5 + 1 meme, again~

[stripping]

Comment with a 5 + 1 list and I'll write a little drabble about it! Include the names of the characters, the ship (if applicable), and a general rating to go along with it.

Example: Five times Issei fell in love that never happened, and one time that did.

Characters: Issei, Naesala, Sealand, Sherry

Comments

[xxxing]

Five times Issei hated females, and one time he was glad to have them around!

1/(5+1)

[stripping]

Issei huddled in his bed, left to stew over what had happened until his injuries healed up. Caster... Caster had stabbed his boyfriend and could have killed him...

Why had he let his guard down for her?! Wasn't he the one who always said that women could be devious, could control the minds of men? He hadn't meant that last part so literally, but it just went to prove his point!

He couldn't trust anyone again, if that meant letting his friends come to harm... But he had thought she was his friend.

2/(5+1)

[stripping]

"Ohohohoho!"

At that laugh, Issei's eyes instantly narrowed. "Koizumi Akako. What a pleasant surprise to see you here."

"Issei-kun~ Don't be so rude," she answered, smiling secretively. "Most people would be thrilled to have my company."

Issei started grumbling about a long list of things, ending his short tirade with "You're not even that attractive."

Akako stopped smiling.

Issei gulped. "I should... run."

3/(5+1)

[stripping]

Issei stopped the knife with his chest.

Karen gasped. Ryoko blinked. "Interesting," she said, pulling out the knife. "There was a certain percentage chance of you intercepting the blow, but it was relatively small."

"Stupid... backstabbing... woman..." he ground out, swaying a little. "I won't allow you... to harm her..."

"You really have no choice in the matter, as you're about to pass out from blood loss," she answered cheerfully.

He glared at her, then slowly collapsed.

[deadly_garden]

Five times Sealand was annoyed by his family and one time he loved them.

1/(5+1), these will probably not be in order

[stripping]

2007.

Spain was sorta extended family, in the sense that he was the brother of his brother's boyfriend/husband/whatever. But even with family, Sealand didn't like any of them talking alone with his boss for so long unless they were holding someone prisoner or something.

Eventually Spain emerged from the room, whistling cheerfully.

"Well?" Sealand demanded. "What's going on? Has Sealand finally formed its first alliance?"

Spain laughed. "No, no. This isn't something my boss has to do with." He found a large piece of canvas and sat down to paint.

Sealand leaned over his shoulder. "S... E... A... L... A... N... D... F... O... R... S... A... L... E... Sealand for sale?!"

2/(5+1)

[stripping]

"Hey, jerk England." Without waiting for an answer, Sealand continued. "July 4, every year, you go on a drinking spree until you can't see straight. How come you don't do anything on September 2? Not even a drink, or kicking everyone out of your house, or anything! I'm cooler than America, you should be more upset about losing me!"

3/(5+1)

[stripping]

France was technically family, being his brother's boyfriend.

Nothing more needs to be said about his annoyance. Merely watching him flirt is aggravating, even if you're too young to be a target.

[bluespring]

After the fourth wall broke, five meme threads involving himself that Issei read and found disturbing, and one that he really liked.

1/(5+1) by the way I love you so much, let's get married

[stripping]

"A duck."

Issei stared in horror for a few moments. "A duck." Another few moments of terrified revulsion. "I. Had sex. With a duck."

He buried his head in his hands and whimpered. "Please, someone just kill me..."

2/(5+1)

[stripping]

"W....Wesker?"

Wesker looked over at his computer screen after receiving the voice comment. "Yes?"

"Th-there's a meme thread you might be interested in. And by interested in, I mean horrified by." Issei's voice shook with every word he spoke.

Wesker made a small noise of boredom. "I have already read it."

"Good. Then you realize this means I have to kill you now, in order to erase the shame," Issei replied fiercely.

"You can try."

3/(5+1)

[stripping]

"So, Birkin..." Issei coughed. "Are you finished counting the number of times we've... had sex... on the memes and elsewhere?"

Birkin nodded. "Six."

"Six. Wonderful." Issei rubbed his forehead. "Y-you're a very attractive man and I don't dislike the idea of sleeping with you, but I have some qualms about sleeping with you on memes and not the people I actually am in love with."

"That's pretty much what I feel too." Birkin blushed. "Th...thanks."

[material_guy]

Five times Issei loved one-sidedly and one time he was loved one-sidedly. If that makes any sense.

1/(5+1)

[stripping]

The crowd waited impatiently for their idol to appear. At the very front of the throng, Issei once again silently expressed his thanks that showing up at the beginning of the day had worked.

Eventually, after a sudden puff of smoke, Kaitou Kid revealed himself on top of the platform. The crowd went wild.

"Kid." Issei didn't yell, merely addressed the man standing directly in front of him. In return, he received a nod from Kaitou Kid just before the heist proper began.

That's all. One nod, not even replying to him with words. He was more than the other fans, certainly - he was a friend. But only a friend.

Issei was willing to cross the ends of the earth to receive that nod from him.

2/(5+1)

[stripping]

"Ah, Shirou, good morning." Issei smiled brightly as he caught Shirou on his way to school. "Shall we walk together?"

"Do you even need to ask, Issei?" Shirou fell into step beside him. They chatted about meaningless things, schoolwork and prayers and such.

Issei glanced down at their hands. They were almost touching. If he reached just a little further...

He couldn't. Shirou might not like it, and then where would he be?

3/(5+1)

[stripping]

He's thirty-seven years old. He's nineteen. Thirty-seven minus nineteen is, he can do this in his head, an eighteen year age difference. Birkin's nearly twice his age.

No wonder, then, that his silly little crush went unnoticed. Doctor Birkin had better things to do than pay attention to a teenager's affections. That was without even counting his boyfriend.

And yet, Issei couldn't quell the protective urge within him, that wanted to hold the older man and never let him go.