

“Good idea. Everything ok with you two? He’s been gone a while.”

“I think it’ll be fine.” Skandar nodded, “And … I haven’t told him, but tomorrow I’m going to tell Andrew about us. I’m going to tell everyone. If I lose my job, I lose my job. I don’t care. I don’t want him to leave me again without everyone knowing that we’re together.”

“Are you serious?”

“I am. I have missed him something terrible. And you know what?” Skandar asked with a look of realization on his own face.

“What, Skan?”

“I like my life. Having my own house. Living with Will. Doing this. This could be my life and I’d be happy with it. I don’t need to live rich. I have enough money saved away to last a very long time. I don’t care if Disney get rid of me.”

“Wow …” Sarah said in disbelief, “That is … so romantic. You’re going to risk it all to make sure that your man knows that he’s the most important thing in your life?”

“I guess.”

“Not just a pretty face, are we?” Sarah said pinching Skandar’s cheeks, “You are just something else, Skandar. The world at your feet and you choose to risk it for love. If the thought of being with you didn’t totally repulse me, I’d so want someone like you for me.”

Skandar burst into laughter at Sarah’s comment. She smiled proudly at him and patted his shoulder. He put his arm around her as he took a deep breath.

“Still love me when I’m not famous?”

“You’re famous?”

“Cow.” smirked Skandar.

“Of course I’ll still love you. You’re not just a pretty face. You’re a stand up guy and that’s enough to keep me on side.”

“That’s the second time you’ve said I have a pretty face. Be careful, I might get a big head.”

“Oh shut up, you’re gorgeous and you know it.” Sarah said kissing Skandar’s cheek, “Love you. Must go. And I’m so proud of you for choosing Will first. It’ll work out, you’ll see. Whatever happens, I’m your girl. See you later, Skan.”

“What? We have a crew meeting.”

“I have a prior engagement.”

“With who? I’m furiously jealous. Who is this buffoon?”

“Actually …” Sarah blushed, “It’s not a date. I just have to work a night shift. You know, bills to pay. And as much as I love this play, it doesn’t pay.”

“Here, just take it.” Skandar said pulling a wad of notes from his wallet, “This play is nothing without you. You deserve it. And you know, everyone gets a cut of the takings next week. It won’t be much, but it’ll help. But just take this. Please.”

“Skandar, I’m going to pretend you didn’t just do that. I might not be rich, but everything I do have, I earned. Thank you for the gesture.” Sarah said with a watery eyed smile, before she kissed Skandar’s cheek again, “I’m ok. I don’t need anything. See you next time, ok?”

“Ok. Love you.” Skandar said with a tight lipped smile that was laced with emotion, “I’m proud of you too.”

“Thanks, Skan. Say hi to ‘Hot Will’ for me.”

Sarah made her exit, leaving a gushing Skandar behind her. He really did love her. She’d become something of a sister type best friend. Someone he knew he could count on and someone he knew he could trust. He often didn’t feel as though he contributed enough to their relationship because he couldn’t remember once being asked by Sarah for anything. Even when he knew he would’ve given her whatever she asked for.

With a contemplative smile, Skandar attended his crew meeting and finished his duties at the theater. Being a workaholic that he was, he wondered how his life would change once he told the world that he and William were together. He knew his career would take a sharp downturn. He wasn’t sure if it would recover, but he wasn’t sure what would be worse; a lost career or a lost love. Being realistic, he knew he couldn’t have both. The world just wasn’t ready for that.

By the time he arrived home, he’d decided in his mind that the very next day he would call Andrew. He’d give Andrew enough time to recast Edmund if necessary, even though he believed it might be too late to recast him. He knew for sure that Disney would drop him like a bad smell once they learned their future superstar was shagging ‘Peter Pevensie’ on a regular basis.

He found William fast asleep, and he found the sight nothing less than relieving. Just seeing Will asleep in their bed and knowing they were together, how could anything be worth giving that up?

He stripped down to his boxers and gently slipped into bed next to William. He kissed Will’s bare shoulder and held him from behind. The smile that crossed Skandar’s lips was nothing less than content and grateful. Two months he had missed this. Two terribly long months. The warmth their bodies seemed to generate was just perfect, as if they were just meant to be like this.

William moved in his sleep, as if to instinctively melt into Skandar’s arms. Skandar leaned forward kissed his boyfriend’s cheek before snuggling closer. His eyes closed and he felt sleep calling him. Even though Will had asked to be woken on his return so they could talk about England, Skandar couldn’t interrupt his sleeping angel. William however, had other ideas.

“Skan …” moaned a half asleep William, “Skandar?”

“Unless you’re expecting someone else to slip into bed with you, yes it is.” Skandar smirked, “Hey.”

“Skan …?”

“It’s me, Baby.”

William moaned with a relieved but still tired sigh. He turned over so he was facing Skandar, his eyes still closed as he melted back into Skandar’s embrace. Even in his half asleep state, his lips sought blindly for Skandar’s. He stole a few light, affirming kisses before burying his head in Skandar’s neck.

“So good to be home.” William moaned, “So good …”

Skandar held onto Will with a smile on his face. He couldn’t get over how right this moment felt. After being apart for so long, he’d come to appreciate just how valuable moments like these were. He knew Will loved him, and as far as he was concerned, everything else was secondary to keeping Will happy and with him.

“I love you so much, Will. Tomorrow, I’m going to prove it.” whispered Skandar into Will’s ear, “You’ll see.”

“Hmm … wha?” William yawned, his eyes still closed and obviously still very much asleep.

“I said I love you.”

“I love you. Mmm … love … Skandar … love …”

“Will? Did you still want to talk? Can we just go to sleep?”

“Please … sleep. Just … h…” William said with a mighty yawn, “Just hold … me …love … you …”

Skandar smiled to himself before he softly kissed William goodnight. He slept that night the most soundly he had since William had left for England. He could vaguely remember his sleep being interrupted by arms that clung to him, and lips that kiss him, even as both slept.

When he opened his eyes the next morning, William was already out of bed. He smiled blissfully as he smelt hot pancakes wafting in from the kitchen. He stretched his arms out and jumped out of bed with a spring in his step. He grabbed himself a clean towel from his wardrobe and threw it over his bare shoulder before he marched out to the kitchen. William was already dressed and working away dutifully at the stove.

The couple greeted each other with a smile before Skandar wrapped his arms around Will from behind and kissed his neck. He let out a content sigh, before Will sent him to have his shower before breakfast. By the time he’d finished, breakfast was already on the table outside on the deck.

Skandar wrapped his towel around his waist and headed straight outside. He greeted William again with a kiss, this time on the lips, before he sat down to enjoy breakfast. Pancakes with lashings of maple syrup, bananas and strawberries. Even though their breakfast and the morning so far had been particularly enjoyable, Skandar couldn’t help but notice the look of anxiety had returned to Will’s face. It was then that Skandar realized they still needed to talk about England. For Skandar, it wasn’t incredibly important. He didn’t want to talk about the past, he wanted to talk about the future. Their future. Their future together.

“Will?”

“Yeah, Skan?”

“I’m going to call Andrew today.” said a serious and determined Skandar, “I’m going to tell him about us. I know he’ll be disappointed, but I have to tell him. I’m gonna tell my family too. I know they’ll be fine. But it’s really just Andrew I’m worried about. It doesn’t matter though. I’m going to tell everyone. Or … we’re going to tell everyone. I’m just saying that I don’t want us to be apart again without being able to tell everyone that we’re together. That we’re taken. That we’ve made a promise to one another, yeah?”

“Really?”

“Yup. I know it sounds really gay and all … but hey, we kinda are, you know?” Skandar laughed, “At least I am when it comes to you. Happy, that is. Which is what it really means. Of course I think the fact I love slaying your dragon makes the other meaning apply too.”

William responded with a hearty laugh that for a time seemed to shake the anxiety from his face. Skandar let his hand cross the table and cover William’s. He squeezed it reassuringly, waiting for William to give him an affirmative. After all, as much as Skandar believed this is what William wanted, he wouldn’t expose them to the world unless they both agreed to it.

“Is that ok, Will?”

William’s face grew somber once more, and his anxiety came back to haunt him. Skandar could feel the unease growing in his boyfriend’s body language. This was emphasized by the sudden pulling away of William’s hand from his own.

“We have to talk now. I can’t go on without telling you.” William said finally, “Before you do anything. Before we carry on, I have to tell you.”

“About England right? I already know.”

“What?”

“You were gonna change your mind. You were thinking about not coming back. But it doesn’t matter! You did come back and we’re meant to be together.” Skandar said with so much excitement in his voice that he found it surprising that William seemed to grow more morbid with every word, “It doesn’t matter what you did in England. It doesn’t matter what doubts you had. You came back. I know you thought about leaving this behind, but you came back.”

“I did think about it. Umm … a lot of people made me think about us and our future. Your future.”

“I know. And I know that’s why you were going to stay in England. But you came back. You’re here. And you love me and I know that. I want you to stay with me.” Skandar said as he took Will’s hand again, “So I wanna tell Andrew. And if they fire me, they fire me. I don’t care. I’m not hiding you away again. Next time we walk out that front door, I’m holding your hand.”

Once again Skandar found William’s lack of enthusiasm puzzling. Instead of being elated, William seemed mortified. His face was a mess of anxiety and pouting lips. His eyes shook as he looked across at Skandar. Skandar had the sinking sensation that perhaps William didn’t want their relationship to become public knowledge after all. either that, or perhaps he still doubted Skandar was serious.

“Want me to prove it?” Skandar said as he took a sip from his coffee cup to try and inspire himself with caffeine, “I’ll prove it right now. Let’s go.”

Skandar stood up, with one hand still glued to his coffee cup and the other extended to William. The coffee cup shook slightly in his nervous hand, but his free hand was surprisingly determined and steady.

Still William seemed to be nothing but upset. With each declaration from Skandar of his sincerity, William seemed to falter until now he was a shivering mess of nerves and fear. And yet just as determined as Skandar felt about confessing their relationship, he could see William seemed just as determined to confess something of his own. And as his eyes focused on a William whose eyes were full of deep blue despair, his heart began to sink with a growing unease. Unease that quickly fell to depths of something beyond words as soon as he heard William speak;

“I cheated on you.”

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