Walking in Circles Before Lying Down, J2, 1/7
"Jarrrred! Wait up!"
The bell rang, signaling the end of the school day. Jared Padalecki already had his books and things all packed up and tucked neatly into his school bag, and bolted for the door as soon as the ringing sound hit his ear drums.
His best friend Jensen Ackles, on the other hand, was in the middle of daydreaming and the bell startled him back to reality. He quickly and chaotically stuffed loose papers and books into his bag, slung it over his shoulder and ran after Jared.
"Slow poke," Jared hollered as Jensen exited the building. Jared was leaning against the huge rock in the center of the yard in front of the building that held the school's insignia engraved in it. Jensen was panting when he finally reached him.
"Just because you have longer legs doesn't mean you have to show off like that every time," Jensen said between breaths.
During puberty, both boys grew in height fairly well, but Jared had grown a few more inches than Jensen. A fact that Jensen envied.
"I know," Jared said with a grin. "But it's fun. Come on, let's go!"
Both boys began their run toward Jared's house. They dropped off their school bags on the front porch and retrieved Jared's bikes from the garage. The ride to the comic book store was a short one, and the bikes took a hard fall against the concrete sidewalk in front of the store. Jensen stopped in his tracks right before the door.
"There it is," he said, almost in a whisper.
Jared looked at the spot in the window Jensen was transfixed upon. And there it sat. On display in all its glory. Superman comic #75: The Death of Superman.
"I can't go in."
Jared looked at Jensen with amazement. "What? Why not?! We've waited for this day for how long? Come on."
He grabbed Jensen's arm and started walking towards the door, dragging Jensen along with him. Silently and under the watchful eye of the old man behind the cash register, the boys took a copy of the comic book from the display and carried it to the counter. Jared took out the crumpled dollar bills that was made up of both of their week's allowances and gave it to the man, receiving a few coins as change. The boys couldn't take their eyes off the book as the man placed it in a plastic bag and handed it to them. A nod was the only gesture of goodbye as the boys exited the store. Not a word was said as they rode back to Jared's house, ran upstairs to his bedroom, and lay side by side on his bed as they read the story silently.
~~~~~
With graduation just around the corner, Jared was a mess. Finals were over, school was done. All that was left was the ceremony. And a little thing called college in a few months.
"Calm down, man." Jensen stood in the doorway of Jared's bedroom, leaning against the frame, his arms crossed. He watched as Jared paced the room, biting his fingernails. "Come to the party tonight. Steve's throwing it, so you know it'll be awesome. A little action on the lake." Jensen did a little dance that shook his hips.
Jared stopped pacing and sat on his bed. He looked down at his feet. "There's something I need to tell you."
Jensen's eyebrows scrunched in confusion for a second. His body pushed away from the door frame, and he walked toward Jared. "What's going on?" Jared looked up at him as he sat down next to him on the bed. Jensen saw the anxiety in his face.
"I guess there's no other way to say it," Jared started. He looked down at his hands and started twisting his fingers together.
"Jared, whatever it is, you can tell me. Come on now, who's your boy?"
Jared smiled a little. "You are." He sighed. Still looking down, he mumbled, "I'm gay."
Jensen barely heard him. "Come again?"
Jared sat up straight and looked at Jensen. "I'm gay," he said, a hint of confidence in his words.
"Is this supposed to shock me?" Jensen asked, somewhat mocking. He smiled when Jared chuckled, letting go of the breath he was holding since those two words first escaped his mouth. "Dude, you forget I've known you pretty much all my life. And I've never really seen you with a girl, let alone give a girl a second look, in your life." He shrugged. "So I had a feeling, but I didn't want to say anything until you did." He put his hand on Jared's back, giving it a pat and a little rub. "You know you're my boy, right?"
"You don't know how relieved I am to hear you say that." Jared's eyes glistened with tears.
"Dude. Just 'cause you're gay doesn't mean you're not a guy. Don't start crying on me. Now, come on, we got a party to get ready for. Things to drink, hotties to meet."
Jared and Jensen arrived at Steve's party together. The music was blasting and people were walking around everywhere. Steve greeted them within minutes with red plastic cups in hand, filled with beer from the kegs that were set up in the kitchen.
It didn't take long before the girls began to flounder around Jensen, one right after another. Jared couldn't help but watch in amazement. As far as he could remember, Jensen never had a real steady girlfriend, but he always seemed to have girls around. He had slept with some, sure, and Jared's heard all about it, much to his dismay. Parties like this were usually where Jensen got all the attention. As soon as one girl walked away, another one would step up to him. He had to admit he was jealous of the girls. He wanted the attention that Jensen gave them. But he didn't dare say anything about it, though. Coming out to Jensen was hard enough; he felt that telling his best friend he had feelings for him was like suicide.
Jared did his best to mingle with everyone, since all of his friends were there. But he usually kept Jensen within eye sight, the jealousy getting the best of him.
As the night began to drown out, the crowd of people began to dwindle. Jared was admittedly more than a little tipsy, as he refilled his plastic cup more times than he could recall. But that didn't matter. He stumbled out on the back patio that overlooked the beach and saw Jensen, Steve and a few other guys sitting in a circle on the wooden floor. Both Steve and Jensen had guitars in their laps, casually playing a tune. As Steve began to sing, Jared walked toward the group, pulled up a chair, and plopped down in it. He made eye contact with Jensen, and gave him a drunken smile.
Jensen joined in with Steve's singing at the chorus of the song. As hard as Jared would try, he still couldn't recognize it in his drunken stupor. His body slunk down in his seat, and he propped his elbow on the chair's arm, nursing his head in his hand. Next thing he knew, he felt someone gently shaking him.
"Jared, wake up." He knew that voice. It was Jensen. Jared mumbled in response, still sleeping. "Jared. Come on, man. Get up."
"What time is it?" Jared was still half asleep, his head felt slushy. It seemed like he had been sitting there only a few minutes.
"Don't worry about it, we're staying here tonight. Come on; let's get you to a bed. Or something more comfortable than this chair at least."
Jared barely moved. Jensen mumbled some curse words to himself. He leaned down and placed an arm under Jared's legs, the other arm under Jared's and around his back. Gripping tight, he stood up, huffing as the weight of Jared's body settled against his chest.
"You have GOT to stop growing, man."
Jared was barely conscious, and instinctively nuzzled his face into Jensen's neck. "Mm, I know. I'll try." Jared's arm tightened around Jensen's neck. "I love you, man."
Jensen chuckled to himself. "I know, Jare. I know."
~~~~~
The hard, rapid knock awoke Jared from his dream. The clock that hung on the wall ticked away the seconds past 9:34 PM. Since when he did become lame enough to fall asleep before ten o'clock on a Friday night?
"Whaaat?" he groaned, sliding his lanky body off the couch that he was resting on. He walked to the door and slowly twisted the door knob. He had to scrub his eyes roughly with his knuckles before fully taking in the figure standing before him.
"Jensen?"
"WHAT'S UP, MAN!" Jensen couldn't hide his excitement. His arms flew into the air.
"Oh, my god." Jared walked forward and wrapped his arms around Jensen's torso. He closed his eyes as he felt Jensen's arms wrap around him. "I haven't seen you in..."
"Four years," Jensen finished. He pulled back from the hug as his hands remained connected with Jared's shoulders. He squeezed one of them gently. "It’s good to see you, man." His arms dropped to his sides.
"What are you standing in the hallway for? Come in, man." Jared moved to the side of the door frame to let Jensen walk past him. He closed the door and sat down on the couch where his body previously occupied. Looking down, he realized his laptop was open with a text document of a report he was working on. He quickly snapped the laptop shut. When he looked up, Jensen was already seated on the chair next to him.
"So. What's been going on?" Jensen looked bored already.
"I should be asking you that question," Jared said. He leaned back in his seat and got comfortable. "Where the hell did you go? You just up and disappeared after graduation."
Jensen sighed. "I know. And I'm sorry. I didn't mean to leave you hanging like that. But I had to get out of that town, you know... so I traveled a little bit. Saw the country. I just..." He paused for a moment. "I needed to find myself, I guess."
"And did you?"
"I think so." Jensen smiled at him. They were both silent for a minute.
"So... how did you find me?" Jared asked, addressing the elephant in the room.
Jensen leaned forward in his seat, resting his elbows on his knees. "Your parents. I knew you'd end up at University of Texas, but I figured you'd be in a dorm."
"I was. Freshman year. The roommates sucked, and I hated it, so I got the apartment a couple summers ago with..." Jared paused, wondering how to phrase it. "...another friend. He moved out last summer. Mom and dad have helped with rent since he left."
Jensen said nothing as his face made a 'that-makes-sense' look. "You're going for a business degree?" Jared gave him a look that asked the silent question, how did you know? "Your parents," he said again, chuckling.
Jared chuckled too. "Yeah, well, people said I was good at bossing people around, I guess."
Jensen smiled, childhood memories coming back to him. He looked down for a minute and sighed. "I missed you."
Jared looked at him, "Me too. Listen, why don't you stay here for a while?" Jared asked. "So you can get back on your feet, find a job... or whatever it is that you plan to do. I've just been using the empty bedroom for storage anyway."
Jensen stood up. "Thanks, man. I appreciate it."
Jared stood up and walked over to him. He lightly patted Jensen's chest. "No problem."
~~~~~
It didn't take long for Jensen to move his stuff into the apartment. Having not lived anywhere except his parents' house since he left, he didn't have a lot of stuff. Most of the furniture came from his old bedroom at his parents'. Putting his laundry away in the closet and dresser, he realized he didn't have a lot of that either. He decided that finding a job was his first priority. Now that he and Jared were roommates, he didn't want to let Jared down.
But there was something else bugging Jensen too. Now that Jensen was back in his home town and around Jared again, old feelings came swarming back to him. He knew he missed Jared the past four years as he traveled, but it wasn't until his return that he didn't know exactly how much. He kept thinking back to their graduation, at what Jared had told him. "I'm gay" kept echoing through his mind. If only Jared knew how badly Jensen wanted to say those same two words to him.
Pizza and beer always sounded like a good idea when Jensen doesn't know what to do. Now that he didn't have to rely on older friends to buy the beer for him (not that he had gotten back in touch with any other friends of high school since he returned), it was more convenient and easier on days when it was a last minute decision. After picking up the booze and pizza, he stopped at a nearby Blockbuster to get a couple games they could play on Jared's PlayStation 2. Jensen was more than happy to see the system sitting in the cabinet at the bottom of the TV stand one day when looking for movies to watch.
When Jensen finally got home, Jared had already returned from his classes and was in his room, doing homework, Jensen figured.
"Stop whatever you're doing, and get your ass out here," Jensen said, loud enough so his voice would carry into the bedroom. He set the beer and pizza down on the coffee table as Jared walked into the living room.
"What's all this?" Jared asked, a smile growing on his face.
"Tonight is for fun. You up for it?" Jensen waved the two video games in front of Jared's face. Jared took them and scanned the side of the cases for the titles.
"All-Star Pro Wrestling and Madden NFL 2001? Seriously?"
"What's the matter? Don't want me to hand you your ass in a basket?" Jensen gave Jared a playful punch in the arm.
Jared grinned a little. "Alright. Let's see what you got, little man."
Jared walked to the TV stand and pulled out the system. Once everything was plugged in and turned on, the boys seated themselves on the floor in front of the TV. Jensen pulled the coffee table up behind them and cracked open a beer for Jared and one for himself, and began to chow on the pizza as Jared set up the game.
Between clothes lines and back breakers, the pizza got devoured and they were both on their third beer. Lots of yelling and smack talk had escaped both their mouths. After a while, they were both enjoying themselves too much to keep a tally of match wins.
"It's a good thing you never went out for the wrestling team in high school," Jared said after one match his character won.
Jensen put his game face on. "Just keep talking, man. You're asking for it." He took a drink of his beer, and peeked at Jared.
"Oh, you want to have a go? Really?"
Jensen thought heard the playful tone in Jared's voice. He grinned. "Let's do this." He got up in one swift movement and pushed the coffee table against the couch. Kicking the game controls and the pizza box towards the TV and out of the way, he motioned for Jared to stand up. "Come on, let's go."
"What are you-you're crazy, you know this?" Jared began to laugh, getting to his feet.
He and Jensen stood three feet apart and faced each other, both crouching and staring. Jensen began to count down from five, but Jared slammed into his torso before he reached two. Both boys hit the floor hard, Jared on top of Jensen.
"Well, that was easy," Jared said, smiling down at him.
"You cheated!"
Jensen pushed upward, rolling Jared off his body. He stood up and quickly jumped down onto Jared, who hadn't moved from his position on his back lying on the floor. As soon as he landed on Jared, Jared's arms wrapped him up as they rolled, Jensen fighting unsuccessfully to get free from the grip. They finally stopped rolling when Jensen was flat on his back, Jared swiftly getting a grip on his wrists and pinning them to the floor next to his head. Jared's body was straddling Jensen's waist.
Jared couldn't help but grin at his friend below him, huffing and puffing as he still tried to get free. "Heh, pinned ya."
"What, we're quoting The Lion King now?" Jensen chuckled and stopped fighting. He kind of liked Jared being on top of him like this, even if it was all in good fun. When Jared shifted his weight rubbed against him, Jensen realized he liked it a little too much. And Jared seemed to notice too, as his face went from a look of laughter and playfulness to a look of surprise.
Jared shot to his feet and reached his hand down to Jensen, who grasped it and pulled himself up.
"I, uh..." Jensen stammered. He didn't know how to say it.
"Are you telling me-"
"Yeah, Jare. I like boys, too." Jensen shrugged. He worried when Jared was silent for a minute.
"Okay," Jared, nodding.
Jensen's jaw dropped. "'Okay'? That's all you have to say?"
"And... I have to pee," Jared said.
Jared gave him a small smile and started to walk toward the bathroom. Jensen couldn't help what he was doing when he grabbed Jared's elbow and pulled him back so they stood face to face. He leaned up on his toes and their lips met for what seemed like a split second. When Jensen pulled away, Jared's hand flew to the back of Jensen's neck and pulled him back in. This time, their lips met and their tongues wrestled. Jared felt Jensen's hands slide up his back underneath his t-shirt.
After a good couple of minutes, Jensen's face pulled away from Jared's. Both were panting slightly, trying to regain their normal breathing patterns. His arms still wrapped around Jared, Jensen stared into Jared's eyes, only an inch away from his own.
"I... I don't know what-" Jensen started, but Jared cut him when he put a finger to Jensen's lips.
"You're just a little excited right now," Jared said, almost in a whisper. "With moving back to town and moving in here and everything." Jensen felt Jared's hands on his wrists behind Jared's back. Jared gripped them tight and pulled them apart, and brought them between their bodies as he took a step back. Jensen looked at him curiously. "Let's not rush into anything, okay?"
Part Two