Writing Exercise #1

[street_show]

For the circus show I am a part of creating, we were instructed to write a scene in which a boyfriend and girlfriend are in a restaurant, the boyfriend is proposing but the girl doesn't want to marry him. Here's what I came up with.

He reaches for the check with a large smile on his face, and puts his credit card in it, the slip looking out,

Comments

[street_show]

Thanks-- I was pretty happy with it. I thought it would be more... Striking if I didn't actually use any words.

[runthecops]

though i wonder if he could have perhaps produced the ring (box) in a more significant way? (by "significant" i mean something evocative of their relationship as a whole, that would reveal more about their characters/relationship than just his "exuberance".)

[street_show]

I tried my best to capture a sense of anticipation and excitement.. I only had ten minutes to write it!! Be nice!

[runthecops]

i didn't realize you didn't want any critique! i'm sorry if i hurt your feelings. :(

[madfishmonger]

That's beautiful writing, it was terribly sad but very easy to visualize.

Please send me a message, I'd love to see you perform!

[street_show]

I will do just that, and thank you for the comment! :)

[aquarius_galuxy]

That's definitely an interesting piece of writing! =D I never thought writing went hand-in-hand with a circus. =p

Oooh, a vacation in Paris! =D I've heard that Paris isn't as romantic as it's made out to be though. =o

[street_show]

Well, we have to write the show too, it's going to be a little more personable than say Cirque, where they don't speak much or just talk in gibberish.

It's gotta' come from somewhere!

[aquarius_galuxy]

So there's a plot to the show? =o

I sure hope so! =D

[jewelsverne]

Very nice scene you created there. Great emotion and depth. Good luck with the shows!

[street_show]

Thanks! :)