(Meme) Your country's history

[stormwreath]

There's a thread on this over on the RPGnet forum, and I thought it would be fun to give it a go here.

Describe your country's history - not as it really was, but as the average person in your country remembers it. What are the major events that everybody knows about? What's taught in schools? What do your politicians and media talk about when they

Comments

[gillo]

I did my best to avoid just quoting '1066 And All That' verbatim...

It is a seminal book and one of my greatest influences.

The Middle Ages had monks too. And three fields.

Bloody Mary is not just a drink.

Puritans smashed up lots of pretty churches.

The two World Wars, in which we fought doggedly and the yanks came in at the last minute, late to the party, but try to take all the credit for it.

Schools also teach castles and the Holocaust. And, usually, Stalin.

[stormwreath]

I first read '1066' as a child, and came back to it every few years to discover I understood a few more of the references and jokes (that I'd previously thought were just random silliness) each time...
:-)

[candleanfeather]

Can I have the bottle please?

I imagine the short version of French history could be something like that:

First there were dinosaurs

Then cavemen and the paintings of Lascaux

Then Asterix Obelix and Jules César. And nobody knows where Alesia is. (Ask Abraracourcix)

Then Clovis or another version "Clovis who"?

Then Charlemagne

In the middleages they all were barbarians, with poor peasants under the steel rules of wicked lords and knights and incompetent kings. Or the kings were very cruel like Philippe le Bel who burned the Templiers. There were also wars, la Guerre de Cent Ans and Jeanne d'Arc who beat the English (Ah!). And what's Castillon?

Then there was the Renaissance and les châteaux de la Loire, the religious war between Protestants and Catholic. But Henri IV put an end to it and was eager for each French people to be able to eat une poule au pot on Sundays.

And I'm going to stop here because I feel a tiny depressed.

[stormwreath]

Depressed by French history or by ordinary people's lack of knowledge of it? *passes you the bottle*.

Though I'm amused that Asterix plays a central role in it. :-)

And what's Castillon?

The final battle of the Hundred Years' War in 1453. A decisive French victory, which is why nobody in England has ever heard of it. ;-) Or maybe you know it under a different name?

[candleanfeather]

As surprising as it seems, not many people in France know about Castillon; the "100 years war" ends for them around Jeanne d'Arc, hence my question. :-)

[eowyn_315]

Haha, this reminds me of my Public Policy class last week, in which we had a history lesson entitled, "It's All Oliver Cromwell's Fault." :)

[stormwreath]

At university I was a charter member of the 'Oliver Cromwell Was Actually A Good Bloke' club. I think he was, as long as you weren't a Roman Catholic or a King, at least...

[eowyn_315]

Haha, well, being American, Cromwell is only relevant in that it's all about US! :)

It's all his fault because he was an example of what happens when one person gets too much power, and so the Framers created a system of government that was meant to distribute power so that we'd never have a Cromwell.

Of course, that system is incredibly inefficient, but 3.5% efficiency is 96.5% tyranny-free! :)

[stormwreath]

Ah! it's interesting to hear a critique of Cromwell that doesn't mention Ireland...

I always had the impression that yes, he was a ruthless leader who set up a military dictatorship and oppressed people, etc etc - but he didn't actually want to be. He just wanted to set up a stable, reasonably democratic government that would guarantee religious liberty (except for Catholics), and then he could retire - but every single time he tried, people screwed it up, so he had to step in again to sort things out. Poor guy. :-)

[angearia]

The Americans decide to leave the Empire. Good riddance. We go off and conquer India and Australia to make up for it.

Oh it's our fault, eh? ;-)

I love how the violence is commemorated with cakes and tapestries. We opened up a can of whoopass, then wrote a sonnet about it, tra la la!

[stormwreath]

Oh it's our fault, eh?

Naturally. That's another aspect of British history: 'The Americans Always Try To Take The Credit', so we give them the blame too. ;-)

We opened up a can of whoopass, then wrote a sonnet about it, tra la la!

The great conundrum of English history; we're very violent, but very polite about it too. That way, you never see us coming until it's too late.

I should probably repeat the disclaimer here that this isn't really how I see history...

[lavastar]

This is surprisingly similar to my general impression of British history.

[stormwreath]

I blame Hollywood. :-)

(Also, nice to see you around again, stranger...)

[lavastar]

Hee!

America is basically Columbus discovers America, we scrappy Yanks fight our way out from under the thumbs of the lame-o British with some tea parties and declarations, the Founding Fathers do some crazy shit like buying half of America and inventing libraries, slavery, the Civil War and abolishing slavery, the Industrial Revolution, racism galore, Roaring 20s, Great Depression, World War 2 (guess I forgot World War 1, but so do most Americans) with Hitler and Hiroshima and trenches and all that, the retro 50s, Elvis, the hippie 60s, and then stuff gets all recent and we've got Obama. :)

And yeah, stuff has been rather busy lately, which has turned me back into a lurker. I am full of shame. :P

[stormwreath]

Someone on the original forum did the meme for America, with the line:

World War Two (Wait, does that mean there was an earlier one as well?)
:-)