Death Note Doujinshi

[sub_divided]

I was going to title this post "Remember that Death Note Doujinshi?" before I realized that I haven't posted about it since December. And my flist is kinda bigger now than it was then. So the answer is probably no. Explain? I'd be glad to!

Comments

[svz_insanity]

>.<; I have to get off the computer at this verymoment but it looks wonderful from all my skimming. (Of course, I'm confused because I couldn't read the dialogue...) I'll check back tomorrow and I'll try to have a more constructive response?

It really is wonderful, and the art is gorgeous. *_* *envy* Lovely job.

[sub_divided]

Allll telophase. I just did the ridiculously stilted and unnatural dialogue.

[tarigwaemir]

Oh my gosh, it's beautiful. Your Death Note fic I think is one of the few that actually captures the feel of the series, and it's appropriate that the doujinshi also captures the art style so well. There's so many things I love about the choice of layout and design: so much thought must have gone into this!

I think you're right that Yagami's lines are a bit too long at the end--it doesn't quite fit the crispness of the dialogue that preceded it--but it still works as is.

[telophase]

Thank you! XD I about killed myself with this, but I wanted to do it to practice a lot of things on something that wasn't "real".

[pally_pally]

Firstly, this is very nice. Much love, and pats on the back, should go to telophase for putting in this much effort; drawing/finishing doujinshi is hardI really hate to say this, but I think the way the doujinshi is drawn gives the story that crammed feel. The panels seem to be too close together, and the way that there are no differences in the spaces that indicate the passing seconds (5 seconds is the same length as 30 seconds) doesn't really show that pause that there was in the story. While I was reading your story, I imagined there to be more white space, and very thin, light lines, lots of high contrast. I think that there's too much shading going on, and that the thick lines clutter up the drawings. I really imagined this story to be very dreamy, surreal

[telophase]

Eh, it's subjective. I picked up on the physical confinement thing, rahter than the mental freedom when I read it. :)

As far as the font goes - this is actually going into an anthology that I'm editing and I *hate* anthologies that change font for every story. Shonen Jump I'm looking at you! This was the one font that we knew we could all get hold of and would work on our respective machines.

However, for the PDF version I'll probably be working on later, I have no problem with switching fonts because it won't be part of an anthology. I usually use Rehr, which is slightly thinner.

[pally_pally]

Oh, I had no idea it was going into an anthology, because I completely understand about the font-switching thing.

And I must say it again, it is totally awesome that you've done the drawing for this doujinshi. Especially with all the panel layouts; in my opinion, planning out all the panels without making them repetitive is one of the hardest parts of sequential art. Again, I have much respect for you, you did a fine job illustrating sub_divided's awesome fic. :D

[sub_divided]

Do you really mean it? This one was pretty much a doujinshi from begining to end--sometimes I think I only wrote it because I was tired of debating lines one at a time over email--but I wouldn't mind adapting something already written. (Only because I feel sapped for new ideas right now. Unless you have one?) I really love your art style, it's got exactly the things you accuse telophase of not having.

Hmmm, but the good thing about weighty lines, they really make you feel like you've gotten something for your money. Something about being able to smell all that black ink, XD. I think telophase was trying for Obata's mix of lights and darks, and the only thing I'm not sure of is how much tone she uses. The linestyle is her normal style, though, and I think it works fine. Ahhh, but then I didn't really have an image in mind for the doujinshi. We're thinking of adding timestamps to a few of the images to fix that time compression thing. It's either a dirty fix or a thematic descision, I'm not sure which.

[fiendery]

WHOA.

Let me just say that I ADORE how that last line works. And now to read all the comments you have after the actual doujin. I'll get right back to this comment.

[sub_divided]

Straight from the manga! But I'm glad you think so, because it always seemed anticlimactic to me to end it that way. I love the way that panel is drawn, with the small lettering in a big open space, Light's posture, the angle. Sososocool.

[keraha]

:DDD Yay yay yay. How terribly exciting. :D

[telophase]

(And there's the fact that the clouds change from the first two sky-shots to the shot where Light's sitting on the ground. But that's just me being anal.)

Well, there *is* supposed to be some time passing there, which is why that panel's offset. :)

It's too late for me to think about things right now. I'm just going to whine that it seems nobody so far has noticed what I did with the clouds during the course of the meadow scene. :(

[keraha]

Hmm.. I didn't quite pick up on the passage of time. I just got the sense that Light had been wandering for quite some time and decided at that moment that he was sick of white. And I actually did like those final clouds better. The wispier ones, I mean. The poofy ones look make it seem as though it's a nice meadow day.

You mean how it became overcast? I did notice it, actually. :D I thought it was very subtle and cool, but somehow forgot to mention it. >.<

And I do have to say, this looks amazing. *madglee* Congratulations to you and sub_divided both!

[sub_divided]

YES TELOPHASE PLEASE USE KERAHA'S DIALOGUE IF AT ALL POSSIBLE. That's perfect! ("Not what you were foing for," bah. The lines were written for Aizawa and were supposed to be him stiffly confronting L because he just couldn't stand the moral greyness anymore. They're completely wrong for Yagami. )

I really like her lines, they have punch.