Strangetown, HWC: Blind Date
"You sure about this?" Beau asked, momentarily dropping his "you go girl" act. "He's not the easiest nut to crack, you know."
"I know."
"Yeah, he's..." He fiddled with a hangnail, considering the best wording. "He's difficult. And I'm not sure he's good enough for you."
Lucy smiled, rolling her eyes. "Nobody is, right?"
"Hardly."
"I have a pretty good idea of what I'm getting into here, okay? I don't know. He just seems... worth it, you know?"
"Yeah. I know."
He'd always known Lucy would end up going for someone just like Tank. She'd had enough of the showy type, the bad boys, the ones who talked a good game. The ones that had little to offer beneath the surface. Tank was nothing but beneath the surface. Like an iceberg, hardly anything was revealed. Even less than that. But when it came down to it, there was something worthwhile in there, if one could ever reach it.
Lucy loved a challenge.
That, and he wasn't too hard on the eyes either, if you were into that sort of thing. He looked the type to be completely full of himself, but he wasn't. He was almost quiet to a fault. Beau could see the appeal. Lucy'd seen her share of talkers.
"Well, if you're sure, I think I can probably arrange it," he said.
Lucy smiled, a little flush in the cheeks, then gave a little nod.
"Alright then. Let's get this ball rolling! I have a date to set up."
"Do you think he'll say yes?"
Beau shot laughter so forceful that Lucy jumped a little in response. "Are you kidding me?! He's not an IDIOT."
"Tank," he began, "there's really no nice way to say this..."
Tank looked up, apprehension clear in his face.
"You're depressing the crap out of me."
"What?"
Frances was quick to soften the blow. "We're just a little concerned about you."
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Tank snapped.
"You need to get out more," Beau said. "You need a date."
"Well, sorry, Beau. I'm just really busy and my last relationship ended badly, to say the least. I'm just taking a break. There's nothing wrong with taking a break from the playing field, right?"
"You've quit the game."
"That's not -"
"But listen. It's okay. We've set you up on a date."
"What?"
"You know, a blind date."
"A date?! Frances?" Tank turned to him, seeking answers. There was no way Frances would let Beau do something like this to him.
"We think you'll like her," he reassured him.
Right on cue, the door opened.
She was breathtaking.
Lucy Burb. His dream girl.
"Oh," he said, a goofy smile on his face.
He got to his feet and approached her, quite automatically.
"Is that a good oh?" she asked.
Tank smiled. "Yes, I would say so."
"Well, have fun, you crazy kids!" Beau said.
And off they went.
"Listen, Lucy, I just came out of a relationship, and a bad breakup, so I don't want to rush into anything." But he didn't stop caressing her.
"I understand." She unbuttoned his shirt and worked it down over his shoulders. His body was even more breathtaking than she'd imagined. She reached out and moved her hands over his bare chest.
"And I wouldn't... do that to you on a first date. It wouldn't be right, would it?" He was taking off her clothes now too. Slowly, deliberately, piece by piece.
"Good people don't do that," she agreed. "They wait."
Tank didn't wait. He was moving his lips across her neck and down over her body. He was drunk on pheromones, and his desire to have Lucy was overpowering any remaining shred of willpower he had.
"I'm a bad man," he said.
"So bad," she agreed.
"Will you ever forgive me?"
"Only if you don't stop."
"Oh, Lucy. You are amazing."
"Well, well, well... all the way on the very first date? Really, Tank?"
"What?! She TOLD you?"
"Get used to it, Tank. I aready know all the relevant stats and figures. Don't you know that when you buy the girl, the gay husband comes for free? As a bonus? It's a special offer."
"I can't believe -"
"Don't worry, Tank. She didn't tell me. I HEARD you. I mean, there's nothing wrong with losing yourself in the moment, but Holy Simoleons! Is there anything left, or did you pound her straight through the wall?"
"Were we loud?" he asked, sheepishly.
Beau threw his head back and laughed heartily.
"LOUD? Tank, you woke the DEAD. Frances and I've been up all morning, re-burying the bodies up in Muenda cemetary."
"Fuck off."
"Hey, you asked."
Tank turned back to his coffee in silence.
"But hey - it sounded like a good time, huh? Those weren't exactly noises of complaint I heard."
Tank smiled.
"And the grunting! Oh, the grunting! Naughty, naughty boy. Must be a Grunt thing. I've heard rumours about your kind. Bunch of animals, the works of you. Like cats in heat."
"The females are the ones who go into heat, by the way." Frances entered the room and poured himself some coffee. "if you insist on using feline similies, get it right, please."
"Priss bag."
"Bobblehead."
Beau started wobbling his head around, following Frances around the kitchen. "Better watch it, my big fat head is just bobbling out of control here."
"Hey - hey! Watch the coffee."
"Kiss me."
Frances glanced over at Tank and gave Beau a look.
"Oh, like he can say anything after last night."
"Hmm, yes, indeed. You do have a point there."
Tank thought he would probably die of embarrassment. "I didn't realize we were so loud."
"Hey," Beau said, "we're just happy to see you getting some."
"To see you happy," Frances corrected.
"Well, thanks," Tank said. "It was... a good blind date."
"Just call me Yenta," said Beau. "We're first class, pro matchmakers. You'll be receiving the bill in the mail."
Lucy stepped into the kitchen.
Before Tank had a chance to even think about feeling awkward, she reached out her hand and placed it on his shoulder, and started playing with his hair with the other hand. "Talking about me?"
"Maybe."
"All good things, I hope."
"I couldn't think of anything bad if I tried," he said, honestly. "It's all... good. Everything about you is good."
"You flatter me."
"It's true."
"Well, you're not so bad yourself, Tank Grunt."