(Fic) Matthew 1.23, Except Not
This is just a cute and fluffy little plot-bunny that came to me after reading an essay on
metafandom about common fanfiction tropes...
1,015 words, rating G, set several years after 'Chosen'. Willow and Buffy with mention of Willow/Kennedy.
Willow has some important news...
Matthew 1.23, Except Not
"Buffy? I'm not disturbing you, am I?"
"No, I-- Will! It's wonderful to see you! And don't be silly, of course you're not disturbing me. How are you?"
"Fine. Really great. Uh, how's retirement treating you?"
"Please. I'm sensitive enough about my advancing age without you throwing words like that around."
"Thirty's not old."
"Says the twenty-nine year old. It'll be your turn in a couple of months, missy, and don't you forget it! And in answer to your question, it's working out great. Satsu's handling things just fine, the other girls seem to respect her, and I get to be the wise elderly counsellor and give sage advice every now and then. I wish I could grow a long white beard, then I could stroke it and puff on a pipe."
"Um, actually, I could probably arrange that for you..."
"Eek! I was kidding! Memo to self; never joke about that sort of thing around a witch! So anyway, what's this all about? Just a social call, or is something up?"
"Well, actually..."
"I knew it! You've got that look on your face. So what's up?"
"Well, uh, it's Kennedy. She's, um, she's pregnant."
"Oh my God! Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.... Will! That's, um, that's -- Help me out here? Is that really good news or really bad news?"
"It's good news. It's wonderful news. I'm gonna be a mom! And so's she, obviously."
"Well, that's great then. Congratulations! I'm really pleased for you both."
"Honestly? 'Cause I can see how it might be awkward for you, since I'm gonna be kinda busy for the next few years... though if there's an apocalypse, you know I'll still be there to help."
"Willow Rosenberg, you are a very silly woman. Of course I'm happy for you. I'm more than happy. Because, cute baby. Can I be its unofficial auntie? I promise to spoil it rotten."
"'Her'. She's gonna be a girl. And of course you can."
"You already know its - I mean, her sex? So how many months along is Kennedy?"
"Don't worry, we've not been hiding anything from you. She's eight days pregnant."
"Eight-- ? That's er, very precise. But that means... So, um, I know this is a personal question - and you really don't have to answer it if you don't want to, and it's also a really weird thing for me to be asking you, but, um, who's the father?"
"Heh. Interesting philosophical question."
"Huh? Splainy?"
"Well, Ken is obviously her mother, 'cause she's gonna be the one going through all the painful and messy part of the process. But she was made by combining one of her mother's ova with one of mine, so she's genetically my daughter too. But I can't be her father, 'cause I'm a girl."
"Oh. Is that sort of thing possible now?"
"Well... it is if you're me, y'know? Magic and science working together in harmony. Okay, mostly magic in this case."
"So you decided to make her a girl?"
"Um, no, Buf. X chromosome from me, X chromosome from Kennedy, equals XX. I didn't really have a choice."
"Oh. Yeah. I knew that."
"Well, I might have been able to change an X to a Y, but I wasn't a hundred percent sure it would work properly. And some things are too important to get wrong, y'know?"
"But everything is all right?"
"Everything's perfect. Ken's threatened to beat me up if I get too overprotective of her, but we did decide not to risk her teleporting here with me. But you're welcome to come visit?"
"Try and keep me away. So you're going to be a mommy! I still can't believe it. You!"
"Me. Well, courtesy of my sweetie, who's the one doing the hard work."
"You didn't want to yourself?"
"Oh boy. Really not. Seriously scary. Well, maybe next time, if we want her to have a sister. Maybe. But, I mean, Ken's got Slayer healing abilities and that supernatural resistance to pain you guys have, and we both agreed it would be much safer this way, and it's not like Kennedy will be the first Slayer to have a child, there's what, forty or fifty of them with families?"
"More than that now. Well, this is the best news in months. Have you told anyone else yet?"
"No, you're first. I was planning on calling on Xander and Renee next while I'm here, then go through the rest of the guys."
"We should totally have a party. Wet the baby's head."
"She's just a blastocyte, Buffy, her head hasn't formed yet... sorry. Been reading far too many medical books lately. Yes, we should definitely have a party. You need to start getting up to speed on your cool aunt routine, and Xan needs to get into training too. We were thinking of asking him to step in for role-model duties once she's older: teach her about carpentry and sports and things."
"Poor kid. I mean, great idea! But what if she wants to play with dollies and dress-up and girly stuff?"
"Xander's very adaptable."
"Hee! He'd love that. So, have you thought of a name?"
"We have. We thought about it very carefully, and we both agreed that there was only one thing we could possibly call her."
"And--?"
"If you don't mind, we'd like to call her Elizabeth."
"That's a lovely na-- hang on. Why should I mind? I-- oh. Oh. Oh, I see. Um, Will, you do know that 'Buffy' is my actual proper name? It's not short for anything."
"I know that. But we didn't want to, uh, burden her, so we'll call her Elizabeth, and if she wants to shorten it later to Liz or Lisa or Beth or Betty... or Buffy... she can."
"Aw, that's so sweet! Thank you. I'm really honoured. Really, really honoured."
"You're welcome."
"Hang on. What do you mean, 'burden her'?"
"Um. just that it's a big responsibility to have a name like that."
"You think my name is silly, don't you?"
"Not at all. Buffy."
"Hey! At least I'm not named after a tree..."
.
A/N: The comment that inspired this fic was, "How come everybody is writing mpreg and nobody ever writes fpreg?" So here it is: an fpreg story. :-) Matthew 1.23 starts "Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son"... well, daughter in this case; and Kennedy's virgin status is problematic (as is Willow's divine nature) hence the 'except not' part.
.
metafandom about common fanfiction tropes...
1,015 words, rating G, set several years after 'Chosen'. Willow and Buffy with mention of Willow/Kennedy.
Willow has some important news...
Matthew 1.23, Except Not
"Buffy? I'm not disturbing you, am I?"
"No, I-- Will! It's wonderful to see you! And don't be silly, of course you're not disturbing me. How are you?"
"Fine. Really great. Uh, how's retirement treating you?"
"Please. I'm sensitive enough about my advancing age without you throwing words like that around."
"Thirty's not old."
"Says the twenty-nine year old. It'll be your turn in a couple of months, missy, and don't you forget it! And in answer to your question, it's working out great. Satsu's handling things just fine, the other girls seem to respect her, and I get to be the wise elderly counsellor and give sage advice every now and then. I wish I could grow a long white beard, then I could stroke it and puff on a pipe."
"Um, actually, I could probably arrange that for you..."
"Eek! I was kidding! Memo to self; never joke about that sort of thing around a witch! So anyway, what's this all about? Just a social call, or is something up?"
"Well, actually..."
"I knew it! You've got that look on your face. So what's up?"
"Well, uh, it's Kennedy. She's, um, she's pregnant."
"Oh my God! Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.... Will! That's, um, that's -- Help me out here? Is that really good news or really bad news?"
"It's good news. It's wonderful news. I'm gonna be a mom! And so's she, obviously."
"Well, that's great then. Congratulations! I'm really pleased for you both."
"Honestly? 'Cause I can see how it might be awkward for you, since I'm gonna be kinda busy for the next few years... though if there's an apocalypse, you know I'll still be there to help."
"Willow Rosenberg, you are a very silly woman. Of course I'm happy for you. I'm more than happy. Because, cute baby. Can I be its unofficial auntie? I promise to spoil it rotten."
"'Her'. She's gonna be a girl. And of course you can."
"You already know its - I mean, her sex? So how many months along is Kennedy?"
"Don't worry, we've not been hiding anything from you. She's eight days pregnant."
"Eight-- ? That's er, very precise. But that means... So, um, I know this is a personal question - and you really don't have to answer it if you don't want to, and it's also a really weird thing for me to be asking you, but, um, who's the father?"
"Heh. Interesting philosophical question."
"Huh? Splainy?"
"Well, Ken is obviously her mother, 'cause she's gonna be the one going through all the painful and messy part of the process. But she was made by combining one of her mother's ova with one of mine, so she's genetically my daughter too. But I can't be her father, 'cause I'm a girl."
"Oh. Is that sort of thing possible now?"
"Well... it is if you're me, y'know? Magic and science working together in harmony. Okay, mostly magic in this case."
"So you decided to make her a girl?"
"Um, no, Buf. X chromosome from me, X chromosome from Kennedy, equals XX. I didn't really have a choice."
"Oh. Yeah. I knew that."
"Well, I might have been able to change an X to a Y, but I wasn't a hundred percent sure it would work properly. And some things are too important to get wrong, y'know?"
"But everything is all right?"
"Everything's perfect. Ken's threatened to beat me up if I get too overprotective of her, but we did decide not to risk her teleporting here with me. But you're welcome to come visit?"
"Try and keep me away. So you're going to be a mommy! I still can't believe it. You!"
"Me. Well, courtesy of my sweetie, who's the one doing the hard work."
"You didn't want to yourself?"
"Oh boy. Really not. Seriously scary. Well, maybe next time, if we want her to have a sister. Maybe. But, I mean, Ken's got Slayer healing abilities and that supernatural resistance to pain you guys have, and we both agreed it would be much safer this way, and it's not like Kennedy will be the first Slayer to have a child, there's what, forty or fifty of them with families?"
"More than that now. Well, this is the best news in months. Have you told anyone else yet?"
"No, you're first. I was planning on calling on Xander and Renee next while I'm here, then go through the rest of the guys."
"We should totally have a party. Wet the baby's head."
"She's just a blastocyte, Buffy, her head hasn't formed yet... sorry. Been reading far too many medical books lately. Yes, we should definitely have a party. You need to start getting up to speed on your cool aunt routine, and Xan needs to get into training too. We were thinking of asking him to step in for role-model duties once she's older: teach her about carpentry and sports and things."
"Poor kid. I mean, great idea! But what if she wants to play with dollies and dress-up and girly stuff?"
"Xander's very adaptable."
"Hee! He'd love that. So, have you thought of a name?"
"We have. We thought about it very carefully, and we both agreed that there was only one thing we could possibly call her."
"And--?"
"If you don't mind, we'd like to call her Elizabeth."
"That's a lovely na-- hang on. Why should I mind? I-- oh. Oh. Oh, I see. Um, Will, you do know that 'Buffy' is my actual proper name? It's not short for anything."
"I know that. But we didn't want to, uh, burden her, so we'll call her Elizabeth, and if she wants to shorten it later to Liz or Lisa or Beth or Betty... or Buffy... she can."
"Aw, that's so sweet! Thank you. I'm really honoured. Really, really honoured."
"You're welcome."
"Hang on. What do you mean, 'burden her'?"
"Um. just that it's a big responsibility to have a name like that."
"You think my name is silly, don't you?"
"Not at all. Buffy."
"Hey! At least I'm not named after a tree..."
.
A/N: The comment that inspired this fic was, "How come everybody is writing mpreg and nobody ever writes fpreg?" So here it is: an fpreg story. :-) Matthew 1.23 starts "Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son"... well, daughter in this case; and Kennedy's virgin status is problematic (as is Willow's divine nature) hence the 'except not' part.
.