Grey's Anatomy: I love you two (1/1)
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Title: I love you two
Rating: PG13
Status: Complete (1/1)
Author: englishstrawbie
Characters/Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Disclaimer: Here.
Author's Note: a series of short drabbles set during episode 7x13. Arizona's decision to commit to Callie and the baby always felt way too quick for me, so this is me trying to make sense of it. I started this many months ago but my muse wasn't with me at the time.
#1
I’m in.
The words spill out of her mouth before her head has time to process what her heart is saying. She knows in that moment that she has to make a choice. As she stares into those deep brown eyes, that look at her so earnestly, her heart makes a choice. It chooses Callie.
It is a choice with consequences. A baby. Mark Sloan. Arizona knows that by choosing Callie, she is choosing them too.
She sees a smile start to form on Callie’s lips and she stops it abruptly, telling Callie that she needs more time. Her heart may have made its decision, but her head knows otherwise. Her head knows that she is mad and scared. Her head knows that by choosing Callie, she has no choice but to commit; really commit. There’s no bailing this time. It would break them both beyond repair.
So she says that she needs more time and she prays that it is enough.
#2
She’s in the middle of talking to Teddy, desperate for a voice of reason to tell her why she should commit to this blended family of Callie, Mark and baby, when she gets a page calling her to OB. She knows instinctively that something is wrong and she dashes away, her mind overcome with possibilities.
Her first thought is of Callie: is she okay?
Her second thought takes her by surprise: what about the baby, is it okay? She convinces herself that it’s because she knows how much this baby means to Callie. She convinces herself that her heart is beating faster in her chest because she has just rushed through the hospital. Yet when the picture appears on the ultrasound, she finds her eyes lingering for a moment. It might only be the size of a kidney bean, but it’s real. She can see it, growing inside of Callie’s body.
The doctor assures them that Callie and the baby are okay, but she promises to run some blood tests to be on the safe side. Arizona warms to her immediately. She is young but confident and already has a handle on this situation, which is more than the rest of them: the mother, the lesbian lover and the baby daddy. Hearing it out loud makes Arizona wonder if they’re crazy to think that this could work.
Callie looks at her expectantly, seeking comfort from her. Arizona smiles - the kind of smile that doesn’t reach her eyes - and squeezes Callie’s shoulder, telling her that it’s going to be alright. She makes her excuses to leave, promising to be there when the blood work comes back. She can see Callie starting to worry, thinking that perhaps she’s not really ‘in’ after all but she cannot offer any reassurance right now. It’s all she can do to get through the moment without going back to that place of feeling mad and scared.
She just needs more time.
#3
She is distracting herself with chart reviews in an empty examination room when Mark finds her.
“She needs you,” he says as he closes the door behind him.
Arizona rolls her eyes at his presence. “Mark…”
“She needs you,” he repeats. “All this worrying and panic isn’t really about the baby, it’s about you. She loves you. She’s freaking out over there because she needs you and she’s scared that you’re going to bail on her again.”
“I told her I was in,” she sighs.
“Yeah well, you haven’t exactly got a good record of sticking around,” Mark comments.
Arizona glares at him. “I know I made a mistake. I came back from Africa and I knew that she would be mad at me and I knew that it would take some time to earn her forgiveness and her trust. But I didn’t think that I would be coming back to this. I’m trying, okay? I’m really trying. Do you think that this is easy for me?”
“Do you think that this is easy for her?” Mark snaps back. “She finally gets a baby, what she’s always wanted, but she knows that it’s the one thing that might push you away forever.”
“You slept together, Mark! That’s not something that I can get over in a day,” Arizona says through gritted teeth. “And now there’s a baby, a baby that Callie wants me to love. I want to, but what if I can’t? How can I promise her that I’m going to love that child the way that she wants me to?
The question hangs in the air, her insecurities exposed. She drops her head and sighs.
“Look, I know this isn’t ideal,” Mark says, his tone softening. “This wasn’t the way I planned on having kids either. But it’s happened so I’m going to be there for Callie because that’s my kid.”
Arizona groans inwardly. She doesn’t need to be reminded of that.
“I can do all the right things for her. I can be there at OB appointments and I can hold her hair back when she’s throwing up because of morning sickness, but I’ll do it knowing that you’re the one that she wants there with her, not me. She wants you. She needs you. She needs you in a way that she doesn’t need me. She loves you, Robbins.”
The room falls silent. Arizona feels her head pounding and she rubs her temples. First Callie, now Mark; both with expectations, both wanting answers.
“I’m in,” she says eventually. “I am.”
“Then you need to start proving it, one step at a time,” Mark replies. “She’s still camped out on the exam table. Lucy’s getting another piece of equipment to try and find the heartbeat. Come with me. If Callie’s going to hear her baby’s heartbeat for the first time, she’s gonna want you next to her.”
Arizona nods. “Okay.”
One step at a time.
#4
“Three reasons.”
“Huh?” Arizona looks up from the spot on the floor that she’s been staring at for the past five minutes.
“I came up with three reasons why you should have Callie’s baby with Mark,” Teddy says. “You wanna hear?”
Arizona stares at her blankly and Teddy takes that as a sign to keep talking.
“Number one: you love Callie and Callie obviously loves you, and if you walk away from her now and nine months down the road you see her playing happy families with Mark Sloan’s baby, you’re going to regret it.
“Number two: Mark may be an ass most of the time, but it seems to me that when it comes to Callie his heart is in the right place, even if his head is ruled by his penis, so maybe you should give him a chance.
“Number three: that baby has no say in who its biological parents are, but we see all the time in this hospital that biology doesn’t always make a person a parent. Honestly, he or she is going to need you to balance out having Mark Sloan as a father.”
Teddy looks at her, waiting for a response. “Come on, coming up with three reasons in a few hours isn’t bad! I’m sure I can come up with others if you give me a few more days.”
Arizona shakes her head. “It’s okay.”
She reaches inside of her pocket and pulls out the small ultrasound picture that Lucy had given to her earlier. She holds it out towards Teddy. “We heard the heartbeat,” she says softly. “It was amazing.”
Teddy studies the picture. “So you’re really going to do this?”
Arizona smiles and nods. “I am. I love her, and this baby is a part of her. I don’t know why I was so scared about loving it.”
“What about Mark?”
Arizona shrugged. “I can get used to the fact that it’s Mark’s baby, but I can’t get used to not being with Callie. I tried that in Africa and I came running back. I guess I realised that I will always come running back to her, no matter what.”
Teddy smiled, handing back the picture. “For what it’s worth, I’m pleased for you. You guys are too good together to let anything get in the way.”
“Thank you,” Arizona says gratefully. “And Teddy? Keep that list of reasons to hand, okay? I have a feeling I’m going to need it once in a while.”
#5
Callie sleeps next to her, sprawled on her back with one hand flung over her head, hair splayed over the pillow, and the other hand resting on her slightly swollen tummy. Arizona lies on her side, her head propped up on her hand as she studies Callie’s face. She looks more at peace than she has all day, finally calm now that she believes that the baby is okay. Her face wears a small frown but her lips are turned upwards in a smile, and Arizona wonders what she’s dreaming about.
Her eyes wander down to her tummy. She sees pregnant women every day at work, yet there is something more magical and exciting about this pregnancy than any other. She runs her fingertips gently over Callie’s hand and down her fingers, resting her hand on top of Callie’s. She shuffles slightly down the bed and leans in towards the tiny bump.
“So here’s the thing. If today is anything to go by, the next seven months are gonna be a pretty interesting time, probably even more so once you’re actually here. All you have to remember is that you’ve got three parents who love you. We’re not always going to get it right; in fact, we’re probably going to get it wrong more times than we should. But we’ll make it work, okay? All of us, together, as a family.”
She shuffles back up the bed and curls up her body against Callie’s, never letting go of her hand, feeling protective of the tiny tiny human that is growing inside of her.
“Arizona?” Callie mumbles.
Arizona responds with a kiss, her lips soft against Callie’s cheek. “Get some rest,” she says, closing her eyes.
“You were right.”
“Right about what?”
“I do love you.”
Arizona opens her eyes just as Callie drifts off back to sleep. “I love you two.”
Title: I love you two
Rating: PG13
Status: Complete (1/1)
Author: englishstrawbie
Characters/Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Disclaimer: Here.
Author's Note: a series of short drabbles set during episode 7x13. Arizona's decision to commit to Callie and the baby always felt way too quick for me, so this is me trying to make sense of it. I started this many months ago but my muse wasn't with me at the time.
#1
I’m in.
The words spill out of her mouth before her head has time to process what her heart is saying. She knows in that moment that she has to make a choice. As she stares into those deep brown eyes, that look at her so earnestly, her heart makes a choice. It chooses Callie.
It is a choice with consequences. A baby. Mark Sloan. Arizona knows that by choosing Callie, she is choosing them too.
She sees a smile start to form on Callie’s lips and she stops it abruptly, telling Callie that she needs more time. Her heart may have made its decision, but her head knows otherwise. Her head knows that she is mad and scared. Her head knows that by choosing Callie, she has no choice but to commit; really commit. There’s no bailing this time. It would break them both beyond repair.
So she says that she needs more time and she prays that it is enough.
#2
She’s in the middle of talking to Teddy, desperate for a voice of reason to tell her why she should commit to this blended family of Callie, Mark and baby, when she gets a page calling her to OB. She knows instinctively that something is wrong and she dashes away, her mind overcome with possibilities.
Her first thought is of Callie: is she okay?
Her second thought takes her by surprise: what about the baby, is it okay? She convinces herself that it’s because she knows how much this baby means to Callie. She convinces herself that her heart is beating faster in her chest because she has just rushed through the hospital. Yet when the picture appears on the ultrasound, she finds her eyes lingering for a moment. It might only be the size of a kidney bean, but it’s real. She can see it, growing inside of Callie’s body.
The doctor assures them that Callie and the baby are okay, but she promises to run some blood tests to be on the safe side. Arizona warms to her immediately. She is young but confident and already has a handle on this situation, which is more than the rest of them: the mother, the lesbian lover and the baby daddy. Hearing it out loud makes Arizona wonder if they’re crazy to think that this could work.
Callie looks at her expectantly, seeking comfort from her. Arizona smiles - the kind of smile that doesn’t reach her eyes - and squeezes Callie’s shoulder, telling her that it’s going to be alright. She makes her excuses to leave, promising to be there when the blood work comes back. She can see Callie starting to worry, thinking that perhaps she’s not really ‘in’ after all but she cannot offer any reassurance right now. It’s all she can do to get through the moment without going back to that place of feeling mad and scared.
She just needs more time.
#3
She is distracting herself with chart reviews in an empty examination room when Mark finds her.
“She needs you,” he says as he closes the door behind him.
Arizona rolls her eyes at his presence. “Mark…”
“She needs you,” he repeats. “All this worrying and panic isn’t really about the baby, it’s about you. She loves you. She’s freaking out over there because she needs you and she’s scared that you’re going to bail on her again.”
“I told her I was in,” she sighs.
“Yeah well, you haven’t exactly got a good record of sticking around,” Mark comments.
Arizona glares at him. “I know I made a mistake. I came back from Africa and I knew that she would be mad at me and I knew that it would take some time to earn her forgiveness and her trust. But I didn’t think that I would be coming back to this. I’m trying, okay? I’m really trying. Do you think that this is easy for me?”
“Do you think that this is easy for her?” Mark snaps back. “She finally gets a baby, what she’s always wanted, but she knows that it’s the one thing that might push you away forever.”
“You slept together, Mark! That’s not something that I can get over in a day,” Arizona says through gritted teeth. “And now there’s a baby, a baby that Callie wants me to love. I want to, but what if I can’t? How can I promise her that I’m going to love that child the way that she wants me to?
The question hangs in the air, her insecurities exposed. She drops her head and sighs.
“Look, I know this isn’t ideal,” Mark says, his tone softening. “This wasn’t the way I planned on having kids either. But it’s happened so I’m going to be there for Callie because that’s my kid.”
Arizona groans inwardly. She doesn’t need to be reminded of that.
“I can do all the right things for her. I can be there at OB appointments and I can hold her hair back when she’s throwing up because of morning sickness, but I’ll do it knowing that you’re the one that she wants there with her, not me. She wants you. She needs you. She needs you in a way that she doesn’t need me. She loves you, Robbins.”
The room falls silent. Arizona feels her head pounding and she rubs her temples. First Callie, now Mark; both with expectations, both wanting answers.
“I’m in,” she says eventually. “I am.”
“Then you need to start proving it, one step at a time,” Mark replies. “She’s still camped out on the exam table. Lucy’s getting another piece of equipment to try and find the heartbeat. Come with me. If Callie’s going to hear her baby’s heartbeat for the first time, she’s gonna want you next to her.”
Arizona nods. “Okay.”
One step at a time.
#4
“Three reasons.”
“Huh?” Arizona looks up from the spot on the floor that she’s been staring at for the past five minutes.
“I came up with three reasons why you should have Callie’s baby with Mark,” Teddy says. “You wanna hear?”
Arizona stares at her blankly and Teddy takes that as a sign to keep talking.
“Number one: you love Callie and Callie obviously loves you, and if you walk away from her now and nine months down the road you see her playing happy families with Mark Sloan’s baby, you’re going to regret it.
“Number two: Mark may be an ass most of the time, but it seems to me that when it comes to Callie his heart is in the right place, even if his head is ruled by his penis, so maybe you should give him a chance.
“Number three: that baby has no say in who its biological parents are, but we see all the time in this hospital that biology doesn’t always make a person a parent. Honestly, he or she is going to need you to balance out having Mark Sloan as a father.”
Teddy looks at her, waiting for a response. “Come on, coming up with three reasons in a few hours isn’t bad! I’m sure I can come up with others if you give me a few more days.”
Arizona shakes her head. “It’s okay.”
She reaches inside of her pocket and pulls out the small ultrasound picture that Lucy had given to her earlier. She holds it out towards Teddy. “We heard the heartbeat,” she says softly. “It was amazing.”
Teddy studies the picture. “So you’re really going to do this?”
Arizona smiles and nods. “I am. I love her, and this baby is a part of her. I don’t know why I was so scared about loving it.”
“What about Mark?”
Arizona shrugged. “I can get used to the fact that it’s Mark’s baby, but I can’t get used to not being with Callie. I tried that in Africa and I came running back. I guess I realised that I will always come running back to her, no matter what.”
Teddy smiled, handing back the picture. “For what it’s worth, I’m pleased for you. You guys are too good together to let anything get in the way.”
“Thank you,” Arizona says gratefully. “And Teddy? Keep that list of reasons to hand, okay? I have a feeling I’m going to need it once in a while.”
#5
Callie sleeps next to her, sprawled on her back with one hand flung over her head, hair splayed over the pillow, and the other hand resting on her slightly swollen tummy. Arizona lies on her side, her head propped up on her hand as she studies Callie’s face. She looks more at peace than she has all day, finally calm now that she believes that the baby is okay. Her face wears a small frown but her lips are turned upwards in a smile, and Arizona wonders what she’s dreaming about.
Her eyes wander down to her tummy. She sees pregnant women every day at work, yet there is something more magical and exciting about this pregnancy than any other. She runs her fingertips gently over Callie’s hand and down her fingers, resting her hand on top of Callie’s. She shuffles slightly down the bed and leans in towards the tiny bump.
“So here’s the thing. If today is anything to go by, the next seven months are gonna be a pretty interesting time, probably even more so once you’re actually here. All you have to remember is that you’ve got three parents who love you. We’re not always going to get it right; in fact, we’re probably going to get it wrong more times than we should. But we’ll make it work, okay? All of us, together, as a family.”
She shuffles back up the bed and curls up her body against Callie’s, never letting go of her hand, feeling protective of the tiny tiny human that is growing inside of her.
“Arizona?” Callie mumbles.
Arizona responds with a kiss, her lips soft against Callie’s cheek. “Get some rest,” she says, closing her eyes.
“You were right.”
“Right about what?”
“I do love you.”
Arizona opens her eyes just as Callie drifts off back to sleep. “I love you two.”