challenge fic!

[bejai_oakwise]

Ok, here's my offering for the Alphabet Soup challenge, my first challenge fic, and my first Arthur/Molly story. Hope I did this posting thing right. Enjoy!

Comments

[antonia_east]

Yep, the posting's great!

This is such a beautiful piece of writing. You made everything so vivid and emotive, this story is like a picture as well - and I'd love to see someone illustrate it.

Having Harry watching by accident was a very clever touch and you wrote it really well. There were several lines (including the one in the summary) which brought a lump to my throat.

[bejai_oakwise]

Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm delighted that the story seemed like a "picture" to you. I'm completely rotten in drawing (and am massively jealous of anyone who can do more than my pathetic stick figures), so I do what I can with words.

Glad you liked Harry observing the moment. I didn't really want one of the kids looking in. The younger ones would have been embarassed, the older ones indulgent. But Arthur and Molly are the only people in Harry's life who can really show him what it is to passionately love the love of one's life, so I thought it was appropriate to see the story from his point of view.

Thanks for taking time to review!

[cecilydolce]

Oh, that was great. That was powerful. I.. am kind of speechless. ::memoriesizes::

kissed the side of her throat. Oh, that is.. wow. That whole paragraph is extremely erotic. Great job.

[bejai_oakwise]

Heh. Thanks ;) I was hoping to throw in a few moments that showed the passion the two of them must feel for one another. Erotic emotion with minimal description was what I was going for, and I was hoping it came across.

Thanks for the kind words!

[giventofly37]

Oh, how lovely. The last line is just...awww. Beautiful job!

[bejai_oakwise]

I've actually had that last line in my head for months, and just needed a way to get it across. When this challenge came up, I suddenly knew exactly where it would fit, much to my delight.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

[katieay]

This was such a pleasure to read! The summary makes me clap like a complete dork... I read that and couldn't help but look forward to reading the rest.

I think your descriptions are brilliant, and as Antonia said while I was reading I couldn't help thinking a lot of it would make a lovely picture.

I love that you gave us Intense Arthur... he's not around much, even with a war going on.

Fantastic job!

[bejai_oakwise]

Glad you liked Intense Arthur. I intentionally wrote him a little different from the usual view we get in the book -- but still in character, I think. I've always thought that he gets a little more serious when the kids aren't around. Molly has her moments where her emotions spill in front of them, but Arthur seems to hold back, like he doesn't want them to see him as anything other than cheerful and mildly clueless. (Case in point -- he's all jolly at the hospital after he gets bitten by the snake, until the kids get shooed into the hall so the adults can talk.) I wanted to explore that idea a little in this story, so I'm delighted you commented on it.

Thanks for the review!

[boxedcrayon125]

Very good fic! Good use of detail, you brought tears to my eyes...aww...

[bejai_oakwise]

Thanks so much! I agonize over the details, so it's good to hear that they worked in the story. I appreciate your kind words!