[ys] And The Crowd Goes [1/5] [2/5]
Disclaimer: I do not own Seo Joo-hyun/ Jung Yong-hwa.
A/N: And this is what they call biting off more you can chew. /sighs/ This plot just would.not.let.me.go. and so here you have about half of another monster, multi-chapter fic I seem to have inevitably started. Think of this as a distraction of sorts, while awaiting the next update of Spirited Away. I promise to update both regularly. In the meanwhile, enjoy. (Oh, please listen to this-- it was the inspiration for this universe, and also you can tell I'm horribly lazy with titles.)
Min-hyuk is the first to start; a hard roll of the drums beating out a steady beat to whoops and cheers from the unseen crowd. Jung-shin joins in a few beats after, walking his fingers up and down a bass line that gets the crowd clapping and Yong-hwa can hear the familiar strums of an electric guitar that is Jong-hyun’s musical signature follow after. Even from where he is standing backstage, he can feel it-the excitement of the crowd, contagious like a virus, seeping through the pores of his skin. It takes everything in him not to jump up and down on the spot, to release the adrenaline that’s running through his veins. Save it for the stage, he coaches himself, shaking out his hands instead to keep them loose for his own guitar playing later.
Yet, even just recalling the memories of performing sends chills up his arms; the hot glare of the spotlights on his face like the eye of the sun, the feel of the guitar under his fingers, but most importantly, the faces in the crowd-girls, boys, heads thrown back, mouths open, arms in the air, dancing, singing, screaming along with them.
A wide grin splits his face, because this-music, performing-this was what Jung Yong-hwa was meant to do.
“Yong-hwa.”
He opens his eyes to the face of Seo Joo-hyun, who cracks a small smile at his obvious state of excitement. She gestures to the entrance of the stage behind them. “You’re up, superstar.”
She always calls him that, he thinks, even as he does his last minute stage checks-shoelaces, hair, extra guitar pick in his pocket and dog tag around his neck. He likes it though. The way she says it makes it all real, like it will come true in the future. He smiles at her, brushing past to take his place on stage, but then he stops, turning back, just a few steps shy of the pool of light that is the main stage.
“How about a kiss for luck?” That’s what he always says to her before a show, half-teasing, half-serious.
Lately though, Yong-hwa finds that its less teasing and more serious, although he doesn’t really want to know what to make of that.
As per normal though, her response is an eye-roll towards heaven, as she points towards the stage with some degree of exasperation. “Just get on out there already.”
He hides any lingering disappointment with an easy smile, giving her a two-fingered salute and then Jung Yong-hwa steps into a wave of sound and light, taking the stage.
----
It is Jung-shin who finds her first, bringing her up at a weekly band meeting. “I found her, hyung. It’s her.”
Jong-hyun lifts an eyebrow. “Your soulmate? This is what, your third one this week? You sure seem to run through them, Jung-shin.”
Jung-shin balls up a sheet of lyrics from the nearby table, throwing it at Jong-hyun, who neatly dodges the missile. Min-hyuk, seated beside Jong-hyun, shakes his head, twirling his drumsticks at he does so.
“I meant our new band manager.” The bassist replies, plopping his lanky self ungracefully into a seat. “Told you I’d be the first to find him. Or well, her. You guys owe me 20,000 won each.”
“That’s what you said about the last one.” Yong-hwa points out, keeping a straight face.
“Yeah, you mean the one who played Beethoven and talked about the dying sanctity of classical music in the modern age?” Jong-hyun takes up the good-natured ribbing again, while Min-hyuk tries to hide a smile.
“This one plays the violin,” Jung-shin admits amiably. He still seems unabashedly confident about this candidate, which sparks Yong-hwa’s interest. “And the piano too. But I walked past her and some of her friends and they were discussing the new London Grammar EP, so I think she’s a promising candidate.”
“Why are all your candidates female anyway?” Min-hyuk wonders aloud.
Jung-shin shrugs. “A lucky coincidence? Too much existing testosterone? Does it matter?”
“Okay, okay.” Yong-hwa waves his hands to signal that this squabble, or discussion is at an end. “I’ll watch out for her. What’s her name?”
“Seo Joo-hyun.” Jung-shin offers the name up like it’s a prize and Yong-hwa makes a mental note of it. “She has World History with me, and Microbes 101. It’s an elective, okay? The Science of Music was full.” He says this last part hastily, mostly aimed at Jong-hyun and Min-hyuk who wear twin expressions of disbelief.
“Give me your schedule and I’ll check her out in the classes.” Yong-hwa says, getting up. “Right now, let’s start practice.”
They, CNBlue, have been looking for a band manager ever since all four of them sat down one night and talked long and hard about their serious chances of making it as professional musicians. Initially, Yong-hwa and Jong-hyun had been the ones sourcing for gigs, getting the word out about CNBlue and their music. They both also quickly discovered that it was an unfeasible arrangement. For one, it was impossible for them to balance both administrative things like booking practice venues and gigs, with the task of actually practicing the sets.
Secondly, both of them were absolutely terrible at any and all kinds of administration, proven when Yong-hwa double-booked the band on a single night, forcing them to rush from one end of Seoul to the other to make their second gig in 15 minutes. Not to mention Jong-hyun’s sending the band to this totally suspect location that looked like it might have been a crack den for practice when their usual studio was fully booked up. (“It was cheap!” Jong-hyun protested when they’d gotten out of there. “You don’t get practice locations for that price in Seoul anymore!”)
It was abundantly clear that they needed a band manager. And fast.
And so the next day, Yong-hwa finds himself becoming something of a stalker to this girl called Seo Joo-hyun, who might just be the person to save CNBlue and keep them on the road to potential stardom and hopefully world domination.
He sits behind her in Jung-shin’s lecturers, watching as she takes down page after page of notes in her neat handwriting. He figures out her schedule, trying surreptitiously to follow her without being noticed, watches as she conducts a student council meeting with perfect ease and precision, watches as she studies at the benches after school with a focus that amazes him. And of course, he sits outside the music room in their university, listening to the strains of the music that filter past the closed door, marveling at what is evidently a deep seated natural talent, made better by years of training.
And when he is sure that she is the one they want, he leaves an envelope addressed to her on the seat she usually takes in the World History lecture. He watches as she opens it to reveal a ticket to a music festival this weekend, where CNBlue will be playing. There is a programme in there too, with their timeslot circled in red. She looks around, as if wondering who would have left her this, but Yong-hwa takes that as his cue to get up and leave the lecture theatre.
His days of being a stalker are hopefully over, but it really all depends if Seo Joo-hyun will take the bait.
He hopes she will. From what he’s seen of her over these two weeks, she is dedicated, driven and serious-things that Yong-hwa typically doesn’t look for in a girl, but then again Yong-hwa isn’t looking for a girl.
He is looking for their band manager, and Seo Joo-hyun, with her musicality and personality, would be a perfect fit for them.
When they get offstage at the music festival having finished their set, he scans the crowd, ordering the boys to split up and look for her. He makes his way through the crowd, excusing himself as he slides past a couple making out, all the while keeping an eye out for Seo Joo-hyun.
Be here, he tells her silently, scanning a sea of moving bodies shadowed in the dark. Please.
And almost as if she has heard him speak it out loud, she steps out from behind a group of particularly tall boys, white purse slung over her denim jacket, looking nothing if not a little bit lost in this crowd. Yet, as Yong-hwa makes his way over to her, Joo-hyun seems to catch sight of him and the look in her eyes as she watches him is what gives way to the swelling ebullience in Yong-hwa’s chest. She came.
He plans to introduce himself formally to her, act as if this is their first time meeting, which in a way it is, but when he stands in front of her, she surprises him by speaking his name first. “Jung Yong-hwa.”
“You know me.” Yong-hwa does not ask this as a question; it is a statement and if he wasn’t before, he is certain now that this is the girl he wants to manage CNBlue.
Seo Joo-hyun shakes her head slightly, but it is not in response to the question; it is a gesture that conveys some measure of amused exasperation. “I didn’t. But I’ve seen you, following me this two weeks and I did a little digging. You’re not exactly stealthy, you know.”
He knows it wasn’t a nice or good thing to do, but desperation over finding a band manager overrides any guilt he has over this. Still, he apologizes. It’s important for them to start off right. “I’m sorry. I didn’t intend any harm. I just wanted to see if you were the one we wanted.”
“The one? We wanted? We?” Seo Joo-hyun’s face loses all traces of amusement now, crinkling in an expression of confusion and her hand comes up to grip the strap of her bag tightly, as if afraid. “What… what?”
It is Yong-hwa’s turn to shake his head now. It’s getting all muddled. He has to start from the beginning.
He holds out his hand.
“I’m Jung Yong-hwa, lead vocalist and guitarist of CNBlue and we’d like you to be our band manager.”
---
Fast forward to the end of today’s gig where Joo-hyun is perched on a nearby amp, coiling cables in her hand. All around her, the boys are packing up, their usual routine at the end of a gig.
“Any takers?” Yong-hwa asks, pausing in where he’s unplugging his guitar.
Joo-hyun’s hands stop for a minute in their coiling. “Just one,” she says lightly, in a way that makes Yong-hwa sure that she isn’t telling the full truth, but the rest of her news makes Yong-hwa forget that. “Mondy’s. They have a Friday night slot and they want you boys to play.”
Jong-hyun exchanges a high-five with Min-hyuk; Mondy’s isn’t a new venue for the band, but it is one of the bars that gets a larger crowd over the weekends and the money is always better for a Friday night. All in all, its not a bad offer even if it is the only offer they’ve gotten tonight. Joo-hyun puts the cables back into their rightful box, passing it to Yong-hwa. “Any others?”
Joo-hyun dusts her hands off, shaking her head. “Just the one.”
“Would have been two if you’d let me accept that girl’s invitation.” Yong-hwa counters quickly.
Joo-hyun’s response is a sharp look thrown his way, equal parts of disbelief and exasperation. “It’s not like she was legitimately going to invite you to do a real paying gig.”
“Hey, hey,” Yong-hwa isn’t really arguing with Joo-hyun at this point-whether that girl had a real gig or not to offer them doesn’t matter that much, to be honest. It is the back-forth that he enjoys with Joo-hyun. “Don’t judge people and their paying abilities just based on what they’re wearing. When did you become so superficial, Seo Joo-hyun?”
Joo-hyun stands from where she’s been attempting to lift the amp, hands on her hips. “Since you employed me to be your band manager, Jung Yong-hwa.” She says evenly, but Yong-hwa knows that there’s no real heat behind her words.
“Plus, if her shorts and crop top weren’t a dead giveaway that she wasn’t going to be able to actually afford your booking fee, the fact that she was probably well on her way to being drunk was a good clue.” She bends down again, heaving with all her strength and she staggers a little under the weight of the amp, heading towards the door.
Yong-hwa assumes that the last of it, until Joo-hyun mumbles under her breath, obviously meant to be too soft for him to hear, but he hears it anyway. “I’m not even sure she wanted the whole band there anyway.”
“What did you say?”
Joo-hyun colors, obviously surprised that he did hear, but she’s not about to back down either as she sets down the amp heavily, just narrowly missing her toes. “I said,” She says loudly now. “That she probably wasn’t even asking for you boys to play.”
“What do you mean now?” Yong-hwa is amused if anything. He knows where Joo-hyun is going with this-frankly, he guessed as much what the intentions of the girl were from the minute she approached him, but again, half the fun is seeing Joo-hyun squirm her way through this.
Joo-hyun’s cheeks are now no longer a delicate pink, but a definite red. “She probably just wanted you, okay?” She uses the right toe of her slip on to rub against the left toe, scuffing it. “Just wanted you to go over alone and…”
“And…?” Oh, this is good.
Joo-hyun’s eyes flame and she stoops down once again to lift the amp, obviously wanting nothing more than to end this conversation. “To… to… to do something indecent, okay? I don’t know.” She snaps, and she ducks her head forward, letting her hair screen her face. Aww, Joo-hyun is embarrassed. “Are we going to stand here all night and talk about your fangirls or are we going to pack up?”
As usual, Yong-hwa gives in. He really shouldn’t rile her up like that, but when you have someone as typically unflappable and under control as Seo Joo-hyun, that becomes one of his favourite things to do.
He steps in, taking the amp from her and giving her the cable box in return. “Let me take that,” He says, shaking his head. “Honestly, I don’t even know why you try to lift our amps. I know you’re our band manager, but a girl like you doing this kind of manual work makes us look bad, so just leave it to us okay?”
Joo-hyun’s only response is an eye-roll, but she takes the cable box with some obvious relief and the pair of them head out. They loiter in the carpark for a while, the boys and Joo-hyun as she doles out the last of her items-tickets to an EP launch of a new band in town for next week, lozenges for Jong-hyun, Min-hyuk’s missing house keys and then the boys are piling into their respective cars and pulling out.
Yong-hwa barely stifles a yawn, heading to his own car, when he spots Joo-hyun heading alone out of the car park. “Yah!” He calls over to her and she turns around. “Where are you going?”
“Home?” Joo-hyun answers after a beat, confusion written on her face even in the dark and Yong-hwa sighs as he walks around to the passenger side, opening the door.
“Get in already, Joo-hyun.” He tells her, shaking his head. “We do this every gig. Aren’t you tired of it already?”
She is coming closer already, clutching her bag, but still, her familiar reply comes, clear as ever in the dark. “I don’t want to impose…”
Yong-hwa is already sliding into the driver’s seat. “Which part of you are our band manager, and I wouldn’t make you go home alone in the late hours of night did you not get when I said this the first few times? Get in already; I’m tired!”
He fusses with the controls of the car, tuning the radio to a good station, but by then Joo-hyun has already tucked herself into his car, and is flashing him a quick smile of gratitude. “Thanks Yong-hwa.”
“When are you going to call me oppa?” He teases half-heartedly, starting up the engine. “We’ve been working together for a year already; I think we’re well past the niceties already. You call Jong-hyun oppa and you have nicknames for the other two kids. What about me?”
“That’s exactly it, Yong-hwa,” Joo-hyun says softly. “We work together.”
---
He doesn’t know when he started liking Joo-hyun.
If he’s being honest, he’s not sure if he can even pinpoint an exact moment where he knew he was irrevocably in love with her. He likes to think it was a process; somewhere in between the kaleidoscope of moments shared on this journey together-Joo-hyun became someone unspeakably important to him. Its in everything she does; staying up late with them when they’re recording in the studio regardless of whether she has class the next day, buying them meals and drinks when they’re running practice, providing thoughts and comments on their performances and practices, getting out there, talking to people, fending off rabid fangirls (and boys sometimes). Being CNBlue’s manager is a full time job and somehow in the madness of it all, Yong-hwa finds himself impossibly in the love with the one person he never expected to fall for-their quiet, resolute and indomitable band manager, who doesn’t seem to return those feelings.
He’s had a few narrow brushes before with her; almost blurting out his feelings in her face when he’d had too much to drink at an after event party, the times she actually voluntarily gets too close for comfort, arranging his hair or brushing off something on his face.
There’s only two things that stop Jung Yong-hwa from making any kind of move, like he usually would.
The first is that Seo Joo-hyun doesn’t seem to have any kind of feeling, of the romantic variety more specifically, for him.
It’s ironic, he thinks, that he knows exactly how to press the buttons of the female members of his audience. Hand on the mic, other hand running through his sweaty bangs, while he maintains eye contact with whichever pretty girl is in the front row. By the end of the song, he can guarantee that she’ll be mouthing the lyrics along with him, staring at him like he’s some kind of god. It’s a patented move. If things get really hot, he can even peel off his top layer (usually a plaid shirt or jacket of sorts), leaving behind only his white shirt underneath, which usually gets quite a fair bit of screaming. Sometimes he even shakes out his sweaty hair over them, which is also a sure-fire success move.
Charm has always come easy to Yong-hwa, which makes him automatically the public face of the band, but he cannot get over the ultimate irony of it all-that the only person he wants his charm to work on is absolutely immune to it. From the beginning of her stint as their band manager, Joo-hyun has always steadfastly treated him as nothing but a friend. Even with his gradually increasing crush, Jung Yong-hwa has had enough experience with girls to know when they are interested and when they are not.
Seo Joo-hyun falls squarely in the latter category. (It kind of breaks his heart to be honest.)
Second, Joo-hyun is actually an amazing band manager. A month after she came aboard, they were all in complete agreement that they’d never been this well taken care of, even though Joo-hyun had made a thousand disclaimers that she had never been a manager before and she might make mistakes. There were no more practice mix-ups like the last time; it was Joo-hyun who had approached the studio directly instead of just making block bookings, and worked out some kind of publicity deal that allowed them to use the studio on a regular basis.
There were of course, no more scheduling mishaps-Joo-hyun was always careful to take note of the boys’ personal schedules, spacing out the performances so that the boys had ample time to practice and rest in between. Not to mention, she also took over things like social media, graphic design for their song covers, even getting her friend, Sunny to help out with photography-things which really helped them to solidify their image, which they had had no time for previously.
In short, Joo-hyun had definitely been the right person for the job. None of them wanted to lose her, most of all Yong-hwa. If his confession sent her running, he knew none of the guys would forgive him. Heck, he wouldn’t forgive himself. For the better of the band, he’d always tell himself. CNBlue is the most important.
They were good reasons, he knew. Good and compelling reasons, which is why he never said anything, contenting himself with the few girls that did drift in (and ultimately out of) his life. And it was working. He was friends with Joo-hyun, good friends and he got to see her on a semi-regular basis. CNBlue was coming together in a way that he never imagined they could grow to. All was good.
Still, some nights, he wondered how much longer he would be forced to hold onto his secret, wondering if one day, this secret would get the better of him.
---
There are days when hiding his secret is just so goddamned hard.
Like when Seo Joo-hyun rushes in a good 30 minutes before the gig is supposed to start, completely missing set up, with a boy in tow nonetheless.
“You’re late.” He says flatly as she comes to a skidding halt before them, unwinding the scarf around her neck as she does so. Normally, he would enjoy seeing her look this flustered (which she usually never is) but right now he’s a bit preoccupied by the fact that Seo Joo-hyun brought a boy to one of their gigs.
The offensive stranger has seated himself at one of the empty high tables, and Yong-hwa watches as he flags down a nearby waitress ostensibly to give his order. Yong-hwa doesn’t know him, but he already hates him on principle. Bastard.
“As our manager,” He says a little bit louder this time. “It’s your duty to show up at the beginning of set up. Not just before we’re about to go onstage. We’re all done already.” Yong-hwa gestures towards the stage, on which all their instruments are neatly plugged in and ready to go.
Surprisingly, Joo-hyun takes no notice of the vitriol in his voice; she must still be trying to calm down after having rushed down. “Well I’m sorry, but I told you I did have an exam today so I was going to be late. I did tell you right?” Here she looks around at the other members, who nod individually and Yong-hwa flinches. Now he just looks like a brat. Damn it, what about group solidarity, guys?
“Who’s that over there, Joo-hyun?” Jung-shin is the first to ask the burning question in the room. Yong-hwa does not like the waggle of eyebrows that the bassist gives when he asks this question. He further dislikes the way in which color jumps to Joo-hyun’s already flushed cheeks as all of them turn to look at the newcomer as a group.
“That’s my… my friend, Kyu-hyun.” Joo-hyun stutters a little in her answer and Yong-hwa feels it now-- pure unadulterated hatred, because Joo-hyun never stutters so who the hell is this guy anyway to her? “We were taking the same exam, and I was running late after so he offered to give me a lift over. When he heard I manage a band, he wanted to stop by and see you guys. He’s really into music too-he’s in an acapella group and…”
“We don’t need his whole life story.” Yong-hwa is fully aware of the fact now that he’s just being really rude about this whole thing, but he can’t seem to stop himself, not even when Joo-hyun’s eyes rest fully on him, bewildered. “Okay? We go on in 20, so stay close guys.” This he addresses to the guys exclusively, before turning on his heel and heading backstage where he can hopefully calm down and get a hold of himself.
Honestly, he tells himself. What does it matter that Joo-hyun has brought a guy to one of their gigs? She’s brought her friends before, Hyo-yeon, Tiffany, Yoon-ah and he was cool with all of them. He can be cool with this friend of hers too.
He tries not to let himself be bothered by the fact that Joo-hyun doesn’t stand backstage with him as is her custom before they go on. In fact, when he peeks through the curtains, he sees her now, sitting with her friend at his high table, talking about something. He pulls the curtain shut sharply.
He’s a pro. He can do this.
The gig starts off pretty well, despite his sour mood. He and the boys have had ample practice for this, and so its just a matter of falling into their familiar groove. Towards the end of the set, Yong-hwa grins over at Jong-hyun, jamming out on his electric guitar in one of their recent crowd pleasers, “Dear Marie” by John Mayer, one of his idols. That’s the thing about music, Yong-hwa thinks, returning his attention to the crowd. It really does have the ability to lift your mood. The song itself is light, which helps lift the mood of the crowd who are mostly nodding along or swaying appreciatively.
Then his eyes fall on Joo-hyun and every bad feeling he’s been having pre-show surges up uncontrollably in him.
She’s talking, whispering to that friend of hers, not even watching them and Yong-hwa’s only human, okay? He can feel the easy smile slide fully off his face, feels the stiffness of his expression and then he hears it before he registers it-a sour chord gone wrong coming from his guitar.
It’s a few moments of pure panic for him; he blanks, frantically trying to remember the next chord-he never puts chord sheets onstage; usually the chords come easy for him. All across the room, he feels the good mood shift, bleeding a little into confusion and distaste, but most of all, he is aware of Jong-hyun’s confused expression from out of the corner of his eye and Joo-hyun’s worried face, staring belatedly straight at him from her table.
But somehow, he forces his fingers to relax, refuses to look at Joo-hyun and her table anymore and he finds the right chord in time again, thank God. All around him, he can feel the room settle back into its lulled, peaceful state and he remembers belatedly to paste on a smile, rigid, but nonetheless a smile.
He never makes these kinds of mistakes anymore. Never. These are rookie mistakes for god’s sake.
So even as they take their last bow, waving at the crowd, Yong-hwa’s mood is decidedly black. The boys know it, staying well out of his way during pack up, which Seo Joo-hyun is conspicuously absent from for the first 10 minutes and it only serves to make him feel worse as he sits on an amp, staring at the wire he’s supposed to be coiling.
There is a sound of a footstep, and he thinks it might be Jong-hyun, come back to try to talk some sense into him, but it is Seo Joo-hyun, face flushed from the cold where she’s obviously been sending off her friend. As she takes the empty stage, there is something like a cat, languorously stretching in his chest, a mean voice in him that thinks simply, Good.
Joo-hyun starts toward him first and in that moment, Yong-hwa really hates Seo Joo-hyun, with that damnable look of worry on her face that’s directed at him because its all a lie; she doesn’t really care, does she? So he speaks first, cutting her off before she can start, “Save it, okay?”
He doesn’t want to get into the whole mess of tonight; he just wants to go home and get some sleep to wash away the events of today, but Joo-hyun is not giving up, a decidedly determined look on her face. “Yong-hwa…”
He barks out a short laugh that is anything but amused. “I said, save it. I know I messed up.” He looks down at the coils of wire in his hands, turning them over. “But really, as our band manager, I expected better of you.”
“What?”
He looks up proper at her then. “Bringing a guy to our gigs, being late for set up…”
“I said I had an exam.” Joo-hyun’s voice is quiet now, but he can hear the underlying steel of her words.
“Not even paying attention to us when we’re performing.” He shakes his head. “I expected better of you, Joo-hyun. I really did.” His hands finish their ministrations and he tosses the cable into the nearby open box, not caring if his handiwork is ruined.
Joo-hyun’s mouth is a perfect “O”, as she goggles at him. “You’ve never objected to me bringing my other friends to your gigs before.”
Yong-hwa lifts his shoulders in what is meant to be an approximation of a shrug. “Yeah, well. I think maybe we should change that. It’s not about mixing business with pleasure, isn’t it?”
He knows he is being an absolute jerk about this, but he can’t really bring himself to bother, scanning the floor for more cables to pack up, but a beat passes, and then two and it is entirely too quiet that he has to look up to make sure that Joo-hyun is actually still standing there.
When he does look up, there is a look on her face, not of anger like he would have expected, but something so kicked in her expression that it makes his heart twist instinctively. And just like that, all his anger melts away, like shadows in the sun, leaving behind only the hollow feeling in his stomach that he is basically an ass and Joo-hyun has done nothing wrong and that he is an ass who doesn’t deserve her.
But just as he opens his mouth to apologize, it all seems to happen in slow-motion.
Joo-hyun bites her lips, takes the last few steps towards him and then before he can breathe or even think, her arms are around his shoulders, wrapping themselves around him to bring him closer so that his head is resting against her belly. It is still quiet, so quiet, that Yong-hwa can hear the thump of his heartbeat in his ears but he can’t even enjoy this, can’t even breathe because suddenly all that stands out clearly in his mind is the terrifying thought: She knows.
But when she speaks, his insides quiver in instinctive relief. “I’m sorry oppa. Its been a tough day for you, hasn’t it?”
She doesn’t know that I’ve been going out of my mind with jealousy. She doesn’t know that I like her.
Frankly he doesn’t know if the thought makes him disappointed, but her words free him up to enjoy this a little more and he lets his head rest against her more heavily, his arms coming up to tighten themselves around her waist. He swallows hard, closing his eyes and biting back the urge to do something dumb like cry.
Her hand drifts up to his hair and her fingers are doing something soothing with it and he just lets himself go with it. All the while Joo-hyun speaks, her voice soft. “I should have known that you were having a bad day oppa. And I’m sorry that I wasn’t around more today; it’s just that I was really excited to show Kyu-hyun your music. He said he really liked it, by the way.”
He tries not to stiffen at the mention of her friend’s name, but honestly Joo-hyun is here now, her arms around him and a hand in his hair and so Yong-hwa figures that he can let that bone go.
“I know you’re upset about making that mistake during the show.” Joo-hyun continues in her slow, even voice. “But honestly, oppa, you’ve come such a long way, you and the boys both. You can’t beat yourself up over one little mistake you’ve made, okay?”
He nods into her stomach, and then she leans back, separating the two of them so that he can look up into her eyes.
With hair swept to the side, hanging loose over one shoulder, silhouetted like this in the last of the dying stage lights, arms cool around his neck, Yong-hwa could swear that Seo Joo-hyun is an angel and he’d be willing to love her for the rest of his life. Her hand skates up his face, pushing aside some of his sweaty bangs, making him shiver slightly and he prays she doesn’t notice.
But it is her words that still his heart. “I’m really proud of you oppa.” Joo-hyun says quietly. “I’ve never been prouder to be your band manager. Just know that, okay?”
In that moment, Jung Yong-hwa can’t decide if he wants to kiss the living daylights out of Seo Joo-hyun or whether he wants to get down on one knee and propose to her right now, but since he can’t do either, he simply settles for nodding and burying his head against her one more time. I’ll take what I can get, he tells himself. I’m not greedy.
A/N: And this is what they call biting off more you can chew. /sighs/ This plot just would.not.let.me.go. and so here you have about half of another monster, multi-chapter fic I seem to have inevitably started. Think of this as a distraction of sorts, while awaiting the next update of Spirited Away. I promise to update both regularly. In the meanwhile, enjoy. (Oh, please listen to this-- it was the inspiration for this universe, and also you can tell I'm horribly lazy with titles.)
Min-hyuk is the first to start; a hard roll of the drums beating out a steady beat to whoops and cheers from the unseen crowd. Jung-shin joins in a few beats after, walking his fingers up and down a bass line that gets the crowd clapping and Yong-hwa can hear the familiar strums of an electric guitar that is Jong-hyun’s musical signature follow after. Even from where he is standing backstage, he can feel it-the excitement of the crowd, contagious like a virus, seeping through the pores of his skin. It takes everything in him not to jump up and down on the spot, to release the adrenaline that’s running through his veins. Save it for the stage, he coaches himself, shaking out his hands instead to keep them loose for his own guitar playing later.
Yet, even just recalling the memories of performing sends chills up his arms; the hot glare of the spotlights on his face like the eye of the sun, the feel of the guitar under his fingers, but most importantly, the faces in the crowd-girls, boys, heads thrown back, mouths open, arms in the air, dancing, singing, screaming along with them.
A wide grin splits his face, because this-music, performing-this was what Jung Yong-hwa was meant to do.
“Yong-hwa.”
He opens his eyes to the face of Seo Joo-hyun, who cracks a small smile at his obvious state of excitement. She gestures to the entrance of the stage behind them. “You’re up, superstar.”
She always calls him that, he thinks, even as he does his last minute stage checks-shoelaces, hair, extra guitar pick in his pocket and dog tag around his neck. He likes it though. The way she says it makes it all real, like it will come true in the future. He smiles at her, brushing past to take his place on stage, but then he stops, turning back, just a few steps shy of the pool of light that is the main stage.
“How about a kiss for luck?” That’s what he always says to her before a show, half-teasing, half-serious.
Lately though, Yong-hwa finds that its less teasing and more serious, although he doesn’t really want to know what to make of that.
As per normal though, her response is an eye-roll towards heaven, as she points towards the stage with some degree of exasperation. “Just get on out there already.”
He hides any lingering disappointment with an easy smile, giving her a two-fingered salute and then Jung Yong-hwa steps into a wave of sound and light, taking the stage.
----
It is Jung-shin who finds her first, bringing her up at a weekly band meeting. “I found her, hyung. It’s her.”
Jong-hyun lifts an eyebrow. “Your soulmate? This is what, your third one this week? You sure seem to run through them, Jung-shin.”
Jung-shin balls up a sheet of lyrics from the nearby table, throwing it at Jong-hyun, who neatly dodges the missile. Min-hyuk, seated beside Jong-hyun, shakes his head, twirling his drumsticks at he does so.
“I meant our new band manager.” The bassist replies, plopping his lanky self ungracefully into a seat. “Told you I’d be the first to find him. Or well, her. You guys owe me 20,000 won each.”
“That’s what you said about the last one.” Yong-hwa points out, keeping a straight face.
“Yeah, you mean the one who played Beethoven and talked about the dying sanctity of classical music in the modern age?” Jong-hyun takes up the good-natured ribbing again, while Min-hyuk tries to hide a smile.
“This one plays the violin,” Jung-shin admits amiably. He still seems unabashedly confident about this candidate, which sparks Yong-hwa’s interest. “And the piano too. But I walked past her and some of her friends and they were discussing the new London Grammar EP, so I think she’s a promising candidate.”
“Why are all your candidates female anyway?” Min-hyuk wonders aloud.
Jung-shin shrugs. “A lucky coincidence? Too much existing testosterone? Does it matter?”
“Okay, okay.” Yong-hwa waves his hands to signal that this squabble, or discussion is at an end. “I’ll watch out for her. What’s her name?”
“Seo Joo-hyun.” Jung-shin offers the name up like it’s a prize and Yong-hwa makes a mental note of it. “She has World History with me, and Microbes 101. It’s an elective, okay? The Science of Music was full.” He says this last part hastily, mostly aimed at Jong-hyun and Min-hyuk who wear twin expressions of disbelief.
“Give me your schedule and I’ll check her out in the classes.” Yong-hwa says, getting up. “Right now, let’s start practice.”
They, CNBlue, have been looking for a band manager ever since all four of them sat down one night and talked long and hard about their serious chances of making it as professional musicians. Initially, Yong-hwa and Jong-hyun had been the ones sourcing for gigs, getting the word out about CNBlue and their music. They both also quickly discovered that it was an unfeasible arrangement. For one, it was impossible for them to balance both administrative things like booking practice venues and gigs, with the task of actually practicing the sets.
Secondly, both of them were absolutely terrible at any and all kinds of administration, proven when Yong-hwa double-booked the band on a single night, forcing them to rush from one end of Seoul to the other to make their second gig in 15 minutes. Not to mention Jong-hyun’s sending the band to this totally suspect location that looked like it might have been a crack den for practice when their usual studio was fully booked up. (“It was cheap!” Jong-hyun protested when they’d gotten out of there. “You don’t get practice locations for that price in Seoul anymore!”)
It was abundantly clear that they needed a band manager. And fast.
And so the next day, Yong-hwa finds himself becoming something of a stalker to this girl called Seo Joo-hyun, who might just be the person to save CNBlue and keep them on the road to potential stardom and hopefully world domination.
He sits behind her in Jung-shin’s lecturers, watching as she takes down page after page of notes in her neat handwriting. He figures out her schedule, trying surreptitiously to follow her without being noticed, watches as she conducts a student council meeting with perfect ease and precision, watches as she studies at the benches after school with a focus that amazes him. And of course, he sits outside the music room in their university, listening to the strains of the music that filter past the closed door, marveling at what is evidently a deep seated natural talent, made better by years of training.
And when he is sure that she is the one they want, he leaves an envelope addressed to her on the seat she usually takes in the World History lecture. He watches as she opens it to reveal a ticket to a music festival this weekend, where CNBlue will be playing. There is a programme in there too, with their timeslot circled in red. She looks around, as if wondering who would have left her this, but Yong-hwa takes that as his cue to get up and leave the lecture theatre.
His days of being a stalker are hopefully over, but it really all depends if Seo Joo-hyun will take the bait.
He hopes she will. From what he’s seen of her over these two weeks, she is dedicated, driven and serious-things that Yong-hwa typically doesn’t look for in a girl, but then again Yong-hwa isn’t looking for a girl.
He is looking for their band manager, and Seo Joo-hyun, with her musicality and personality, would be a perfect fit for them.
When they get offstage at the music festival having finished their set, he scans the crowd, ordering the boys to split up and look for her. He makes his way through the crowd, excusing himself as he slides past a couple making out, all the while keeping an eye out for Seo Joo-hyun.
Be here, he tells her silently, scanning a sea of moving bodies shadowed in the dark. Please.
And almost as if she has heard him speak it out loud, she steps out from behind a group of particularly tall boys, white purse slung over her denim jacket, looking nothing if not a little bit lost in this crowd. Yet, as Yong-hwa makes his way over to her, Joo-hyun seems to catch sight of him and the look in her eyes as she watches him is what gives way to the swelling ebullience in Yong-hwa’s chest. She came.
He plans to introduce himself formally to her, act as if this is their first time meeting, which in a way it is, but when he stands in front of her, she surprises him by speaking his name first. “Jung Yong-hwa.”
“You know me.” Yong-hwa does not ask this as a question; it is a statement and if he wasn’t before, he is certain now that this is the girl he wants to manage CNBlue.
Seo Joo-hyun shakes her head slightly, but it is not in response to the question; it is a gesture that conveys some measure of amused exasperation. “I didn’t. But I’ve seen you, following me this two weeks and I did a little digging. You’re not exactly stealthy, you know.”
He knows it wasn’t a nice or good thing to do, but desperation over finding a band manager overrides any guilt he has over this. Still, he apologizes. It’s important for them to start off right. “I’m sorry. I didn’t intend any harm. I just wanted to see if you were the one we wanted.”
“The one? We wanted? We?” Seo Joo-hyun’s face loses all traces of amusement now, crinkling in an expression of confusion and her hand comes up to grip the strap of her bag tightly, as if afraid. “What… what?”
It is Yong-hwa’s turn to shake his head now. It’s getting all muddled. He has to start from the beginning.
He holds out his hand.
“I’m Jung Yong-hwa, lead vocalist and guitarist of CNBlue and we’d like you to be our band manager.”
---
Fast forward to the end of today’s gig where Joo-hyun is perched on a nearby amp, coiling cables in her hand. All around her, the boys are packing up, their usual routine at the end of a gig.
“Any takers?” Yong-hwa asks, pausing in where he’s unplugging his guitar.
Joo-hyun’s hands stop for a minute in their coiling. “Just one,” she says lightly, in a way that makes Yong-hwa sure that she isn’t telling the full truth, but the rest of her news makes Yong-hwa forget that. “Mondy’s. They have a Friday night slot and they want you boys to play.”
Jong-hyun exchanges a high-five with Min-hyuk; Mondy’s isn’t a new venue for the band, but it is one of the bars that gets a larger crowd over the weekends and the money is always better for a Friday night. All in all, its not a bad offer even if it is the only offer they’ve gotten tonight. Joo-hyun puts the cables back into their rightful box, passing it to Yong-hwa. “Any others?”
Joo-hyun dusts her hands off, shaking her head. “Just the one.”
“Would have been two if you’d let me accept that girl’s invitation.” Yong-hwa counters quickly.
Joo-hyun’s response is a sharp look thrown his way, equal parts of disbelief and exasperation. “It’s not like she was legitimately going to invite you to do a real paying gig.”
“Hey, hey,” Yong-hwa isn’t really arguing with Joo-hyun at this point-whether that girl had a real gig or not to offer them doesn’t matter that much, to be honest. It is the back-forth that he enjoys with Joo-hyun. “Don’t judge people and their paying abilities just based on what they’re wearing. When did you become so superficial, Seo Joo-hyun?”
Joo-hyun stands from where she’s been attempting to lift the amp, hands on her hips. “Since you employed me to be your band manager, Jung Yong-hwa.” She says evenly, but Yong-hwa knows that there’s no real heat behind her words.
“Plus, if her shorts and crop top weren’t a dead giveaway that she wasn’t going to be able to actually afford your booking fee, the fact that she was probably well on her way to being drunk was a good clue.” She bends down again, heaving with all her strength and she staggers a little under the weight of the amp, heading towards the door.
Yong-hwa assumes that the last of it, until Joo-hyun mumbles under her breath, obviously meant to be too soft for him to hear, but he hears it anyway. “I’m not even sure she wanted the whole band there anyway.”
“What did you say?”
Joo-hyun colors, obviously surprised that he did hear, but she’s not about to back down either as she sets down the amp heavily, just narrowly missing her toes. “I said,” She says loudly now. “That she probably wasn’t even asking for you boys to play.”
“What do you mean now?” Yong-hwa is amused if anything. He knows where Joo-hyun is going with this-frankly, he guessed as much what the intentions of the girl were from the minute she approached him, but again, half the fun is seeing Joo-hyun squirm her way through this.
Joo-hyun’s cheeks are now no longer a delicate pink, but a definite red. “She probably just wanted you, okay?” She uses the right toe of her slip on to rub against the left toe, scuffing it. “Just wanted you to go over alone and…”
“And…?” Oh, this is good.
Joo-hyun’s eyes flame and she stoops down once again to lift the amp, obviously wanting nothing more than to end this conversation. “To… to… to do something indecent, okay? I don’t know.” She snaps, and she ducks her head forward, letting her hair screen her face. Aww, Joo-hyun is embarrassed. “Are we going to stand here all night and talk about your fangirls or are we going to pack up?”
As usual, Yong-hwa gives in. He really shouldn’t rile her up like that, but when you have someone as typically unflappable and under control as Seo Joo-hyun, that becomes one of his favourite things to do.
He steps in, taking the amp from her and giving her the cable box in return. “Let me take that,” He says, shaking his head. “Honestly, I don’t even know why you try to lift our amps. I know you’re our band manager, but a girl like you doing this kind of manual work makes us look bad, so just leave it to us okay?”
Joo-hyun’s only response is an eye-roll, but she takes the cable box with some obvious relief and the pair of them head out. They loiter in the carpark for a while, the boys and Joo-hyun as she doles out the last of her items-tickets to an EP launch of a new band in town for next week, lozenges for Jong-hyun, Min-hyuk’s missing house keys and then the boys are piling into their respective cars and pulling out.
Yong-hwa barely stifles a yawn, heading to his own car, when he spots Joo-hyun heading alone out of the car park. “Yah!” He calls over to her and she turns around. “Where are you going?”
“Home?” Joo-hyun answers after a beat, confusion written on her face even in the dark and Yong-hwa sighs as he walks around to the passenger side, opening the door.
“Get in already, Joo-hyun.” He tells her, shaking his head. “We do this every gig. Aren’t you tired of it already?”
She is coming closer already, clutching her bag, but still, her familiar reply comes, clear as ever in the dark. “I don’t want to impose…”
Yong-hwa is already sliding into the driver’s seat. “Which part of you are our band manager, and I wouldn’t make you go home alone in the late hours of night did you not get when I said this the first few times? Get in already; I’m tired!”
He fusses with the controls of the car, tuning the radio to a good station, but by then Joo-hyun has already tucked herself into his car, and is flashing him a quick smile of gratitude. “Thanks Yong-hwa.”
“When are you going to call me oppa?” He teases half-heartedly, starting up the engine. “We’ve been working together for a year already; I think we’re well past the niceties already. You call Jong-hyun oppa and you have nicknames for the other two kids. What about me?”
“That’s exactly it, Yong-hwa,” Joo-hyun says softly. “We work together.”
---
He doesn’t know when he started liking Joo-hyun.
If he’s being honest, he’s not sure if he can even pinpoint an exact moment where he knew he was irrevocably in love with her. He likes to think it was a process; somewhere in between the kaleidoscope of moments shared on this journey together-Joo-hyun became someone unspeakably important to him. Its in everything she does; staying up late with them when they’re recording in the studio regardless of whether she has class the next day, buying them meals and drinks when they’re running practice, providing thoughts and comments on their performances and practices, getting out there, talking to people, fending off rabid fangirls (and boys sometimes). Being CNBlue’s manager is a full time job and somehow in the madness of it all, Yong-hwa finds himself impossibly in the love with the one person he never expected to fall for-their quiet, resolute and indomitable band manager, who doesn’t seem to return those feelings.
He’s had a few narrow brushes before with her; almost blurting out his feelings in her face when he’d had too much to drink at an after event party, the times she actually voluntarily gets too close for comfort, arranging his hair or brushing off something on his face.
There’s only two things that stop Jung Yong-hwa from making any kind of move, like he usually would.
The first is that Seo Joo-hyun doesn’t seem to have any kind of feeling, of the romantic variety more specifically, for him.
It’s ironic, he thinks, that he knows exactly how to press the buttons of the female members of his audience. Hand on the mic, other hand running through his sweaty bangs, while he maintains eye contact with whichever pretty girl is in the front row. By the end of the song, he can guarantee that she’ll be mouthing the lyrics along with him, staring at him like he’s some kind of god. It’s a patented move. If things get really hot, he can even peel off his top layer (usually a plaid shirt or jacket of sorts), leaving behind only his white shirt underneath, which usually gets quite a fair bit of screaming. Sometimes he even shakes out his sweaty hair over them, which is also a sure-fire success move.
Charm has always come easy to Yong-hwa, which makes him automatically the public face of the band, but he cannot get over the ultimate irony of it all-that the only person he wants his charm to work on is absolutely immune to it. From the beginning of her stint as their band manager, Joo-hyun has always steadfastly treated him as nothing but a friend. Even with his gradually increasing crush, Jung Yong-hwa has had enough experience with girls to know when they are interested and when they are not.
Seo Joo-hyun falls squarely in the latter category. (It kind of breaks his heart to be honest.)
Second, Joo-hyun is actually an amazing band manager. A month after she came aboard, they were all in complete agreement that they’d never been this well taken care of, even though Joo-hyun had made a thousand disclaimers that she had never been a manager before and she might make mistakes. There were no more practice mix-ups like the last time; it was Joo-hyun who had approached the studio directly instead of just making block bookings, and worked out some kind of publicity deal that allowed them to use the studio on a regular basis.
There were of course, no more scheduling mishaps-Joo-hyun was always careful to take note of the boys’ personal schedules, spacing out the performances so that the boys had ample time to practice and rest in between. Not to mention, she also took over things like social media, graphic design for their song covers, even getting her friend, Sunny to help out with photography-things which really helped them to solidify their image, which they had had no time for previously.
In short, Joo-hyun had definitely been the right person for the job. None of them wanted to lose her, most of all Yong-hwa. If his confession sent her running, he knew none of the guys would forgive him. Heck, he wouldn’t forgive himself. For the better of the band, he’d always tell himself. CNBlue is the most important.
They were good reasons, he knew. Good and compelling reasons, which is why he never said anything, contenting himself with the few girls that did drift in (and ultimately out of) his life. And it was working. He was friends with Joo-hyun, good friends and he got to see her on a semi-regular basis. CNBlue was coming together in a way that he never imagined they could grow to. All was good.
Still, some nights, he wondered how much longer he would be forced to hold onto his secret, wondering if one day, this secret would get the better of him.
---
There are days when hiding his secret is just so goddamned hard.
Like when Seo Joo-hyun rushes in a good 30 minutes before the gig is supposed to start, completely missing set up, with a boy in tow nonetheless.
“You’re late.” He says flatly as she comes to a skidding halt before them, unwinding the scarf around her neck as she does so. Normally, he would enjoy seeing her look this flustered (which she usually never is) but right now he’s a bit preoccupied by the fact that Seo Joo-hyun brought a boy to one of their gigs.
The offensive stranger has seated himself at one of the empty high tables, and Yong-hwa watches as he flags down a nearby waitress ostensibly to give his order. Yong-hwa doesn’t know him, but he already hates him on principle. Bastard.
“As our manager,” He says a little bit louder this time. “It’s your duty to show up at the beginning of set up. Not just before we’re about to go onstage. We’re all done already.” Yong-hwa gestures towards the stage, on which all their instruments are neatly plugged in and ready to go.
Surprisingly, Joo-hyun takes no notice of the vitriol in his voice; she must still be trying to calm down after having rushed down. “Well I’m sorry, but I told you I did have an exam today so I was going to be late. I did tell you right?” Here she looks around at the other members, who nod individually and Yong-hwa flinches. Now he just looks like a brat. Damn it, what about group solidarity, guys?
“Who’s that over there, Joo-hyun?” Jung-shin is the first to ask the burning question in the room. Yong-hwa does not like the waggle of eyebrows that the bassist gives when he asks this question. He further dislikes the way in which color jumps to Joo-hyun’s already flushed cheeks as all of them turn to look at the newcomer as a group.
“That’s my… my friend, Kyu-hyun.” Joo-hyun stutters a little in her answer and Yong-hwa feels it now-- pure unadulterated hatred, because Joo-hyun never stutters so who the hell is this guy anyway to her? “We were taking the same exam, and I was running late after so he offered to give me a lift over. When he heard I manage a band, he wanted to stop by and see you guys. He’s really into music too-he’s in an acapella group and…”
“We don’t need his whole life story.” Yong-hwa is fully aware of the fact now that he’s just being really rude about this whole thing, but he can’t seem to stop himself, not even when Joo-hyun’s eyes rest fully on him, bewildered. “Okay? We go on in 20, so stay close guys.” This he addresses to the guys exclusively, before turning on his heel and heading backstage where he can hopefully calm down and get a hold of himself.
Honestly, he tells himself. What does it matter that Joo-hyun has brought a guy to one of their gigs? She’s brought her friends before, Hyo-yeon, Tiffany, Yoon-ah and he was cool with all of them. He can be cool with this friend of hers too.
He tries not to let himself be bothered by the fact that Joo-hyun doesn’t stand backstage with him as is her custom before they go on. In fact, when he peeks through the curtains, he sees her now, sitting with her friend at his high table, talking about something. He pulls the curtain shut sharply.
He’s a pro. He can do this.
The gig starts off pretty well, despite his sour mood. He and the boys have had ample practice for this, and so its just a matter of falling into their familiar groove. Towards the end of the set, Yong-hwa grins over at Jong-hyun, jamming out on his electric guitar in one of their recent crowd pleasers, “Dear Marie” by John Mayer, one of his idols. That’s the thing about music, Yong-hwa thinks, returning his attention to the crowd. It really does have the ability to lift your mood. The song itself is light, which helps lift the mood of the crowd who are mostly nodding along or swaying appreciatively.
Then his eyes fall on Joo-hyun and every bad feeling he’s been having pre-show surges up uncontrollably in him.
She’s talking, whispering to that friend of hers, not even watching them and Yong-hwa’s only human, okay? He can feel the easy smile slide fully off his face, feels the stiffness of his expression and then he hears it before he registers it-a sour chord gone wrong coming from his guitar.
It’s a few moments of pure panic for him; he blanks, frantically trying to remember the next chord-he never puts chord sheets onstage; usually the chords come easy for him. All across the room, he feels the good mood shift, bleeding a little into confusion and distaste, but most of all, he is aware of Jong-hyun’s confused expression from out of the corner of his eye and Joo-hyun’s worried face, staring belatedly straight at him from her table.
But somehow, he forces his fingers to relax, refuses to look at Joo-hyun and her table anymore and he finds the right chord in time again, thank God. All around him, he can feel the room settle back into its lulled, peaceful state and he remembers belatedly to paste on a smile, rigid, but nonetheless a smile.
He never makes these kinds of mistakes anymore. Never. These are rookie mistakes for god’s sake.
So even as they take their last bow, waving at the crowd, Yong-hwa’s mood is decidedly black. The boys know it, staying well out of his way during pack up, which Seo Joo-hyun is conspicuously absent from for the first 10 minutes and it only serves to make him feel worse as he sits on an amp, staring at the wire he’s supposed to be coiling.
There is a sound of a footstep, and he thinks it might be Jong-hyun, come back to try to talk some sense into him, but it is Seo Joo-hyun, face flushed from the cold where she’s obviously been sending off her friend. As she takes the empty stage, there is something like a cat, languorously stretching in his chest, a mean voice in him that thinks simply, Good.
Joo-hyun starts toward him first and in that moment, Yong-hwa really hates Seo Joo-hyun, with that damnable look of worry on her face that’s directed at him because its all a lie; she doesn’t really care, does she? So he speaks first, cutting her off before she can start, “Save it, okay?”
He doesn’t want to get into the whole mess of tonight; he just wants to go home and get some sleep to wash away the events of today, but Joo-hyun is not giving up, a decidedly determined look on her face. “Yong-hwa…”
He barks out a short laugh that is anything but amused. “I said, save it. I know I messed up.” He looks down at the coils of wire in his hands, turning them over. “But really, as our band manager, I expected better of you.”
“What?”
He looks up proper at her then. “Bringing a guy to our gigs, being late for set up…”
“I said I had an exam.” Joo-hyun’s voice is quiet now, but he can hear the underlying steel of her words.
“Not even paying attention to us when we’re performing.” He shakes his head. “I expected better of you, Joo-hyun. I really did.” His hands finish their ministrations and he tosses the cable into the nearby open box, not caring if his handiwork is ruined.
Joo-hyun’s mouth is a perfect “O”, as she goggles at him. “You’ve never objected to me bringing my other friends to your gigs before.”
Yong-hwa lifts his shoulders in what is meant to be an approximation of a shrug. “Yeah, well. I think maybe we should change that. It’s not about mixing business with pleasure, isn’t it?”
He knows he is being an absolute jerk about this, but he can’t really bring himself to bother, scanning the floor for more cables to pack up, but a beat passes, and then two and it is entirely too quiet that he has to look up to make sure that Joo-hyun is actually still standing there.
When he does look up, there is a look on her face, not of anger like he would have expected, but something so kicked in her expression that it makes his heart twist instinctively. And just like that, all his anger melts away, like shadows in the sun, leaving behind only the hollow feeling in his stomach that he is basically an ass and Joo-hyun has done nothing wrong and that he is an ass who doesn’t deserve her.
But just as he opens his mouth to apologize, it all seems to happen in slow-motion.
Joo-hyun bites her lips, takes the last few steps towards him and then before he can breathe or even think, her arms are around his shoulders, wrapping themselves around him to bring him closer so that his head is resting against her belly. It is still quiet, so quiet, that Yong-hwa can hear the thump of his heartbeat in his ears but he can’t even enjoy this, can’t even breathe because suddenly all that stands out clearly in his mind is the terrifying thought: She knows.
But when she speaks, his insides quiver in instinctive relief. “I’m sorry oppa. Its been a tough day for you, hasn’t it?”
She doesn’t know that I’ve been going out of my mind with jealousy. She doesn’t know that I like her.
Frankly he doesn’t know if the thought makes him disappointed, but her words free him up to enjoy this a little more and he lets his head rest against her more heavily, his arms coming up to tighten themselves around her waist. He swallows hard, closing his eyes and biting back the urge to do something dumb like cry.
Her hand drifts up to his hair and her fingers are doing something soothing with it and he just lets himself go with it. All the while Joo-hyun speaks, her voice soft. “I should have known that you were having a bad day oppa. And I’m sorry that I wasn’t around more today; it’s just that I was really excited to show Kyu-hyun your music. He said he really liked it, by the way.”
He tries not to stiffen at the mention of her friend’s name, but honestly Joo-hyun is here now, her arms around him and a hand in his hair and so Yong-hwa figures that he can let that bone go.
“I know you’re upset about making that mistake during the show.” Joo-hyun continues in her slow, even voice. “But honestly, oppa, you’ve come such a long way, you and the boys both. You can’t beat yourself up over one little mistake you’ve made, okay?”
He nods into her stomach, and then she leans back, separating the two of them so that he can look up into her eyes.
With hair swept to the side, hanging loose over one shoulder, silhouetted like this in the last of the dying stage lights, arms cool around his neck, Yong-hwa could swear that Seo Joo-hyun is an angel and he’d be willing to love her for the rest of his life. Her hand skates up his face, pushing aside some of his sweaty bangs, making him shiver slightly and he prays she doesn’t notice.
But it is her words that still his heart. “I’m really proud of you oppa.” Joo-hyun says quietly. “I’ve never been prouder to be your band manager. Just know that, okay?”
In that moment, Jung Yong-hwa can’t decide if he wants to kiss the living daylights out of Seo Joo-hyun or whether he wants to get down on one knee and propose to her right now, but since he can’t do either, he simply settles for nodding and burying his head against her one more time. I’ll take what I can get, he tells himself. I’m not greedy.