[sunday_reveries] Don't Cry To Me (you can't play the victim this time)
(Follows events in a fake pretendy world. Will be cross-posted at aplayfulpup soon enough. Aaron is aplayfulpup. Felicity is cheifs_favorite. Grace is heirtothe_chief. Directly following this.)
When someone breaks your heart, you stop believing and you switch off the lights inside your heart. Someone is home but that someone is lying in the dark, in the room farthest from the gate, and that someone can’t hear anything." ~M.D. Balangue
When the game he was watching was over, and the house was quiet and dark, Jake left. He tried calling Aaron, but Aaron didn't pick up. He went by the apartment, but Aaron wasn't there. It didn't take him long to figure out where he'd find his friend. He went to the nearest bar and walked in, glancing around. He saw the familiar mop of hair bowed over a glass of beer, several empty shot glasses at his elbow.
Jake walked over and started stacking the shot glasses and moving them away from Aaron. Aaron looked over at him, bleary eyed, and smiled. “Hey Pan, old lady actually let you out?”
A glare settled over Jake’s face and his jaw tightened. “We’re leavin’. Now.”
Aaron snorted. “You may be, but I ain’t leavin’ til I’m crawlin’ on the floor or til I find a pretty girl to fuck.”
Jake shook his head and grabbed the beer from Aaron. “Get the hell up.” He set the glass on the other side of the bar and pulled his credit card from his wallet to hand the bartender.
“Yo, lay off.” Aaron elbowed Jake and tried reaching for his beer. “What the hell crawled up your ass?” Aaron glanced up at Jake. “Or you not gettin’ any anymore? Told your dumb ass not to get married. Don’t seem like Grace has the body she used to have, and know you’re stuck with it.” He laughed slightly and missed the moment where Jake’s fist came at his jaw.
Aaron went falling back onto the floor and lay sprawled on his back. He was groaning softly. Jake took his credit card back, then bent over to yank Aaron off his feet and start dragging him towards the door.
“G’off,” Aaron grumbled.
Jake continued shoving Aaron out the door, then dragged him towards his car and pushed Aaron up against it. His hands were at the collar of Aaron’s shirt. “Stop bein’ such a goddamn jackass,” he hissed. “Say what ya want about me, but keep your fuckin’ mouth shut ‘bout my wife. Ya hear?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Aaron rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”
“No! It ain’t whatever, Aaron!” Jake shoved him back against the car again. “What the fuck’s wrong with you?! Can’t you have sense enough to leave Felicity alone? Ya really gotta keep hittin’ her down like that?!”
“I don’t know what you’re-”
“Don’t play dumb. I know you got no common sense, but you’re not stupid. What the fuck were you thinking’?”
“She doesn’t belong here,” Aaron said quietly.
“Then why’d you sleep with her?”
“I…don’t know.” Aaron looked down. “I’m a screw up, man.”
“No. Stop.” Jake backed off, letting Aaron down. He was shaking his head. “I don’t wanna hear ‘bout it anymore. Yeah, you’re a fuck up. You’re a moron, Poor you. Know what? That don’t fly anymore. For more than thirty years you been a jackass and thinkin’ we should all accept it, cuz that’s who you are. But I won’t anymore.”
Aaron stood up, straightening himself out, and started to turn his back on Jake. “Fuck off then.”
“No!” Jake grabbed Aaron’s shoulder and spun him around. “See, I know that ain’t you. I know you got it in you to be a good guy, and that’s why I’ve put up with your shit for so long. That’s why I’ve been linkin’ you to your son.”
“Oh yeah, that went well,” Aaron rolled his eyes.
“Because you had to open your goddamn mouth!”
“She won’t accept that I’m nothin’ to be watin’ around for!”
“Well…good job. She sees that now. She sees you for the sonuvabitch you really are. You’re right. You got no right bein’ around Michael.”
“Like I said,” Aaron nodded.
“Yeah,” Jake nodded with. “Cause Mikey? He’s already turnin’ into a better man than you. He’s smart an’ sweet, and he’s capable of lovin’ his family. He’s got…this addictive smile. Lightens up the whole room. An’ he’s got a beautiful life ahead’a him. And I’m thankful that it won’t include you, because you’d take the goddamn life out of that little boy. You’d break ‘im til all that light left his eyes. He wouldn’t know that you ain’t worth the sweat of worryin’. I know it. Liss knows it. Hell, Grace knew it ten years ago, but she’s such an incredible woman? She pushed it aside and let us keep you in our lives. Not cuz she gives a flying fuck about you, but because she loves me. And she loves her sister. And that is what keeps us all a family.”
“Guess you just learned what I’ve always told ya,” Aaron shrugged, looking away. Jake could tell his words had hurt Aaron, but of course the damn bastard was pushing it down.
“I used to feel sorry for you,” Jake said quietly. “That you didn’t know how to love anyone, not even yourself. Really though…you just don’t wanna try. Makes you more of a dog than you already try t’be.” Jake yanked his keys out of his pocket and walked around to the drivers side door. “Go back in and drink yourself dead for all I care.”
“Fuck you,” Aaron called out.
“Yeah. Great emotional response there, Aaron.” Jake pulled the car door open and slid into it, cranking up the engine. He turned the headlights on, blinding Aaron who still stood there watching him. Then he slammed the door shut and started to back away.
Aaron still stood there, glaring. “You’re the idiot! You’re choosin’ them over me?” He was yelling, and Jake’s window was down so he could hear it. “I’ve been here nearly our whole damned lives, and you’re just endin’ it? Like that?”
Jake slammed on the breaks at the exit of the parking lot and jumped out of the car, leaving it running with its door open. He broke into a quick and angry walk towards Aaron. “When the hell have you ever done anything for me?!”
“I’ve been here.”
“No. You’ve had me cleanin’ up after your sorry ass all these years! Keepin’ you out of trouble the best I can! I’m not doin’ it anymore, so don’t you fuckin’ tell me how to be a friend! I’m done with you.” Then Jake spun around again and went back to his car, peeling out of the lot, the tires screaming.
Aaron just stood there, watching him go, wanting to fall to his feet and cry. But he didn’t. He turned around and went back into the bar, drinking until he passed out.
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When someone breaks your heart, you stop believing and you switch off the lights inside your heart. Someone is home but that someone is lying in the dark, in the room farthest from the gate, and that someone can’t hear anything." ~M.D. Balangue
When the game he was watching was over, and the house was quiet and dark, Jake left. He tried calling Aaron, but Aaron didn't pick up. He went by the apartment, but Aaron wasn't there. It didn't take him long to figure out where he'd find his friend. He went to the nearest bar and walked in, glancing around. He saw the familiar mop of hair bowed over a glass of beer, several empty shot glasses at his elbow.
Jake walked over and started stacking the shot glasses and moving them away from Aaron. Aaron looked over at him, bleary eyed, and smiled. “Hey Pan, old lady actually let you out?”
A glare settled over Jake’s face and his jaw tightened. “We’re leavin’. Now.”
Aaron snorted. “You may be, but I ain’t leavin’ til I’m crawlin’ on the floor or til I find a pretty girl to fuck.”
Jake shook his head and grabbed the beer from Aaron. “Get the hell up.” He set the glass on the other side of the bar and pulled his credit card from his wallet to hand the bartender.
“Yo, lay off.” Aaron elbowed Jake and tried reaching for his beer. “What the hell crawled up your ass?” Aaron glanced up at Jake. “Or you not gettin’ any anymore? Told your dumb ass not to get married. Don’t seem like Grace has the body she used to have, and know you’re stuck with it.” He laughed slightly and missed the moment where Jake’s fist came at his jaw.
Aaron went falling back onto the floor and lay sprawled on his back. He was groaning softly. Jake took his credit card back, then bent over to yank Aaron off his feet and start dragging him towards the door.
“G’off,” Aaron grumbled.
Jake continued shoving Aaron out the door, then dragged him towards his car and pushed Aaron up against it. His hands were at the collar of Aaron’s shirt. “Stop bein’ such a goddamn jackass,” he hissed. “Say what ya want about me, but keep your fuckin’ mouth shut ‘bout my wife. Ya hear?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Aaron rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”
“No! It ain’t whatever, Aaron!” Jake shoved him back against the car again. “What the fuck’s wrong with you?! Can’t you have sense enough to leave Felicity alone? Ya really gotta keep hittin’ her down like that?!”
“I don’t know what you’re-”
“Don’t play dumb. I know you got no common sense, but you’re not stupid. What the fuck were you thinking’?”
“She doesn’t belong here,” Aaron said quietly.
“Then why’d you sleep with her?”
“I…don’t know.” Aaron looked down. “I’m a screw up, man.”
“No. Stop.” Jake backed off, letting Aaron down. He was shaking his head. “I don’t wanna hear ‘bout it anymore. Yeah, you’re a fuck up. You’re a moron, Poor you. Know what? That don’t fly anymore. For more than thirty years you been a jackass and thinkin’ we should all accept it, cuz that’s who you are. But I won’t anymore.”
Aaron stood up, straightening himself out, and started to turn his back on Jake. “Fuck off then.”
“No!” Jake grabbed Aaron’s shoulder and spun him around. “See, I know that ain’t you. I know you got it in you to be a good guy, and that’s why I’ve put up with your shit for so long. That’s why I’ve been linkin’ you to your son.”
“Oh yeah, that went well,” Aaron rolled his eyes.
“Because you had to open your goddamn mouth!”
“She won’t accept that I’m nothin’ to be watin’ around for!”
“Well…good job. She sees that now. She sees you for the sonuvabitch you really are. You’re right. You got no right bein’ around Michael.”
“Like I said,” Aaron nodded.
“Yeah,” Jake nodded with. “Cause Mikey? He’s already turnin’ into a better man than you. He’s smart an’ sweet, and he’s capable of lovin’ his family. He’s got…this addictive smile. Lightens up the whole room. An’ he’s got a beautiful life ahead’a him. And I’m thankful that it won’t include you, because you’d take the goddamn life out of that little boy. You’d break ‘im til all that light left his eyes. He wouldn’t know that you ain’t worth the sweat of worryin’. I know it. Liss knows it. Hell, Grace knew it ten years ago, but she’s such an incredible woman? She pushed it aside and let us keep you in our lives. Not cuz she gives a flying fuck about you, but because she loves me. And she loves her sister. And that is what keeps us all a family.”
“Guess you just learned what I’ve always told ya,” Aaron shrugged, looking away. Jake could tell his words had hurt Aaron, but of course the damn bastard was pushing it down.
“I used to feel sorry for you,” Jake said quietly. “That you didn’t know how to love anyone, not even yourself. Really though…you just don’t wanna try. Makes you more of a dog than you already try t’be.” Jake yanked his keys out of his pocket and walked around to the drivers side door. “Go back in and drink yourself dead for all I care.”
“Fuck you,” Aaron called out.
“Yeah. Great emotional response there, Aaron.” Jake pulled the car door open and slid into it, cranking up the engine. He turned the headlights on, blinding Aaron who still stood there watching him. Then he slammed the door shut and started to back away.
Aaron still stood there, glaring. “You’re the idiot! You’re choosin’ them over me?” He was yelling, and Jake’s window was down so he could hear it. “I’ve been here nearly our whole damned lives, and you’re just endin’ it? Like that?”
Jake slammed on the breaks at the exit of the parking lot and jumped out of the car, leaving it running with its door open. He broke into a quick and angry walk towards Aaron. “When the hell have you ever done anything for me?!”
“I’ve been here.”
“No. You’ve had me cleanin’ up after your sorry ass all these years! Keepin’ you out of trouble the best I can! I’m not doin’ it anymore, so don’t you fuckin’ tell me how to be a friend! I’m done with you.” Then Jake spun around again and went back to his car, peeling out of the lot, the tires screaming.
Aaron just stood there, watching him go, wanting to fall to his feet and cry. But he didn’t. He turned around and went back into the bar, drinking until he passed out.
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